Dedicated to _plethora ❤❤

"Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations." - Jeremiah 1:5 KJV

23rd February, 1987

"I am pregnant," she said in a broken voice.

She bowed her head and couldn't hold back the dam of tears anymore. Her tears formed rivulets down her cheeks before disappearing into the neckline of her royal blue gown. Her fingers entwined tightly, making the veins on the back of her hands pop out. With quivering lips, an occasional heart-wrenching sound escaped as snot flowed from her nose. She hadn't planned for this to happen. All she had wanted was love and the feeling that she belonged to someone and vice versa. Not this. Definitely not this.

He was stunned into silence. He looked like a fish who had just been suddenly yanked out of water, his mouth opening and closing with no sound heard. He shut his eyes and tried again to speak but the result was the same. He had been all smiles when she called to tell him she had something very important to tell him and that she was on her way to his hostel off-campus. He didn't know what he expected her to say but he never would have guessed that 'this' was the bomb that would be dropped on him. Not this.

He slowly backed away from her till the back of his knees hit the single bed in the room and he sank into the mattress as though the effect of gravity was lost on him. Groaning, he placed his head in his hands while a train of thoughts, each with its own car, began to flit through his mind.

To a spectator, the atmosphere felt like that of a cinema - tense, like the moment in a movie when the main actor is about to make a live-altering decision especially with the way her whimpers and occasional sniffles could be heard as if it was forming a soundtrack to his thoughts.

But we were careful. We used protection, didn't we?

Sniffle.

I am just in my final year in University.

Whimper.

We can't handle a baby right now.

Whimper. Sniffle.

My dad is going to kill me.

Sniffle. Sniffle.

The baby may not even be mine. I have seen her with countless guys on campus.

Whimper.

I haven't achieved anything in life.

Sniffle.

Even if it's mine, it must be aborted.

Whimper. Whimper.

Yes, that's it.

Sniffle.

But can we really?

On and on, countless thoughts went through his mind, haphazardly. He sat up on his bed, facing the mirror opposite him. He stared at his reflection and he didn't like what he saw- a selfish, indecisive coward. Sighing deeply, he made a few wordless sounds as if to say something.

It felt like hours later when her cries could no longer be heard, when indeed it was just a few minutes. She sniffled, sat up and glanced at him for the first time since she walked into his room and uttered those three words. And with that one glance, she knew what he was going to say before he said it.

"No. No, no, no," she muttered over and over again almost like a mad woman. "I cannot do that. It is wrong and I am scared. What if I die or there are complications? Whereas, what has it done wrong that it should be killed? I can't do it. I won't do it."

"We have no choice, babe," he said with a note of urgency in his voice. "I cannot handle a baby right now. My parents will be disappointed in me. I will get a good clinic and you get it over with. I cannot do this now!"

"How can you even suggest an abortion?" she said in a soft tone before repeating it in a louder voice. "How can you?! I can't even believe you right now!"

Looking straight into her hazel eyes, he asked, "Is the baby even mine?"

She reeled backwards as though he had just slapped her. With a gasp, she saw for the first time who she had been dating. It looked like she didn't even know him. Of course, she hadn't been expecting him to say he would take responsibility but then how could he even utter such an insinuating statement. Now, she understood why some words were referred to as sweet nothings. They were simply nothing. The image of him she had had just about crumbled like the Wall of Jericho. How could he?

"How could you?!"

She had had enough of this. From the look of things, she was on her own. Still shaking and reeling from the baseless accusation he had just mindlessly flung at her, she made to pick up her bag and leave his room.

He rushed forward and held her back, grabbing her small wrist gently. God knows that he loved her. Or did he? Love meant doing what was right no matter what. Love was selfless, yet here he was being a selfish jerk. He brushed his thumb over the back of her hand and pulled her to him.

She went rigid and the tears began again. This time soundlessly and filled with hurt. She pulled away from his hold and pinned him with a wounded look.

He sighed. "I am sorry, babe. I really am sorry. That was a cruel thing to say. I am just as confused as you are right now. Let's calm down and talk this through. Please."

Shuddering, she sat down again and spoke slowly as one exhausted without looking at him.

"I will not abort this baby. I will keep it. It will be difficult but I will find a way around it. You don't have to accept it as yours or even be a father to it. I will do everything I can to protect him or her."

"Babe, think this through. You're just about to write your 200 level final exams in a few months. It won't be easy. Besides, what will your parents say? Will you be able to handle the rumours and stares in school? What about us? What happens to us? Have you thought about all this?"

"Like I said, you don't have to accept it or be a father to it. I will do this alone."

With that said, she stood on her feet, gave him one last look and walked out of his room. Leaning against his shut door, she closed her eyes as she realised one thing. He hadn't come after her. She really couldn't blame him, could she?

She sighed as she squared her shoulders and fixed her gaze forward. She didn't know how she was going to do this but she had to at least try. For herself. For her baby.