LEXI

Everyone was tense and lost in their own issues when we started packing up dad's things. It had been days locked inside, and I almost couldn't stand it any longer. Mary was all withdrawn, Erin was walking around with this permanent perplexed expression on her face, and I couldn't stop be reminded of Will. It was driving me nuts.

After closing up yet another box, I threw myself down on the sofa. "I need a break!" I groaned. I heard Mary behind me and scrambled up onto my knees and leaned over the back of the sofa to face her.

"Mary, you wanna go do something? Get a drink maybe? We've been stuck in this house for days and I'm going stir crazy!" I locked my hands together in front of me, pleading with her to say yes. It'd been three days of constant packing, meeting with lawyers, heating up casseroles, and sorting through dad's things. It had been a nightmare. I felt fidgety and I didn't do well being cooped up.

Mary looked up at me and laughed. "How are you going to go get a drink? You aren't even twenty-one."

I pushed myself up from the sofa and rushed around it, dropping down onto my knees by her side. "I've been bartending. I managed to grab one or two fakes that are pretty accurate. Come on Mary! Please say you'll go with me!"

She was hesitating, but then her eyes fell down to the stack of papers spread out on the floor in front of her and I watched her gaze move up towards the boxes around her and her shoulders sag. "Okay. Fine! I'll go with you. I could stand getting out of this place for a little while too."

I bounced up, grabbing her hand and pulling her with me. "Awesome." I smacked her butt, guiding her towards the stairs. "Now go get ready. And dress up for god's sake! We're going dancing!"

"Where are we going?" Erin asked, turning the corner as she sorted through a stack of mail in her hands.

"Out and you're coming."

"No I'm not."

"God Erin!" I rolled my eyes, knowing that there was no use in arguing with her. "You're so predictable!"

"I am not predictable!" She snarled, snapping the mail down against her thigh and looking over at me full of determination. "You wanna go out Lexi? Fine. We'll go out." She pushed past me and stormed up the stairs, leaving me in her wake staring up at her, totally baffled. Something was going on with Erin. I wasn't sure what it was, but I kind of liked it.

Two hours later, the three of us were dressed to the nines and sitting in a velvet booth at Tonic, the one and only club in our small beach town. I looked over at Erin, surprised to see her ask the cocktail waitress for another drink, but everything Erin was doing was surprising me tonight, from agreeing to come along, to wearing Mary's white short shorts and my dark blue halter top, even to doing two rounds of shots with us. This wasn't typical Erin behavior, and for the first time in a while I was actually enjoying hanging out with both of my sisters.

"You've got to call him," Erin told Mary as she popped the olive out of her martini into her mouth. "You need to deal with things one way or the other, make some decisions about what you want to do next."

"What do you mean 'one way or the other'?" I questioned. "Matt cheated on her. There is no going back from that. Mary deserves better." I put my hand over my eldest sister's and squeezed. She looked over at me with appreciation but I could also see the indecision in her eyes. Maybe things weren't so cut and dry for Mary.

"Let's not talk about this," she suggested, sliding her mojito closer to her a dating a small sip. "I wanna have a good time tonight. I don't want to think about Matt, or what I'm going to do next, or any of it. I just want to drink, and dance, and have fun with you guys. Got it?"

"Sounds good to me." I smiled and raised my glass up. Mary grinned and lifted hers right before Erin did the same. "To having a good time," I toasted as we all clinked our drinks together.

And we did have a good time. For the next two hours we drank, laughed, and danced. I hadn't had this much fun with the two of them...well, ever. And Erin was in rare form. I had to cut her off by her fifth drink, but I had my suspicions that she was sneaking them when I wasn't looking because when the bartender asked her to get up on the bar with some other girls to dance, she only hesitated a second before doing it. It was the wildest thing I'd ever witnessed her do and she pleaded with me to join her but I shook my head; she was on her own tonight. Plus, I had a feeling my bar dancing days were over in this town.

I scanned the place for Mary, hoping that she was seeing this, but she hadn't returned from the bathroom yet. So I pulled my phone out of the pocket of my black pants and snapped a picture. I needed evidence for later. Lord knows if I'd ever get a repeat performance of this. I looked down at my phone, smiling at the picture. Erin's arms were up in the air, waving to the song, but she was sticking her tongue out at me. I shoved the phone back in my pocket and reached out for my beer. As soon as I looked up I noticed Will standing there across the bar, and it was like everything else in the room melted away.

He wasn't staring up at Erin like anyone who had known her her whole life should be doing; instead he was staring back at me. I watched him pick up his beer and turn his body into the crowd. At first I thought he was leaving and let out a small sigh of relief, but then I noticed him curve in my direction. My body tensed and my heart plummeted. I couldn't do this with him, not with my sisters here.

I hugged my beer to my chest and turned into the crowd behind me, hoping to duck out of here before he could get to me. I dipped in between the people around me and slunk over to the edge of the dance floor. I knew I was being stupid. I mean how much longer could I keep avoiding him? Eventually we'd have to talk. But some part of me was holding out hope that I could make it through the rest of the week without subjecting myself to that awkward conversation. It'd just be better for everyone.

I walked backwards, searching the crowd, hoping to pick him out in the distance so I'd know where to steer clear of, when I smacked into something hard behind me. The wind got knocked out of my lungs and my beer went spilling over the side of my hand.

"Shit," I grumbled, before shaking my hand out and turning around to apologize. But I was struck dumb when I saw Will standing there.

"You're running from me." He spoke loudly so that he could be heard over the music and I tore my eyes away from him. What could I say? He was right. I was avoiding him and he caught me, there were no excuses that I could give.

"Will, we can't do this right now. Erin's drunk. I don't know where Mary is, and I've been drinking too. This isn't a good idea."

Understanding washed over his face as his eyes flicked back over to Erin still up on the bar. He nodded and his mouth curled up into a smile, but he didn't go to her like I thought he would. Instead he reached out and took me by the wrist, pulling me close to him. He wrapped his thick arms around my waist he held me against his body.

"No talking," he whispered in my ear, slowly beginning to sway with me on the edge of the dance-floor. "Just one dance."

The music wasn't really appropriate for slow dancing, but there was a heavy, throbbing bass line that thumped throughout the entire song. Will had us moving in time with it. His leg slipped in between mine and my pelvis was pressed up against him. I could feel everything. It was slow. It was deliberate. And it was sexy as hell.

Before I knew what I was doing I was curling my arms up around his neck and leaning into him, wanting more. I forgot that we were in our home town and who I was here. I forgot that we were in the middle of a club, and I forgot that my sisters were here and what that meant. For a moment it was just Will and me, and everything about it felt right.

"Lexi Callaghan!"

I froze. Every hair on my body prickled to life as the voice I still sometimes heard in my nightmares crept over me. Will felt the change, the stiffening of my body, the stall in my steps, and pulled his head back, checking to see if I was okay.

I can only imagine what I must've looked like. There was no way my skin hadn't gone pale. There was no way the horror that rippled through me wasn't clear as day on my face. I could see Will's mouth moving but I couldn't hear him, a buzzing sound rang out in my ears and all I could focus on was the guy behind Will's shoulder strutting up towards me with a cocky grin on his beefy face. I'd heard he'd left town. He wasn't supposed to be here.

I pushed back from Will, stumbling over my heeled boot but keeping my eyes glued on the other guy. He had changed since high school but I'd still know him anywhere. His name was Mark Stuben and he was in Erin's class. He was the guy who didn't go to college but still hung around throwing parties at his house and supplying the booze. He was an enormous part of my life and I hated him for it.

The winter of my junior year I was at a turning point. I'd got tangled up with a wild crowd in high school and at sixteen, had hooked up with my fair share of guys. I had only slept with two of them. One I thought I liked, but he ended up using me, and the other was a drunken mistake that I hardly remembered. I was on the verge of getting a reputation and was aware that soon, I'd either have to change things, or commit to this path.

So that night at Mark's party, I wasn't really in the mood to be there. But some of my friends really wanted to go and I ended up getting talked into it. Sometime around eleven I lost track of my friends, and I was contemplating how I was going to get home when I ran into a girl I knew from Math. She was hanging out with Mark and some of his buddies and we all started talking. Mark offered me a drink and I didn't see any harm in it, so I took it. After I finished that first drink, he offered me another and I accepted that too.

I don't remember anything after that; the rest of the night was a blur.

The next thing I knew I was waking up on a strange bed in a dark, unfamiliar room. I was naked and my clothes were tossed into a pile on the floor. I knew from the way my body felt that I had had sex. I flew into panic mode and scrambled up from the mattress, but a wave of dizziness hit me as soon as my feet touched the floor. My heart was hammering and my head was pounding. I held onto the bed fearing I'd fall over if I didn't, but some instinctual part of me knew that I had to get out of there.

I stumbled towards the door, crashing into a desk and bruising my hip as I attempted to walk. The world felt fuzzy and I remember leaning over and hurling all over the carpet. I straightened up, wiping my mouth off with the back of my hand and holding onto the desk for support while I tried to catch my breath. With shaky hands I bent down and slid my miniskirt up over my hips. I didn't know where my underwear was and I didn't both looking for it. I pulled my halter top down over my naked chest and held my shoes in my hands while I edged towards the door. I pulled it open and tiptoed down the hall, recognizing Mark's house, but I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. The music was still blasting and I could hear tons of voices downstairs. I gripped the bannister and slowly worked my way down the stairs as the world stayed fuzzy around me. 

The party was still going on but had died down. I ducked my head and slid through everyone as I headed for the front door undetected. As soon as I got outside I started walking as quickly as possible on my trembling legs. I had to get some distance. I had to get out of there.

"Lexi, what's wrong?" Will shouted over the music, bringing me back from the past. I looked up and searched his face, but all I could picture was that night. His dark eyebrows drew up and he was staring at me with concern just like he did that night. My eyes strayed back over his shoulder to Mark who was still heading my way with an arrogant smirk. I felt like my present was about to collide with my past and I couldn't let that happen.

I did the only thing I could. I spun on my heels and pushed my way through the crowd, moving quickly, and not giving anyone time to follow me. I left my sisters behind. I left Will behind. I left fucking Mark Stuben behind. I took off, because that's what I do. When it gets to be too much, I get the hell out of there.

Author's Note:

So we're learning a little bit more about each of the sisters and the issues that they've been dealing with, mostly on their own, up to this point. Mary had a confrontation with Matt, but nothing was resolved. I wonder if she's avoiding it because she's dealing with her father's death, or if she's using his death as an excuse.

I really loved the scene between Erin and Jasper. I love how she assumes things about him, I love how snobby she is, and I love how much he seems to get under her skin. Erin could stand a little shaking up.

And then there's Lexi. She's dealing with the most, a secret she hasn't even shared with her sisters. I hope learning this shed some insight into who she is and what's shaped her. I had this idea in mind for Lexi when I started writing the book and when some readers were calling her out right off the bat, I desperately wanted to defend her. Hopefully now she's shaping into a more well-rounded character and you can begin to understand her motivations a bit more.

If you're a reader of my other work, The Restoration will be updated on Sunday/Monday and Then & Now will be updated on Friday. I've got a bunch of reading for you guys so I hope you're prepared for it!