The Happiness

Sameer

The house had been milling with relatives and extended family, some of whom I had never met before. Bizzare, they have come over and it seems like they have occupied our personal space. Never mind, its all for the impending wedding and hence I don't mind. My heart is full with happiness and joy thrums through my veins. The skip in my step and the beam on my face is not unnoticed by everyone. Especially my Naanu, who has always given my happiness more importance. Though he still needs that occasional oxygen support since he is still in the process of healing yet he is in good stead and the doctor had to say that he needs to be happy and away from tension. Well that is well in place it seems, since he is too happy and always happy.

When I first told him about NAINA and how am in love with her. He couldn't have been happier, he had kissed my forehead and told me that we would go see her and her family in a day or two. And when I further informed that her family was eager to get her married and that prospective grooms were already doing rounds at her place with their respective families, he had picked up the receiver at home and asked for her number from me. when I blurted it all out in one go, he had smiled and ruffled my hair. Naina's tauji had picked the call up and when he heard who had called him, he couldn't have been happier. And when naanu proposed the alliance between Naina and me, well it felt like Tauji would almost leap through the receiver and be at my grandfather's feet right away. He seemed elated, rather relieved.

I had known about her situation at home. She hailed from a conservative family where girls are considered to be burdens, so it was no wonder that her tauji sounded relieved. That was that, next thing I knew we were seated on their sofa, chitchatting while I kept peeking here and there for that one glimpse. It already felt like I had not seen for ages now and every second the restlessness would go a notch higher. As if on cue naanu had looked in my direction and simply smiled. Next he beckoned for naina's tauji and whispered something into his ears. Tauji's expression suddenly turned tight though he continued to smile and called at his wife.

Next I knew, I was being led to a room where naina already sat in a pink saree, her hair loose, staring at the floor in utter concentration. My heart had thudded the loudest and fastest in my chest as I had made my way to that one empty chair just opposite her. I sat gingerly and cleared my throat a good 2 to 3 times for her to look in my direction. But she wouldn't budge rather the floor seemed more interesting to her. I had been nervous, I didn't know how she would react to all of this, I mean I knew I love her but what about her feelings, what if she says no! what if she is repulsed at the thought of marrying me? such random thoughts invaded my thoughts while I shifted in my seat and Naina kept looking at the floor. So when I finally gathered enough courage to speak up Naina spoke first, breaking my thoughts. And what she said, knocked the wind out of me. she loves me, that had been the first thought when I heard her confess. She loves me, I could feel myself dancing within, leaping up from the chair reaching for the sky! She loves me and then when she told me about the impending pregnancy. I had mellowed down, not because I am not happy, well, then I was more like what? When was she planning on telling me this? I am gonna be a father! She is pregnant with my child. I couldn't stop myself from calling out on her, and when she looked up, she had been surprised, happy, relieved and confused. So many expressions flitted across her features and I had just stood up and made my way towards her hall and then when we were leaving she had been leaning against the door frame eyeing me while I had simply smiled.

The drive home had almost been in a daze, her confession that she loves me and also that she is pregnant with my baby were the only two thoughts that lingered along in my psyche. Naanu prattled on about all the things that need to be done now, the florist, decorators and also the clothes and shagun jewellery while my mind meandered around as to when we had last been together without protection since I wanted to desperately know as to how many along she is. Not that I doubted that the child isn't mine, that I am 2000 percent sure about, but its just curiosity.

So after coming back home, when my mind refused to lay at rest. I rushed to the local library the next day. I remember colliding into Munna and Pandit on the way, and when I broke the news about where I was headed to, the two almost had a heart attack. Well I had not bothered explaining and rushed and when I reached there, enquired about the books on pregnancy, the female librarian, had assessed me from head to toe as if I am some aliens with giant horns. Never mind! So I sat an entire day doing exhaustive studying about pregnancy and well a lot of interesting facts came to the fore for me. and one such fact jumped up at me from the pages. Well sometimes women are known to have bleeding during their pregnancy, in most cases its normal since the bleeding isn't heavy and is commonly known as spotting. It usually happens when the embryo implants itself into the mothers womb. But sometimes when the bleeding is heavy, it can be a cause of concern, it could be a clot in the uterus. I sat stunned with this piece of information since I remembered that the last time before we were together, there had been a scare that Naina had been pregnant since her dates were delayed. But then she had informed me that she got her periods. Now my level of worrying graduated to being anxious, is it a difficult pregnancy, is she still bleeding, or the bleeding that she had then was from implantation or may be she hadn't been pregnant then, but after that may be she conceived. Since we had been intimate quite a few times once her bleeding had stopped. Gosh! I had to know how many weeks along she is!

So with every intention of knowing the same I went in for Preeti's wedding. And once I spotted her in a pink suit, decked up with light make up and jewelry, I fell once again deep in love with the woman. She sensed my presence, our eyes met and somewhere I could see the urgency, she had beckoned at me even. Wow! She too wanted to speak to me, or so I had thought, until I got cornered by Tauji and the plethora of relatives who were apparently eager to meet Naina ka honewala Dulha, the never ending introduction started and each one had a different compliment to give. Some had to say I look dapper in my dress pants and shirt, some loved my watch, while some felt my hair danced in the wind just fine. I had to smile and greet each one of them . though she tried in vain to come to me with a tray full of tea and refreshments, she got pulled up by her taiji in the middle. I could tell from afar that she was getting reprimanded for being a banshee but couldn't catch the entire tirade, just in bits and pieces. One being that she is not allowed to see me before the wedding.

And since then on she would get waylaid either by her taiji or her chachiji, calling out to her for various chores relating to various rasms. I saw her running helter skelter for the same and I my heart had skipped a beat, in this condition, she shouldn't be running around like that what if she stumbled and fell. I had shuddered at my own thoughts but kept a cool though my eyes remained trained on her from afar. Somehow I managed to get my hands on a slip of paper, that had been in my pocket for long. The pen had been a staple with me since recently, after I joined naanu in his business. So I scribbled a note and got hold a small boy who had been from the groom's side and gestured towards her to give. He ran to her and gave her the note and while she held it she looked at me with trepidation while gingerly unfurling the notes, smoothening its creases. I felt her lips twitch, not in a smile but a smile that she was trying to hold back and then I saw her turn and leave. She had vanished into thin air as if and I was left there to stew. But when all the other rasms, the entire wedding got over and the vidai had everyone crying and hugging each other, I felt a something being slipped into my palms. The same small boy had slipped the same piece of paper in there. I looked up, scanning the crown zoning in on the bride, since it was naina who was hugging her now. She looked at me and nodded.

After that as if in a blur, I had said my goodbyes, smiled a little more and rushed out the door. Once back in my car, I had taken out the note and opened it and looked at the answer to my question that she had scribbled in her neat and calligraphic penmanship. I had asked about the number of weeks she was along and whether she is bleeding. And she had say, that though she had some initial bleeding but now she is ok and the doctor had confirmed the same. Also that she is 9 weeks along. 9 weeks! Wow! Did that mean, that the said period at the time was implantation bleeding instead! Gosh!

So that had been the only conversation that I could manage with her. Since then though I had tried getting her on the phone, but then everyone except for her picked up the phone. I wanted to know more. As to whether she was taking any additional vitamins or medicines. Food rich in folic acid or for that matter a folic acid supplement. Its quite important or so had I read during my research on the topic in the library. But then everytime her taiji and chachiji would pick the call up and tell me that she is busy with some silly ritual and that soon she would be there with me 24/7. Hence I have to wait and this wait is excrutiating, never mind, I have people over here keeping me anguished and entertained for example my mother.

My mother is not very thrilled, not at the idea of me getting married, but , me getting married to a plain jane with no assets or whatsoever to offer from her end. My maami ji had been harping all day as to if I would have agreed she could have arranged for girls from high and mighty families and whose families would have offered the world. World as in when I enquired, well she had so gold, diamonds, land, estates everything. Exasperating! that had been my thought. They kept sniggering and complaining all about NAINA and her family. How middle they were, that they were no match to our family. How she looked below average in comparison to me. My step father, well I don't know how he mattered here, but when he had landed himself here in this house and plonked on to the sofa in the living room and he added to the tirade of my mother and maamiji. Well he believed that he could butt in with his precious opinion into my life. Well not welcome. I had voiced the same in a room full of people including the extended family. Mr Somani had fumed and gone all red in the face, my mother had hollered at me, calling me already henpecked, saying that it was all Naina's doing. A retort had been dancing on my tongue but somehow, I controlled myself. Drama! All they wanted to create is Drama! Gosh! I just wanted this wedding to be over so that all these individuals left for good and next I wouldn't even invite them for my baby's naamkaran.

Baby! Wow! The child is not even born yet am safeguarding his or her interests here! Her! It should be a her, like Naina, I want her to have hair like mine and eyes like Naina. She would be a gorgeous amalgamation of us both! I cant wait to meet her. Though am excited, yet am nervous at the same time, you see my childhood hasn't been the most perfect. I had my issues with my mother, always, like I could never stand my step father and vice versa. I would rebel, run away from every other boarding school that I was forced to attend, until I took refuge under my Naanu. My mother had been belligerent and she had screamed her lungs out at me at the time. But I would never listen. The fact that she gave up on me even before she knew me as her son never went down with me. I would see her shower her unconditional love upon Rohan and Deepika, whereas for me she would only have admonishments instead. Sometimes it would pain within yet I chose to ignore that pain and put up a cynical shield instead. That helped until Naina came along and started peeling those layers one after the other until she had peeled them all. No one knew me like her. She is my refuge, my solace, my soulmate.

I could see my friends munna and pandit running pillar to post to make all the arrangements. They have been real busy since the wedding got fixed, since naanu had entrusted all duties upon them. Though I could tell they weren't really sure about this wedding and also about my motives. You see my friends still cant believe that I am ready to pledge myself to that one woman especially when they had seen me go through innumerable of them and not even waiting for a week before moving on to the other. My dalliance had been infamous. These two even sat me down when I came back from Naina's place hearing about the wedding, they tried to dissuade me to jump into something and make a pledge so soon since I wouldn't be able to change it later. But I had just smiled and patted them on the back and told that I am sure as hell, but looking at their expressions am not so sure they think the same about me. wait till they know about the pregnancy, hahahah! They would be shell shocked but I know they would be jubilating all the same!

Naina

Tick tock, tick tock! The clock had been ticking and I had been staring at it since the longest time as if transfixed. Preeti had tried to shake me out of my riverie quite a few time, I would blink once and twice look at her and let all that she would be saying at the time float away. And hence now she was asleep. She is back from her sasural for my wedding now. Which is to take place in two days. Two days and I would be leaving this house, two days until I marry the man to whom I have surrendered it all, two days until I become his forever, two days till my baby wouldn't be illegitimate any more. My feelings are jumbled mess, I don't know whether to call myself happy or anxious, since am both. We are yet to discuss about the child. Though I am touched at his concern. The other day when he came for preeti's wedding, I could tell when he peeked through the crowd of people trying to spot me, that he was restless. May be he was trying to say something. I had moved with trepidation towards him, since I didn't know actually as to what he thought about us and whether he loved me. though I had poured my feelings out he was yet to confess about his own and what if this marriage is all because he felt guilty that he had made me pregnant. But then when he came with the proposal he didn't know, things didn't match up. We really needed to talk. Hence on the pretext of offering him tea and refreshments, I had tried to move to his side but then taiji had butted in. the woman always had the worst timing. And then she had to give a long lecture about how I was being inappropriate and that in this fashion I might just bring bad name to the family. She would have screamed and hollered had it not been Preeti's wedding. And then she had to call my chachiji and instructed her to keep me by her side and engage me with other activities. I had noticed from the corner of my eyes, that he had noticed the entire drama and had been eyeing me with curiosity from afar. Though taiji hadn't been loud enough for all the guests at the wedding to hear but then she was loud enough for sameer to hear atleast some of what she had to say to me. hence we maintained our distances for the rest of the evening rather forced to maintain so. I could feel his eyes on me all along though and then he had slipped that paper with his questions. I had almost smiled at his concern but somehow held on and wrote my answer. Since then he had tried to contact me through phone but then the phone is out of limits for me. am not allowed in close vicinity of it. So he had called and both Chachiji and taiji had told him that I am busy with some rituals or tending to some relatives.

So now we are to wait , two days and everything would change.

Sameer

I had been trying the sherwani and smiling to myself, not because I looked dapper but because finally I had a solution, and that finally I am to meet my love today and we would be going to the doctor straight. Well how did I manage the feat? Finally! So since the time that taiji had decided to meddle in between me and Naina, I too had decided that I wouldn't let her be successful this time. So I kept grabbing at ideas in the dark and finally I could find a loop. Well you see our family had a tradition that on the first night the groom gifted the bride something, and usually the something was to be a piece of jewellery and I had selected a ring! Well now the ring has to have a size and for that I needed Naina. Well it had not been a smooth sailing like it seems you see the cunning taiji had said that we could send the jeweler over or rather the address of the same jeweler, and they could arrange for Naina to go with them and give the size but then I had insisted that it is important that Naina goes with us, us meaning me and Naanu, though the actual plan is different. Naanu had helped like always and he with authoritarian voice, had made it clear, that he would take it as an offence if his request is not complied with and hence now the bride's family had to give in eventually. So now as I was trying in my sherwani which had just arrived from the tailor, I was also waiting for the door bell to ring. This time in eager anticipation. Well naanu had made it clear that he would want naina to come with us without any chaperones since she is to be the bahu and she needs to trust us and also her family. Her chachaji has promised to bring her here sharp at 12pm and now when am in the process of squinting at the watch I hear the door bell.

She had been sitting quite, we are in the car finally alone. When her chachaji came to drop her, he had sat with naanu for a while. He seemed to be a nice guy. They had chatted for a while before he left, naanu had assured that naina would be well looked after and also that I would drop her home once we were done at the jewelers. He had simply smiled and left. Then naina had touched naanu's feet which he had not let her saying that girls don't touch feet rather they hug to get their blessings and he had hugged her and smiled. And then he had asked hme to take her to the jewelers, which I had no plans of, you see I already know her size. Once we had gone shopping in our college days and one of the silver rings that she had worn at the time needed some repair. She had dragged me along and there I had gotten to know about her ring size among other things. And I don't know why but it had stuck with me I had remembered so the ring that I have chosen for her already has the perfect size.

So when I ushered her towards the car, she had looked back couple of times as if waiting for someone to follow. She had no clue about my plans, I had smiled and told her that naanu would stay in and that we are would be going together alone and not to the jeweler but to the doctor. The big brown eyes had looked at me in awe. And then she had simply slipped on to the front seat without further questions and the stoic silence remained.

Am amazed at how we are able to pour our hearts to each other all those times yet now we remained so quite even I didn't know what to say next. For the first time in many years I am speechless. Never mind this silence to feels like home. It is not the kind with questions and anxiety but it is the kind with promises, with solace, with calmness. Wow! Poetic. The thoughts crisscrossed through my mind while we reached our destination. It is one of the plush clinics here in Ahmedabad, only the high and mighties came here. I saw her gawking through the window of the car. While I made my way outside. When I helped her step out of the car and led her to the reception she uttered her first sentence.

Naina: what if someone sees us here?

Sameer: don't worry

That is all I said while I led her towards the doctors's cabin, hand on her lower back guding her every step.

the doctor happened to be lady in her fifties, I had asked around about her. Oh! What a task it had been, I had to ask my Bhabhi since Poonam Bhabhi had been expecting and she had been seeing a gynaec so I thought she would be the best candidate to answer. She had looked at me quizzically the first time I had posed her the query and then I had nonchalantly rubbed my head with my hand saying that one of my college friends is expecting and she is having some complications and hence she had been asking around for any good options for second opinion. Then she had answered and brought up the name of this very doctor, whose appointment was hard to get and apparently she is the best, Dr Sushila Gutgutia. Even Poonam bhabhi couldn't get her appointment so she had to see the second best. She gave me five options ranging from the best to the 5th best and luckily for me the best clicked. So now we are here and the lady seemed to be pleasant. She looked at us both and I had commented that that we looked fairly young to which I had mumbled that we were newly married. Then she had led naina to the adjoining examination room while she asked me to wait. I waited restlessly tapping my feet on the ground. I looked around the room, I could see the pictures depicting the human anatomy, that of bones and then on one wall I saw pictures of babies, one had a little girl with two small teeth grinning, I smiled imagining our daughter. At the very moment the doctor and Naina walked in, their expressions remained neutral. While naina took a seat beside me the doctor simply sat and started scribbling on a prescription. I looked from one to the other. Wouldn't she say something? Not being able to contain my curiosity I simply asked.

Sameer: is everything alright doctor

Dr Sushila: all good Mr Maheshwari, infact we are taking you both now to the ultrasound room

Sameer: but then you said all good

Dr. Sushila: ya hence the ultrasound, don't you want to see you baby? Let me finish writing the prescription, your wife is to take these vitamins daily without fail along with the folic acid supplement and make sure she is not taking too much stress and not straining herself a lot. She needs to rest, sleep and eat well.

Stumped, bowled out, am gonna see my baby for the first time

Naina

I could see the stunned expression on his face, of all the things he hadn't been expecting this. It seemed comical but then I am excited to see my child, is he too? When the doctor led me to her examination room, this time I had been taken aback at the wide array of instruments that laid around along with the examination bed at the centre. She had asked me to lay down while she adjusted her chair by the bed while she brought in close a table with an instrument that looked somewhat weird, when she asked me to pull back my kurta so that she could check I got to know about the use of that very instrument it was used to hear the baby's heartbeat. It beat so fast, my god, I had looked alarmed to her since she reassured me that its normal and that given that my pregnancy had advanced almost 9 weeks it is safe to take an ultrasound and see the baby. So the reaction that sameer is giving now I had given somewhat the same in there.

We are to meet our baby

She led us to a room where there was a single sed placed at the centre, the room had the cooling effect from the air conditioner that seems to be on for long. I almost shivered at the impact when I felt his arms go around me pulling me close as if trying to warm me up. The room seemed bare except for the big tv like monitor placed at the corner adjacent to the bed in a way that when you lay down on the bed you could look at it. There were a few medical tools that lay in close vicinity and also a desk with chairs. I believe its where after the ultrasound they do the consultation. The doctor was no where to be seen but the nurse instructed me to change in to a gown while she led Sameer to one the chairs. Once I had changed she asked me to lay down on the bed and informed that the doctor would be here with us shortly. Sameer then walked in and sat next to me on the bed holding my hand. At the moment the doctor walked in, she too had changed in hospital scrubs, she beckoned for sameer to move so that she could sit on the adjoining chair. She sat while simultaneously instructing the nurse to pull my gown up. The nurse did as per and slathered something jelly and cold on my abdomen, sameer stood in one corner while it all happened and then the doctor brought in a substance, that looked like a large pen with a a ball attached at the end, she brought the ball closer to my abdomen placing it there rubbing it along. In that instant I saw the giant tv light up all at once and the doctor turned towards it while she kept rubbing the tool over my belly. I felt somewhat ticklish but held on to the giggles some how.

Dr: now you both say hello to your baby, see its saying hello

She beckoned for us to looked. Our eyes met for once and we both looked awestruck and confused, we did look at the screen but couldn't understand anything, it all looked like some grainy patch with wait, I could see a shadow, is that the head, no the hand, oh it's the baby, its so tiny, almost a speck. My eyes immediately went to Sameer, I saw him being transfixed at the screen when the doctor, showed us its beating heart. The room that had been silent till now reverberated, in a fast but steady rhythm of our child's heartbeat. Our child, our baby, a miracle that we both had created. He walked up to me bending down on his knees while he took my hand in his and kissed it ever so softly, I felt something wet on my palms, when he looked up I saw he had been crying but he had the sweetest smile to give me. tears of joy.

So that's chapter 2, hope you all like it.