"So, did I let you down?" Theo asks once we're back in the truck. He fastens his seatbelt and puts the keys in the ignition.

I lean forward to place the paper bag of individually boxed pie slices on the truck floor. I take my time sitting back in my seat, then look over at him, and answer begrudgingly, "That was the best lasagna I've ever had."

Theo's face scrunches up with a proud smile. "I told you I wouldn't disappoint ya."

I roll my eyes at him while he starts the truck. "Fuck, it's not like you made it. I don't know what you're so proud of."

He chuckles and looks over at me, while his hand holds the gear shift.

"What?" I peer out my window to look in the side mirror, wondering if I have sauce on my face.

"Seatbelt."

I start to shake my head with annoyance, but then think better of it. I guess if I had been in a severe car accident, I would be anal about seatbelt use too.

I click the seatbelt into place. "Happy?"

"Yup." He puts the truck in reverse and backs out of the parking spot.

"This is where you tell me a seatbelt saved your life, right?"

He's quiet for a beat too long before he nods. "Yup."

Fuck, Emilia. Leave the poor guy alone. He obviously doesn't want to talk about it.

"Who's Megan?"

I might be nice enough to leave the car accident subject alone, but I can't completely shut down my curiosity.

Theo doesn't seem upset by the question. "She's a friend," he answers simply, like he's telling me what the weather is like.

"Just a friend?" I pry, "Not a girlfriend?"

"She is a woman. She is my friend." He shrugs his shoulders, then looks over at me, "Why do you ask?"

I copy his shrug. "Just wondering. Ruthie seemed surprised that you were with me and not Megan. I don't need to be worried about some bitch getting all territorial because her good dick boyfriend took me out for dinner, do I?"

Theo blows out air with a quiet laugh when I say "good dick", then shakes his head. "Nope. She's not a bitch, and like I said, not my girlfriend."

"Good."

Theo gives me a puzzled look, and I quickly continue. "Good thing she's not a bitch. I don't have the patience to explain to her how she doesn't have to worry about me, since I really don't even like you."

"Ahh yes. That would be a lot of effort on your part to explain just how much you can't stand me."

"I'm glad you understand."

Theo snickers and winks at me, but doesn't verbally reply.

Fucking Ruthie, telling him how charming he is, as if the guy wasn't full of himself enough already.

I mean, she's not wrong. Once Theo stops scowling and starts smiling, he does have a certain warmth to him that could draw in even the coldest of hearts. If he kept his big mouth shut, and let me cut his beard, I'd probably climb on top of him and take him for a spin.

At least, I would have a couple of weeks ago...

Things are different now. I'm different.

They say the best thing to do when you get thrown off a horse is to get back on again. But what about when the horse throws you off and then tramples you? Why isn't there a stupid saying for that scenario?

"Do you have cigarettes on you?" I haven't had one since this morning with Cal, and all these thoughts are driving me crazy.

Theo shakes his head. "No. I don't smoke in my truck anyway." He frowns and nods his chin toward the dash. "There might be some traces of cocaine up there though, if you're really itching for somethin'."

I chew on my lip and squirm in my seat. "Yeah, uh, sorry about that..."

He sighs, like he almost regrets saying anything, but then eyes me with another frown. "You meant what you said when you told me you wouldn't bring drugs around him again, right?"

Ah, so we're back to me being public enemy number one. Figures.

When I don't answer immediately, he repeats the last word more firmly, "Right?"

"Fuck Theodore, relax. I will not bring drugs in front of Cal. Cross my heart."

"Don't be high around him either. He doesn't need that."

I sigh and squash down the urge to lash out at him. Instead, with my frustration evident in my voice, I explain, "I'm not some junkie. I don't plan on—"

"Don't say junkie," he butts in, "That's such a demeaning word."

"Fuck Theo!" So much for squashing down my anger. "Anything else I shouldn't be doing or saying?"

"How much time you got?" He looks over at me and offers a small smile. It feels a little like a peace offering, but I'm not sure I'm ready to accept it.

"No time at all. Drive faster."

He lets out a soft laugh, and I could be wrong, but I'm almost positive he eases up on the gas a little. The fucker.

"I'm not trying to give you a hard time, Emilia. I just care. You don't need that shit."

"You mean Cal doesn't need my shit," I correct him, "Let's keep it real, Theo."

"I am keeping it real." His tone puts the air quotes in for him. "I mean what I say. But yeah, Cal doesn't need your shit either. So stay shit free. For Cal, but also for yourself. Got it?"

"Don't say shit. That's such a demeaning word."

"Emilia," he barks my name a little too loudly for the confines of the truck cab. "Could you cut the crap for two seconds?"

"What, we eat lasagna together and now you expect me to think you suddenly care about my well-being?!" I shout at him.

Theo opens his mouth, probably to yell back, then snaps it closed again.

"I care." His voice comes out steady and even. The opposite of the way my voice had just erupted out of me.

Oh.

"You're a good person, Milia. Even without what I've heard from Cal, in the short time that I've known you, I can see that. I know you're hurting and frick, you're as bitter as a resentful old lady, but underneath all that, it's obvious that you've got heart. I don't want to see you making bad choices. I don't want to see you acting like people don't care." His eyes are focused out the front window as he speaks, but now he looks at me.

Fuck. Why can't I turn away from his intense, brown eyes?

"I care." He gives me a gentle smile, then turns back to look at the road ahead.

Why are my eyes burning? Why can't I think of one damn word to say back to him?

His phone starts ringing, and I don't think the timing could have been better. Maybe there is a God.

Theo glances at me, as if asking permission to answer.

Thinking it must be Cal again, I give a small nod, and finally manage to get my neck muscles working again.

As I turn to look out the passenger window, Theo greets the caller. "Hey Megs. What's up?'

Megs... As in, Megan?

"Theo! Hi!" A cheerful voice sounds from the truck's speakers. "I was wondering if you want to grab a bite to eat tonight?"

"I actually just caught an early dinner," Theo replies, sounding almost disappointed, "Rain check?"

Is he actually disappointed or just being polite?

"Oh okay, yeah," Megs replies, "How's your day been, Teddy?"

Teddy?! I fucking snort.

Theo grimaces, and then smirks at me.

"Who's that?" Megan asks, sounding oh so confused.

You're busted now, Theo.

"Hey, sorry, Megs. I have you on Bluetooth here. I'm driving. That was my friend, Emilia. She's getting a kick out of you calling me Teddy."

"Oh, oops. Sorry Theo! And hi Emilia! Nice to meet you. Or, well, chat with you."

"Hi Megs." I keep my voice friendly enough, but I don't offer anything else to the conversation.

"Hi!" Megan says again, then giggles a little awkwardly. "Well, I'll let you two go then, okay? See you tomorrow, Theo?"

"You betcha," Theo replies with a kind smile, even though she can't see him.

"Great! Have a good evening. Bye Emilia!"

"Bye," I reply simply. Why does she keep trying to bring me into the conversation?

"Later Megs. You have a good night too," Theo says sweetly, even as he gives me a disapproving look, like he's disappointed in me for being so rude.

"Will do, Teddy. See ya tomorrow!"

The peppy woman hangs up the phone, and I smirk over at Theo. "Sorry for blowing your cover."

"What cover?" he asks, seemingly unbothered.

"That I was with you."

"Oh, she already knew," he replies with a small laugh, "But even if she didn't, it would have been fine."

"What do you mean, she knew?"

"Well, I guess I don't know for certain, but I'm quite sure Ruthie blabbed to Heidi, and Heidi called up Megan, or wrote on their group chat with April... Yeah, probably the group chat. And then Megs had to call me to... Well, I'm not sure. Confirm? I think she was going to give me grief about the cane, but maybe she decided not to when she realized you could hear her." He smiles at me. "You're useful. You can stay."

"Oh thanks. I'll unpack my bags when we get back, now that I have your permission," I droll out.

"Yeah?" He looks at me expectantly.

"Fuck, Theo, I don't know... Cal is the only one who has ever truly cared about me. He took care of me when no one else gave a shit. I mean, yeah, he's... a lot, but he has his reasons. He is an amazing guy..."

Theo nods. "Yeah, I know that. But?" He glances over at me. "I know there's more to it than that, or you wouldn't keep thinking about leaving."

"He's married!"

Theo nods again. "He is."

"How can I compete with that?"

Theo glares at me, and I have to remind myself that Cal's wife is his sister. I look away from him and sigh. "I know you think I'm being pitiful, or awful, or whatever, but you don't get it. It fucking hurts seeing them together. How can I be okay with him being with someone else? He loved me! He took care of me and protected me!"

When the last words come out of my mouth, I realize that I'm shouting again, and that there are tears on my cheeks. Embarrassed, I turn away to look out the side window and attempt to pull myself together.

Theo's quiet while I compose myself. The glove compartment in front of me pops open, and from the corner of my eye I see Theo's hand offering me a small pack of Kleenex.

I take them from his hand and pull one out to dab against my face. After a few deep breaths, I turn back to him and say a soft, "Thanks."

"No problem."

It's quiet for a minute, and then Theo speaks again. "And what about him?" He glances at me. "Who protected Cal?"

I frown at his question. "You make me sound selfish. It's not like I didn't try to help him. He wouldn't let me."

"That's not what I asked," he says gently, then repeats his question, "Who protected Cal, Emilia?"

I turn away to look out the window again, but Theo doesn't leave it alone.

"Who protected—"

"No one! No one, okay?! But I didn't know how to help him! No one did! How is that my fault?!"

"It's not your fault. Of course it's not. Like you said, Cal's a lot, and he has his reasons for that. Reasons that are impossible to understand for most."

You can say that again.

"But you know who did help him? You know who he counts on to protect him now?" Theo only glances at me for a second, then looks at the road again.

I don't answer him, but this time he doesn't push me. He doesn't have to, because the answer to his question is obvious.

Fucking April.