Justin keeps staring at me, and all I can do is stare back.

His eyes are bloodshot and his pupils are dilated which comes as no surprise. But the bags beneath his eyes, his unruly hair and his wrinkled clothing look so out of place on his body. I've never seen Justin not taking pride in his appearance. Vee wasn't kidding when she mentioned over the phone that he wasn't doing well.

When Cal first opened the door, Justin nearly bowled him over with a hug. Though clearly confused and surprised, Cal returned the hug and seemed genuinely happy to see his old best friend.

It was heartwarming to watch... until Justin noticed me on the couch.

His eyes immediately filled with tears. He started moving toward me, and I unintentionally tensed.

Theo sat up a little straighter next to me and then leaned forward almost as if he was ready to physically put his body between Justin and I.

Justin noticed and slowed his approach, and then he just stood there. His eyes remained fixed on my face.

"What are you doing here, Justin? How did you even know—" Cal began to question him.

"I tracked Lia's phone," Justin admitted. "I didn't think about it at first... especially when my calls and texts stopped going through. But after hearing that Vee was able to make contact the idea came to me. I was the one that set up her phone plan in the first place so getting access to her location wasn't that hard."

He kept his eyes on me while he spoke, other than for a brief moment when they flickered to Theo sitting next to me.

April stood up and crossed the room to where Cal was still hovering near the front door. "Why don't I put on some coffee?" she offered while gently stroking his arm, and Cal dumbly nodded his head.

And now here we are... Myself and the three men that I've fallen asleep next to, all in one living room in terrible, awkward silence while we wait for coffee that none of us are actually interested in.

Cal invited Justin to sit down in the recliner, I'm still sitting on the couch next to Theo, and Cal is on his feet by the TV, too restless to sit down himself.

"You really letting this woolly mammoth fuck our girl?"

Justin is the first one to break the silence, which I should have expected, and both Cal and Theo visibly tense up even more.

"What? They're not..." Cal drifts off while his eyes take in how close Theo is sitting next to me. We're no longer holding hands, but the outside of Theo's foot is pressed against the side of mine.

Cal's eyes study the way we're sitting before he looks up at our faces with an expression of realization.

I hold my breath while I wait for his reaction and wait for Theo to put some space between us.

But Theo doesn't move an inch. If anything, he presses his leg closer to mine so that it's no longer just our feet touching but our calves and knees too.

Cal's eyes narrow but then he turns back to look at Justin. "Our girl? My girl, Justin, my girl. But I bet it took you all of two minutes to try to fuck her once I was out of the picture, didn't it?"

I can feel the rage radiating off of Theo. He's sitting as still as a statue with his arms crossed in front of him. His jaw is tightly pressed together, and his hands are fiercely gripping his forearms as if he's afraid of what he'll say or do if he allows himself to move a muscle.

"You're the one who fucking left, Jonesy! You left her! You left both of us! Were we supposed to just sit around forever and wait for you? What did you think—"

"Lower your voice," Cal cuts him off, barely managing himself to keep his voice below screaming. "My daughter is sleeping," he adds with a little more control. "Actually—"

"Your daughter?" Justin spits out. "What the fuck?"

"Yes. And the lovely one making coffee? That's my wife. And this is a really bad time, Justin." He almost sounds sympathetic now while he runs a hand through his hair. "All this bullshit aside, it is good to see you, man... But this is a tough day for my family. You need to go."

"Wh-what?" Justin croaks out, and he looks so dejected that I almost get off the couch to go to him.

Almost being the keyword. Theo is so wound up that I don't dare move away. This is so unlike him. He's always the calm in my storm but right now he seems to be battling a hurricane of his own.

"You heard me," Cal replies, holding his ground. "Maybe you could get a motel room around here? We can talk in a day or two if you want but right now doesn't work. I need to be here for my family and—"

"Your family? They're not your fucking family!"

Cal's moment of calm is quickly deteriorating. He clenches his fists at his side and growls, "They are. Now lower your damn voice or get the fuck out of my house."

"No!" Justin yells and stands up from his chair, and Theo's arm snaps out in front of me in a protective stance.

I gently settle a hand on his elbow to try and reassure him—I'm not afraid of Justin—but he keeps his arm in place. His scowling eyes follow Justin's every movement.

"We're family!" Justin emphasizes in a desperate voice, "You, me, Lia. Fuck. Adam, Joe, Vik. Vee and Oliver even, though they're living in Florida. We're family, Cal!"

An ache grows in my chest. I know how hurt Justin was when Cal disappeared. I know how much he depended on me in the aftermath because I had depended on him too. I don't want him to feel this betrayal... A betrayal that I was feeling myself so painfully when I first found Cal back.

Cal shakes his head. "No, Justin... Maybe we were but things have changed."

"Nothing has changed!" Justin snaps back, "You're just playing pretend in the fucking suburbs, but you know who you are. What you are. You're no better than any of us. You're a fucking crook, Jonesy. The only thing that's different now is that you're lying to yourself about it!"

"Justin!" I shout his name while I push Theo's arm from in front of me.

Justin turns toward me and angrily swipes a hand through the air. "Ahh, fuck off, Lia. Not you too. You know as well as I do that this is bullshit. He's not meant to be here, playing house. He's not made for it." He looks back at Cal and points a finger at him. "There's only two ways out of the life we have, Jonesy, and those are prison or death. You've done things. We've all done things. You don't get to just skip out and act like it never happened!"

Cal doesn't have a reply this time. His eyes drop to the floor, and he remains quiet.

April has walked back into the room at some point to stand beside him. She reaches for his hand, and Cal flinches and pulls away.

Oh fuck. He's letting Justin get to him.

I'm on my feet before Theo can stop me. I walk with purpose toward Justin to get him out of this house but as I get closer to him, his angry expression softens.

Before I know what's happening, I'm in his arms. He's clinging to me and crying into my hair, and I'm returning his embrace and soothingly rubbing his back.

"Damnit, Lia. I'm so sorry. I miss you so much," he tells me in a choked voice. "I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. Come back home with me. You'll be safe. He's gone. He's fucking—"

"Who?" Cal barks the question in a demanding voice, seemingly forgetting all about his request to Justin to keep his voice down. "Who fucking hurt her, Justin? Tell me, right now, who fucking hurt her!"

April lets out a noise that's a mix of a gasp and a whimper as she tightly grips onto Cal's arm in a weak attempt to keep him from closing in on Justin.

Her desperate eyes meet mine, and I give her a quick nod before I gently push on Justin's shoulders to back him towards the door.

"Step outside with me, Just," I plead with him in a soft voice. "Let's talk. Just the two of us, okay?"

"Milia." It's the first sound that Theo has made since Justin showed up, and I know what he means by it. He doesn't want me to be around Justin alone. But I can't give him what he wants right now. I need to get Justin away from Cal so that they can both calm down.

"It's okay, Theo," I try to reassure him while I look over my shoulder to meet his concerned gaze.

He's on his feet now too but he doesn't move forward to try and stop me. He keeps himself in place, slowly nodding his head even though it's clear that there's not an ounce of him that agrees with my idea.

He respects me too much to make demands of me. He trusts me enough to make my own decisions. Knowing this makes me appreciate and adore him all the more, especially when Cal's commanding voice follows us out of the door.

"Emy! Don't you fucking walk away with him right now! I asked him a question! I asked you a fucking question, Justin!"

"Cal, please," April's voice begs while she tries to keep him from following us, and I quickly shut the door.

"Lia-babe, this is so fucked up," Justin groans while rubbing his tired and bloodshot eyes. "Can we just go? Fuck Jonesy. We don't need him. We're fucking good together, Lia. You know we're so good together."

"Justin..." I gently rub his arm, and he once again gathers me into a tight hug.

"I know I fucked up. I know it's all my fault. But you gotta forgive me. I'd do anything for you, Lia, anything. Just give me a chance," he pleads.

"It's not your fault, Just. I don't blame you, and I'm not mad at you," I try to reassure him.

He holds me an arm's length away so that he can look into my eyes and when he doesn't detect any sign that I'm lying a smile lights up his face. He pulls me close to his chest again and nearly squishes me in one of his over-the-top tight Justin hugs. I hadn't realized how badly I missed these hugs until this moment.

"Let's go then, okay? I just want to be back home with you in my bed. Just you and me, Lia. That's all I want. I'm so damn sorry that I made it sound—"

"No, Justin," I interrupt him before he can get too carried away with his hope. "I'm sorry, but it's not happening... I've explained this before. You and I were never supposed to be more..."

"He's fucking married, Lia!" he snaps the words as if I'm too stupid to understand them. "I fucking get it, okay? You're never going to love me like you love him. I can live with being second best. But he doesn't want you! He left you, and then he married someone else! When the fuck are you going to wake up and realize that Cal Jones was never yours to keep!"

I push on his chest to try and put some space between us but Justin doesn't allow it. He continues to hold onto me and lets out a frustrated groan when I step on his foot.

"For shit's sake, Lia. Why do you have to be so stubborn?"

Panic begins to take hold of me. I wildly thrash my body and scream, "Let go of me!"

Justin moves his arms away, and I quickly move to the other side of the porch.

He begins to move after me but I throw my hands up and squeak out, "Don't touch me."

I can see the precise moment that he realizes the painful memories he may have caused, but before either of us can say anything else the door whips open.

Theo steps outside with lethal fire in his eyes. He takes one look at me cowering on the far side of the porch and then begins moving toward Justin.

Justin wisely raises his hands in an unthreatening gesture and takes a step back but his actions do nothing to deter Theo.

"Relax, Adam, he wasn't going to hit me." The words come out of my mouth before I know what I'm saying, and Theo freezes on the spot before slowly turning around to look at me.

"Th-Theo," I correct myself and give my head a small shake.

This day is getting to me. All the confusion and misery surrounding the anniversary of Ben's death, and then all of the memories and unresolved arguments that have come to the surface with Justin's appearance.

I'm overwhelmed. I'm spinning out. And I just called Theo by the wrong fucking name.

He looks hurt but he doesn't call me out on my mistake. He just asks, "Are you sure?"

I nod my head, and he turns back to look at Justin. "I'm right inside," he warns him, "I can't hear what you two are saying but I can hear if you're yelling. I don't want to hear you yelling again. Do you understand me?"

Justin begrudgingly nods, and Theo lifts his hand to point to the door. "Right inside," he reiterates. "I have to run out here again and you're going to regret it."

"You that sure you could whoop my ass?" Justin scoffs.

Theo nonchalantly shrugs his shoulders, although I know he's feeling anything but nonchalance. "You make me come out here again and we'll find out pretty quickly."

Justin keeps his mouth closed this time, and Theo turns around to walk to me.

"Are you okay, Milia?" he asks in a quiet voice once he's standing in front of me.

I want to reach out and grip his arm but I'm afraid that I'll become a sobbing mess if I get too close to him. I slightly shake my head but offer him a quick smile before my negative reply can make him too worried. "I'm not really, Theodore... But I will be. You can go back inside."

"Yeah?" he begins to move a hand toward me like he's going to stroke my arm but he stops himself when he's an inch away. His hand falls back down to his side again. "Just holler if you need me. I'll be right here, okay?"

I nod my head, and with a parting scowl in Justin's direction, Theo goes back into the house.

"So it's not Cal, it's that guy..." Justin's shoulders sag while he looks at the closed front door. "Here I thought he was just another poor schmuck like me that you were fucking while pining after Cal, but he's more than that, isn't he?"

"I'm not fucking him, Justin," I mumble while crossing my arms in front of me. "But, um... Yeah. I mean, I think he is more than that..."

"More than us," Justin says quietly. "Why couldn't..." He drifts off and stares out at the quiet street but then looks back at me. "Why couldn't you ever love me like that, Lia?"

"I don't know," I answer honestly. "I don't think it was that I didn't love you... I do love you, Justin. But it was never..."

"You were never in love with me," Justin supplies for me when I can't figure out the words myself. "I had my heart on my sleeve for you for fucking years. Still do. But you never got close to feeling the same way."

"I'm sorry." A tear slides down my cheek, and I wipe it with the back of my hand. "I wanted to be in love with you, Justin. You were my best friend. You were always there for me. But it just didn't happen..."

"Oh for fucks sake, Lia. Don't give me that shit. You never even tried. You were still caught up on Jonesy, and I'll bet the only reason you're able to move on now is because he went and married someone else. If you can even call this moving on. What are you doing here with Cal's new family? Cal didn't even realize you were fucking this guy until I said something! This is some fucked up shit, Lia!"

The front door opens again and Justin slightly flinches, but it's not Theo that comes through it.

Cal walks onto the porch and shuts the door behind him. He looks between Justin and I and then crosses his arms over his chest while he stares straight ahead at the road.

"I can't say I'm surprised that you two started fucking each other," he says in a much calmer voice than I expected. "And you're right, I can't be mad about that. I'm not, really. But you know what I am pissed off about?" He turns his head to glare at Justin.

"Cal, don't." I know where he's going with this, and it's nowhere good. I step away from the guard rail to move closer to him and place a hand on his shoulder. "What happened was not Justin's fault. He—"

"How could you let something happen to her?" Cal shouts his question at Justin as if I hadn't said a thing.

I have a feeling whatever April said to him to calm him down went in one ear and right out of the other.

"I didn't mean for that..." Justin starts quietly in a voice filled with shame but then he meets my eyes and shakes his head. "No. You know what? It wasn't my fault! I've been blaming myself this whole time too but fuck that!"

"So whose fault was it then?" Cal asks while shrugging my hand off of his shoulder. "Who—"

"Don't tell him, Justin!" I push past Cal to get between the two men and reach for Justin's hand. "Please, Justin, you can't tell him! You can't!"

"Tell me!" Cal screams from behind me, and Justin looks back and forth between us like a deer in the headlights.

"Don't, Just. He's going to do something stupid. Please. Please!" I'm begging him now, and I'm pulling out all the stops to do it; leaning into him and rubbing his back, staring up at him with wide eyes, doing everything I can to appeal to the part of him that would do anything for me.

"It doesn't matter, Lia," Justin says quietly. "He's gone..."

"Well, tell me who it was and we'll fucking find him!" Cal barks. "He can't hide forever!"

But something about the way Justin said it makes me sure that he didn't simply mean that the monster in question is in hiding.

My heart plummets into my stomach, and my hand drops from Justin's back as I take a small step away from him. "Justin... You didn't. Tell me you didn't."

It's not that I care about the well-being of my assailant but I do care about Justin. Just as I wouldn't want Cal to carry the responsibility of capital punishment for my sake, I don't want Justin to either. Not my happy-go-lucky Justin who used to always walk around with a shit-eating grin on his face. He shouldn't have to carry this burden for me!

Justin shakes his head ever so slightly. "Not me. I wanted to. Believe me, it would've been me if I had gotten to him first. But by the time I found out what had happened, it was already done. Adam and Joe... Well, they didn't give me any details. But they told me I didn't have to worry about it."

His answer doesn't make me feel any better.

I can picture how eerily calm Adam was when he found me. The way he helped me in the bathroom and took care of my cuts. The way he apologized to me before admitting what he had said to Cal to send him running all those years ago.

He held me when I fell apart and then when I turned my misery and anger on him he accepted it. He left me in my room when I started packing my bag and when I tried to escape unnoticed out the door, he shoved a wad of cash in my hands and told me that he would talk to Joe and they would take care of it.

I didn't know what he meant. I was disoriented and scared and just wanted to get away.

Adam tried to get through to me that I could come back if I wanted to and that if I needed anything I just had to let him know but I barely heard him.

"He'll never hurt you or anyone else again, Emilia. I promise you."

They were the last words he said to me before I got the hell away from that place. I didn't realize at the time what I realize now.

He truly meant what he said.

"So," Cal begins in a strained voice as if he needs to confirm what is already obvious, "what you're saying is..."

"He's gone," Justin answers while looking past me at Cal. His eyes move back to me, and he carefully takes my hand in his. "He got what he deserved, and I'm only sorry that I wasn't the one to do it, but Mack is rotting in hell now. He's fucking dead."

Author's Note: I had meant to do another flashback chapter of Emilia and Justin's relationship before we got to this point but I got so caught up in the "Now" of the story that I never got around to it. I'll probably go back to add it one of these days but it won't affect the storyline so you won't have to go back to read it.

For those who don't remember Mack, he was the worst character in The Love I Found, and I think it was always clear that I especially hated him.

The next chapter will be a flashback of the events leading up to what happened between Mack and Emilia.

I won't be covering any of the awful details of what happened between them but there will be some nasty dialogue which may be triggering to some readers. Please keep this in mind once I post the next chapter and feel free to skip it when Mack enters or even the entire chapter as whole if you need to. ❤️