I should be studying and leading a speech choir. But here I am sitting here writing fan fiction simply because I have nothing better to do. TTATT

A m e r i c a vs E n g l a n d

"Oh Arthur," you giggled as you held your British boyfriend's hand.

Arthur smiled as he whispered sweet nothings in your ear. While your best friend glared at him.

"Hey (Name), weren't we going to Comic Con this Saturday," asked Alfred.

"Of course, we are," you confirmed, "why are you asking?"

"Nothing," he flashed a triumphant grin at Arthur, "just making sure."

Arthur frowned.

"Ugh, my fries are gone! Alfred!"

"Hey, don't look at me," Alfred held up his extra large fries.

"Arthur?"

"Sorry, love," he smiled shyly.

"Aw, it's alright," you kissed his cheek, "I'll just get another one. Want me to get you anything else?"

"It's alright."

"I'll go with you (Name)! I needed, uh, 10 more burgers."

"Sure."

You walked to the service counter with Alfred. Quickly, he wrapped an arm around your shoulder and flashed a smug shit-eating smirk at the Brit and mouthed the words "fuck you". Arthur glared at the American with equal venom but as soon as your backs were turned he turned to your cup of soda and added a few drops of something. When you got back, Alfred held a tray with about 15 more burgers and 3 extra large fries.

"If you eat all of that I won't be surprised if you suddenly keel over and die of a heart attack."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, bla, bla, bla," Alfred began eating the burgers at an alarming pace.

You giggled as you sipped on your soda.

"So, love," Arthur began, flashing you a killer smile, "I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me this Saturday, we could go on a walk or anything you'd like."

"Of course Arthur!"

Alfred almost spit out his burger, "wait what!?"

"You heard the lady, we're going out on Saturday."

"B-But (Name)! We were going to Comic Con on Saturday!!!"

"Oh, sorry Alfred," you smiled sadly at the American, "maybe next time~"

Alfred sat down, incredulous, 'no way, (Name) would never blow me off for Iggy Brows, especially if we were headed to Comic Con. Comic Con was sacred....'

The American turned to glare at Arthur suspiciously, all while the Brit smiled innocently at him.

'Maybe (Name) cares about Arthur more,' he thought, however all traces of thst thought disappeared as soon as he noticed a little bottle in Arthur's hands, 'what the?'

"Love, would you mind getting me some ketchup?"

"Of course, I'll be right back," you smiled as you went to get the condiment.

Once he was sure you weren't looking he poured some more of the bottle's contents into your drink.

"What the fuck are you doing," growled Alfred.

"This is why she'll love me and me only and you'll be a third wheel for the rest of your life."

"Have you been poisoning her?" Alfred's eyes suddenly widened as if something in his mind had clicked, "you've been drugging her!!!"

"Well..."

"You twisted son of a bitch! I'm gonna tell (Name) you've been slipping some of your weird voodoo shit in her drinks!!!"

"Go ahead."

Alfred glared at Arthur, in such a way it seemed like a burger began attacking a burnt scone.

"Oh look, Mr. Burger's attacking Mr. Scone, do your best Mr. Scone," you giggled.

"(Name)!!! Iggy Brows has been slipping some weird voodoo shit in your drinks!!!"

. . .

You began to laugh uncontrollably, "that's the best joke I've ever heard you say Alfred!!!"

Arthur began laughing too, "indeed, are you alright Alfred?"

"Wha-" Alfred glanced at the two of you, "what the actual fuck?"

"Let's go (Name)," he held out his hand and you took it without a second thought.

"Bye Alfred~"

Arthur wrapped an arm around your shoulders, he turned to flash the American a smug grin and mouthed the words "fuck you".

"That little-" Alfred slammed his fists on the table and stormed out of the fast food store, but not before going back and grabbing an armful of burgers.

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Alfred rapped his knuckles impatiently at your door.

"Hey, Al! You wanted to play some video games with me? I've got Injustice: Ultimate Edition and Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2."

"We need to talk," began the normally loud American, his usual smile was replaced with a grim line.

"Alfred..."

"This love you feel for Arthur, it isn't real. (Name), he's been using a love potion on you."

"Th-That's absurd! Arthur would never!"

"(Name), this isn't you! Think about it, how many times have you blown me off just to go on a date with Arthur!"

"A couple of times?"

"You've blown me off 538 times!!!!"

"R-Really?"

"Ask anyone, anytime, anywhere, you've changed ever since you started dating Arthur, you've chosen Arthur over everyone!"

"I-I have?"

"Wake up (Name)," he shook you, as if trying to rouse you from a dream.

You blinked and glared at Alfred, "of course, I would choose Arthur over everyone, he's my boyfriend and I love him more than anything in the world!"

"(Name)..."

You pushed Alfred away from you, "I know you don't like Arthur but he's my boyfriend and you're my best friend but if you can't get along with him then I'm sorry!"

"I didn't want to have to do this but you leave me with no choice..."

"Alfred?"

Grabbing you roughly, Alfred took a swig of something from an aluminum flask and pressed his lips against yours. As he pried your mouth open, you took note of the liquid's strong content. Your eyes widened, he was making you drink vodka. Once you had swallowed the alcohol you didn't feel intoxicated, if anything you felt awake.

"What the hell," you glanced at Alfred.

"Apparently, any alcoholic drink can reverse effects of love potions."

"Vodka?"

"Hey, I wanted to make sure it worked, alright?"

"How did you find out?"

"I had to use my Assassin's Creed 3 skills to sneak into Arthur's house and look for antidotes."

"That was unbelievably thoughtful of you."

"Yeah, well, I could take you blowing me off on our movie marathons and video game tournaments but Comic Con, now that's a different story."

You laughed, "come on Alfred, let me get Bob and George* from the closet."

Alfred's eyes twinkled with excitement, "really???"

"We're stopping by Walmart too," you announced as you headed to the closet.

"What are we gonna get?"

"10 rolls of toilet paper, 5 dozen of eggs, and some red paint."

"Really???"

"We're going to slay a dragon."

The American excitedly pumped a fist into the air, "(Nickname)'s back!!!"

"And she's badder than ever."

[*] Bob the baseball bat and George the golf club.

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Arthur's fists clenched as he saw the carnage that was his house. The mail box was beaten to the ground, his house was rolled with toilet paper and egged everywhere. But what pissed him off the most was the red paint. Painted in big bold letters was a love note from you.

WE'RE OVER EYEBROWS!!! XOXO (NAME)

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extended ending:

You cried as Alfred held you in his arms, 2 empty boxes of tissue paper surrounded the two of you.

"I-I just don't understand why he had to use a freaking love potion on me," you sniffled.

"Iggy Brows is a strange being," mused Alfred.

"Am I really that bad a girlfriend," you asked.

"Of course not," Alfred's grip on you tightened.

"You'll never leave me right?"

"Yeah."

"You're a great person Alfred," you smiled warmly at him.

"I would prefer being called the hero," he teased.

"Fine," you laughed, "you're the hero."

"Hey, why don't we watch some movies, I'll heat up the popcorn and you can go pick whatever movie you want."

"Sure," you released yourself from his hug and went to pick some movies. Alfred placed two bags of popcorn in the microwave and watched it turn. When it was done he took one of your favorite cups and filled it with some soda. He checked to see if you were looking, and quickly added a few drops of Arthur's potion in it.

Alfred chuckled quietly to himself, "Iggy Brows really shouldn't leave stuff like this lying around."

He quickly pocketed the potion and headed out with a smile on his face.

"Popcorn's done! I got us some soda too!!!"