This chapter will bounce back and forth from the present and the past. This whole chapter is in Lucy's POV... try not to cry and let's get on with the story...

Lucy's (POV)

"Natsu..."

I still couldn't manage to say it. There's so much to say...

"Luce... Just start from the begining then lead up to the big stuff ok..."

"I thought we agreed on not reading each other's thoughts?"

"I don't have to read your thoughts to tell that your struggling with saying what needs to be said. Just calm down and say it... All of it. I love you Luce... I can take anything, especially for you."

With those encouraging words I began my story.

He really hurt me that night. I don't even want to remember it. I never felt more worthless in my whole entire life.

[Flashbacks in italic.]

I watched as life left his body. Porlyusica tried her best to save my Natsu but she couldn't save what was already lost. I regretted everything. I didn't get to tell him...

I hate myself... now he will never know that...

"Lucy..." Gray interrupted my train of thought.

"Is there something you want to say to us." He started to choke up.

There was nothing I could say... at least not to them. I stayed silent.

"LUCY!" He cried.
I've never seen Gray cry before... It makes sense that he would... He and Natsu were like brothers.

"Do you not care. Is that what it is... Answer me Lucy!" He screamed.

I didn't reply. I would if I could but... I'm hurting more than I've ever hurt before. This pain is... I want nothing more than to join him.

"There will be no more yelling Mr. Fullbuster, show some respect for your friend." Porlyusica scowled.

"The hell with that... I want answers. How did this happen? Flame head would never leave like this... NEVER!" He was in pain I could tell it reminds me of when he thought Juvia passed away during Zerefs war.

"GRAY!" Erza entered hearing the news.

"Lucy... Answer me... You owe it to us! After all this is your fault!" He cried.

"GRAY!..." Gray silenced and Erza walked up to me from behind and rubbed my shoulders.

"He didn't mean that." She said softly.

"Yeah I did." He retorted.

"Gray-sama how could you?" Juvia entered and ran towards Erza and I.

"What do you mean Juvia. It's because of her that he..."

"Natsu would be sad to hear you acuse Love Rival in such a way... Did it ever cross your mind that Lucy is hurting allot more than you are. They loved each other." Juvia shouted.

I've never heard her raise her voice towards Gray before. I couldn't say anything... He was right it was all my fault.
But why... why did it have to be him we were gonna get married and... Start a family.

My eyes were dryer than the hottest dessert. I could muster no tears. Despite my dry eyes I still whimpered...

"He's right... It's all my fault." I whispered.

"Lucy... Natsu would never blame you. And this... His passing was caused by something unknown. Porlyusica isn't even sure of the cause." Erza said calmly.

"That is why I'm certain it is my fault... It no longer matters..." I stood up and headed for the exit.

"I need to speak with the master." Before they could stop me I rushed to Makarov's office to speak with him in private.

Present time:

Natsu looked at me with such sorrowful eyes. "Luce it wasn't your fault."

"Yeah, I know that now..." I chuckled. "Shut up and let me finish."

I continued my story.

After I spoke with the Master I returned to the infirmary.

"Lucy..." Erza jumped from her seat walked towards me and pulled me into a hug.

"I was worried.'' She stated.

"I'm okay Erza, really. I spoke with the master and the service is tommorrow."

"So soon?" She asked.

"Master and I thought it to be best we do it as soon as possible. I was wondering if you could tell the others I don't have the heart to do so." I asked.

"Of course Lucy... You and Happy should go home and rest." She rubbed my back and pulled away from me.

I nodded and heeded to her order. Happy and I headed home as I walked through the door I looked down at my ring on my finger. I collapsed on the floor, a heaping mess of tears.

"LUCY!" Happy flew to my side.

"I'm sorry... I can't believe it... Is this a dream... Happy wake me up this isn't real... wake me up from this nightmare."

"NATSU! VERY FUNNY BABE, GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW. NATSU! I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME! NATSU..."

"Stop it Lucy. It's not... He's gone." I canceled Happy's cries out with my screaming.

"No its not real! Natsu's... Natsu can't be gone. We... Happy we were gonna... ha-... What am I gonna do with out him... I can't... Without him... I need him. I love him."

"Lucy... I swear I'll be here for you I won't leave you even if you made me, I still wouldn't leave because your my family. We are all we have now... We can do it Lucy because Natsu would want us to."

He was right. Natsu would never let me hear the end of it if I keep doing this.

'I will live on for you... Natsu.'

"Your right Happy... we can get through this all of us."

I went into mine and Natsu's room and curled up in a ball. I cuddled Happy, all night we cried together. It felt cold without Natsu her with us. We can still be a family even if one of our key players is down for the count.

The next day was the funeral I saw as the love of my life was lowered into the earth. We all said our final goodbyes.

It had been three weeks and I never left the house. Happy would come and go bringing back food for me.

Till the unexpected happened...

He came back to me...

"And you know the rest." I finished.

"Luce..."

"It's ok, everything is fine now." I interrupted.

"Lucy... you still didn't say what you needed to yet."

'Crap he's right I kept putting it off.'

'OK, ok breath Lucy.'

I took his hand in mine and took deep breaths.

"There's actually two- three things I need to tell you."

"OK hit me." He gave me all attention.

'God I love him.'

"This may..."

"Luce..." I could tell he was getting antsy.

"Oh fine..." Here goes...

"N-natsu... I... I'm... Sorry I just can't."

"Is that what you wanted to say 'sorry'. Luce come on. You gave me a heart attack!"

"No that's not what I wanted to say... Natsu I'm..."

"Your not pregnant are you... How is that possible... We still haven't... Did you..."

"Oh my god... no I'm not, I would never. I wanted to tell you that about a month ago I had a quick meeting with my spirits and the spirit king..."

"Ok..."

"I decided that I'm gonna quit being a wizzard."

''WHAT!"

"Just hear me out..."

"No! I don't care for the reason... My Luce would never do this. Your not quitting you understand me. There was a reason why I brought you to Fairy..."

Before I could stop him he grabbed my hand. He was shocked when he saw that my insignia was missing.

''WHAT THE FUCK LUCE! WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"I quit fairytail..."

Natsu pulled me out the door.

"Where are we going?"

"To the Guild. To fix your Dumb-Ass mistake!"

I'm not surprised... I knew he'd be angry that I quit. He's definetly my Natsu... I'm relieved to be honest.

"Honestly, what were you thinking Luce?"

"Well you were gone."

"I didn't see any purpose to being a wizzard anymore. The only reason I became a wizzard was to have adventures. But after I met you I found that it was only an adventure with you by my side."

"Without you there's no adventure."

"Luce... I promise... I'm never leaving you again. Even after death I'll still be with you and go on more adventures." He gave me the most promising look.

"I love you... that was the third thing."

"What?"

"I want you to know that I really truly love you."

"I know Luce..."

"No Natsu you don't. I love you so much that I can't live without you. You say you aren't going to leave me but this time marked the fourth time no more you hear?"

"Yes... I hear."

We arrived at the Guild out of breath.

"How many times are we gonna do this Luce?"

"Do what?"

"First, when I passed out we finally started dating... Second, I proposed before I passed out for the second time... Third, I somewhat died... And now I'm back from the dead."

"Natsu... It's because when we are together the surprises are endless."

He pulled the doors open and time stood still... you could cut the tension with a knife.

"NATSU!" The whole Guild shouted.

They rushed toward our favorite salmon haired mage tears in their eyes giving him a Fairytail welcome.

They all looked so happy to see him.

With these past three weeks I've learned the greatest lesson... I shouldn't be afraid of the uncertain things otherwise I'll regret it. 

I shouldn't keep it in anymore, it's best to set it all free and rid myself of that uncomplete feeling.

My purpose is unclear but my family is what I'll focus on because they are my future.

"Luce... come here."

I listen to Natsu and follow him towards Makarov's office. We enter and Makarov is flabbergasted.

"N-natsu..." He stuttered.

"Hey gramps... So, Luce is here to apologize... Well..."

"Oh... Master I apologize for being irrational." I bowed my head.

"Nonsense, it was I who approved of it. It was good for you to get away for a while. I assume you are here to become a member once again?"

"Y-yeah." I said nervously.

"Same color, same place?"

"Yeah."

"Alright... Welcome back to Fairytail Mrs... I mean Ms. Heartfilia. That reminds me when's the wedding?"

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Be honest... You totally thought she was pregnant didn't you.

I didn't realize that it seemed that way till Nalu_Shipper19 commented about it in the last chapter. So I decided to play on it a little.

I've got a plan... A very good plan...

STAY TUNED NALU ENTHUSIASTS!!!!