LEXI

As soon as the screen door slammed shut behind Erin I let out a sigh of relief. I was afraid she was going to push for more, demand some answers about last night. I knew it was shitty of me to just leave the two of them there at the club, but I didn't have any choice. I both deserved and expected Erin's wrath but was honestly grateful when it never came.

I didn't tell her where I really spent the rest of last night. Instead I made up some bullshit excuse about hooking up with some guy from high school. It was the same story I fed Mary this morning when I apologized to her. I made it up because I knew they'd believe it, but it wasn't the truth. I never ran into any friends last night. There was no other party that I went to. And the only guy from high school that I saw had me so terrified that I hightailed it out of the club and sat by myself at the beach until sunrise.

It was a relief when my sisters bought the lie. The lie was so much easier to handle than the truth; it always had been. And the sad truth was that I couldn't stay here any longer. I had to leave. All I had to do was come up with a lie that Mary and Erin would believe.

I put my coffee cup in the sink and turned to head up the stairs to pack. I had only gotten a few items into my bag when I looked up and saw Will leaning against my bedroom door. I jumped, clutching at my heart and letting out a startled shriek.

"Jesus Will! You just about gave me a heart attack." I let out a ragged breath as my brain caught up with my senses and I shifted uneasily on my feet. I hadn't seen Will since I bailed last night, and him turning up here made me think he wanted an explanation.

But I didn't have one to give him.

Over the years Will had developed the habit of just walking into our house, but usually that was to see Erin. He had never been inside my room before and it suddenly felt too small. His eyes flicked over to the bag on my bed and his expression changed.

"Going somewhere?" he bristled, stepping further into my room and fingering the bag on the bed. Guiltily, I pulled my gaze away from him but didn't answer; I hadn't had time to come up with a viable excuse yet, and I knew Will would see through any bullshit lie I threw at him. So I just kept my mouth closed.

"Is it true then?" His eyes were dark and his body was coiled with uncharacteristic anger. I shuffled back; not understanding what he was asking, but knowing that it couldn't be good by the expression he wore.

"Is what true?"

"I talked to Mary this morning. I asked her where you ran off to last night and she said you hooked up with some guy from high school." He edged closer to me and confusion filled my face as I stared up at him. "Is. It. True."

I didn't understand why he was so upset. If anything he should be relieved. This let him off the hook. He didn't have to worry about hurting me; he could walk away guilt-free now. I pushed my shoulders back and flared up at him, hating the idea that he thought so little of me that he'd believe it, but reminding myself to be thankful that he did. This was our way out of this awkward mess.

"So what if I did?" I challenged, stepping forward and getting into his space. "Why do you even care Will?"

His eyes grew and then narrowed in again, honing in on me and focusing with such intensity that I found myself looking away. "I care about you Lexi."

As a friend, I reminded myself. Will cared about me as Erin's little sister, someone he's known for years, nothing more. I shook my head.

"Don't Will. Don't care about me. Don't worry about me. Don't bother with me. I'm fine." I turned towards my dresser but he stopped me. Reaching out, he took hold of my arm and tugged me back towards him. My whole body froze the moment it landed against his. My skin came alive and my breath hitched in my throat. He lifted his hand and drew it along my cheek, resting it just underneath my chin and pulling my face up towards his.

"You don't seem fine Lexi."

I squirmed out of his hold, uncomfortable with how he was examining me and afraid of exactly what he saw. "I am!" I shouted. "And you don't have to worry about anything. I'm not going to say anything to Erin--" He charged up to me, stopping just mere millimeters away and I drew in my breath at the suddenness of it.

"Are you really so blind that you think that's what this is all about? That I just care about how Erin's going to take all this?" He shook his head in frustrated bewilderment.

"You can't actually expect me to believe that you don't have feelings for her Will."

His chest rose and fell against mine as he took in a deep breath, trying to gather his emotions. I knew that I was pushing him, but that's what I did. I pushed. And right then I was freaking out so I reverted to what I knew.

"Erin and I have been friends since we were 10 years old," Will reminds me. "I'm not going to stand here and lie to you and say that the thought never crossed my mind in eleven years. I am a guy for Christ's sake. But it never happened. I know what people think and I don't care. Shit, even my own mom thought I was pining away for Erin all these years, but it isn't like that between us. She's my friend and that's all. It's never been anything more. It's impossible for me to convince you that something that doesn't exist isn't even real."

He slid an arm around my back and my body stiffened as a deep desire throbbed through me. I fought my impulse to pull away; it's what I usually did when I felt someone getting too close. But this was Will. He wasn't the same as everyone else.

"Do you think I would have ever slept with you if I was in love with Erin?" he asked, leaning his head in closer and resting his forehead against mine. "Drunk or not, do you think I would do that?"

His lips were just inches away from mine and my body was raging, battling against the urge to wrap my arms around him, and the instinct demanding that I push him away. "People do stupid things all the time when they're drunk," I told him, managing to meet his gaze without folding.

He knocked his body flush up against mine and pressed my back into the wall behind me. Sucking in a surprised breath, I was sure he could feel my heart pounding strongly against his chest. Fear and lust ravaged their way through me and I trembled beneath him, remembering what it felt like when we were together, and hating myself for wanting to experience it again.

"I wasn't that drunk," he growled into my ear. My lips moistened as his breath brushed against my skin. "Were you?" I didn't answer so he skimmed his lips over my neck and asked again. "Were you drunk Lexi?"

His body moved against mine and I could feel how hard he was beneath his shorts. My eyes fluttered closed and my head fell to the side, giving him complete access to my neck. His kissed my skin, nipping at my flesh as his fingers curled into my hair.

"No," I moaned out in a whisper. "I wasn't that drunk."

His mouth moved its way up and he laid a light kiss just beneath my ear. "And the guy from last night?" he asked.

I could hardly concentrate on his words as his mouth continued over my neck. I found myself admitting things that I shouldn't. "There was no guy," I gasped dreamily.

Will continued to kiss me. In fact, hearing my admission about last night seemed to give him a new wind. His mouth worked its way over to mine and his tongue delved in, awakening my body, and rooting me to the spot. I wasn't pushing anymore; I was pulling, tugging Will against me and losing myself in him yet again. It was just so easy.

He held my face still and then slowly dropped one hand, sliding it down my throat, and grazing a finger over my clavicle. He barely skimmed my breast but my nipples were already hardening. I bent myself into him, whispering his name and his large hand dipped underneath the hem of my tank top. I closed my eyes, not believing that I was allowing this to happen again, knowing I'd only end up getting hurt, or worse, hurting him. Yet, I still helped him lift my shirt over my head. My heart was pounding in my chest but I felt alive. No high I'd ever chased compared to this right here.

I watched as his gaze dipped down and he took me in, standing there in just my bra and jeans. His chest swelled up and his eyes grew wider as he spread his hands around my rib cage and over my back, pulling me back to him. "You're fucking perfect," he growled into my mouth.

And that's when I fully gave in-- to the taste of his lips, to the rhythm of his tongue, to the safety I felt with his hands on my body. I forgot that we were in my house. I forgot that my sisters could return at any moment. I forgot about my walls. All I thought about was Will and how much I needed him right then.

He wasn't drunk. I wasn't drunk. There were no excuses to fall back on this time. I knew there'd be consequences, but suddenly didn't care. I had never experienced anything like this before and I desperately wanted to.

I grabbed the hem of Will's shirt and pulled it over his head as he slipped his arms through the sleeves and tossed it to the side. Grabbing the waist of my jeans, he guided me towards the bed, unbuttoning them as we walked. I stepped onto one of the pant cuffs and slid the material down over my waist.

Chills broke out over my body as I stood there before him in nothing but a black thong but Will's eyes warmed me as he gazed over at me with reverence. He placed his legs in between mine and pressed his bare chest against me. I could feel each defined muscle and ran my hands across his wide back. His mouth was on my neck, kissing the spot where it met my shoulder and making me release a breathy moan.

I reached down between us, fumbling for the button on his shorts, and then pushed them down his strong thighs. Will is standing there in front of me in nothing but his boxer briefs and everything feels surreal. This isn't supposed to be happening. I pressed my hands against his chest and leaned in, when he suddenly spun me around and laid me down on my bed in a fit of giggles

He held his weight over me, resting on his elbows as he gazed down at my face. "I want his Lexi." His hand trailed up my bare stomach creating fireworks across my skin. "I've wanted this for a very long time." Cupping my breast he let his thumb rub over my nipple and I let out a small gasp as my body started to writhe beneath him. "But no more about this shit with Erin." He lowered his mouth to my skin and I trembled as he took me in his mouth. "It's you I want Lexi. Don't question it. It feels right."

And he wasn't wrong; it did feel right. For some reason I just melted into his touch. I didn't freeze up or turn myself off as I had so many times before. I'd been broken for what felt like forever, but Will made me want to let him in. He was the least scary person I knew but the thought of that alone terrified me.

But I did want him. I wanted him so badly. I wanted to feel him inside me. I wanted to hold him close. I wanted it to never end.

Arching my body up, he took my nipple into his mouth through the material of my bra, biting down on it with just the right amount of force that my toes curled beneath me. Will kissed his way up my neck as I haphazardly pushed his boxers down, almost frantic with the need. This wasn't like me. Everything was wrong.

He pinned my hands up over my head and began working his way down my exposed skin while I squirmed with pleasure beneath him. I pressed my body up into his, silently pleading for more of him. For the first time I wanted it. I needed it to happen. Normally it wasn't like this. Normally I shut off. But I was here. I was present in this moment with Will and I didn't want to be anywhere else.

He ran his tongue along the edge of my thong, right across my lower belly. "Jesus," I breathed, unable to stand the exquisite torture any longer. My eyes rolled back in my head as I remembered his skills from the last time we were together.

Will slipped two fingers underneath the elastic and slid the thong down my legs before peeling it off my feet and dropping it to the floor. He leaned back over me with a wicked glint in his eyes before slowly kissing his way back up my inner thigh. I ran my hand over his scratchy jaw, my body pulsing and yearning for this, for him. He slowly worked his way up my sensitive flesh, tantalizing me, reeling me in, and driving me wild with desire.

I remember thinking that there was no way it could possibly always be like this. Will might want me right now, for some reason we seemed to click physically better than I ever imagined, but he didn't know what he was getting into long term. I was a mess.

Damaged.

But despite the fact that I knew I'd only hurt him, I couldn't say no to this. I wanted to know what it would've felt like if everything had been different, if I was just a girl and the boy next door was really capable of loving me.

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

I just wanted to thank you guys for reading. I'm really getting into writing this story right now-- just ask my husband and kids who are hardly speaking to me anymore because I've been ignoring them so much! But I can't help it. I'm really drawn to this one right now and am feeling myself get pulled into the characters. Jesus I hope you are too! Lol!

I'm curious to hear your thoughts as always. This is the first book I've published on wattpad that hasn't had a beta reader before hand, so I'm kind of flying by the seat of my pants and hoping that you all will do that job by giving me feedback here. I'm interested to know the story you're drawn to the most, what's working for you, what isn't.

I'm trying to keep on top of things so hopefully you'll be getting a new set of chapters next Wednesday. If you're reading Then & Now you can expect an update on Friday and if you're waiting on new chapters of The Revivial, they'll be up on Sunday/Monday. See you guys here next week! And please don't forget to vote on all of the chapters-- it really helps out!