I have promised a chapter of this, so here it is! Don't play the music until you see the words 'Cue Music'. It gets sad, just warning...

I am going to skip ahead to 5th grade. I met someone who knew everybody and had lots of friends. I didn't think she would mind if I joined her friend group. I'm gonna call her, Jamia. When Christmas began to roll around the corner and we had one week of school left before the holidays, I found out she had her birthday on the 24th of December. Her birthday was never really kept separated from the other holiday on the 25th. I could relate because my birthday was the 19th of December, knowing my parents always split up what I wanted between the two holidays. For the entire last week, I made her a homemade gift to lift her spirits. We got closer to one another and the moment I opened my heart back up, I should have known it was just going to be abused again.

I knew someone else in the class and she told me that my other friend was a bad influence on me and I should get rid of her. Me, having put all my trust in her, believed the lie and rid myself of someone else who probably wouldn't ever do such a thing. I still feel guilty for doing it, even years later.

Skip to 6th grade, I had become friends with Jamia and with her friend group, or so I thought. Anytime there was group projects or graded assignments, all of her friends and her wanted to pair up with me. Little did I realize that I was the one doing all the work and the others were slacking off. Still innocent minded, I figured it was easier to work alone on any project I was given, so I decided to start working alone, not thinking much of it. Suddenly, out of the blue, Jamia and her friends drew away from me and Jamia began to openly be rude to me. I tried to reason with her, make amends, but she was too stubborn to open up to me. This led to many sleepless nights, crying when no one knew, becoming less social, and eventually cutting myself off from her. My mom began to notice and I told her everything I knew. She did absolutely nothing except use that information against me. She told everyone in my family, leaving me exposed and alone. From then on, I knew I couldn't trust anyone, not even my family.

7th grade rolls around and she continues to be downright evil. December came around and I decided to gift her an anonymous gift, remembering her birthday was commonly forgotten. I rode the same bus as her home from school and I could hear her as she talked with her friends. She brought up that she received a plate of cookies from someone unknown. I got excited I'm my head, hoping she read the note under the cookies and put old feuds behind us. I heard her say she opened it up and took the cookies and put them in a bag, but her friend said she didn't know who they came from so she should get rid of them. I knew right then and there, I would never be friends with her again. I gave up trying to fix things and questioned if I would ever have someone to be close to.

Cue music

It was Wednesday and time to go to activities. I sat on the couch reading a book after what happened. My siblings were leaving and asked if I wanted to go. I responded without even looking up. "No, I think I'll stay in tonight." I thought inwardly to myself right after they left. 'Skip the conversations and the "Oh, I'm fines'

I set my book down and walked over to my desk. 'No, I'm no stranger to surprise' I began to walk down the hall, towards my bedroom. 'This paper town has let me down too many times' I reached my bedroom and walked through the door. 'Why do I even try? Give me a reason why' Before I got into my bed, I reached for a chocolate I kept beside my bed. My sister knew it was there and now it's gone. 'I thought that I could trust you, never mind' I got into my bed, continuing to think about what happened at school that day. 'Why all the switching sides? Where do I draw the line? I guess I'm too naive to read the signs'

The next day at school, but 5 minutes before the dismissal bell

'I'm just lookin' for some real friends, All they ever do is let me down' I glance over at Jamia during class. 'Every time I let somebody in, Then I find out what they're all about'

Dismissal Bell rings

I grab my stuff and rush out of the classroom. 'I'm just lookin' for some real friends, Wonder where they're all hidin' out' I looked around the crowded halls as I neared the exit. 'I'm just lookin' for some real friends'I shove open the doors and get onto my bus. 'Gotta get up out of this town'

Some Family gathering that evening

I left the crowded room, went outside on the grass, laid down, and looked up at the sky. "I stay up, talkin' to the moon, Been feelin' so alone in every crowded room" I think of everyone in the room, no one wants to talk about my feelings. "Can't help but feel like something's wrong, yeah, 'Cause the place I'm livin' in just doesn't feel like home! I'm just lookin' for some real friends!" I stand up and look out at the empty neighborhood. "All they ever do is let me down"I thought back to Ashley. "Every time I let somebody in, Then I find out what they're all about" I headed towards the garden and fountain in my backyard. "I'm just lookin' for some real friends, Wonder where they're all hidin' out" I look back at everyone gathered in the house, not caring about me. "I'm just lookin' for some real friends, Gotta get up out of this town" I wandered down the garden path and saw a blooming, red rose. I picked it and held it, but it seemed to wilt in my touch. I tossed the rose aside. 'Lookin' for some new friends...'

I was gonna continue the song, but the point was already across. I dunno if I'm gonna make this a lyrical-based story or just a true story with the occasional song. I gtg now, I need to actually get some sleep, since it's 4:02 A.M. where I live right now.

~Rachel❤️