ERIN

I checked the clock again, feeling antsy. It was 3:45 and I'd been in the house all day nursing the monster hangover I had. I didn't know why I thought 'unpredictable' equaled drinking myself into a stupor and blacking out, but obviously I got it all wrong. I was itching to get out and stretch my legs but, of course, a run was out of the question.

I didn't have any doubt that if I went running on the beach I'd end up seeing Jasper and I was doing all I could to prevent that from happening. Ever since our argument I switched my schedule and had taken to running early in the mornings, trying to prove a point. But the truth was I wasn't really being unpredictable. I was just embarrassed about our fight, the way I acted, and worst of all, the fact that he'd been right.

I was even more disturbed by the fact that there was still a huge part of me that wanted to see him again. I tried not to think about his shaggy hair, or how it fell to his chin and covered his face when he sang. I tried not to think about him at all, but it was almost impossible, and being stuck in the house all day wasn't helping.

I started to get jittery as I sat at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in my hands. The aspirin I took earlier was doing nothing for my head and it continued to pound as if my brain was threatening to implode.

Lexi noticed my mood the second she walked into the kitchen. "You okay?" she asked, opening a cabinet and pulling out a mug. I nodded, having no wish to explain myself. I had no clue why I was sitting here obsessing over some hippy, beach bum-- even if he did have the most gorgeous eyes I'd ever seen.

"Why'd you run off last night?" I asked, shifting the conversation over to her.

She turned her back to me and shrugged her shoulders as she began to fill her coffee cup. "I met up with some people. They were headed to another party so I went with them."

I frowned; I couldn't help myself. Lexi just took off last night and with the state I was in, it all kind of seemed unfair to Mary. "Mary was worried," I told her. "She was looking for you until she finally got your text--"

"I'm sorry, okay? And I already talked to Mary."

She was biting down on her lip like she was trying desperately to hold something back, looking tense and agitated. Lexi was usually much more carefree. Plus, apologies were a rare thing from her so I immediately grew suspicious. Standing up from my chair, I walked over to my little sister and rested my hand on her shoulder. Lexi had never been much for affection so I wasn't surprised when she flinched.

"Is something else wrong?"

"I'm fine Erin." She shrugged me off and turned around, leaning against the countertop. "I just met up with some old friends. There was a guy there I dug in high school. We hooked up. It was no big deal."

Nothing about Lexi's confession sounded unlike her, the way she took care of herself and her needs first, the fact that there was a guy involved and she just casually hooked up with him. There was no reason for me to think something wasn't right, but for some reason I did. I didn't know if it was my intuition, my gut, or her wounded eyes, but I knew Lexi was holding something back, just as much as I knew she wasn't going to tell me what it was.

I patted her arm and then stepped away; giving her the space she seemed to want. I walked back over to the table, picked up my coffee cup and put it in the sink. "I'm going for a walk," I told her.

"What no run today?" she asked, curling her hands around her steaming mug. I shook my head. "Oh my God. Hell's frozen over." I watched her smile into her coffee as she took her first sip.

Ignoring her quip, I slipped out the back door, walked down the stairs, and headed through the backyard. I turned towards the path to the beach. I knew I shouldn't, but for some reason my legs didn't seem to get the message. I switched my brain off and just let my body lead me without questioning it.

I saw Jasper just as I turned around the dune. He was sitting in the same spot on the sand that he always was, with his back pressed up against the driftwood, and his hair hanging down in front of his face. As his fingers strummed the guitar in his hands, the music he played made its way over to me, mixing in with the sound of the waves. It took a minute before I recognized the song, but when I did I smiled. U2.

His voice sounded just as good as I remembered-- rich, soulful, and heartbreaking. He really could be a professional if he put any effort into it. But looking at Jasper, I doubted he ever would.

I started to walk towards him just as he was finishing the last lines of the song. His eyes swept up to me as he played the final cord and he raised an eyebrow as I dropped down onto the sand a little ways away from him. I knew he was watching me as I drew my knees up to my chest and stared out at the waves, but I didn't acknowledge him.

"No running today?" he called out, breaking the silence between us.

"Thought I'd be a little unpredictable," I shot back, still looking out at the water.

"Oh yeah? And how's that working out for you?"

I shrugged my shoulder and then turned to face him. "Not as good as I thought. I've got a hangover and there seems to be a lot of time left over to think." I looked back out at the view. "Maybe that's what I have the issue with?"

Jasper hauled himself up and walked the few steps over to where I was sitting. He settled in next to me on the sand and looked out at the ocean. "You don't like having time to think?" It took a minute, but I finally nodded my head. "That surprises me. You seem to me like you're someone who thinks all the time."

"I never stop long enough to think. I always know what the next move is, the next goal, and am ten steps ahead."

He was quiet, letting my words marinate around us. I almost wished that I could take them back, but then he spoke. "That's not a bad thing Erin. I didn't mean to suggest that. Having drive and ambition, that's something you should be proud of, but why you're afraid to stop and think, what you're running from, that's what needs sorting out or at some point it'll take you down."

I turned and stared up at him. His sun streaked hair curled around the edges and was long enough to be tucked behind his ear. It looked silky and I found myself wondering what it felt like. "What makes you think I'm running from something?" I asked him.

"Everyone's running from something Erin. It's just how they deal with it that's different."

He turned his head and smiled, laying those damn clear blue eyes right on me and I felt like he saw me for what I was. He saw beyond the surfaced perfection deep down to the cracks in my foundation. He saw everything and he was still sitting here by my side. My cheeks burned and I turned away from him, watching as the waves broke along the shore.

"Are you running from something?" I asked him.

"Not anymore."

I wanted to know what that meant, but wasn't sure how to ask. So instead I just sat there next to him and stared out at the water. A comfortable silence settled over us and I couldn't help but think about Jasper's question. It didn't take a psychology degree to figure out that this all started when my mother left. I knew that's when the walls went up, when my already type-A personality went on overdrive and I became this emotionless drone.

"We buried my dad this week," I blurted out of the blue, not sure myself where that came from. From the corner of my eye I saw Jasper turn and look at me, but I didn't face him. "We didn't have much of a relationship but he was a good man, provided for us the best he could. My older sister Mary, she was the one who raised us."

"What about your mom?"

I felt a piercing pain deep inside me as I pictured my mother out here on this very beach and then I shook my head, swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat. "She left us when I was about ten. We haven't heard from her since." I turned and met Jasper's eyes. "I guess it's kind of obvious what I'm running from, huh?"

Jasper offered a comforting half-smile and despite myself, I returned it. He leaned back on his elbows in the sand. "What's your favorite memory?"

The question was just so random that I found myself laughing. I was discovering that Jasper rarely did the expected and found that I was always getting caught off guard by him in the most unexplainable ways. His lazy smile grew and he nudged his knee against mine, sending a shiver of goose bumps up my bare leg.

"Come on Erin, you're favorite memory," he cajoled, continuing to knock his leg into mine until I answered. I smiled down at him as a million different memories flashed through me-- winning the spelling bee when I was twelve, getting voted student council president two years straight in high school, getting my scholarship to college.

But I ended up telling him something I hadn't really thought about in years.

"When I was around eleven, about a year after my mom left, we were celebrating Lexi's birthday, just the three of us because my dad was at work. Lexi was still young and I think it hit her at that very moment when Mary brought out the cake that our mom really wasn't coming back. She broke down into tears."

I saw the corners of Jasper's mouth turn down and knew he was wondering how this could possibly be my most favorite memory. I knew it didn't start out well. Lexi absolutely threw a fit that night and Mary and I barely could get her to calm down, especially since we were dealing with the same pain and unanswered questions ourselves.

"Lexi got all worked up and was flailing her little arms around. She hit the plate with the cake on it and knocked it from Mary's hand. The whole thing went sliding down the front of Mary's shirt, and I remember Lexi just froze. I think she was afraid of what Mary might do. I was too. If it were mom or dad, we would've been punished, but it was Mary raising us now.

Real slowly, she slipped her hand across the front of her shirt and peeled off the cake. Without even missing a beat, she turned and smashed it into my face. And I'm just standing there, totally stunned with this chocolaty-frosting dripping off of my face, and Lexi bursts out laughing. So I grab a hand full of cake and lob it at her?" I start laughing.

"The next thing you know the three of us are screaming and giggling and throwing cake around the kitchen. It was an absolute mess. We found icing stuck to things for months after, but it's one of my best memories. The three of us-- we were just girls, sisters. Everything else, all of the other crap going on, it didn't exist in that moment."

Jasper was staring up at me and I saw my reflection in his clear blue eyes and turned away. I probably shouldn't have gotten so deep. I probably should have gone with getting the scholarship; that would've been a more appropriate answer. I didn't know why this guy had me questioning everything that came out of my mouth, but it was it irritated me to no end.

"Do you wanna know mine?" he asked me. I looked back over at him and nodded my head; I couldn't help myself, I did want to know. He smiled and then looked back out at the water.

"My grandfather, he was the one who taught me to play the guitar. Every summer at 3:30 he'd take me here to the beach and he'd show me how to hold my hands and teach me the chords. I wasn't a very fast learner." He laughed at the memory but still stared out at the ocean. "But he was a patient man. I still miss him every day. That's why I come out here."

I felt guilty. Hearing the story about his grandfather, understanding why he came here to play the guitar... I was an awful person. I pulled my gaze from him and looked over my shoulder, wondering if I should just go. I think Jasper somehow sensed my internal debate because he let out a low laugh and knocked his leg into mine again.

"Enough of this serious stuff! You wanna get out of here and go get a coffee or something?"

I was honestly shocked that he was asking. I wasn't sure what Jasper thought of me, and didn't understand his intentions. I hadn't given off a very good first impression. Or second, come to think of it.

"Why?" I questioned suspiciously.

"Because." He stood up, brushing the sand off the back of his shorts and then offered his hand down to me. "You are the most interesting person I've talked to in a damn long time and," his eyes swept down my legs and then back up again, "you happen to look mighty fine in a pair of shorts."

I dropped my eyes from him, but placed my hand in his. I let him guide me up from the shore, through the sand, and past the reeds to the main road. I felt like I was somebody else. This wasn't Erin. This wasn't how I acted. But the horrible thing was that I was more comfortable than I ever had been, and Jasper was a huge part of the reason why.