CHAPTER FOUR
nothing

FINNICK ODAIR COULD BARELY HOLD HIMSELF TOGETHER WHEN HE FOUND OUT VIOLA GAVE ELEANOR HIS HOUSE KEY. Of all the people possible, of course Eleanor would be the one to have his key and be his only way of getting in his house after a long few nights in the Capitol. All he wanted to do was wash away the perfume that practically drenched him. He wanted to take off the undone shirt he couldn't bring himself to button up, to wipe away the faint smudge of lipstick on his lips. The phantom of the woman's hand lingered, a bad odour he couldn't seem to get rid of. Maybe if he scrubbed hard enough in the shower, he would feel more himself.

Finnick Odair skipped up the steps to Eleanor's front porch, practically leaping towards the door. "Nel!" Finnick banged on the door louder, his yells desperate. He could barely speak coherently, the buzz of the alcohol he had still in his system. He hadn't drunk that much... at least he didn't think so. He knew his breath smelt like alcohol, like the Capitol. God, why was she not answering?  He just wanted to get home. He just wanted a shower. He just wanted to be clean. He didn't have time to deal with any of this. He opened the letterbox, peering in and seeing the hallway completely dark. He yelled in once more. "Eleanor!"

Eventually, after several rounds of repetitive banging, he heard the hallway light flicker on. He let out a sigh of relief, tears forming in his eyes as he looked up at the dark, moonlit sky. Finally, he was one step closer to that shower. He could already feel the hot water on his skin, burning him alive. He was so excited. Finnick stood back, watching the door with exhausted eyes. The jingle of the door knob was teasing, cruel as he anticipated the reveal as though it was Christmas day. Finally, it opened, revealing Eleanor in long oversized shirt that covered her pyjama shorts. It was a simple oversized blue top, nothing fancy. Not like the clothes that woman wore... not like the clothes he had to remove. Her hair was parted in two french braids, yet somehow strands still fell out in the front of her face. It wasn't messy, not like her hair...

He must have woken Eleanor up. She looked tired.

"Finnick?" Eleanor yawned, a confused look on her face. She was too perky in her voice to have just woken up. There was no way that made sense. Had she been waiting for him this entire time? "How convenient, you're back on a Sunday." She folded her arms over her chest, leaning slightly on the door frame. He studied every aspect of her face, searching for a possibility that she was joking, yet every pathway led him to the conclusion that she was disappointed.

Not mad. Eleanor Eves could never be mad, at least not at Finnick Odair. Yet, disappointment hurt from her. It was the way her face relaxed in the most impossible way possible. There were no lines on her forehead, just a dulled expression on her face that robbed Eleanor of all her light.

Yet she still glowed in the moonlight.

"Eleanor, just give me my house key, Viola said you had them." He grunted out lowly, grinding his teeth ever so slightly from a wave of frustration. "I need-I need to go shower. Just give me my house key."

"Why haven't you been telling me about the fact you're in the Capitol every week?" Eleanor asked him and he wanted to cry. Is that what all of this was about? He just told her that he wanted a shower and all she cared about was where he had been? He needed to be clean... he needed that shower so badly. His ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head. "Finnick, answer me!"

"I don't need to tell you shit!" He snapped, even though he didn't mean to snap. Finnick... he wasn't a bad person, yet why was he reacting this way? He tried not to think about it, after all, he wasn't the person holding his keys hostage for some answers. He was just the boy who needed a boiling hot shower.  "So what? I go to parties and get drunk each week. Ain't no one's business but my own."

Yet, Eleanor persisted. He previously admired her stubbornness, yet now he despised it. Why did she desire answers so late in the night? Couldn't she just give him the keys? "Finnick, I can barely drag you to a party here in 4." Eleanor whispered, shaking her head softly. She breathed in softly, mumbling incoherently under her breath. Finnick couldn't hear a word of what she was saying. "I- you always said you were never interested. That parties made you nauseous... was that a lie?"

"No, Nel, it wasn't! I-"

"Then, why you sneaking off to some parties like some teenager whose parents forbade him from going?" She let out a laugh. Eleanor rubbed under her nose, sniffling. "You've met someone there, haven't you? Some pretty little plastic girl who has mutated her body to look like the latest victor? Funny, you said the only girls you could stand were me and Annie."

A wave of shock flooded Finnick's body, a whirl of heat rushing through his blood.  His jaw clenched, fists tightened, anger seeping through his bones. "Shut it."

"No, Finnick," Eleanor shook her head once more. "If you're seeing some girl, admit it to me right now. I ain't some girl you have on the side. I ain't some girl you can toy with when you're bored, when you can't have the pretty dress women in the Capitol."

"Nothing is going on between us, Eleanor." Finnick harshly remarked. He could feel the bile forming in the pit of his stomach, knowing fully well that what Eleanor and him had wasn't 'nothing'. He wondered if he grinded his teeth away. They stung. "Believe it or not, you aren't the only girl in the world."

"I never said that." Eleanor said, shaking her head.

"Then stop acting like it!" He spat. Eleanor stood a step back, her form faltering. "What I do is not your business. It never will be because we have nothing! Nothing, Eleanor, so stop acting like you are the only person I will ever have eyes for."

Eleanor was silent, her face still for a moment. She watched her own two feet, eyes downcast as tears flooded them. He watched her for a second, all anger evaporating the moment they streamed down her cheeks.

"I'll get your keys." She whispered in defeat, head hung low. She didn't even allow him inside, walking quickly to where he presumed she must have put the keys. With a fast past, she handed him the keys. "Thanks for everything, at least it meant something to me."

She tried closing the door on him, yet his foot jammed its way. "Eleanor, wait-"

"Haven't you said enough?"

"Listen, I'm sorry, I-"

"Never thought I'd figure out your weekly adventures?" She smiled at him, yet this was the most chilling smile Eleanor had ever given him. He faltered, because she was correct. Finnick foolishly hoped Eleanor would remain oblivious behind her cobble stone house. He hoped she'd never notice him disappear, it made all of it so much easier. "It's okay, I get it, I ain't anything."

"Eleanor, don't act like this-"

She shook her head once more, pushing him out into the cold night. Her touch burnt so badly, yet he wanted it more than anything. He felt so dirty, yet she felt so right. He could've cried in that very moment. "At least tell Annie what you're doing. One of us deserves to be something."

"Eleanor-"

She held tightly onto the door, pushing his foot away with her own. "Go back to your house, Finnick. I-- I'm sorry." And with that, she slammed the door in his face, leaving him outside. He watched as her shadow crumbled, the blurred image of Eleanor exposing her violent shakes. Finnick pounded on the door one more time, before shaking his head.

God, he wanted a shower so badly.

Yes, very short chapter. But, it ate and left no crumbs icl. I need finnanor conflict and this is what you guys get.

also met my best friend's boyfriend yesterday?????? the one who legit despises me??????

yeah he bought me drinks so ig i'll tolerate him 🙄🙄🙄🙄 (he's still a dick)

notice eleanor's jealousy peak through in this chapter??? girlie is fr going through an emotional crisis

love you all so much for 165k !!!! legit such a dream to me

i adore each and every one of u