Hazel's POV*

                                         $$$$

  Hazel Lewis had always been a rebel. If it was supposed to be done one way, she made sure to do it another. She knew she just didn't fit, no matter how much her adoptive parents tried to convince her otherwise.

What could her blue-eyed, blonde hair, thoroughly manicured mother possibly know about what it was like to be completely different than everyone else around you? It might not have been obvious to her, but it was to pretty much every one else in the environment in which she lived.

Sure,she knew she should be grateful for the chance to live a good life. She was  aware of the advantages she had been given in her life in comparison to so many young black children in the foster 't that weren't. But it still hurt to be treated like an outcast.

Her father was just as blind, so caught up in his corporate world, there was no one to talk to! Hazel figured that the fact they adopted a biracial child was enough to satisfy their idea of doing right by her. If they really only truly got it. Maybe she would have grown up into a successful business woman as they had assumed would happen.

  But no, Hazel disliked so much about being the pariah outcast in her teen years. She ran away multiple times. The disappointment she saw on her parents faces only intensified the need to be something and someone else.

  At seventeen she left with some other misfits to Florida. It was the first time she felt like she truly belonged. The laughter at things not directed at her. It was nice.
The others who were in various stages of discovery
about themselves. Benny, Jewish, but unsure of his beliefs. Yet feeling terribly guilty about his abused ancestors. Often he would cry into Hazel's lap, the waves of confusion wafting off of him like smoke in the wind. He would look up at Hazel with his wet, watery, chocolate eyes as if she could give him some absolution. And she would try, because Benny was a good, kind and special soul. One who never turned away from someone in need.

And there was Joi, a Nigerian immigrant that ended up in the foster system when her mother suddenly had a heart attack when she was merely fourteen. Luckily, she was a tough girl. Big built, but not what you would call fat, for she was strong. Young, yet both physically and mentally able to survive the cold hard world. She also had one of the prettiest faces Hazel had every seen. Not one whit of makeup was required. She was sixteen when they went to sunny Florida, but she still looked the oldest. The proud way she held herself and the way she knew herself. It made all the difference. Hazel thinks she may have been her first real crush, but never acted upon it. For Joi already knew she would turn eighteen, get her G.E.D. and go to college. Then marry a man and have a family.

The other three of their pack were the twins. The joke amongst everyone was to call them Justin and Bieber. For the fact they really did look like the Beeb They were also gay. The one named Owen (the one dubbed Bieber) had his boyfriend Jack with him. The most adorable little Filipino thing you ever saw. Big almond shaped eyes of a light coffee brown, upturned at the edges, dimples to die for and and a perfect shaped face. He was only about five foot three, but with a lithe, muscular frame. He would have made a lovely girl actually, but it was clear his looks had caused him pain earlier in life. So he wore a septum piercing, eyebrow as well. He had quite alot of tattoos as well. But the pretty shone through, though none would speak of it. Joel, a.k.a. Justin was in a single period after a broken heart.

Hazel lost her virginity to a guy named Mario. He was Columbian and gorgeous. But he liked to drink. And as sweet as he could be sober, the opposite could be said of drunk. Hazel took the abuse like a champ, but once when Benny tried to say something in her defense, Mario had punched Benny so hard that he fell back and cracked his head on the concrete steps resulting in a concussion.

That was it for Hazel as far  Mario was concerned. No one could get away with hurting her sweet Benny. After he recovered, he decided to go back home and reconsider his thoughts on religion and as tempted as Hazel was to follow, she knew he needed to figure this out on his own.

Hazel was afraid to leave the twins and Jack, in case Mario went after them to get her to stay. But after plenty enough assurances from Joi that they had found a apartment quite  away from anywhere Mario might be, Hazel relented.  Knowing that Joi had gotten a job in an upscale Nigerian Restaurant, where Jack would do kitchen work and the twins were servers, she was comfortable with going on her own adventure of self discovery. She could have stayed,  but her heart said it was time to go.

In a smoky club playing slow jazz in Atlanta Ga, she was talked into playing an old piano after a few too many drinks. She had taken lessons since she was around four or five and really did love it.

She was a hit with her obvious musical talent and gorgeous looks.  They talked her into staying in a tiny studio above the club for free and two hundred dollars a week plus tips.

That is where she found her first girlfriend. Maddie Soul was her stage name, and she sure had the soul. Short and ebony skinned, with an afro that glistened under the dark club lights. Black narrow eyes that flashed, not sparkled. Along with a small wide nose and full pouty lips, she was a wonder to behold on stage. Hazel often wondered why she was in a dark unknown club and not cutting records somewhere. Sure she liked to drink and smoke some reefer, as did Hazel.

It was a quick whirlwind romance. Within a week of playing together, Maddie was living in the tiny apartment with Hazel. Vaguely the thought of where Maddie stayed prior entered her mind, but Hazel was so enamoured by the tiny voluptuous woman, stars blinded her eyes. Until she came in early from a church gig she had agreed to, and found Maddie with a rubber tube around her upper arm. She was just pushing the plunger of heroin into her arm.

Hazel about came unglued! All the pieces suddenly fell into place!All her yelling and begging meant nil to Maddie at that moment, she could barely hold her head up to pretend she was paying attention to Hazel.

Finally Hazel gave up and went downstairs to Smoky Waters, and drilled the staff there. They all agreed that Maddie Soul was a full blown full-blown addict.  They all also assumed that Hazel was also using.

Furious, as well as fully heartbroken, Hazel had a few drinks and walked around the block.  She decided to go back home and try to talk to Maddie. As soon as she saw her she knew something was wrong. Her eyes were slightly open, bt fixed ahead. Her usual ebony skin looked ashy And around the same arm, a needle stuck as if in a dartboard.

She knew she was dead, but logic refused to see true. She screamed her name, shook her cold arm. Definitely not the one with the needle! She even pulled that beloved afro, before sinking to her knees in front of Maddie, urine soaking her jeans where death let her bladder empty.

"No, No, No, No", she just kept mumbling. "Why, on God why"? Then she began screaming and breaking things. In a matter of minutes, the staff downstairs came barrelling up the stairs.

She remembered little after that. The guys took her to a motel to keep her clean out of it. They told her that this was just her last journey riding the white, for this batch was nearly pure China White. Paramedics had taken her to the hospital on several such occasions.

  Hazel couldn't bear to go back, she instead hopped a bus to Tennessee for a bit. Then started her groupie stage. Wherever, whenever. She stripped occasionally, even though her father put money in her account to survive on. She rarely used it, waiting for the right time.

  Then In L.A., she met Vixen and the new road to New Orleans.