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Letting go

"Be careful, Ferry," Lavender told him as he was about to go out the door to go to school. "There's a fairy lurking around. It attacked Sage several times. Nothing happened, don't worry. But we don't know what its intentions are."



Ferry nodded and went out the door, barely keeping himself from laughing. Over the past nights, every time Sage got too close to Matilda, he had thrown all the ammunition he had prepared in his head: fruits, cookies, nuts, twigs. He had no intention of hurting Sage; he just wanted to keep him away from Matilda. At least for a few minutes.


In front of the school, he came face to face with Andrew. He looked even worse than before. Several gray strands appeared in his hair. His eyes were empty and his lips almost as pale as his cheeks. Looking at him carefully, Ferry noticed that his ears looked pointy than before. And the grin on his face was long gone.


When he caught sight of Ferry, Andrew tried to hide his face with the collar of his red jacket.


"Andrew, wait," Ferry called him.


Andrew stopped. "What do you want, Ferry?"


"My mother is back home. And— she's worried about you."


"Tell her not to be," he said and continued on his way.


But Ferry cut him off, "You know what? I really don't care about you and I certainly wouldn't want you around my mother. But she cares because ... that's how she is. She wants to know you're alright. And you don't look very good ..."


Andrew gave it a thought for a moment. "Tell her I'm fine," he said with a sigh. "Your mother is a good woman. I've already caused her a lot of trouble. I don't want to cause some more. I always create problems for people around me," he added and went inside the school.


During the break, Ferry looked for Ben. He saw Celia coming out of the basement of the school, and after a while, Ben appeared, too. His friend tried to tidy up his ruffled hair and button up his shirt. His lips still kept on Celia's kisses. The make-out sessions between them became ever more dangerous, but that didn't seem to bother them. On the contrary, Ben entered the thrilling game of kissing under everyone's nose but with no one seeing them. They had even found a name for it—hide-and-kiss.


The game was simple—every time he and Celia met in the town, they chose to walk on parallel streets as if they didn't know each other. But their paths always crossed at one point. And then, at the corner of the street, Ben would catch Celia in his arms and pull her to a quiet street where they would kiss for minutes. The girl then ran from his arms, and the pursuit continued. Ben caught her again on the next street's corner, carried her in his arms to the shelter of the sunset's shadows that was filled with their passionate kisses.


Ferry had never seen Ben so happy. Nor that reckless.


"Ben, don't you think it's dangerous what you're doing?" he asked when he met him in front of the basement door.


Ben frowned, "Please, Ferry, don't start lecturing me, too."


"That's not what I'm doing, Ben. And who is lecturing you?" Ferry wondered.


"Matt, my parents ..."


"What do they say?"


"That everything happens too fast ... Matt says everything is too intense between me and Celia. 

And my parents are afraid that if Celia's father finds out, my father might lose his job."

"They're right, you know, said Ferry. "Celia's father is a powerful man. Besides, they don't want you to get hurt, Ben. Celia can get bored quickly."


"It's not true," Ben shook his head. "You don't know her as I do. You don't know what she's really like," he said and wanted to leave.


But Ferry stopped him, "I'm sorry, Ben. I didn't want to upset you. I just want you to be careful. You are my best friend. The only one I have left," he said softly.


Ben nodded slowly. They both set off for class.


"She misses you too, you know?" Ben said after a while.


Ferry knew all too well who he was talking about. "I know."


*

Each May, Goodharts was turning into the most beautiful place. But although the spring brought the sun closer to the town and adorned it with flowers, colors, and scents, the place was turning more desolate by the day. Almost seven years had passed since the last disappearance, and people were in a hurry to find shelter at the first signs of dusk.

At the Pride mansion, it was quiet. Mr. Pride was gone again. The guest hadn't been there in a while. Billy spent most of his time at the lake house with Andrew. On his night walks, Ferry saw them sleeping in each other's arms on the old couch, under the ragged, dusty blanket.

On the other side of the lake, Celia was teaching Ben how to dance. The boy often missed the steps and stepped on her foot, but the girl didn't seem to mind. She laughed and guided his steps with a patience worthy of a dance teacher.


The silence seemed to have spread over the entire town. But how long would it last?


That day of almost summer, Ferry was working hard. This time, he had to plant shrubs on either side of the alleys at the main entrance of the mansion. He was glad he didn't have to work near the mansion. That way, he could no longer meet Mrs. Pride. Their last meeting had made him shiver. The servants whispered that the mistress of the house had had a nervous breakdown. Now, she was resting on the west wing under the careful care of a nurse.


The sun suddenly became hot. Ferry wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand and sat in the shade of a tree. Through the heat waves rising from the ground, he saw someone coming towards him. One of the kitchen girls made signs for him to follow.


"Ferry, Ol' Joseph has been looking for you. He's not in a good mood today. He growls more than usual," she laughed.


Ferry found the old man walking around some bushes. "Come on, boy, help me with these. We have to plant them in pots and take them home to Felicia Scott. They're Mr. Pride's wedding gift for them. Oh, and I think he's also giving them a house. How lucky we are with such a good and generous master," he concluded in a tone that Ferry didn't know how to read.


Ferry planted the bushes in pots, then loaded the pots into a cart, and set off for the town to the bride's house... The road from the Pride mansion to town was abandoned, with tall grasses and wildflowers growing on each side of the road. The flowers were small and white, sprinkled on the soft grass as if snowflakes. Ferry stopped and picked a few, intending to give them to his mother on his return.


In Goodharts, the tradition of garden weddings was as old as the town. At every wedding, the whole town gathered in the bride's garden, adorned as in fairy tales. The locals, from small to large, took part in organizing the wedding, whether it was decorating the garden, setting the menu, or tailoring the wedding clothes for the bride and groom.


Ferry left the bushes in the garden and made his way among the people who were working outside or inside the house. He tried to find the parents of the future bride and went inside the house. He couldn't believe it when he found May in the living room, perched on a high chair, trying to make measurements above the fireplace. But the chair was tilted, and she slid, almost falling. Ferry darted and caught her in his arms. The girl wrapped her arms around his neck, keeping her eyes closed. Her body felt trembling against his and her heart pounding in his chest. Her face touched his for a second, like the flutter of a butterfly's wing. Ferry felt dizzy. The scent of flowers in her hair overwhelmed him. When she opened his eyes, her eyes shone at the sight of the savior. Ferry slowly put her down.


"Ferry, what are you doing here?" she asked, blushing.


"I came to bring some shrubs for the wedding."


"Thank you for saving me," she said simply, looking him in the eye.


Ferry fussed, "It was nothing..." As usual, he didn't know what to say in her presence.


"I've been waiting for you," she told him. "To come visit, you know?"


Ferry looked away, "I know, but ... I've been busy ..."


He couldn't tell her he was spending all his evenings watching Matilda. It would have seemed so pathetic of him.


"I'm glad to hear that. It means the training is going well."


"Training? Oh, training! Is going well, yes," he said, trying to look confident.


May smiled. She came closer and touched his face with her delicate hand. "You have dirt on your face."


Ferry slowly moved away from her touch and hurried to wipe off the dirt on his face. "I came straight from work," he explained. "Didn't have time to clean up."


"It's fine. You look so sweet with dirt on your face," she said.


Ferry suddenly felt hot, as if he needed air.


"I have to go," he said. "Ol' Joseph has one of those days. He'll scold me if I don't come back soon."


"Sure," she smiled. "See you soon, I guess. The preparations for the wedding have just begun."Ferry nodded and hurried out of the room, tripping over the threshold on the way out. Once outside, he took a deep breath. Meeting May had taken him by surprise. And somehow, he didn't like that.


*

After dinner, Ferry stayed in Lavender's drawing room for a while; he stared at the fire burning in the fireplace. The dinner was tasty. Lavender had always been a skilled cook. But somehow, his mother's food tasted better. It had something; something that brought him peace. And now, that feeling was gone.

Lavender studied him from her chair over the sweater she was knitting. "A penny for your thoughts," she said. "What's on your mind?"


"Words ..."


"Words?" she wondered. "What kind of words?"


"Tá tú go h álainn," Ferry said, trying to pronounce the words as correctly as possible.


Lavender smiled, "You're beautiful. My husband used to tell me that, a long, long time ago, in a huddled Elvian, of course. He asked me to teach him the language, but he was not the best student as I was not the best teacher. But, like any word in Elvian, the way you say it has a different meaning. And these words say not only about the beauty of a face. They talk about the beauty that comes from within. So when someone says that, it's almost like a declaration of love. The person who says this sees beyond the surface. That person really sees you."


Ferry stared at the smoldering fire in the hearth, his thoughts away.


"Ferry, I know you have had little peace and quiet lately," Lavender said, "but try not to make your life harder than it already is, my dear. I shouldn't tell you which things should be more important to you. Only you can decide that. Sometimes, things don't go the way we want them to, and we can't do anything about it. Maybe what we want and can't have only consumes us from within. And then, we must know how to let go."


Ferry said nothing. He didn't have to. Lavender knew him too well, anyway; she always knew what was in his heart. Yes, his life seemed a bit confusing now. But he was not ready to give up. Not just yet.


He got up, took his jacket, and started, as always over the past days, towards Matilda's house. He flew to the poplar in front of her house and stayed in the shadow, watching. This time, it was a full moon night, and he needed to stay away from its light.


Every night, the ritual in Matilda's yard was the same—the girl played football with Sage. Sometimes, her father and brother joined them. Then, the girl was alone with Sage, and they talked for hours. When it was cold, Sage put a blanket over her shoulders and they both stared at the sky without saying anything. But if Sage's arm stretched out too close to her, Ferry would attack. Ammunition changed from day to day: fruits, twigs, leaves, cakes, seeds. Fortunately, this didn't happen every day. Ferry had noticed that the werewolf was more reserved in the presence of Matilda's parents, which meant that his intentions were not exactly ... fraternal.


Now, Ferry realized he had forgotten to bring ammunition, a sign that the conversation with Lavender had made him think. Fortunately, Sage was not that daring, that night.


The two were about to go inside, so Ferry prepared to leave, too. In his pocket he came across the wildflowers he had forgotten to give to his mother; they were fresh, and their petals shone in the moonlight like the flakes of the first snow. And then a thought crossed his mind. He flew to the heights of the sky, and then dropped the petals in his hand over Matilda. He flew back into the tree as fast as lightning so that he wouldn't miss any of her gestures, and he wouldn't be betrayed by the moonlight. The girl looked at the flowers flying around her. She slowly picked up a few and studied them in the shelter of her palms. She then looked up at the sky. Sage, who also witnessed the rain of flowers, also looked at the sky. If on the girl's face Ferry could read the wonder and a shade of sadness, the wolf-man frowned. As the flowers laid on the grass, Sage said something to Matilda, then went inside, not before looking at the sky once more. Ferry flew out of the tree with a drop of joy in his heart — he saw Matilda keeping a flower in her hand, slowly closing her fist over it as if a precious treasure.


Ferry slowly descended from the tree and headed home. He didn't feel like flying anymore. At that time of the night, the town was deserted. It was just him and his thoughts. But his thoughts twisted and set off on unsuspected, tangled paths, making him ignore what was around him; and Ferry didn't realize he was being followed. With thoughts crowding in his head, he reached the outskirts of the town where grassy paths and roots took the place of cobbled alleys.


When he heard soft footsteps behind him, it was too late. He looked back and saw a beast running towards him. Ferry wanted to take flight, but his leg stuck in a root that appeared in the road as if out of nowhere, and he fell to the ground. Behind him, he saw a big dog snarling at him. Ferry crouched to the ground. With a leap, the dog jumped over him and cut him off. When he raised his head, he discovered Sage in front of him. With a determined pace, his Guardian came to him and helped him to his feet.


"Sage," Ferry said, trying not to show how scared he was, "what are you doing here?"


Sage did not answer. His impressive stature had always intimidated Ferry. Of all his Guardians, Sage and he were never close. A gust of wind moved his long, gray hair, making it look even more menacing. His fairy eyes pierced Ferry's.

"Listen, Garrett, I want you to stop playing this childish game," he said calmly. But his voice, even calm, sounded threatening.


"What are you talking about?" the boy asked.


"Don't pretend you don't know. I know you're the one attacking me every night."Ferry tried to keep his calm, "Oh, that. I heard Lavender saying something about it. She told me a fairy was sneaking around."


"Stop lying," Sage said just as calmly. "I know it was you."


Ferry forced himself to laugh, "That's ridiculous," he said. "How do you know it was me?"

"Oh, come on. I knew it was you the first time it happened. Only in Lavender's garden, you can find that kind of apples."


Ferry sighed. There was no point denying. Sage knew.


"It was me," he said with confidence. "And I'm not sorry about that."


Sage growled, starting to walk around him. "Why did you do it?" he asked.


"You know why." The wolf-man stepped closer. It was as tall as Ferry, but three times as massive.


"It's because of Matilda, isn't it?" he said with a growl. His white fangs gleamed in the moonlight.


"She's my best friend. Your intentions towards her are not exactly ... innocent."


"She was your best friend," Sage said.


"So you're not denying it?"


"No," he said just as calmly. "I will always be there for her, in this place where no one and nothing is what they seem they are. This world doesn't deserve her. You don't deserve her!"


"Then let her decide that!" said Ferry firmly. He could feel his pulse growing.


"No. Because you will never have the chance to see each other again."


Ferry laughed, but the laughter didn't sound like him. "And who decides that? You?"


The wolf-man came closer and studied him from head to toe. Ferry took one step back. "You know what, I never understood what everyone sees in you. Why everyone likes you," he said, and Ferry watched as his jaw clenched. "You are selfish, reckless, impulsive, too curious, you always stick your nose where you don't belong, and you are too passionate about anything. But in the end, you're just a mission to me. I don't have to fancy you. I took an oath to protect you and I will keep it. When you'll be crowned as King of Akna, my mission will be over and I will be able to leave this place."


Ferry felt his heart pounding. He was beginning to understand, "You want to get her away..." he said.


"Of course I'll take her away. Like I told you, this world doesn't deserve her. All they do is cut off her wings and crush her dreams. This world is too small for her. I have seen her torn down so many times, with hopes shattered by people with too petty souls. You cannot live in a false world when you are made for greatness."


"But do her parents know? Do they agree with this?" Ferry asked with clenched fists.


Sage did not answer.


"They don't know, do they?" Ferry continued. "What do you think they'll say when they find out?"


"They won't say anything because they won't find out," Sage said calmly.


Ferry could barely breathe, "Oh, yes, they'll find out. I'll tell them. I'll tell everyone what you're up to. They'll all know.  Thyme, Lord Stephan, Lavender. Don't you know that love is forbidden for those like you in Akna?"


Sage laughed, "Who said anything about Akna? There are so many places in the world of fae where someone like her can bloom."


"She doesn't like half measures, you know," Ferry said, stressing the words.


"She doesn't see me as such," Sage growled through clenched teeth.


"Oh yes? And how does she see you?" Ferry asked, feeling his blood boil in his veins.


"Friend, brother, parent, companion. All of this, and maybe more."


"I won't let you take her away from me!" Ferry shouted.


"You had your chance! Sage barked. "And you ruined it! Do you have any idea how many times I saw her dreaming and how many times you crushed her dreams? How many times did she hope that maybe you would open your eyes and see her? Truly see her. But you were too busy running after May. Instead ... I was always the shoulder she cried on. And finally, she realized she didn't deserve to shed tears. That's why she didn't come to the prom."


"She wanted to come to the prom?" Ferry asked. "I thought she hated to dance."


"She would've come for you. It was Ben's idea. He wanted both of them to come and crush the Spring Fling. But she refused, and Ben went alone. A very determined boy, Ben. Unlike you."


"What do you mean?"


"You, always undecided; always chasing after two rabbits. Or even more. You now have feelings for Mattie? What about May? Don't you feel anything for her anymore?"


Ferry frowned, "I— I don't know..." Then he added, this time confidently, "But I'll tell everyone about your plan. Matt will be the first to know."


"Go ahead! Tell them," Sage grinned. "What do you think this says about you? You can't even choose between two human girls. All you'll do is show everyone how indecisive you are. How unprepared you are to become the Savior of Akna. And when you'll choose, do you really think the people of Akna will jump for joy when you'll bring a human bride to rule by your side? Your destiny is already written, Garrett. Others have written it for you."


"What is that supposed to mean?"


"The people of Akna see humans as inferior beings. Even to us, the Amalghams. And they don't like human lovers, either. They will never allow your blood to mix with human blood. Their salvation is in the blood that flows through your veins. You are the last of your great nation. You are capable of great things, when your fairy powers will be revealed to you. You'll have a bride from the world of fairies, worthy of your noble blood; will give birth to noble offsprings who will do great things in their turn. So you can tell them about me." Then he stepped closer to Ferry and hissed in his ear, "But you'll never see her again."


He then turned his back on him. Ferry dashed at him. But Sage's sturdy arm knocked him to the ground.


"Looks like I've been paying more attention to fighting lessons than you did," he laughed. Then he turned serious. "I'm more than a house fairy, Garrett. And she knows that. Why don't you let go?"


Ferry shook his head no.


"What do you think she'll say when she finds out you attacked me?" Sage continued. "Because that's what happened, Garrett—you attacked one of your Guards without him doing anything to you. That says a lot about your temper. And it's not quite the quality of a leader if you ask me."

Ferry said nothing. Sage was right. The wolf-man offered him his hand to help him get up. But Ferry refused and stood up on his own.


"Does she know how you feel about her?" he asked.


"Not yet. But she will, eventually. I've already started showing her. On prom night, I invited her to the dance at the foot of the hill near Lavender's house. I put up an evening just for her; with music, candles, her favorite food that I cooked. It was just the two of us, for the first time. We talked, laughed, danced. She will figure it out, in the end. As we say in Akna, I have an eternity to show her." Then he looked at Ferry again with his red eyes. "I'm not your enemy, Garrett," he added firmly. "I know how much you mean to Akna. And I'll protect you to the end."


Then he turned to leave. Ferry looked behind him. The thought of not seeing again Matilda hurt. He could feel the pain in every pore of his skin.


"Sage, wait!"


The wolf-man turned.


"Please, let me see her," Ferry said, his voice trembling. "I won't say anything to anyone," he hurried to add. "I won't attack you again. You won't even know I'm there. And she'll never know I'm around ... I won't try to talk to her again, I won't chase her again. I just want to see her. Please..."


Sage thought for a moment and stretched out his hand. They both shook hands.


"It's a fair trade," Sage agreed. "You'll not say what I plan for her, and I will let you see her again. I know you'll keep your word, Garrett. That much I know."


"Thank you," Ferry softly said.


"Don't thank me. I'm not doing it for you."


Then Sage took his animal shape and vanished into the night.


Well, Ferry was right about Sage—he did have feelings for Matilda. But at least, she is in good hands. What do you think? As always, drop your comments and votes, and show some love to this story. Thank you!

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