--BEFORE--

My phone lights up and buzzes, indicating that I have a text message. I glance in its direction, but then bring my eyes back to my laptop and continue scrolling.

My phone buzzes again. I sigh, then move my hand away from the touchpad to pick up my cellphone from the mattress.

Justin: found a new fave, think youll like it. I know I did
Justin: sent it to your email

It's as if he knew I was trying to find something to watch.

I smirk and toss my phone down on the mattress again to open my email on my laptop. Sure enough, the top email is from Justin, a connoisseur of all things porn.

It doesn't even embarrass me that he knows what I watch when I touch myself. Not anymore.

At first, it had been mortifying.

After Vee and Oliver went back to Florida, I had told Justin about the phone call I received on the rooftop. He helped me locate every "Al's Place" within a couple of hours from our place. He came with me to each one, to ask around and to show Cal's picture, while I tried to find the last place Cal had attempted to contact me from.

Eventually, we located the right one. After talking to the owner, I was sure of it. But it didn't bring us any closer to finding Cal. All it did was bring the two of us closer together; the two pathetic friends who had been left behind.

Justin's friendship had gotten me through a lot in the months that followed, but I never imagined it would bring me here.

It was about six months after Cal left, that I dropped an egg on the floor one morning. And I completely lost my shit.

Justin watched, as I stomped around the kitchen to clean it up, and then picked up a banana to eat instead.

"Fuck Lia, you're looking at that banana like you want to deep throat it," he laughed, "I always get a little cranky when I need to get off too... I think. Fuck, I can't really remember the last time I went without."

I glared at him, then said, "You haven't hooked up with anyone in weeks. At least, not that I know of. I haven't seen any fake tits around here lately."

"Plenty of fake tits on the internet, Lia, and I've got a pretty good imagination, and a right hand that knows juuust how I like it." He placed his hand over his crotch and winked at me, then laughed again when he noticed my uncomfortable expression.

"Aww, c'mon, Lia. We're adults. We don't have to pretend that watching porn isn't just a hell of a lot easier and even more satisfying at times. No small talk and playing nice. No having to deal with..." he drifted off while watching my face. "Fuck. You don't watch porn?"

I shook my head, then dropped my eyes to the table. How the hell had I ended up in this conversation?

"You just get the job done without it?" he asked, but my lack of reply must have given him an answer, because then he said, "Holy shit. You don't masturbate?! No wonder you've been such a bitch. Damn, Lia, you need a fucking orgasm!"

I couldn't even argue with him.

That night, he showed up to my room with a laptop. He opened the web browser, clicked a few buttons, and said, "Here's some of my favourites. Don't worry, I removed anything that was too intense. Let me know if you need any help." He laughed, almost nervously, then clarified, "Help with the laptop, I mean. I know you don't want me. Anyway, enjoy!" He ruffled my hair and left me to it.

To my utmost shock, he didn't bring it up again.

Weeks passed since he gave me the laptop, and I had watched the videos he bookmarked more than a couple of times. I was ready for something new, but navigating the internet to find new material was a feat I wasn't sure I was ready for.

So, I swallowed my pride, had a stiff drink, and knocked on Justin's door late one night to ask him to help me—with the laptop.

And thus, a new part of our friendship began. A part that I had never thought could even be a type of friendship—the part where Justin hand-picked porn videos for me to get off to.

By now, I mostly know what I like. I could probably find some new material on my own, and sometimes I do, but there is something oddly exciting about clicking videos that Justin sends me. It feels like opening a gift of sorts.

And the gift of the night? Not a disappointment.

I'm almost there, with my fingers between my legs, when I hear my phone go off again.

Fuck. I hate being interrupted.

I glance at its screen to see that its still open to my conversation with Justin.

Justin: hahaba I realize why I liked it so much
Justin: the chick looks like you

What?

I look back at the screen as my hand goes still. Fuck, I can sort of see what he's saying, actually. If my tits were bigger, and my lips fuller, the porn star and I could be sisters.

My phone lights up and buzzes again. And again. And again.

For fuck sakes!

I slap the laptop closed and pick up the offending cellphone, as it goes off a fourth time.

Justin: ah fuck lia I'm drunk. Gimme a pass and don't get all pussy at me
Justin: pisyy
Justin: pissy. There, that one hahah

Justin: did I mention im drunk lol

Not only had he broken my concentration in the first place, but now he wouldn't stop messaging me. My friend, the porno connoisseur or not, was certainly killing the mood tonight.

I type out a quick reply and send it to him: Stop. Texting. Me.

Justin: Worry
Justin: sorry
Justin: like I said, I'm drink
Justin: drunk
Justin: hahaba I can text on a good day nvm right now
Justin: can't

I let out a frustrated groan, adjust my panties, and swing my legs off the bed. I exit my room and head to Justin's, fully intending to give him a piece of my mind.

As I reach his door, my phone alerts me of another incoming text. I lift my hand to look at the screen with an annoyed sigh, as two more texts roll in

Justin: Ive wanted you for 3 years and I always gotta just keep that to myself so you don't hate me but you camt blame me for saying something sometimes specially whilst drunk
Justin: whilst lol who says that
Justin: not my fault your beutiful

I stare down at the messages on my phone and try to decide what to do next. The annoyance I was feeling is slowly dissapating. That last message was actually kind of sweet.

Justin: and sexy
Justin: and funny
Justin: the things I'd do to you..
Justin: yo just block my number at this point lol
Justin: fuck lia please dont rip my balls off for this

I swing open the door to find Justin sitting on the edge of his king sized bed.—He made the upgrade when Adam moved down the hall to Oliver's old room—He's in his boxers, with his phone in his hand, and when he sees me his eyes go wide.

"Ahhh!" he screams, and falls back onto the mattress, then flips onto his stomach and scrambles to the head of the bed to grab a pillow.

"What the hell, Justin?" I yell at him as I cross the room. I climb onto his bed and crawl after him, slapping the back of his bare thigh. "What's the point of sending me porn if you're going to interrupt me a dozen times after?"

Justin rolls onto his back and holds the pillow he had just grabbed over his boxers. "Oh, fuck. You were watching it already?" His eyes move down to my bare legs, and I tug on the t-shirt I'm wearing to make sure my panties are covered.

I glance down at the pillow he's holding, and then back up at him. "It's not like you to hide a boner," I point out, ignoring his question.

"I'm not hiding a boner. I'm keeping you from ripping my balls off," he replies.

"You don't sound as drunk as your texts sound," I accuse, narrowing my eyes at him.

"I'm not that drunk. I'm just illiterate," he answers with a shrug.

"Being illiterate made you call me beautiful?" I ask, pointedly.

"No, that was the liquor..." he admits with an impish grin.

"So without the liquor, I'm not?"

He shakes his head. "No, that's not it. Without the liquor, I just care more about my balls, apparently, so I have an easier time keeping my thoughts to myself." He shrugs, and looks over at his laptop, which is sitting open on the far side of the bed. It's paused on the same pornography video I had just been watching. "And I usually don't watch porn that includes your clone. That didn't help the situation," he says with a laugh while he looks back at me.

"You paused it to text me?" I ask in disbelief.

"Sort of... It's not the first time I've watched it, but I couldn't get it out of my head. I sent it to you tonight, then started watching it again, and that's when it hit me that she looks like you." He looks a little embarrassed, and then adds, "It suddenly felt wrong watching it, like you were going to realize I was getting off while thinking about you, and the next thing I know, I'm texting you."

"Wrong?"

"Yeah. Fuck, I don't know. Once I realized I was thinking about you, and that you might realize, I couldn't let myself finish."

I pull a face. "Justin!"

He points to me and laughs. "See? Knew you wouldn't like that! Look how good of a friend I am, stopping myself from coming at the thought of you. I deserve a fucking trophy!"

I laugh and pat his shin. "Wow, Justin, thank you so much for not coming while thinking about me," I say while I roll my eyes. I move off the bed to walk back to my room.

"Wait. Why are you rolling your eyes at me?" Justin calls after me, clearly confused.

"I don't know. 'I can't come while thinking about you' isn't quite the compliment you're acting like it is," I answer with a laugh and a small shake of my head.

"Woah, what? Clean your ears out, girl. I didn't say I couldn't finish, I said I didn't... this time. I've come a hundred other times thinking about you in the past, and if you don't have a problem with that... Well, then I'll come a hundred more times thinking about you."

"Okay."

Justin's mouth drops open. "Okay?"

I shrug. "Sure. It feels kind of good to know someone wants me..."

"Fuck, Lia, I'll always want you. You ever feel you're unwanted, you tell me, and I'll tell you all the things I want to do with you."

I smile at him. "Thanks Just."

He still has a look of surprise on his face when I step out of his room and shut the door.

I make it half way back to my room, when my feet stop moving. I slowly turn around and stare at Justin's door, and then I'm walking back toward it.

When I open it, I find him sitting up in the center of his bed with his boxers removed and his cock in his hand.

He freezes and then says, "If you fucking changed your mind, too bad! You're in my head now, Lia. I'm coming to the thought of you, whether you like it or not."

I pull my shirt off and drop it on the floor, then pull my panties down and step out of them.

Justin tightens his hold on himself and lets out a heavy breath. "You're even more gorgeous than I imagined."

I walk toward his bed and climb on, crawling over his legs, until I'm able to put my hands on his shoulders.

Justin releases himself to put his hands on my hips. "What's your plan here, Lia? Tell me what you want. I'll give you anything."

"Show me how badly you want me," I answer, while looking into his wide eyes.

He reaches up to gently take one of my hands from his shoulders and guides it down his body to the tip of his erection. There's already a bead of moisture there. "The question has never been whether I want you, gorgeous. The real question is, do you want me?"

"I just want to feel something, Justin."

He smiles at me. "I can work with that. I'll make you feel all sorts of things, Lia. Whatever you want."

I wrap my hand around him and move it up and down. "I want you to fuck me, Justin."

"Fuck," he breathes out with a groan, "I thought you'd never ask," then he grabs my face in his hands and seals his mouth over mine.

I don't know why, but the kiss surprises me. It almost ruins everything. I release my hold on him and grab onto his wrists, thinking I need to stop this.

What am I doing? I can't be with Justin! I don't love him. Maybe as a friend, but certainly not more than that. I was an idiot to think this was a good idea; that I could actually enjoy having sex with someone when I don't—Oh, what is he doing?

One of Justin's hands has trailed down from my cheek. He pulls his wrist away from my grasp, and smooths his hand over my throat and chest, to one of my breasts. He squeezes and passes his thumb back and forth over my nipple, then continues his descent until he's running two fingers between my legs to part my folds.

We both moan at the same time.

Scratch everything I was just thinking. I am enjoying this. Having someone's fingers other than my own, touching me for the first time in close to a year, feels absolutely amazing.

"Justin!" I gasp his name, and a wide grin spreads across his face, while he continues moving his fingers against me.

"Oh Lia, you don't know how many times I've fantasized about you saying my name, just like that," he tells me, "and actually hearing it is even better than I imagined."

He looks down my body, to where he's touching me, and the look of adoration on his face is exhilarating. His fingers trace my seam, then spread the wetness he finds there up to my clit. He rubs circles against it, and looks up to meet my eyes again when I let out a long moan.

"Beautiful, fucking beautiful," he says in a voice I've heard him use on way too many women.

I know it's a line. I know he's one hell of a smooth talker, due to years and years of practice with countless women. Yet even knowing this, it feels good to hear.

"Fuck me, Justin!" I tell him again.

He moves his fingers back down and pushes them into me. "I fucking plan on it, don't you worry," he explains, while using two fingers inside of me in a scissor motion. "I just..." he drifts off and leans forward to kiss me again.

I only kiss him back for a short moment, then pull my mouth away from his. It's not that he's a bad kisser... He's actually pretty good at it. The piercing he got through his tongue a couple of months ago adds an extra flare to the activity. It makes me want to thoroughly explore his mouth with my own. And yet, I don't really enjoy kissing him.

It just doesn't feel right.

"You just, what?" I ask, wondering why he didn't finish his sentence. I reach for his erection again, but Justin uses his free hand to stop me.

"I don't want to come too fast," he says in a rush. "Fuck, I'm almost bursting right now, just from feeling you with my fingers. I get my cock in you, and it's game over. And I'm not ready for this to be over."

Another fucking line.

I laugh softly and brush my lips against his. "Justin?"

"Yeah, Lia?"

"If you don't put your cock in me now, this is going to be over. I came here to get fucked. I can finger myself just fine, thank you." That's only a partial truth, though. My fingers could never quite move inside of me the way that Justin's fingers are now.

Justin bites his lip and nods. "Okay." He nods his head toward the nightstand. "Condoms are in the top drawer."

I lean into him to reach the handle on the drawer, and feel Justin's mouth moving against my neck. "Damnit Lia, your skin is so smooth. Your pussy is so wet. I'm really not going to last long once I'm inside of you. I—"

"Shut up, Justin," I growl as I grab a hold of a condom and pull it out of the drawer.

I noticed what else was part of the drawers' contents. It's filled with an assortment of condoms, and, what I am quite positive are various kinds of sex toys. And here he is, telling me he's not going to last, as if he hasn't been having nights of sex marathons with two women at a time for as long as I've known him.

I may be willing to fuck him, but I'm not going to fall for his bullshit lines and charm.

I rip the condom open with my teeth and reach down to put it on Justin.

He lets out a hiss and removes his fingers from me while I roll it onto him. He leans back to rest on his elbows, and stares up at my face. "Lia," he says my name, while I position myself over him. "I'm not kidding. I'm—"

"Justin, shut up," I tell him again, and then I push myself down, and immediately cry out at the way he fills me.

He's not Cal. He could never be Cal. But fuck, this sure beats my own fingers and imagination. I don't care what Justin says, porn is not more satisfying than sex.

"Fuuuck, Lia," Justin calls out, as I begin to move myself up and down over him. "Fuck," he says again, and grabs my hips, as if he's trying to hold me still. "Slow down, gorgeous, I can't..."

I peel his hands away from my hips and move them to my breasts. "Stop holding back, Justin," I demand. "I thought you wanted me?"

"I do. I fucking do, Lia. You're all I want," he says while squeezing my breasts, and running his thumbs over my nipples. "That's why I'm holding back. I don't want to come without you. What do you need? Tell me what will get you there, gorgeous."

What? I don't fucking know! I never had to ask or explain anything to Cal. He always just somehow knew.

"I... I don't know," I answer honestly.

Justin groans, and I can't tell if it's with pleasure or pain. His hands settle on my hips again as I lift up, but when I try to move down again, he tightens his hold and keeps me suspended.

"Just..." I say his name with a plea, but he doesn't give in.

Rather than allow me to sink back down on him, he pulls me off completely.

I cry out in protest, only for him to continue pulling forward on my hips. The motion sends my body falling forward, so that my hands land on the pillows behind his head.

With his hands still gripping me tightly, Justin slides his body farther down the bed, and then his mouth is on me.

"Oh, fuck!" I scream, while he eagerly strokes me with his tongue. The cool metal of his piercing rubs against me. His hands move from my hips to my ass, and he holds me firmly in place while he feasts on me.

Fuck, this man can eat pussy. Not that I'm surprised.

After tasting every piece of me with his tongue and lips, he runs a hand up to my hip again and then to my lower stomach. His strong hands manipulate my body, moving me in such a way that I end up sitting high up on his chest with my knees on either side of his head.

"Justin! Justin!" I call out his name while the feeling builds in me, and I catch a cocky smile light up his face before he clamps his lips around my clit and sucks hard on it.

I come harder than I have in months.

Justin's mouth and tongue linger while the waves travel through me, and then he's abruptly tossing me to the side and sitting up.

"Justin—"

"Shut up, Lia. I'm not done with you," he says, while moving behind me.

My stomach flips at his bossy tone.

Fuck, I need that. When he asked me earlier what I needed, that's what I should have told him; I need you to take charge.

He grabs my hips while he positions himself, and pushes into me.

My body welcomes him, and clenches around him as he begins to move inside of me. Having just come, I'm already well on my way to reaching a second orgasm, but I can't seem to quite grasp it.

"Harder!" I encourage, and Justin grunts while his grip tightens on me and he thrusts forward with more power.

"Harder!" I say again, and I hear Justin mutter a curse. "Choke me!"

"What?"

"Fucking choke me! Put your hands around my throat!"

I feel his hands move around me, and a moan escapes me when he begins to squeeze. But it's not enough.

"More," I encourage.

"Em..." he replies, sounding unsure.

"Do it!" I insist, and my eyes just about roll back when he listens.

His hard thrust are becoming closer and closer together. He pounds into me, using my body like it's only purpose is to please him.

It's exactly what I need.

His hands squeeze my throat tightly one more time, and then he releases his hold and demands, "Come for me, baby!" while giving my ass a hard slap.

"Caaaaal!"

I fucking detonate, while I scream the wrong fucking name.

Justin grips my hips while he buries deep inside of me a final time. He curses repeatedly while he holds himself in place, emptying himself into the condom.

When he pulls out, my body sinks into the mattress, and he lays down on his back beside me.

I know what I said. I know I fucked up. I'm fucking mortified. I want to run and hide, but I know he deserves better. I force myself to look at him, waiting for the fallout that's sure to come.

After staring up at the ceiling for a short moment, he turns his head to the side to look at me. "It's Justin," he says calmly.

"Fuck, Justin. I'm so sorry," I apologize, feeling my cheeks begin to burn.

To my surprise, he smiles at me. "Don't be sorry. You can pretend I'm whoever you want, especially if you're going to let me fuck you."

The shock I'm feeling must be evident on my face, because he laughs and reaches a hand up to trace my lips with the pad of this thumb. "Lia, I was staring at his name on your ass while I fucked you, it's not like it's possible for me to forget that you're his. I know I'm just a way to pass the time."

My eyes fill with tears, and Justin's light hearted smile disappears.

"Fuck, come on, don't cry. It's one thing to call out the wrong name while I fuck you, but if you start crying afterward, then I'm really going to start questioning my skills."

I move toward him and snuggle my face against his shoulder. "I miss him so much. I still wake up sometimes, expecting him to be there," I admit in a soft whisper.

Justin pets my hair and kisses the top of my head. "I miss him too, and I was only half in love with him, so I can only imagine how you must feel."

The smallest laugh escapes me, and I tip my head back to look at Justin. "Only half?" I tease.

"Yah. The fucker never let me anywhere near his dick, so I wasn't gonna give my whole heart over to him, ya know?"

He winks at me, and now I'm laughing even harder. "You're the best, Justin. I don't know how I would have survived this year without you. Thank you... Especially for tonight."

He smiles at me, and then, almost hesitantly, softly presses his lips against mine. "My pleasure, Lia," he says after the kiss. "Could you do me a favour though?"

"Of course. What is it?"

"Like I said, you can pretend I'm whoever you want... in your head. But next time, maybe don't say it out loud."

"Oh Justin," I reach up and pat his cheek, "There isn't going to be a next time."

"Fuck."

Author's Note: Justin's "pissy" typos were 100% real typos on my part that made me laugh. I decided since he was drunk I would just go with them 😅

I'm curious who was surprised and who knew this chapter was coming. 🤭