CHAPTER NINE
the question

THE BITTERNESS OF A HANGOVER WAS NOT THE MOST PLEASANT THING TO WAKE UP TO AT 9AM. Finnick suppressed the urge to audibly groan as the sunlight blared through the curtains. His headache, his mouth parched, and his eyes blurry, it was this excruciating combination that he knew as being hungover. He rubbed his eyes, yawning as a pit of anxiety flooded his entire body as he realised he did not recognise the room he was in. His entire body went cold, his throat dying up even more until he finally recognised the picture frames as the old family photos Eleanor always had up. The same ones she had in her old bedroom, the bedroom down in the Quay: a simple photo of her and her father down the docks, a much younger Eleanor perched on her father's shoulders. In another, was a photo of Sue and Eleanor collecting shells, the two not even looking up as the photo was taken. The still image completely trapped in that mundane period of time that Eleanor must have cherished more than she liked to say.

Eleanor never did tell Finnick the stories of the photos, though he could only assume how painful the memories had gotten over the years, after everything that has happened.

Finnick's body relaxed. He laid his head back on the pillow, his body sinking into the foam mattress. It was comfortable, the most comfortable Finnick had ever been waking up in a long while. He tilted his head to the side, seeing a glass of water and two paracetamols sat on the bedside table. He pushed himself up with his elbows, relying on the headboard to support his back as he took the glass into his grip and began drinking. There was no instant remedy for hangovers here in 4, but Finnick preferred it that way.

As he finished drinking, a small knock came from the door. He replied immediately and the door opened, revealing a bright and cheery Eleanor carrying a tray of breakfast and yet another glass of water. A smile found its way on his face from how contagious Eleanor's was. She was dressed in a simple brown pinafore dress, styled with a puffy sleeved shirt underneath. The loud tapping of her black Mary Janes sounded on the tiled floors, making Finnick's head ache slightly.

"Morning." He greeted her, though Eleanor immediately let out a loud laugh.

"It's way past morning." Finnick swore the clock said 9am.

"What time is it then?"

Eleanor sat down on the bed, setting the tray down on Finnick's lap. Her hair was neatly braided to the side, small fly aways prominent against her skin. Finnick thought she looked beautiful "One in the afternoon." Eleanor cracked a smile.

He could feel his eyes bulge out of his skull. His mouth went agar. "What?" Eleanor let out a loud snort, a hand quickly fastened over her mouth as she began hysterically laughing. "Nel?"

"You remember nothing from last night, do you?" She gave him a coy grin, probably relishing in the way his face dropped. Before Finnick could even reply, Eleanor spoke up, her voice humming from a small chuckle. "Nothing bad, you just got a bit too drunk."

Finnick scratched the back of his head with a groan. "How much did I even drink?" He watched as Eleanor's eyebrows furrowed together, as though she was working it out herself, and before she could even speak up, Finnick interjected. "Do I want to know?"

"No, you really don't." Eleanor replied, shrugging nonchalantly. Her instant reply confused Finnick, but he knew better than to persist. Finnick gave her a thumbs up, reaching to the plate and grabbing some toast. He took a bit of it, swishing it down with a large gulp of water. "Wanna meet up with Annie today?"

"She's not hung over?"

Eleanor shrugged. "No clue, though she'll probably be down Laos Bay." She moved to the window, opening the curtains with a grin on her face (much to Finnick's dismay). The boy covered his eyes tightly, groaning as he covered his eyes with his hands. Eleanor laughed, music to Finnick's ears, turning her back to him as she opened the window. The breeze from the afternoon seeping into the room. She turned around, crossing her arms. "Be ready in thirty, we're going to Laos."

"Fine." Finnick couldn't get rid of the smile on his face.

Eleanor gave a sigh as she spat out the left over toothpaste, looking into the mirror. She placed her toothbrush down, her hand moving to rub her eyes. The veins in her face were still prominent, much to her complete despair, despite the promise that they'd eventually vanish. Eleanor could've laughed at the fact her face still remained the exact same, just less bruised and tender to touch. She ran a hand on the vein protruding from her eye, moving it down gently towards her jaw.

"You ought to be vain with the way you look at yourself all the time," Eleanor jumped as she turned and saw her mother standing at her doorway. She placed a hand on her chest, breathing in quickly. "Sorry, forget you sometimes still act like you're in that death game."

Eleanor gave Sue a thin lipped smile. "Yeah..." she took another deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment. She inhaled, images she tried forgetting so hard flashing for a moment. Her eyes stayed shut and she let out a shattered breathe. "Sorry, give me a moment."

"Yeah, yeah, take all the time in the world, sweetheart," Eleanor gave her mother yet another smile, the same old smile she always recycled and reused. She screwed the cap back on the toothpaste, placing it back in the cupholder alongside her toothbrush. "Finnick stayed over, yeah?"

Eleanor hummed, grabbing a spray bottle and wetting her hair. She ran a hand through her curls, making sure it was knot free.

"Did you two sleep together?"

That comment took Eleanor off-guard. "What?"

Sue chuckled. "You heard me, sweetheart. Did you, or did you not sleep with him? He was in your bed, you both got drunk at that bar."

"Ma, Annie was there too. I don't see you asking if I did things with her." Eleanor crossed her arms over her chest, breathing in heavily. She looked at her mother and saw the firm look on her face, knowing that Sue was not in mood for jokes. It made Eleanor shuffle nervously. "No, Ma, I didn't sleep with him. At the end of the night, he was too drunk. I didn't want him alone, so he took my bed and I just slept on the couch."

"Heard some gossip this morning when I was down Rossetti's. People were saying they saw you and Finnick together," Sue's eyes stared into Eleanor's. They were more cold than usual, more stoic. Eleanor could feel her muscles tense, her heart pounding in her chest. Her hands shook, but she brought a hair brush to the ends of her hair and gently brushed. Hopefully, that would take her mind away from the sudden tension in the room. "You know what he does, don't you?"

Eleanor frowned. "What?"

"He's a..." Sue hesitated. "Well, there are rumours going around. That boy..." She laughed, shaking her head with a cold, bitter smile. "Well, lets just say he ain't clean."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Eleanor scoffed, putting the hairbrush down. She brushed the stray of hair behind her ear, shaking her head at Sue as she began putting all the toiletries in the cupboard. "Ma, rumours are rumours. I don't give a shit for those things."

Sue frowned, rubbing the palms of her hands together in a repetitive motion. "They probably aren't rumours, after all everyone's been talking about it."

"Then don't talk about it." Eleanor shook her head at her mother, giving a yawn.

Sue snapped. "He's a whore! Eleanor don't be blind!" Eleanor took a step back, clenching her fist that laid to her side. "He's a walking disease and you're having him sleep in my house! This ain't a whore house, we don't house whores."

Eleanor shook her head, wanting to correct her mother more than anything. Finnick wasn't a whore, she never slept with him, and this was her house. She held her tongue, biting down so hard that she swore she could taste the tang of metal in her mouth. "Ma, I'm gonna be out. Down Laos, if you need me." Eleanor moved towards the door, kissing her mother gently on the cheek. Her skin felt like sandpaper, yet coated in light sweat. She inhaled, closing her eyes. "Don't worry about anything, okay?"

Eleanor tried walking past her, only for the woman to reach onto her arm. "You didn't sleep with him?"

Eleanor's jaw tightened and she looked her mother with annoyance. She huffed. "No, Ma, I didn't sleep with Finnick. We did nothing." Eleanor gave a tight lipped smile, clenching her fist slightly. She pried her arm away from her mother, walking down the stairs.

What had people been saying about Finnick? He was no whore, he hadn't even spoken to girls other than Eleanor and Annie before he was a victor. It was a notorious fact that Finnick Odair was terrible when it came to talking to girls. Eleanor could remember the awful times girls at school would try and talk to him and he'd turn red, mouth pressed down like a clamp.

Was this about his popularity in the Capitol? Sure, he was an alleged flirt, but that was all he said she said. Eleanor had no clue, but she couldn't think of that when she saw him waiting in the hallway by her front door.

"You okay? Sounded like you and your Ma had a fight?" Finnick grimaced slightly and all Eleanor could think about was that he heard what her mother had called him. "Is eveything-"

Eleanor cut him off dismissively. "Everything's fine, don't worry." Eleanor placed a hand on his forearm gently, trying her best to ignore the way he flinched. "Come on, Annie's probably waiting."

"Ellie!" Annie quickly got off the ground, dusting her pants as she ran towards Finnick and Eleanor. It was clear that she had been down the docks since the early morning, her eyes were heavy, her red hair tied in a bun. It was clear that the heat was getting to her, beads to sweat littering her skin which was tinged a slight shade of red. Annie immediately jumped on the brunette besides Finnick, encasing her in a hug. "I've missed you!"

"Annie!" Eleanor let out a loud laugh, her arms wrapping tightly around the red haired girl. Annie squeezed Eleanor so tightly that Eleanor felt the natural urge to squeak. She grinned widely. "You saw me yesterday!"

Annie laughed. "I know," She finally let go of Eleanor, turning to Finnick. She squinted her eyes at him before finally laughing and giving him a tight hug. "How the hell are you walking? You were off your head last night!"

Finnick grinned. "Don't remember a single thing, probably how I'm still walking." He scratched the back of his head with a laugh, grinning towards Eleanor.

Annie's eyebrows raised upwards, her mouth parting. "You don't?" She gave Eleanor an equally surprised look, eyes wide. "Do you remember last night?" She raised a brow, crossing her arms over her chest.

Eleanor gave a nervous laugh. "Yeah, I do." She rubbed the underneath of her nose, nodding at Annie as her cheeks grew more pink by the second.

"Wait does he not remember--"

Eleanor cut her off. "No,"

"Remember what?"

Before Annie could even reply, Eleanor cut her off. "Nothing really important." She nudged Annie slightly, giving a nervous chuckle. "Aye?"

Annie's eyebrows crossed together at Eleanor's behaviour, but she nodded. "Right." She slowly replied, eyes drifting from Finnick to Eleanor. Eleanor gave her a look, hoping Annie wouldn't go running her mouth like a madman. "Fancy going down the beach for a bit? Just for a relaxer?"

Finnick's eyebrows furrowed. "Don't you have to help-" He pointed to Annie's family and she naturally understood.

Annie waved him off nonchalantly. "They'll survive."

"No we won't." One of her brother's replied.

"Yes you will," She reached down, grabbing both Finnick and Eleanor's hands and dragging them away. "If ma and pa ask, I needed to sort my bedroom out! Got it!"

"Fine!" Her brother called out, and Eleanor could see him roll his eyes fondly at his sister. It must have been nice to have someone who would always be there, no matter what. A sense of authenticity, something that cannot truly be forged. "Have fun!"

"Enjoy fish gutting!" Annie called back, and with that, they made their way to the beach.

"How is Annie still so cheerful?" Eleanor asked, looking up at Finnick as she laid in his lap, on top of a blanket while Annie was busy fishing through rock pools for any crabs. They would have gone with her, but Eleanor didn't want to be anywhere near the ocean. She wanted to just lay, in some fleeting moment of time, and exist, away from all possibilities.

That and she couldn't deal with being anywhere near the water.

Finnick looked down at Eleanor, lips parted for just a moment. He clearly had no answer, probably searching for it just like Eleanor. There was this pause, filled with unanimous understanding, that none of them knew how Annie could remain so happy despite it all.

Finally, Eleanor decided to speak up again, "Finnick?" He hummed, looking down at her to affirm that he was listening. Eleanor continued. "Do you get nightmares? Still?" He nodded, breathing out slowly. Eleanor began to pick at her nails, not even looking at him. "Do they ever go away?"

He shrugged. "No clue," he swallowed, and Eleanor could only sag. That was not the response she was hoping for. He continued, grabbing her hands gently to pry them away from her nails. "Mags still gets hers, but she said they get better with age... and Viola's said the same..."

"Varun says they never go away."

Finnick looked down at her in confusion. "You've spoken to him?"

Eleanor nodded. "We have lunch together, sometimes, on Sundays." That was true. Since becoming a victor, Eleanor's found a way to Varun Sels daily life, whether that be her greeting him when he went down to the Quay or sometimes visiting to bring him sandwiches. He slowly begun to open up to her, talking about what his life as a victor was like.

"Nightmares won't stop, chicks, so I wouldn't bother praying."

"Just stay far from the Capital and you'll be better off."

"Surprised they've let you slip from their grimy fingers this long."

The summary is, Varun Sels has not got a lot of good things to say about the Capital. But, at least he was talking to Eleanor.

"El, Varun's a notorious pessimis--"

Eleanor sat up. "He's also a victor, Fin," she didn't know why she felt this inexplicable urge to defend Varun, but she did. She brought her arms across her chest, scowling. "And he's right."

"It'll get better."

"Will it?"

Finnick sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Nel," he went silent for a moment, as though to consider what he could possibly say to her in this moment. His eyes fell to the sight of Annie in the water and he finally looked at Eleanor. "Lets swim."

Eleanor slumped. "What? No."

"I know you're afraid."

"Yeah obviously I nearly drown--"

"I'll hold you," Finnick assured, grabbing a hold of Eleanor and hauling her up. She stood up, still shellshocked, while Finnick held onto both her arms. He rubbed circles into her flesh. "Do you trust me?"

"That's stupid to ask."

"Then trust me."

"I do."

UHM- SO HELLO!!!

yes it has been a while and tbh i have no excuse so sorry guys!!!! updates are gonna be a lot slower since i have started university but believe me i will try

but anyways

hope if ur all still here then u enjoyed the chapter!!!

love u all!!