It's a rainy day at the Loud House; Lana ran down the walkway, opened the front door, and entered the living room carrying mud.

Lana: In a couple more hours, this mud will be perfect to play in!

She splashes the mud all over her face.

Lily was sitting on the floor crying. Luan was folding laundry on the coffee table, while Lola, Lisa, Lori and Leni are on the couch. Lola was admiring herself in her pocket mirror, Lisa was looking back and forth at a clipboard and a set of test tubes, Lori was talking to Bobby, and Leni was doing Lori's nails.

Luan: Hey, guys, why can't a comedian tell a dirty laundry joke? 'Cause it always comes out clean! Hahaha, get it?

Lynn bounces a basketball off the wall in the background.

Lynn: She shoots! She scores!

Luna enters the scene, holding a radio toward her ear and listening to a Mick Swagger song.

Mick: [on radio] "♫ Transformation, transformation / A citizen of the rock and roll nation! ♫"

Luna: (in a British accent) I bloody love this song! Sing it like you mean it, Mick!

Lucy pokes her head out of the fireplace, making Luna jump in terror.

Luna: BLIMEY!

Lucy: I'm trying to write here.

Lori: (on the phone, to Bobby) No, I love you more, silly. It's our six-week-iversary.

Leni: You two are like, gonna be together for, like, ever.

Lisa: Speaking of forever, Lori, my study indicates you haven't used the bathroom in quite some time.

Lori: EWW! There is no way I'm being in your grody poop study!

Lincoln appears in the doorframe between the living room and dining room. Then began to speak to the viewers.

Lincoln: Ah, rainy days. Perfect for hanging out with the family and reading comics.

Lola, while looking in her mirror, sees Lincoln throwing off his shirt and pants in its reflection.

Lola: Groooooss!

Lincoln: What?

Lola: Why do you always have to read your comics in your underpants?!

Lincoln: 'Cause reading my comics with my clothes on is uncomfortable and distracting. And you know how I like to be comfortable while reading comics. Now, scootch!

Lincoln took a seat between Lola and Lisa; Lola, repulsed, jumps onto the armrest.

Lola: ACK! It's an annoying habit and you get butt germs everywhere!

Lincoln: Me, annoying? You can't even look away from the mirror for five seconds!

Lola: LIES!

Lola however, was looking in her mirror rather than at Lincoln. She looked back, closes the mirror, and smiles sheepishly.

Lincoln: And Lori, would it kill you not to talk to Bobby all the time?!

Lori: I do not talk to Bobby all the time!

Then she spoke to Bobby, over the phone.

Lori: Do I, Bobby?

Lincoln: And Lisa, you always do your weird poop studies!

Lisa: It's quite fascinating work.

Lincoln: See? You guys couldn't last ten minutes without doing your annoying things!

Lori: We could last a lot longer than you!

Lincoln: I bet you couldn't!

Lola: Oh, really? Care to make it a little more interesting?

She hops onto the couch crest, and walks back and forth.

Lola: If we can stop doing our things longer than you can stop doing yours, then you have to give up reading in your underwear... FOREVER!

She raises her fist.

Loud Sisters minus Lily: YEAH!

Lincoln: Hold it! What's in it for me?

Lola: If you win, we'll never complain about your butt cooties again.

Lincoln: Okay. But if I beat you, you also have to buy me these beauties.

He opens up an underwear catalog and points to a circled picture of red briefs.

Lincoln: Pure cotton, 2,000 thread count, non-binding elastic. I'll just call them my victory undies.

The girls go into a huddle and discuss the deal, whispering unintelligibly. Lola looked back once as they do.

Lola: Deal.

Lincoln: Great! So, if I have to read comics with my clothes on, Lola can't look in the mirror...

Lola closes her mirror, surprised.

Luna: [British accent] Rock and roll!

Lincoln: ...Luna can't speak in a British accent...

Luna puts her hand over her mouth, also shocked.

Lana was running for the front door.

Lana: MUUUUUD!

Lincoln: ...Lana can't play in the mud...

She turned back and walks slowly, dejected.

Lana: Dang it.

Lori: No, I love you more, silly.

Lincoln: ...Lori can't talk to Bobby...

Lori hung up the phone.

Lori: Bobby who?

Lincoln: ...Leni can't say 'like'...

Leni: Like, okay.

She grins sheepishly.

Lincoln: ...Lucy can't pop up and scare people...

Lucy backs her head into the fireplace.

Lincoln: Lisa has to give up her weird studies...

Lisa: Forgive me, science.

She said apologetically.

Lincoln: ...Luan can't tell bad jokes...

Luan literally zips her mouth shut.

Lincoln: Lynn can't turn everything into a sport...

Lynn was holding a broom like a hockey stick, then dejectedly starts sweeping normally.

Lincoln: ...and Lily can't cry.

Lily puts her pacifier in her mouth.

Loud Sisters: DEAL!

Lynn: Wait, hold on? What about Leo?

Lincoln: What about him? I don't think there's any annoying habit he does. Well, maybe tend to Glynda almost everyday, but that's normal to keep up with her.

Lynn: No. I mean because we'll need a referee to help keep track and make sure that there's no bias and no one to make any excuses when they get eliminated.

Lisa: She's right. There is a chance that any loopholes could sow discord and cause this challenge to fall apart.

Lucy: Plus he's the most neutral sibling out of all of us. He doesn't play favorites.

Lori: Well where is he?

Lana: Right there in the dining room.

Everyone looked and saw Leo was sitting by the table with headphones on and was reading a book. Having been oblivious to everything around him.

Lana: Hey Leo! Leo! Come here for a second big bro.

Leo however didn't respond.

Lincoln: He can't hear us.

Lynn: I got this.

Lynn picked up her basketball and threw it at him. Knocking the book on the table and making him fall back.

Leo: OW! HEY!?

Looking up he saw his siblings looking at him, picking up Lynn's ball he walked up to them.

Leo: (annoyed) There better be a good reason why you guys almost just took my head off and cause damage to mom's dining room.

Lola: We actually do big bro.

They explained to him what they were doing and why they needed him.

Leo: Oh sweet! It's been a while since I got to play Mils Lane.

Lola: Uhhh, who?

Lynn: Only one of the greatest boxing referees to ever live. You could punch him on accident, and he wasn't gonna go down that easy.

Leo: I used to be the referee whenever Lori, Leni, and Luna would have their own challenges. I had a unique way of reffing. Alright I'll do it. But remember any decisions I make you can't argue. Got it?

Loud Siblings: Got it.

Leo went up to the attic and got a blue striped shirt to signal his position.

Lola: Alright we got our ref and we know the stakes. Pants up, buddy boy!

Lincoln: Okay, competition...

He puts on his pants.

Lincoln: starts...

He puts on his shirt.

Lincoln: ...now!

Leni: Wait, like, I wasn't clear on the rules.

Lori: Leni, you can't... say... 'like'!

Leni: Oh, got it.

Leo: (Mils Lane impression) Alright now I want a good clean match. That means no weapons and no biting. And before we begin I just want you all to know, I've got a baguette and I know how to use it. Let's get it on.

A bell sounded, signaling the official start of the bet.

Leni: I'm, like, totally gonna win this.

A red "X" appears over her face, and a buzzer sounds.

The girls groan.

Lucy appears next to her siblings.

Lucy: Nice going.

They jump in terror while Leo meowed like a cat surprised. Then a red "X" appears over Lucy's face, and a buzzer sounds.

Lucy: Dang it.

Leo: Leni and Lucy Loud, that's a double elimination. Youuurrr out!

Lola: Come on, ladies, stay focused!

Lincoln: Two down. I can practically smell those victory undies. Wait, let me rephrase that!

Leo: Poor choice of wording Linc.

TIMESKIP

The girls are all lying down, bored. Leo stood still, arms crossed and waited.

Lola was putting her makeup on unevenly.

Lola: See? I don't even need a mirror to put my makeup on.

Lincoln: Leo?

Leo: Rules are she can't look in a mirror. I'll allow it.

Lola: Comfy over there, Lincoln?

Lincoln was shifting around, uncomfortable.

Lincoln: Yep. Just about... to dive... ugh... into my... comics. Agh. Leo how did you ever do this?

Lola: Ref can't give advice to either party.

Leo: She's right Linc. Gotta figure that one out on your own.

Lola smiled sinisterly. Then Lori's ringtone plays an electronic version of "Here Comes the Bride" signaling that Bobby was calling. Lori whimpers as she tries to press the hang-up button.

Lola presses the button for her.

Lola: Control yourself, woman!

Lori sighs, exasperated. Luan and Lynn are folding laundry.

Lynn: Well, nothing sporty about folding laundry.

Luan: Or funny.

Lana meanwhile looks big-eyed through the window, watching Charles and Cliff play happily in the mud out in the rain. She then gets down on all-fours and runs toward the door like a dog, but Lola steps in front of her.

Lola: NO! Lana, HEEL!

Lana paws on the door, whimpering, but Lola sharply pointed the other way; Lana runs toward Charles' doggy bed and curls down in it, sad.

Luna: (Swedish accent) Herdie, verdie, verdie. Easy peasy, I just svitched to Svedish, ja?"

Lincoln: Leo?

Leo: Accent? Yes. British. No. I'll allow it.

Lisa: You poor, fragile Homo sapiens.

Lori's ringtone plays again. But Luna grabs the phone.

Luna: I vill take dat, ja?

Lori holds the phone for a tug-o-war.

Lori: No you von't! Dah, I mean won't!

She wrestles with Luna for the phone in a tug-o-war.

Lori: GIMMIE!

While both girls fight, grunting all the while, they bump into the laundry basket, causing a folded pair of socks to bounce out. Lynn watched the bundle bounce in slow motion and imagines it as a basketball. Basketballs appear in her eyes.

Lynn: Basket...ball...

Loud sisters minus Lily: DON'T DO IT! DON'T DO IT!

Lynn hits the bundle into the basket.

Lynn: TWO POINTS!

She throws the remaining sock bundles in rapid succession

Lynn: TWO POINTS! TWO POINTS! TWO POINTS! TWO POINTS! TWO POINTS! TWO POINTS! YAAAAAAY-AH!"

She jumps into the air for a victory pose. And a red "X" appears over her face, and a buzzer sounds.

Leo: Youuuurrrr out!

Lincoln: Buh-bye.

Lincoln continues to struggle in his clothes; he loudly groans.

Lincoln: Maybe the pants are the problem.

He goes toward the laundry basket and looks at some of the pants.

Lincoln: Too scratchy... too tight... too far after Labor Day... Oh, these are perfect!

Bobby suddenly appears pressed outside the window.

Bobby: Babe! Why aren't you answering my calls?!

He begged. Lori looks forlornly at Bobby, puts her hand on the window, then looks away.

Lori: Forgive me, my love.

She draws the curtains over the window.

Leo: She did not address said love interest directly in the eye or use any cringey pet names. I'll allow it.

Lori then notices something.

Lori: Lincoln, why are you wearing my leggings?!

Lincoln was now wearing Lori's leggings.

Lincoln: Hey, you never said I had to wear my pants. Plus, these are so comfy!

Lori: Leo?

Leo: You said he needed to wear pants. But you and the other Loud sisters failed to specify that it indeed had to be his. I'll allow it.

Lori: We'll, good luck. Cause those are the ones that really...ride up on ya.

Lincoln began to walk away.

Lincoln: Sure, Lori, you're just trying to mess with my--HELLO! Yep, those are ridin'!

He walks while pulling the seat area of the leggings down.

Luna is holding the radio toward her ear, and she listens to an announcement.

Jay Rock: Hey, cats and kittens, this is Jay Rock here! I'm giving away Mick Swagger tickets to the caller with... the best British accent!

Luna's eyes widen, looks back and forth, and slinks away to behind the curtains; she signals for Bobby to shoo, and she calls the radio station on her cellphone.

Jay Rock: Hello, you're on the air! Let's hear your best British accent.

Luna: (whispering, in the accent) Come on, love, hand over those tickets.

Jay Rock: Yeah, sorry, caller, I can't hear you!

Luna: (whispering, slightly louder) Come...on love, hand over those tickets!

Jay Rock: If you don't speak up, you can't win!

Luna: (Angrily shouting) HAND OVER THE BLEEDING TICKETS, MATE!

Lincoln and Leo drew back the curtains to reveal Luna to the others. She sheepishly switches back to Swedish.

Luna: Herdie verdie?

Leo: Ouuuut!

A red "X" appears over her face, and a buzzer sounds.

TIMESKIP

Lincoln was struggling to read his comic, and he pulled back the seat of the leggings.

Lincoln: Ugh, I've read the same panel twenty times!

Then there's a knock at the door.

Lincoln: Who's there?

Bobby: Bobby!

Lincoln got an idea.

Lincoln: (slyly addresses Luan) Bobby who?

Luan was about to prepare to give a punchline, but Lola silences her.

Lola: Don't you DARE answer that joke, Luan!

Lori: I gotta let him in!

Lori rushes to the door, and she fights with Lola to open it.

Bobby: Geez, how many Loud sisters does it take to open a door?!

Lola: Luan, do NOT answer that!

Luan was holding her cheeks, struggling to resist her urge to tell jokes.

Lori pointed the other direction to distract Lola.

Lori: Hey, look, free makeup samples!

Lola: Huh?

She puts Lola down.

Lori: HA!"

Lori opens the door to reveal Bobby on the other side; she stares adoringly at him.

Lori: Bobby!

Lana stared the same but at the mud Bobby is tracking; she stares adoringly at it.

Lana: MUD!

She rushed outside and jumps into a mud puddle, giggling maniacally; a red "X" appears over her face, and a buzzer sounds.

Lori: (In mid hug with Bobby) Happy six-week-iversary, Bobby-Boo-Boo-Bear!

A red "X" appears over her face, and a buzzer sounds.

Leo: Double elimination! Youuuurrrr ouuut! Also nice to see ya' Bobby. I see you recovered from that Rektainment special.

Bobby: (still hugging Lori) Yeah. Still a bit sore and the welts are still healing. But on the plus side my sister loved it and couldn't stop laughing. Not that I don't mind.

He stopped the hug but the love birds still had their arms at each other's shoulders.

Bobby: I'm glad to see you babe. I would have been here sooner, but I had to wait for a chicken to cross the road.

Leo: There was an actual chicken crossing the road?

Leo asked, surprised to hear that.

Lincoln: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Luan: TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE! TO RUN AWAY FROM THE COOK! TO PROVE HE'S NO CHICKEN!

Luan finally cracked and laughed hysterically.

Lola: "NOOOOOOOO!"

She tackles Luan. But it was too late, and Luan was catching her breath.

Luan: Sweet comic relief.

Leo: That last one was pretty good. But you still failed Luan.

A red "X" appears over her face, and a buzzer sounds.

Leo: Youuurrr out!

Lola growled in frustration.

Bobby: Here, babe, I brought you something special.

He handed Lori a milkshake.

Lori: Awww.

Lori took it and drank from it.

Bobby: It's the milkshake from our first date, six weeks ago.

Leo: Six weeks ago? Ooooh, that ain't fresh.

Lori's eyes widen, and her stomach begins to growl

Leo: That sounds like the time on Rektainment when I had to down a shot of blended ghost peppers after losing giant cup pong. It wasn't pretty.

Lori clenched her stomach and rushed up the stairs for the bathroom.

Lori: Coming through! Literally!

Lisa: *gasp* The missing piece of my gastrointestinal study!

Lisa ran upstairs for the bathroom; then they heard the door opening and Lori's screamed of embarrassment.

Lisa: Sweet mother of discovery!

Leo: I swear it may be science, but that's still concerning. Especially for a four year old.

Lisa made her way back downstairs and into the frame; a red "X" appears over her face, and a buzzer sounds, the "X" moves with her before disappearing.

Lisa: (to the viewers) Ah, I'm only human.

Leo: You're also out!

Lola: YOU PEOPLE ARE USELESS!

Lincoln: And then there were two.

Lola: You may have outlasted those amateurs, but now you've gotta deal with a REAL PROFESSIONAL!"

A dramatic spotlight is cast on Lola that Leo held over her, and she turns her face to reveal her uneven makeup; her eyelid makeup and lipstick are smeared across her face, her hair is messy and shaggy, and her pupils are blank and colorless.

Lincoln: I won't give up, for the sake of all things comfortable!

He snaps the seat of the leggings, causing him pain.

Lincoln: YIGH... gotta do something about these pants!

TIMESKIP

Lincoln is now wearing a pair of gray sweatpants.

Lincoln: Now these are pants I can read in!

He hops on the chair and continues reading.

Lincoln: You girls better start pooling your money, because I'm about to win this thing!

Lola: Then perhaps it's time to turn up the heat.

She turns the thermostat up from 70 to 98 degrees.

Lincoln: (begins to sweat) Whew, is it hot in here?

He walks over to the thermostat.

Lincoln: 98 degrees?! Leo?!

Leo: I'll allow it.

Lincoln: Grrr! So that's how she's gonna play it!"

TIMESKIP

Lola is walking down the stairs, and she sees Lincoln holding a rag.

Lola: Lincoln, what are you doing?

Lincoln: Just readin'. Oh, and I polished every surface of the living room. So shiny, you can see your face.

Lola sees that all the shiny surfaces around her bear her reflection. Realizing what he was up to, she quickly shields her eyes.

Lola: AAH! Must... not... look... at self! Beautiful... beautiful self!... LEO!?

Leo: I'll allow it.

She screams and runs for the kitchen, screaming.

Lincoln: And I also waxed the kitchen floor, too! Such reflection!

Lola screamed and ran back into the living room. So fast, she hits her face on the back of the chair, leaving an imprint of her makeup on it, she falls onto the floor, dazed.

Lola: THAT'S IT!

She hops onto the chair, with a pair of underwear in her hands.

Lola: Give it up, Lincoln! You know you want these!

She rubs the underwear on Lincoln's face.

Lola: Smell 'em! SMELL THAT COTTON! YOU KNOW YOU WANT 'EM!

Lincoln: I'm not giving up! You'd give up right now if you could see what's wrong with your face!

He holds up Lola's pocket mirror.

Lola: WHAT?! Guys, is there something wrong with my face?!

The girls clamor, trying to convince her otherwise.

Lola: LIES! LEO!?

Leo: I cannot confirm nor deny that statement. Dem's the rules.

Lola: AGH! SOMEONE GET ME A MIRROR!

She looks into a shiny doorknob, and she screamed at her hideous reflection

She dashed upstairs for her room, then came back down a few seconds later, back to her normal self.

Lola: Ahh, that's better.

A red "X" appears over her face, and a buzzer sounds.

Lincoln: I WIN!

Leo: No Linc wai-

He rips the sweatpants off.

Leo: -too late.

He mumbled.

Lincoln: The victory undies are mine!

He opens up the catalog.

Lincoln: Okay, ladies, pay up!

Lily throws her pacifier at Lincoln to get his attention.

Lincoln: Hey, Lily.

Lily looks up at Lincoln, and he comes to a startling realization.

Lincoln: (gasp) LILY!

Leo: I was trying to tell you that you still had one more sister to contend with. That being Lily here.

Lori: She didn't cry this entire time! That means...

The girls toss Lily into the air in victory.

Loud Sisters: LILY WINS!

They cheer for Lily, who laughs along with them.

Lincoln collapsed to the floor in defeat.

Lincoln; And I lost!

Lola: Well, Lincoln, guess you have to give up reading comics in your underwear forever!

A red "X" appears over Lincoln's face, and a buzzer sounds.

Leo: Guess it's true what they say. Pride comes before the fall. (Looks down at his brother in pity) Sorry Linc, but I'm just the ref. And not like Earl Hebner. I have to call it as it is. Sorry, but you're out.

TIMESKIP

Lola was back to doing her makeup in her mirror. As everyone was back to doing their habits.

Lola: Ahh, how I've missed this beautiful face.

Lincoln groans as he struggles to read his comic fully-clothed. He looked like he was miserable and being tortured. 

Lola looked at this display with pity and sympathy, and she looked at Leo who gave her a look that asked if she was really okay with that. Understanding, she sighed and closed her mirror.

TIMESKIP

There is a knock at the door, and Luan goes to answer it.

Luan: Who's there?

???: Delivery man.

Luan: Delivery man' who?

Delivery Man: Come on, kid, it's raining out here!

Luan: That's your punchline? You really need to work on your delivery.

She skips away, laughing. Then Lincoln comes up to answer the door.



Delivery Man: Package for...Lincoln Loud.

He hands Lincoln a package. Lincoln opens the package, and he gasps its contents: a pair of red briefs.

Lincoln: My victory undies! I don't get it!

Lori: We didn't order it for you. Leo?

Leo: Don't look at me. I was just the ref doing my job.

Lola: I did.

Loud Sisters minus Lily & Lola: (all annoyed) But he lost the bet!

Lola: Come on, you guys, we clearly can't give up our things. Why should Lincoln have to give up his? We should all accept each other's habits... (looks away in disgust) even if some of them are really, really gross.

Leo: Besides, I kinda used to do the same thing. Granted I did it behind closed doors as a courtesy for you girls, but the bottom line is I don't really have a problem about it.

The girls clamor in agreement; Lincoln runs for Lola and gives her a hug.

Lincoln: Thank you! (gets teary-eyed) They're almost too nice to wear.

Then he wipes his tears and sniffs.

Lincoln: But not that nice!

Lincoln rushed off and put his new undies on.

Lincoln spoke to the audience.

Lincoln: Ah, rainy days. There's nothing like doing the thing you love surrounded by the ones you love... and 2,000-thread-count undies.

Lincoln snaps his underwear and reads his comic book, surrounded by his sisters and brother, who are happily indulging in their habits.

Back outside Bobby was chasing a chicken in the rain.

Bobby: Chicken, come back! Why did you cross the road?!

Chicken: Get away from me ya' weirdo!!!

The End.