When we get back to Cal's house I head straight for the staircase to get to the guest bedroom.

"April has dinner ready in the kitchen," Cal offers. "Why don't you come eat with us?"

"Already ate," I explain quietly while I begin to walk up the stairs. His footsteps sound behind me, and I mumble, "Go eat, Cal. I just want to be alone."

"Emy, what the hell?" He pauses in the middle of the staircase. "I'm just trying to understand. Why are you so upset? The two of you have been so happy. What could have changed so quickly? Theo looked crushed."

A fresh sob rips out of me, and I press my palms into my eyes to try and stop my tears.

"Cal," April calls to him softly from where she's standing at the bottom of the stairs. "Come eat."

Cal chews his lip and his shoulders sag. "You're sure you don't want to talk about it? I'm worried about you, Em."

I nod, desperately hoping that he'll leave me alone for now.

"But—" he tries.

"Cal," April says his name again and holds out a hand toward him when he looks back at her. "You already got your answer."

I can't tell if April is trying to get him to leave me alone for my sake or if her brother has already called her to fill her in on what a bitch I am and she doesn't want Cal to talk to me. Either way, I'm grateful. I continue to the guest room to lose the battle against my tears in private.

When there's a soft knock at the door sometime later, I still haven't finished crying but the sobs are coming further apart and the flurry of tears that were pouring from my eyes have changed to a slow trickle.

"Go away, Cal," I murmur into my hands without looking at him. "I don't want to talk."

A hand lightly touches my shoulder, and I lift my head to see April hovering next to the bed that I'm sitting on.

"Go ahead," I tell her with a sniffle, "Tell me what an idiot I'm being for letting your perfect brother go."

Instead of speaking, she sits down next to me. Her arms wrap around me, and she pulls me into her side, resting her chin lightly on the top of my head.

"It's going to be okay, Emilia," she tells me in a quiet voice. Her hand smooths back my hair and then soothingly rubs my shoulders. "I know it doesn't feel like it now, but it will be."

I can't say that I believe her but as my body begins to shake with a fresh round of full-fledged sobs, I find a small ounce of comfort in her presence.

----------

I crack my eyes open but shut them quickly when the light pouring in from the hallway meets my pupils. There's a warm hand resting against my back. It's too small to be Theo's, though I wish it was his.

The bed shifts slightly behind me, and I turn my head to look over my shoulder. Cal meets my eyes from where he's kneeling on the bed, gathering a sleeping April into his arms. Her hand falls away from my back as he lifts her.

"Sorry," he whispers, not wanting to wake his sleeping wife. "She fell asleep in here. I just came to steal her back. Didn't mean to wake you up." He bites his lip and then explains, "I don't... I can't sleep without her," as if he needs a reason for retrieving his wife from my bed.

I offer him a small smile, though I'm sure it looks as forced as it feels. "Sleeping alone is the worst," I agree.

He nods, but rather than straightening his back and heading for the door, he searches my eyes.

Carefully, he lowers April back down to the mattress. He climbs into the bed behind her and scooches her body closer to mine to make more room for himself. When our eyes meet again over April's head, he whispers, "You're not alone, Em. Go back to sleep."

Tears well up in my eyes, and Cal gives me a sympathetic smile, repeating to me what April had said earlier, "It'll be okay. You'll see."

I nod even though I don't believe Cal any more than I believed his wife. I'm not sure how I'll ever feel okay again... It's not the first time I've felt this way but this time around it all feels more hopeless.

"Mom? Dad?" Emily's voice calls out from the hallway followed by a soft knock against Cal and April's bedroom door.

Cal gives me an apologetic look and then raises his voice just past a whisper to say, "In here, Monster."

Soft feet pad into the room, and Emily crawls up from the foot of the bed, filling the small space between April and I.

April stirs as Emily joins us but once her daughter slips under her arm, and Cal brushes his hand down her side, she falls right back to sleep.

"This woman could sleep through a hurricane lately," Cal chuckles in a quiet voice.

A flicker of a smile curls up the edges of my mouth in my attempt to be polite. Cal frowns and brushes back his hair like he realizes how trivial his comment must be to me, especially today of all days.

I am happy to see them getting along though. I was worried about how Cal would act in light of the news of April's pregnancy, but he still seems as in love with her as ever. I don't know what has all happened or been said behind closed doors, but I'm proud of him for seeming okay with things now.

"You okay, Monster?" Cal asks his daughter while reaching over April to gently touch Emily's cheek.

"Yup," Emily answers. Her eyes are focused on me. Whatever sent her to her parents' room seems to have been long since forgotten now that she's in bed with all of us. Her small hand pats my arm. "It's okay if you're scared."

My exhausted eyes take in her innocent, little face. "Why do you think I'm scared?"

Her shoulders move in a tired shrug. "Dad likes it when we all sleep together when he's scared. And now, we're all in your bed, so..." She runs her hand down my arm to hold my hand. "You don't have to admit it." She covers a yawn with her other hand and snuggles in closer to her mother before adding, "But sometimes it helps."

"Maybe I am," I confess, and Emily smiles contently.

"Doesn't that feel better?" she mumbles sleepily as her eyes close. The world's softest, sweetest snores float through the room a moment later.

Actually, I sort of do feel a little better...

Cal meets my eyes again over his sleeping girls and smiles at me as if he can hear my thoughts. "She's a special kind of magic, eh?"

"She is."

I stare back at his beautiful, stormy-night blues, so thankful that he is here with me—that they all are. But when my eyes grow heavy again and inevitably fall closed, his blue eyes quickly morph into the colour of the rich earth, and it's Theo's presence that I long for.

----------

I wake up in the same bed as my ex-boyfriend's wife with their daughter's hand in mine. I bet that's not something that many people have experienced.

When I release Emily's hand she lets out a quiet grumble. I hold my breath, watching as she stirs, but then she rolls over to face April and tucks her head under her chin. They both remain asleep.

I quietly make my way out of bed and slip out of the bedroom to head downstairs.

My backpack is resting on the bottom step. Its presence makes me freeze in place, and my stomach drops.

How did that get there? Is Theo here now?

I strain to hear his voice but when the house remains quiet I continue my way to the kitchen, unsure of whether it's relief or disappointment that I'm feeling.

He wasted no time packing up my things and getting them out of his home...

Cal is sitting at the kitchen table, reading a book. Or at least, he has a book open in front of him. He's looking across the kitchen, gazing out the window with a pensive look on his face.

When he notices that I've entered the room, he gives me a hesitant smile. It's as if I'm a wounded animal and he's not sure whether or not I'm safe to approach. His eyes search my face, trying to get a read on me. I'm sure he's wondering how I'm doing, and if I'm once again about to break down into tears. He looks a little bit anxious while he tries to figure it out.

Poor guy. No matter how far he's come or how badly he's been trying to be there for me, he's still clearly uncomfortable with big emotions. And while everything seemed good between him and April last night, I have my suspicions that he's not nearly as calm on the inside about the coming baby as he's pretending to be. I've been so busy this past week trying to make a good impression on Wendy and Marv that I haven't even thought to ask Cal how he's doing with it all.

Or maybe that's just the excuse I've been giving myself for why I haven't broached the subject of babies with the would-be father of my failed pregnancy...

"Hey," I greet him, and in trying to make a light conversation I ask, "What's your book about?"

Cal looks down at the book in front of him and a small smile appears on his face when he looks back up at me. "Everything."

When he sees the confused look on my face he smirks and lifts the book to show me the front cover.

It's a Bible.

"Finding all of life's answers?" I question, and try as I might, I can't keep the bit of sarcasm from entering my tone.

"Nah," Cal answers, "Mostly just staring out the window... But I bet I'd find an answer or two if I could manage to focus."

I walk to the table where he's sitting and pull out a chair next to him. "Hey, so..." I take a seat.

Cal pushes the Bible closer to the center of the table and leans back in his chair to give me his full attention. Once again, there's an anxious look on his face, like he's already convinced himself that he's going to fuck up and say the wrong thing while attempting to comfort me.

Rather than launching into the conversation he's expecting, I say, "Thanks for not making a move on April last night while you two were in the same bed as me."

I figured he would realize that I was joking around, but instead, he scowls at me and asks, "What kind of person do you think I am?"

Fuck. I feel rotten for offending him. Even though, if you ask me, it was a fair statement to make after the situations I've caught them in. I open my mouth to apologize but Cal continues.

"I'm not that fucked up, Emy."

My mouth opens again, but snaps shut when Cal adds, "My daughter was with us."

For a second, I just stare at him in disbelief. Does he realize that he just made it sound as if Emily's presence was the only thing that stopped him from making a move on April while I was in bed with them? But then, I notice the small twinkle in his eyes and the way a smirk is pulling at his lips.

"You fucker," I laugh and knock my knuckles against his bicep.

Cal joins in my laughter and stands up when the coffee maker dings. "I'm sorry, I just had to... But I am sorry about those other times. Restraint has never been my forte."

"You, I can understand," I agree, "but I thought April would have a little more class."

"I'm hard to resist," he counters with a little hip shake on his way to the counter, but then a slight frown creases his brows when he looks back at me. "And I'm going to pretend that you didn't just imply that my wife is anything but classy. That first time it just sort of happened. And that time you caught us here in the kitchen... Well, I have a thing for this kitchen."

I roll my eyes at him but don't comment on it any further. I don't even want to know what he means by that. Besides, the fact that I've caught them in their sexual escapades doesn't really bother me anymore. Fuck, if Theo gave me the chance to get on my knees for him in this kitchen, I'd do the same thing.

But I'm not thinking about Theo anymore.

"Do you want some coffee?" Cal asks while he takes two mugs out of the cupboard, pulling me away from my inappropriate thoughts.

"Wow. You've actually learned how to make a pot?" I tease.

"Barely," he answers with a grin. "I didn't say it was any good."

"Well, thanks, even if it's not great. I don't think I'd have time to make it myself today. I'm running late already."

Cal lifts an eyebrow while filling the mugs.

"Work, Cal. It's Friday," I remind him. "You can still drive me in, right?"

He frowns while carrying the mugs to the table. "Uh, you don't have work today. Theo called in for you."

I don't think I heard him right.

"What?"

Cal shrugs, an awkward expression on his face. "He came by earlier... Thought you might need your things. He told me that he already spoke with Heidi and let her know that you probably wouldn't be coming in today."

"What the fuck?" I ask with annoyance and then mutter, "What an asshole."

Cal frowns and takes a sip of his coffee. "I think he was trying to be nice. He's having a really hard time with—"

"Is he staying home from work today?" I ask pointedly.

Cal shakes his head. "I don't think so, but—"

"I'm going to work, Cal!" I stand up from the table, ignoring the coffee Cal has placed in front of me. "Can you drive me in or not?"

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Emy..." he starts, but then he closes his eyes and gives his head a slow shake. "Yah, fine, I'll drive you."

"Thanks," I mutter, sounding anything but thankful. I leave my untouched mug on the table and walk past him to exit the kitchen. "I'm going to have a quick shower and then I'll be ready to go. Don't leave without me."

"Yah," Cal answers with just as much attitude as I'm giving him. He sinks down into his chair again.

I grip the handle of my backpack to take it upstairs with me. Once I've finished the world's quickest shower and washed away yesterday's tear-stained makeup, I rummage through the bag to find something to wear. My hands close around soft, grey cotton.

Before I can stop myself, I'm holding Theo's t-shirt—one that I've worn countless times—tightly against my face. I breathe in deeply, momentarily basking in the warm comfort that his familiar scent brings me, and then I'm crying into the material with a fresh round of tears.