Pov Jimin

I was shocked. Suga tried to kill himself? Was that because of me? Because I didn't hear him out?!

My full attention was on the tv now.

„Min Yoongi was brought into the hospital after attempting to commit suicide last night, only a few hours after he tweeted a cryptic „I'm sorry." on his official twitter account. Fans are trying to find out what our beloved idol could have meant with that. But it has been known to the public for years that Suga was suffering from depression, so...."

I turned the tv off. I couldn't bare to watch even a single second longer.

Did I just rob the world of one of it's brightest stars?

I jumped up from the couch and ran directly into my bedroom and towards my phone that I threw into one of the drawers of my nightstand the night before.

Once I got it I immediately went on twitter to unblock hubby. I had to be sure it wasn't my fault that he had tried to kill himself.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself any longer if it was.

After I unblocked him I only got two more messages.

That was a good thing, wasn't it? That means he didn't send me millions of texts blaming me for his death.

Little did I know I could be even worse.

*****

Dear Jimin,
I know you're probably never going to read this, and let me tell you, you have every right to be mad at me. My behavior was inexcusable. But if you'll read this some day I want you to know that I am truly sorry and I regret everything I did to you with my whole heart.
You were right in the café. You gained my trust a long time ago, but I was afraid that this would happen and I selfishly tried to expend our time together to it's maximum. I was afraid to loose you. I thought if I explained everything to you, you could possibly forgive me someday. But I lost you anyways, and I can totally understand that.
I don't deserve to be forgiven, especially by such a pure soul like you, you deserve so much better, Jiminie.
I know it's only been a few hours since you have decided to shut me out of your life, but it was enough for me to realise that a life without you in it isn't worth of living. Please don't ever blame yourself. You wear no guilt for my decisions. At most you're better off without me. All I ever did was causing pain to you.
So please promise me one thing:
Be happy again! Forget me and all these painful memories and show the world your beautiful smile again!

Forever yours
Min Yoongi aka your hubby

*****