Trying not to fret, Istara followed the twisting path through the queen's private gardens, forcing herself to keep to a dignified walk. Tanu-Hepa's message had commanded Istara to come without delay. Perhaps her surrogate mother was displeased with her. Istara had not seen the queen for almost a month; her work at the surgery had been taking all of her time. She scolded herself, she should have attended Tanu-Hepa, to be absent from her court for so long was inexcusable.

She came to the doors of the queen's apartment and announced her arrival, occupying herself while she waited with tidying her hair and brushing the dust from her gown. It was unheard of to go to the queen without bathing, but she dare not disobey her command. Looking down at her plain attire, Istara felt a twinge of regret, wishing she had chosen to wear a nicer gown that day.

The doors opened. The queen's steward called Istara's name. She followed him upstairs to a balcony overlooking the garden. Tanu-Hepa sat alone before a table laid out with refreshments. She gestured Istara over, a warm smile on her lips.

"You are just in time," she said. "Come, join me. I was just about to take my afternoon sweet. The bakers have made our favorite today, honeyed almond cake. There is more than enough for both of us."

Despite the temptation of almond cake, Istara bowed her head. "My lady, I beg you, forgive me for neglecting my duties. You have always been so kind to me, and in return I have been selfish, pursuing my own interests."

She heard Tanu-Hepa click her tongue, something she always did when she was amused. "You are not my nurse maid. I have more than enough women to attend me, though I will not lie, I have always preferred your company the most. Come, sit, I would like to eat this before the flies arrive."

Istara hurried to join Tanu-Hepa, feeling the queen's eyes on her as she served the cake.

"I sent for you so we could celebrate. I understand today was to be your last day at the School--Oh. What is that beside you, wrapped in the blue cloth?"

"A gift from Master Hurik for completing my studies," Istara smiled as she handed it to Tanu-Hepa. "It is the symbol of healing from the times of the hero Gilgamesh."

Tanu-Hepa held it up to the sunlight, inspecting it. "Lord Hurik is generous," she murmured, impressed. "It is a wonderful treasure. But who is to say if it is not even older? It could be from the Golden Age when the gods lived among men; there really is no way to know."

Taking it back from her, Istara cradled it in the palm of her hand, delighted by the thought. "I cannot help but imagine what path it must have taken to arrive here, into my hands."

Tanu-Hepa held up her cup. Istara filled it. The queen took a sip and looked out over the gardens, drenched in brilliant shades of purple, blue and pink. "Urhi-Teshub returned this afternoon," she said, quiet. "I received his message just before you arrived. He has requested to dine with me this evening."

Istara's heart lurched. After seven years of silence, he had finally returned. She set aside the pendant. "Did he ask to see me?"

Tanu-Hepa brushed some crumbs from the table, down to the little birds waiting at her feet. "He did not, but you shall dine with us as my attendant. I will not allow him to prolong this nonsense of his. I have a plan, or rather, a ruse. When he arrives, I will not introduce you. He knows well he cannot ask your name if I do not offer it, so let us see how he behaves toward you without his prejudices blinding him, shall we?"

"My lady, I should like him to know it is me, as soon as he sees me. Perhaps, with so much time passed, he has forgotten the things he once said."

"Has he written to you, even once, in all these years?" Tanu-Hepa asked, soft.

Istara blinked at the blunt question. "He has not," she answered, her throat tight.

"We have one chance to show him he is wrong to cling to the past, of your being siblings." Tanu-Hepa set her cup aside. "Let us not waste it. Now, will you join me this evening, as my attendant?"

Istara bowed her head. "If it is your wish, I shall obey."

"It is my wish," Tanu-Hepa replied. "I would not have you live as I must live. Rather, I will do everything in my power to prevent it. Urhi-Teshub is a good boy, but he can be stubborn, so we must show him a way out of his stubbornness."

Istara blinked back the tears gathering in her eyes. All those years spent waiting, hoping, and at times dreaming of him--all of it, for nothing. After seven long, lonely years, he had returned and not asked for her.

❃

Behind the queen's chair, Istara stood waiting, nervous. Tanu-Hepa had overseen every detail of Istara's preparation. The queen's own attendants had bathed Istara, scenting her hair and body with rose oil. A runner had been sent to bring Istara's best gown, white, edged in silver. Her neck and arms glittered with silver jewelry, and little sprigs of jasmine had been woven into her unbound hair. She wore no cosmetics, Tanu-Hepa decided Istara didn't need them.

When they were finished, Tanu-Hepa brought out her bronze mirror. Istara had stared at her reflection, disbelieving. The woman gazing back at her was beautiful. Istara's heart swelled with hope, perhaps Urhi-Teshub would change his mind, maybe once he had seen her, he would want--

Tanu-Hepa's voice broke into her thoughts.

"Forget who Urhi-Teshub was to you before, tonight you must see him only as your husband. When he has overcome his issues, you may recall the past, but until then, you must be the woman to the man. This is my advice. Follow it well and he will be yours."

Before Istara could reply, the steward entered, announcing the arrival of the Crown Prince of Hatti. Istara's heart stopped, then juddered back to life. A dozen emotions surged through her, longing, hope, love. She pressed them down, striving to remain calm. She would not ruin this.

The door opened. Urhi-Teshub strode in and bowed. As he rose, his eyes went first to the queen, then moved to Istara, lingering, his interest clear. Istara felt a thrill course through her. He was nothing like she remembered. The years had hardened him; no longer was he a youth, but a man, full grown, his bearing regal and commanding. He turned his attention back to Tanu-Hepa and crossed the space to the dining table, to take his seat across from her.

They dined, with Istara serving them. She listened to their conversation, thrilling to the sound of Urhi-Teshub's deep voice, watching his strong hands moving as he ate, describing his adventures. When he was not looking, she allowed her gaze to travel over his hard, muscled body, his leather tunic taut against his chest, aware of delicious new sensations rippling through her.

She poured them more wine as they finished their last course. She handed him his cup. His fingers brushed against hers. She looked up, breathless. His eyes on her, he addressed his stepmother.

"How is it you have a goddess in your service and I have not heard of it?"

Blushing, Istara looked away, a delicious tingling deep in her torso, spread outward.

"Am I to send a message to you in the mountains every time a woman joins my court?" Tanu-Hepa smiled as she lifted her fingers to her lips, elegantly stifling a yawn. "Ah. It has been a long day, and I am tired. Perhaps you would like to walk in my gardens? It is such a fine night."

Urhi-Teshub rose. "A walk will do me well after such a feast." He bowed. "It has been a pleasure to see you, my lady mother."

"Why should you walk alone?" Tanu-Hepa asked, rising from her chair. Her gaze moved to Istara. "The moon is full and the night is warm, on a night like this one should have company."

Urhi-Teshub blinked, taken aback. "I do not understand. Will you not have need of your attendant?"

"I have others to serve me."

"Are you willing to walk with me, unaccompanied?" Urhi-Teshub asked Istara, uncertain.

Istara met his eyes, dark green, the flecks of gold within them catching the lamplight. "I am."

A door closed, soft. Istara looked back. They were alone. Her gaze moved back to Urhi-Teshub, his longing for her plain. He touched her face, tracing the contour of her cheekbone and jaw.

"I would know your name, goddess, for you have stolen my heart."

When Istara didn't answer, he smiled at her reticence, mistaking it for shyness, his fingers drifted to her lips, tracing their outline. Istara shivered, trembling under his touch. "I saw you this afternoon in the palace square," he murmured, "and have been able to think of nothing else since, except to find out who you are. I beg you, tell me your name." He lowered his hand and caught her wrists in his grip, lifting her hands to his lips, palm upward. He kissed them, enticing her, sending shivers up her spine.

"Let me take you to my bed tonight," he whispered against her palm. "Let me love you."

He looked down at her hands as his thumbs traced the lines on her palms. He stopped and pulled back, staring at her right hand. Realizing her mistake, Istara tried to pull away, but he caught her wrist, holding her firm in his grip as he tilted her palm up to the lamplight.

He looked up at her, his face hard. "You bear the scar of binding upon your palm, and yet you would come to me? What game do you and the queen play? Who is the man she would have me dishonor?"

"There is no dishonor," Istara answered, her heart aching, taut with hope and fear. "This scar binds me to the man I love, who left me seven years ago, and has not written to me since."

"Istara?" he breathed, releasing her so abruptly, she staggered. He backed away from her, sinking down onto his chair, staring at her, disbelieving. "It cannot be. In my mind you have always been a child, my sister, and yet, here you stand, a vision, my body betraying my heart. Even now, knowing what I know, I cannot stop myself from wanting you in my bed. No. It is wrong. I must go." In his haste to rise, he knocked over the chair. It fell against the marbled floor, hitting it with a sharp crack, its gilded frame splintering.

Gathering up her gown, Istara followed after him, anxious. "I beg you, stay. Let us sit and talk. There is so much I long to tell you. I have missed you so much."

His breathing ragged, he took her by her shoulders, his hands hurting her. "No. I will not stay. I will not see you. Not now. Not ever. I carved a toy horse for you. I gave you a puppy. I washed you in the river when you wet your blankets. I cannot cross that boundary. Why could you not have been a plain woman? At least then we could have met as friends, but this, what you have become--it is unbearable. You shame me."

Pushing away from her, he stumbled to the door and yanked it open. She sank to her knees, his words cutting her deep, listening to his footsteps fade as he left her life once more. She choked, her eyes filling with tears. All those years she had waited for him to come home, gilding her heart with hope, believing he would have changed his mind. Now, she knew the truth. She loved a man who could never love her back.

A door opened. A rustle of material. Tanu-Hepa's arms came around her, holding her, hushing her, kissing her brow. Istara clung to her, understanding all at once Tanu-Hepa's awful fate and what it meant to have everything, and nothing.