Media: Marvel Cinematic Universe with Studio C

Timeline: Before Avengers, but when doesn't matter.

Genres: Comedy, Crossover, Espionage/Spy, Parody, Superheroes

Summary: S.H.I.E.L.D. agents Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton are undercover in Rome, Italy to stop the city from being destroyed... plus some sight-seeing.

Notes: Shower idea while I was thinking about what could have possibly happened in Budapest, which led me to think about this Studio C video with Natasha and Clint in their place.

In the beautiful city of Rome, Italy, tourists and locals alike bustled around, enjoying the bright summer day. There were tables to sit with gelato or other Italian treats. Long lines wove around the city outside museums and landmarks. Salesmen walked around, shouting about their wares to the tourists. It was a perfect day to enjoy the sights. No one was aware of the danger at Rome's doorstep.

A man stood amongst them. Nothing was remarkable about him. He wore the stereotypical clothes of a tourist complete with shades. Despite the summer heat, he didn't even break a sweat. No one bat an eye at him, which was exactly what he intended.

The only person to really pay any attention to him was an Italian salesman selling selfie sticks.

"Selfie stick! Selfie stick! Five euro. Selfie stick." He waved the product in the man's face. When he didn't budge, the man took the hint. "No? Okay. Selfie stick! Five euros." To the foreigner's relief, the salesman moved on to pressure another victim.

Across the square, a woman with red hair watched the exchange with an amused smirk hidden behind a brochure. Like the man, she wore dark shades to protect her eyes from the bright sun. Although no one else found him extraordinary, Natasha Romanoff knew better. She would recognize that brown hair and athletic build with archer biceps anywhere. Fury didn't tell her who she would be rendezvousing with at 16:00, but it was no surprise that he would send STRIKE Team: Delta into an op as dire as this. Just for fun, she decided as she crossed the road, she will use the code.

Casually, she stepped beside Clint Barton, pretending to read the map.

"Looks like rain."

Without breaking composure, Barton responded smoothly, "I could let you borrow my slicker."

Nat allowed the corner of her mouth to quirk upward as she folded the paper. "Agent Barton. Excellent. We've located the warhead. It's located at the Piazza di Santa Maria."

"Roger."

"On my mark, break left. Mark!" Natasha quickly began to walk to the left until she realized she was alone. Startled, she glanced back to see Clint still standing at the rendezvous. She hurried back. "Is something wrong? Why aren't you breaking left?" Was he compromised? Was she trying to tell her they were being watched?

"I did."

"No, you just stayed where you are. This rendezvous is over. Move out." The S.H.I.E.L.D agent broke left again only to discover that her best friend was still not following her. With a huff of frustration and growing worry, Natasha returned to the spot. "See? Why aren't you–" She glanced behind him to find a line for the Colosseum tour. "Are you in this line?"

"Wha? No," Clint scoffed. The line in front of him moved slightly. Almost sheepishly, Clint took a step with it.

Nat whipped off her sunglasses. "Are you kidding me? We're on an extremely time-sensitive mission and you're sight-seeing?"

Barton removed his shades, revealing his pleading and eager blue eyes. "I've never been to Rome before! Bella Roma!" He gestured to the historical city with a sweep of his arms.

Romanoff gripped the collar of his shirt. "There isn't gonna be a "bella Roma" if you don't take care of this!"

"All the more reason to see it now."

"This is not what we're hear for!"

"It's kinda what I'm here for."

"What are you guys talking about?"

Natasha whipped her head around to find the man ahead of Barton in the line was speaking to them. "Nothing," she responded quickly.

Mustache man nodded. "Oh." Satisfied, he returned to his book.

Almost impulsively, Natasha karate chopped Mustache's neck. The precise hit struck a nerve that rendered him unconscious. The two S.H.I.E.L.D. agents caught the limp body and dragged him behind a pillar at the feet of a statue of Julius Caesar.

"I'm staying in this line," Clint insisted stubbornly, taking Mustache's place.

"No! We don't have time for this."

"You gave me three hours. That's practically all day. I'll met you at the rendezvous at 21:00."

Nat placed a hand on her friend's chest, stopping him from taking a step forward in the line. "I thought we said 19:00."

Clint winced. "I pushed it back so I could make it through the Vatican museums."

The ex-Russian assassin threw her hands into the air. "Unbelievable! You are jeopardizing this entire mission!"

"No, I'm not."

They heard a gasp as a familiar face suddenly popped out between them. "Whatta mission? Are you guys CIA?" Again, Nat used the same move to knock the Italian salesman out. With a gasp and a final "Selfie stick!", the seller fell limp into Barton's arms, who threw him with the other unfortunate witness.

"Nice! I hate those guys," Clint praised as he returned to the line.

"No! He overheard us. We are losing control of the situation."

"Calm down."

"If this thing falls apart, millions could die," Natasha reminded him.

Seemingly from nowhere, Clint produced a cup of ice cream. "Would some gelato make you feel better?"

  Infuriated, Nat smacked the treat out of his hand.

"Good thing I bought two."

She slapped that one, too.

"I order you to abort this enterprise."

Below them, a voice squeaked, "Have you guys seen my dad?"

The two secret agents glanced down to find a brown haired, bright eyed boy licking a large rainbow swirl lollipop.

Instinctively, the Russian drew her hand back to repeat the trick that knocked out the other two men, but her partner stopped her.

"No! No, not the children."

Dropping her arm, Natasha sighed, "Sorry, kid. No, I haven't seen your dad."

The child licked his sucker again, staring at the two adults. Suddenly, he screeched, "Are you guys secret agents?"

Clint couldn't stop Nat this time and could only catch the boy before he hit the cobblestone ground. The karate chop had broken the lollipop, but he was too unconscious to cry about it. Barton, who felt sympathy as a father, dropped the kid on top of the other two bodies.

"This is getting out of control!" Clint finally admitted.

"Abort your personal errand!"

"No!"

"Abort it!"

The harsh sound of clearing throat silenced their argument. "Agent Romanoff, what seems to be the problem?" A tall black man wearing sunglasses to hide his damaged eye stepped beside them as if he was waiting in the line.

Surprised, the two agents stood at attention and saluted. "Sir!"

"Put your hands down!" Nick Fury snapped. "You're drawing attention."

"Director, sir. Agent Barton is engaging in sight-seeing on an urgent operation," Natasha reported, which sounded like a tattletale to Clint.

"Oh, I see. I'll handle this." As he spoke, Fury removed his shades, showing Clint a cold brown eye accompanied by its gray, damaged counterpart. "Agent Barton, you are going to get to that warhead immediately..."

"Yes, sir," Clint muttered sullenly.

"...after we get through this line. Hold my gelato!" Fury shoved a cup of frozen Italian sweetness into Natasha's unprepared hands. Then Fury began moving through the line by knocking everyone in it unconscious with the same move Natasha used. "C'mere!" Chop. "All right!" Chop. "Follow my lead!"

"Okay, okay, okay!" exclaimed Natasha as she caught and lowered unconscious tourists.

"We're making good time!" Clint cheered as he followed the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.

"Here we go!" declared Fury, karate chopping away.

"All right!" whooped Clint.

"Here we go, here we go! I got you! I got you!" Nat assured each unconscious person as she caught them.

Somehow, no one paid the three secret agents any attention as they cut through the line. They are S.H.I.E.L.D.'s finest after all.

After walking through the Colosseum and the Vatican museums and stopping for gelato on the way since Barton insisted Romanoff owed him, STRIKE Team: Delta stopped the warhead from exploding and saved bella Roma.