ERIN

"Why did you bring up Mark Stuben? Why'd she take off like that?" I demanded. Everything else was now inconsequential. All I was thinking about was Lexi and why she reacted the way she did when Will mentioned Mark's name. Something was wrong. I could feel it in my bones, but I wasn't sure what.

Mary had gone off after her, but I knew Will had answers and I wanted them...now. I turned towards him, watching him stare at the screen door that both of my sisters disappeared through. He probably wanted to be the one to go after Lexi. I shook my head at the thought. It was too much to deal with right now.

Will pulled his eyes back to me, raising both of his hands up and running them over his face, groaning in frustration. "I don't know Erin. She texted me last night and had me pick her up at Junction, you know, that bar on 2nd?" I nodded my head slowly, not sure where he was going with this.

"When I got there Lexi was outside and Mark Stuben was with her."

I rolled my eyes. "Jesus Will! Is that all? Is this just you being jealous or something?"

"This has nothing to do with Lexi and me--"

"Lexi and you?" I screeched, my voice cracking on the last word. "I can't believe you slept with her!"

"That's not the fucking point!" His brown eyes were darkened with irritation and he stepped towards me. "Something's going on with Lexi. You're her sister. Don't you even care?"

"Do I care that you're all bent out of shape because she was talking to Mark Stuben? Get used to it Will! If you get hung up on Lexi, that's the kind of shit you're going to have to deal with!"

"Erin, this has nothing to do with me being jealous! You don't get it. It was how she was with him. He was in her space and--"

"Will, I know you heard the rumor about the two of them. The whole damn town heard about how she slept with him and that other guy, Ollie, at the same time!" I snorted in revulsion, remembering how humiliated I was when I first heard. I was still home for Winter Break and I'd confronted Lexi as soon as I saw her. She told me to stay the fuck out of her life and slammed her bedroom door in my face. I listened to her and did.

"There was something weird about this though," Will continued. "Lexi... She looked...intimidated. She seemed scared of the guy."

"Did you ask her about it?"

His shoulders sagged and he shook his head. "You know how she is. She won't say a God damn thing. She just shuts down and lets you think the worst until you stop asking questions."

I didn't realize how well he understood Lexi and for some reason that bothered me. I looked away from him, feeling sickened with myself. A crack in the kitchen tile caught my eye and I remember how it got there.

It was the first and only summer I came home from college. I was eighteen and hated being stuck back in the town I'd fought so hard to get out of, but I couldn't afford to stay in Boston, so I packed up my dorm room and drove home with Will.

Mary had warned me. She had told me that Lexi wasn't the same as when I last saw her at Christmas break. She wasn't there when I arrived, but Mary told me that wasn't uncommon. Lexi had never been one for rules, and apparently nothing had changed.

"She met someone," my sister explained. "Some guy in a band." Her disapproval was evident.

"I don't know what to do with her Erin. She hardly goes to school anymore, and now that she's met this guy she's changed even more. She stays out all night; she comes home wasted, if she comes home at all."

I got to experience things first hand when I ran into Lexi in the kitchen at 5 AM. At first the jiggling of the door knob scared the shit out of me. It wasn't until Lexi finally managed to unlock the door and stumble inside that my pulse began to settle down. She was still dressed in her clothes from the night before, and judging by how enthusiastically she greeted me, she was still wasted too.

"Erin!" She shouted my name, much too loudly for that early in the morning and threw her arms around me. Her body was like dead weight, making me fall back against the kitchen counter while she held onto me. "You're back," she slurred.

I pushed her off, already frustrated with her. "Are you just getting home?" It was a rhetorical question. Her dilated pupils, skewed clothing, and matted hair gave me my answer. "Where the hell have you been? It's five in the morning!"

She slumped towards the fridge and pulled back the door, smiling as if I was amusing her. That only fueled my annoyance. "Not even back for a day and already lecturing me?" she mused, pulling out a container of orange juice and drinking straight from the carton. I watched as the liquid dribbled down her chin and onto her tube top while she swayed in front of me. Mary hadn't been exaggerating. Lexi was a mess.

She lowered the juice from and wiped her face with the back of her hand. "I was with friends."

"Friends? Who?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "You wouldn't know them. You actually have to have more than one friend to have FRIENDS."

I ignored the barb. "It's five in the morning and you're seventeen. You shouldn't be out that late."

She snorted. "I'm sorry, but are you my mother?"

The conversation was going nowhere but I was too angry to see that. "No. But you're worrying Mary." She rolled her eyes and that sent me over the edge. "Listen, I don't give a shit if you want to ruin your own life, but I'll be damned if I just stand around and let you hurt Mary. She doesn't deserve that."

"Mary and I are fine. Stay out of it." She went staggering past me but I stopped her.

"She didn't seem fine when she spoke to me earlier. She's worried Lexi and it's because of you."

She stepped back and glared at me from her heavily kohl-lined eyes. "You don't get to show up and tell me what to do," she growled.

"I'm just calling it like I see it."

"Fuck off Erin. You don't know shit about me and never have." She brushed past me and for some reason I couldn't let her have the last word.

"The whole town knows about you Lexi. It's not that big of a mystery."

Before I could even blink she turned around and grabbed a ceramic vase and hurled it at me. I ducked out of the way in nick of time, my heart pounding and adrenaline pumping as the vase hit the floor and surprisingly bounced off the tile.

"What the fuck?" I shouted.

"Stay out of my life Erin. Go back to Boston. No one wants you here!"

And before I could get another word out she stormed down the hall, charging up the stairs at a record speed. The whole house shook as she slammed her bedroom door and I just stood there in the kitchen, staring after her in disbelief.

"You think he did something to her? Mark Stuben?" The question was almost too difficult to get out.

"I'm not sure what I think," Will admitted, "but I know something's wrong." He was quiet for a moment before he began to speak again. "You're her sister Erin. Something's going on and she won't talk to me about it."

An image of Mark Stuben flashed into my head. Was Will right? Was he what Lexi was running from when she left? The idea was almost too much to wrap my head around. Everyone in town knew who Mark Stuben was. I'd never had a conversation with him before but he'd always made me uncomfortable, especially after the rumors about him and Lexi started circulating. I could feel the bile burning up the back of my throat.

"He couldn't have-- She would've told us!" My eyes searched Will's, seeking some sort of affirmation he couldn't give me.

It suddenly felt like it all made sense and everything else in the world didn't. She had been hurt and none of us knew! I lurched to the side, leaning over the sink and dry heaving into it. I had nothing in my stomach but something needed to get out. I felt Will move behind me and a second later his hand was on my back. My body went stiff at the contact. I was still furious at him for sleeping with her, but I felt in my gut that his instinct about Mark might be right. And if that was the case, I couldn't push him away.

It took a minute to get in control of myself, and then I turned around and pressed my face into Will's chest as he curled his arms around me. I started to cry. The guilt was immeasurable and I buckled under it. Will held onto me as I let it out, but he couldn't seem to make me feel any better. I knew he wanted to go find Lexi and I knew I had to let him. I wasn't ready to face my sister yet, not after how I just acted, not if it was all true.

Unhooking my arms from Will, I pushed him away from me and told him to go look for her. He seemed torn. His eyes scanned over me. He knew I wasn't alright but he also wanted to find Lexi; it was plainly clear on his face.

"Go!" I shoved him in the chest, probably more aggressively than necessary, but he had to leave and I was afraid he wasn't going to. Will staggered back but didn't take his eyes off me. "Go find her!" I told him.

"Erin I--"

"It doesn't matter! If Lexi is in trouble you need to try to help her. If she won't talk to Mary and me, maybe she'll talk to you."

He didn't seem convinced but nodded anyway. I just hoped Will knew what he was getting into. He turned away from me and opened the door and I stood there in the empty kitchen as everything played back over in my head.

In some sort of numb trance, I staggered over the front door and tugged on my running shoes. I knew I had to get this all out of me and I could only think of one way to. I pulled open the door and squinted at the sun as it burned against my puffy eyes. I stumbled forward and dragged the door shut behind me, forcing myself to move.

My feet hit the sidewalk and I tore out into an open run. The sea air burned through my lungs but I kept pushing myself forward. I never ran with a destination in mind, but this time I knew exactly where I was headed and I wouldn't allow myself to stop until I got there.