Authors pov

A week and half passed since that day, nothing stoped the world moved on slowly some person also forgot him , some of his workmates come to show their condolences but slowly everything back to normal, but one person remained who's world was stopped from that day,

Naina become more distance after her outburst in the rain she becomes like a living corpse , she barely ate , rarely come out of her room , she would stay in her room and blankly stare the wall or his photo,

" Naina." Her mother called her softly who was sitting on the window sill, she didn't response.

Her mother sighed," your friend Shruti called, she wants to talk with you." Her mother said and put the phone on speaker,

"Hello babe , babe I miss you Soo much...you know Soo much happened in college in your absence, I have bunch of gossiping to do with you...hello.. Naina are you there....hello..." Shruti voice keep talking from the photo but Naina Didn't even glanced at it.

"She isn't responding Shruti ,will call you later." Her mother said and hung up, she looked at her daughter and left the room, her heart was breaking Everytime she looked at her, she wished no mother has to witness something like this ever,

Naina stared at the starless sky , she couldn't believe how one night changed her whole life , how it changed her , the girl who couldn't even stand a small scratch on him is today mourning is death, the guy who was with her from the time she learned to talk ,her first day in school, first day in her college, the guy who was with her in her every step of life who made her creat a small world of them were only both of them existed, is suddenly no longer with her,

(kyun
na bole mose mohan kyun
hain roothe roothe mohan kyun
kaise manaun haye
kaise manaun..

why
why doesn't my beloved speak to me,
why is my beloved angry with me,
how do I console him..
how do I..)

The girl who was heartbroken because they could not stay in same city , who locked herself in her room just because she heard they both have to get separate because of her college and his transfer, is today separated from him for forever,

"Nothing that will ever happen and even if it happens then also you will be there with me to hold my hand."

He promised never left her hand yet today her hand remained empty longing for his hand to her hold but all it could do was clung to his last gift.

"Because wherever Tara will be Arjun will be there with her and wherever Arjun will be Tara would be there with him."

Then where are you Arjun, your Tara is Alone here Naina thought as tears slipped from her eyes ,

"I know I know but you are there nah you will safe me."

Where was he today when she needed him the most , all she wanted was bury herself in his arm and never face the world, where was he when she needed saving from this unbearable pain.

," I was worried for you Soo I made a excuse to leave"

He used to leave just Soo she won't be alone but today he left her all alone. She closed her eyes in pain and opened them , there she saw him standing on her balcony smiling at her, but as blinked he wasn't there anymore.

But sudden shout of her father broke her thoughts, she looked confused her father rarely shouted being a heart patient shouting was strictly restricted for him, she got up from her place and walked out of her room , as she was slowly deceasing the stairs she saw her mother and father in the hall, her father was breathing heavily and her father was trying to calm down,

" No Snigdha how can I calm down , my daughter she is slowly slipping into depression, shutting herself from the world around her if this continues then can you imagine what will happen to her mental health, Snigdha I can't see my daughter like this living like a death person everyday at this rate I will lose her too...." Her father said breathing heavily being a heart patient the happenings of the few days were to much for him to handle, Arjun was not less than a son to him and now Naina to.

Naina stood in the stairs, zooming out from her parents conversation, for a moment guilt consumed her did she become to much selfish in her self mourning that she forgot her parents feelings, they just lost Arjun who was like their son and now seeing their only daughter like a living corpse, her thoughts were broken by her mother scream, she looked towards them and horror filled her seeing her father laying on ground supported by her mother clutching his chest.

Heart attack Alarms bells rang in her head she immediately run to get her phone in her bedroom, she dialed the ambulance and rushed downstairs to her parents , she kneeled down infront of her father and held his hand ," papa everything will be okay, just hold on okay don't...don't leave us...." Naina murmured clutching his other hand.

Soon the ambulance come and her father was carried to Ambulance and rushed to the hospital.

________________

Naina slumped in the wall of the corridor where her father was being treated, she doesn't know what she did that God was punishing her like this first Arjun and now her father , from when your life become this much miserable Naina Naina questioned herself bitterly, she hated her life , hated how it turned out to be , she wished she could go back to her old life where she was irresponsible, immature, where she didn't know what pain is , where there was only happiness, where her Arjun was with her.

She saw her mother sitting in the waiting chair crying silently , she wiped her own tears gulped all her pain and stood towards her, she kneeled in front of her mother and held her two hands ," maa don't worry everything will be alright , papa will be okay, he is a strong person." Naina told her mother squeezing her hand , she gulped her own pain to stay strong for her parents, she ignored her own trauma which she was feeling every moment.

Her mother shook her head with tears," he isn't Naina not anymore, his family was his strength Naina but now that family is scattered in pieces, Arjun he...he..left us...you...you...are ....are... living l.... like a...death... person...how can he be...ok..wh...when..both o...of.. his...strength...is... not...with...with...him.. anymore..." Her mother said crying..

Naina felt more miserable just then she saw the doctor coming out of the room , she stood up and went to the doctor, " doctor how is papa." She asked with fear lurking in her heart.

" He is fine but I would like to talk with you," the doctor said. Naina nodded and they went to his cabin.

"Naina I m treating your father from the time of his first attack and I repeatedly told you people to make sure he doesn't get anymore attacks but unfortunately the unfortunate incident happened in your family and I m really sorry for Arjun." The doctor said sincerely, Naina stifened but nodded gulping, she have to be strong for her parents.

"Naina I know it might be not easy but make sure he is in a stress-free environment, he is in a delicate condition anymore heartbreaks can lead to a consequence you would regret all your life , for heart patient more than medicine a stress-free environment is more necessary please make sure he gets it." The doctor said and Naina nodded biting her trembling lip and blinking her eyes to stop the tears.

At that moment as Naina stepped out of the cabin and looked at her father in oxygen support she promised herself that she won't ever let her emotions infront of her parents, she will break inside but still keep her smile intact,she will return her parents their Naina but she could not ever bring Tara because Tara was only his.

She dialed a number and after few rings the person picked up ," hello.." a sleepy Shruti said from the other side.

Naina took a deep breath and the let the words flow," Shruti it's me Naina.....I need....need your help.......",

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Naina saw her mother expectingly looking at the room her father currently was she walked towards her and placed her hand her mother shoulder ," maa you go home and get freshen up till then i m here," she told her , her mother was surprised seeing Naina normal or talking with her , there wasn't tears in her eyes but calmness.

"No..." Her mother started but she cut her off ,

"Maa please go we are here from night and it's almost morning, you go freshen up after that I will go home for freshing, papa won't like to see us like this." She said lightly smiling.

Her mother was surprised seeing her like this, but then she thought that her father condition may have pulled her out of the trauma thinking this she nodded,

After that day Naina was behaving normally , she went to hospital talked and lightly joked with her father , helped her mother in household work like before, she didn't locked herself in her room anymore nor did she mourned it almost seemed to her parents that she was moving on accepting the reality, sometimes they saw her looking at his picture but she would smile whenever she saw her parents, they thought she accepted the reality but only if they know the she was suffering from the greatest pain.

It's easy to express your emotions but it's dificult to hide them , smiling when all your hear wanted was to cry.

Naina took a deep breath and entered inside her parents room , her mother feed him the the soup. She stretched her lips in a small smile," hey papa, how are you feeling." She asked him.

Her parents looked at her and smiled, they were relieved that slowly their daughter was moving on forgetting him is impossible but accepting the reality is all they wanted but they failed to read her , read the pain behind smile, to look beyond the curtains of fakeness her eyes portrayed.

Sometimes we have to swallow our pain for the happiness of our loves ones , sometimes we have to sacrifice our freedom of expressing our pain because to see them relieved, it's dificult sometimes a punishment but for the sake our loved we have to do it .

"I m fine Naina." Her father said he was relieved to see her slowly coming back to normal, he could not bring Arjun back but losing her would be end of him.

"Did you wanted say something Naina." Her father asked, she could see that Naina to say something

Naina nodded," also I come here to inform you two that tomorrow I m retuning back to Mumbai." She informed them with a casual smile while inside her heart was ripping apart at the thought of going back to Mumbai, you have to do this Naina, you already lost Arjun but now you cannot lose your father Naina said in her mind.

Her parents stifened immediately," but Naina how can you.... that...that...place is filled with...Arjun's.....you.. cannot go.. Naina...you..won't be able to bear the pain." Her mother said and her father nodded.

Naina smiled," I know it will be dificult for me mom but not impossible, Arjun would not be liking me like this, he would be in Soo much pain seeing me behaving like this, I have already missed many classes and the semester is also nearing, I could not safe him while alive maa but at least I could give him peace in afterlife." Naina smiled but her eyes smoke thousands of unsaid words pain.

She wiped a tear while escaped her eye," I have already talked with Shruti , she will receive me from the station, also she will shift in my apartment with me." Naina informed them.

Her parents looked at each other yes they wanted her to go back to her normal life but this early seeing the change they were not sure , but they failed to look past her smile they failed to see the pain her eyes they failed to understand her emotions, they finally decided that sending her away from Kolkata would be best, they nodded at her decision.

______________________

Naina stood on her balcony looking at the city , she knows what she decided is dificult but she could not be selfish, she could not let her parents suffer because of her , she would show them that she is going back to her normal life , she would show them that she is strong , strong enough to cope up with the lose, but only she knows that inside she is crumbled like a flower, there was no soul inside of her it got burned with him only the ashes remained.

She saw him standing beside her wearing that same shirt and jeans he wore on her birthday night, she knows he was only a beautiful part of her imagination but still she decided to live it ," I hope you are happy seeing me Soo mature and tough." She told him her face looked emotionless but her eyes spoke volumes of pain,

He just smiled at her and then he disappeared, Naina closed her eyes as tears slipped from her eyes.

____________

"Take care of yourself, will you be able to handle yourself, you could have at least waited till your father recovered." Her mother said to her worried as they stood outside of their house after biding her father bye.

Her mother was worried for her , she didn't wanted to send her alone in the long one day journey alone specially at the current condition of their emotional state , but she can't go with her because she have to take care of her father , she insisted Naina to send one of her relatives or cousin but she denied immediately.

Naina smiled," don't stop me maa , I have mentally prepared myself if I don't go now I won't be able to later." She told her mom , her mom nodded sighing, she hugged her and bide her good bye.

The cab took her to the station , as she got in the train and sat on her place by the window , the deja Vu hit her hard  , her eyes automatically drifted towards the the entrance hoping he will arrive any minute, but hopes got crushed when we women entered and sat beside her, it was like reality was slapping her again and again.

The Naina who left Mumbai that day didn't know that when she will return she won't have that protecting warm hand around her.She leaned her head against the window seeing the passing scenary as memories of the first day she left Kolkata with Arjun flashed infront of her.

Next morning at Mumbai station

Shruti was waiting for Naina for a hour , she took a leave from college to receive her , when Naina called her few days back she was shocked, but she immediately agreed to help her and she promised herself that she won't leave Naina side because Naina needed her, she might have know Naina for a few months but in those few months Naina become her close friend and she was not the kind of girl to leave her friend side in their misery.

She saw Naina coming out if the train she was shocked, it was nothing like the girl she last meet , Naina was looked like she lost weight, she had dark circles though it looked like she tried to hide them but the long journey wiped her make up, she no longer has those chubby cheeks which Shruti used to pull, her sparkling brown eyes were dull, her face which used to scream a childish aura now speaks maturity.

"This is why I m telling you don't leave my hand."  Naina remembered his words when they were in the heavy crowd of station, she looked at her empty hand I didn't but you did she thought.....

"Naina." 

She come back from her thoughts looking at Shruti she was rushing towards and immediately engulfed her in a hug , her body stiffened but she relaxed and hugged her back.

Shruti broke the hug and looked at her." I missed you Nain and I m sorry I could not be there for you..." Shruti said genuinely.

Naina just smiled and shook her head she started to walk towards the exit with Shruti." Did you packed everything." She asked.

"I only brought my essential things for now will bring the remaining things slowly." She said, she took Naina to the cab which was waiting for them.

After a long drive they reached her apartment, as Naina stepped out it was becoming dificult for her to breathe this place was her and Arjun little heaven, they made their little world here, sometimes a memory is the most beautiful thing and sometimes it's the most painful thing .

"Naina you okay." Shruti asked worried, seeing her lost.

Naina nodded,"yeah let's go." She said walking forward, they entered inside and after reaching their apartment when Naina took out the key to unlock his words rang in her ears

"Off course where will we go , our whole life is here , my office your college, our little heaven."

But he didn't, he return , he left her , they started the journey together but he left her in the middle, you were wrong Arjun you were wrong , my life is not here my life left me somewhere in those ashes in Kolkata, this place is no longer a heaven it's just a place filled with your memories which will torture me all my life, Naina took a shaky breath she as she opened the door, she entered inside the place was just like they left with only some dust here and there ,

"Tara common don't be a lazy ass we have cleaning to do."

His voice rang in her ear, there she saw him with his hands on his hip shaking his head disappointedly looking around, he turned towards her and raised a eyebrow, a small smile come on Naina face but then he disappeared.

Shruti squeezed her shoulder , Naina snapped out, and quickly wiped a fallen tear ," you take that room I will come later to shift my things later." Naina said her voice chocked but her face remained firm, she pointed at the room which was Naina's and headed towards his room.

As she stepped inside the room, it screamed of him , it neatness, his things , their photos hanging on the wall , on his desk. Naina walked towards his desk and caressed his precious laptop, Naina then opened his wardrobe and immediately his scent engulfed her sense , the scent of Arjun soothing and calm.

un bin kate na raina
un bin aave na ik pal chaina
un bin jiyoon to kaise main jiyoon haye
bahe naina bhare more naina jhare more naina
mue naina sune nahi kehna bhare more naina

without him my nights don't pass
without him there is no peace for a moment
without him how do I live..
my eyes flow, my eyes are filled (with tears), my eyes pour,
these damned eyes don't listen to me and get filled (with tears)..

Looking at his clothes her whole body felt heavy , she took out one of his favorite white shirt and breathed in it and then the hell broke loss , she fall on her knees and cried , cried until all the emotions she bottled up inside of from these weak was out , cried until her tears got dried , cried until it reached to him ,cried until she felt numb.

His love come like a blessing and his come like a condemnation

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Only 2-3 chapters left for this story to end , what do you think what will happen .

What does the future holds for our Naina, comment your wild imagination here ..

Words 3400

Love ❤️- Ira