"But I never wanted you to lie to yourself about happiness,

When all you were was just a little lonely."

PAPERS SPREAD ACROSS the dining table, coloured pens littering every available space, empty cups of coffee stacking up. The scene of disaster in my dorm was due to the last assessment test tomorrow. Jake and I were trying our best to cram as much information as we could into our brains before the test. After all, Physics wasn't my strong suit, and Mr. Thorn was known to set extremely challenging papers.

"I don't think I can do this anymore," I groaned, thumping my head against the table. Jake glanced at me with an amused look, shaking his head.

"Come on, A. Just a little bit more," he encouraged, shooting me a small, cheery smile.

"At this point, I'm wondering what good all this cramming will do. I'm probably going to fail, anyway," I whined, rubbing my sore eyes.

"Look, let's give this our best. Just one last test, and we'll be free!" Jake cheered, nudging my shoulder. I let out another groan, trying my hardest to not give in to my exhaustion.

"You know, if Wes was here, he'd tell me to go to sleep," I grumbled, causing Jake to roll his eyes.

"Wes is a terrible friend," he sighed, shaking his head. "You shouldn't listen to him all the time, you know."

I frowned slightly, pursing my lips. Weren't the two of them best friends? Shaking my head and brushing Jake's careless remark aside, I picked up my pen again and started to write. It hadn't even been five minutes when Jake broke the silence.

"Alex?" he said, hesitating for a second.

"Hmm?" I hummed without lifting my eyes away from my notes.

"After tomorrow...do you want to re-schedule our date?" he asked, causing me to pause what I was doing. Blinking, I lifted my head up to look at him. Jake's eyes were wide and expectant as he waited for my reply, which made it all the more difficult for me.

The more time we spent together, the more I realised that I only saw him as a friend. Sure, he was handsome and nice, but there was just something that didn't feel right whenever I was around him. I sensed that there was more to him than he allowed me to see, and that he kept many things from me. For one, I wanted to know why he hated the Royals so much that he would befriend people solely because they shared the same mutual hatred for the 'crowned princes' of the Academy. Whenever I tried to bring them up, he would launch into a tirade of insults and wouldn't stop until I reluctantly agreed with everything he said.

Taking in a deep breath, I cleared my throat. How do you let someone down nicely?

"Look, Jake. You're a fantastic guy, but I'm just not ready for a relationship now," I said quietly, and Jake's expression crumbled.

"I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend straight away," he said, trying to sound convincing but failing at that. "I really like you, Alex. Don't you want to give us a chance?"

"I know, but...it just doesn't feel right," I mumbled, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear nervously. "I'm sorry."

Jake was silent for a few seconds, before he bit his lip and asked, "Is it because of Wesleigh?"

"What?" I choked, furrowing my eyebrows together in confusion. "Wes and I are just friends, Jake."

Jake narrowed his eyes slightly, before he sighed heavily and nodded.

"Right," he muttered. "Whatever. Look, it's late. I'm going to make a move first."

With that said, he began to pack his notes and stationary into his bag before swiftly exiting my dorm, but not before shutting the door loudly. Even with him gone, there was still a heavy tension in the air that I couldn't shake off. I had a feeling that this would put a strain on not only Jake and I's friendship, but Wes and Jake's as well.

Knowing that I had just upset a good friend, I shut my eyes tightly and sighed. My good mood was ruined and I was sure that studying for tomorrow's test will only get harder from here on out. It was going to be a long night.

❁❁❁

I WAS PROBABLY going to flunk Mr. Thorn's Physics paper. The minute the timer went up and he instructed us to put our pens down and hand in our papers, I knew that I was done for. Jake and I had planned to have lunch together after our paper, but I tried searching for him after our class was dismissed to no avail. I bit my lip, a sinking feeling forming inside of me.

He couldn't still be upset about last night, right?

A big part of me had the feeling that that was probably the reason why. Despite that, I still wanted to be friends with him. He was, after all, a good friend.

"Alex." Looking up in surprise, I came face to face with Jake himself, who stood about an arms' length away from me with his hands tucked into his pockets.

"Jake. Hey," I replied, eyes wide. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and managed a small smile. "I was trying to find you."

Jake smiled, walking towards me until we were side-by-side.

"I'm sorry for leaving so suddenly last night," he apologised, scratching his head and wrinkling his nose. "That was stupid."

"It's okay," I murmured, feeling the awkwardness between us dissipate.

"I understand about you not being ready for a relationship," Jake said, licking his lips nervously. "But that doesn't mean I can just ignore my feelings. So I'm telling you right now that I don't care if you're not ready. I'll wait. I'll win you over, you'll see."

I bit my lip and winced, letting out a heavy sigh. I turned to face him, hesitating.

"Jake...," I started, furrowing my eyebrows.

"I don't want to hear it, Alex. I mean it when I said that I like you, a lot. And I mean it when I said that I'll change your mind," Jake said, his lips quirking into a confident smile. He ran a hand through his hair, his smile widening. "Come on, let's go grab lunch."

I hesitated, then politely shook my head.

"You go ahead, Jake. I need to grab something from my dorm," I said, and his smile faltered slightly.

"I can accompany you, if you want," Jake said, looking a little hopeful. As much as I didn't want to let him down, I knew I had to. I offered him a weak smile and declined, and before he could say anything else, I turned around and scampered off.

When I was sure that he wasn't following me, I slowed down to a comfortable pace before I spotted a bench by the side of the brick pavement and took a seat. I must've been sitting there for over half an hour, thinking about the mess that I had gotten myself into. I should've been clearer from the start that I wasn't interested in him. Now I had to lie to him about how I wasn't ready, which only made things worse since he seemed to become even more determined.

"Hey, sunshine. Why the long face?" a voice said, snapping me out of my reverie.

"Huh? Oh! Hey, Logan. I didn't see you there," I said, sitting up straighter and giving him a small smile. It was no secret that Logan was easily my favourite out of the four boys, mainly because he was the only one that was nice to me. Robin and Asher were downright assholes and Yuko just never spoke.

I looked to my left and to my surprise, Yuko was standing beside him. He offered me a small nod of acknowledgement. I blushed slightly in embarrassment when I recalled the scene I witnessed between Yuko and Siobhan a few days ago. While he was usually very reserved and private, there was certainly another side to him he kept hidden from the rest of the world. A side he's willing to show to Siobhan...

"Yeah, well, here I am. Why are you here all by yourself?" Logan asked curiously, snapping me out of my thoughts. I cast a quick glance at Yuko, staring at my hands guiltily. It felt so wrong to intrude in his private matters, and I couldn't get the image of him and Siobhan leaning into each other out of my head.

"Uh, I'm just getting some fresh air out here," I explained. Logan nodded, and Yuko looked at me curiously.

"Are you alright, though? You look a little down," Logan asked, his eyebrows scrunched together in concern.

"Yeah, of course! It's nothing," I said dismissively, but I cursed myself silently when I heard the note of uncertainty in my voice.

"Oh, okay. Well, we're gonna go." Logan smiled his gorgeous smile and waved. "See you around!"

"Yeah, see you!" I said, a little too cheerily, forcing a small smile of my own onto my lips. Yuko tilted his head slightly and eyed me thoughtfully. I busied myself by packing my bag as the boys left. After a few steps, they stopped.

"Why don't you join us for coffee?"

My head shot up in surprise. Not because of the offer, but because of who had offered. Yuko stood there with his hands in his pocket, waiting for my answer.

"What a great idea! Why don't you come join us, sunshine?" Logan persisted.

"I don't want to intrude," I politely declined, but shot the both of them a grateful smile.

"It's fine. Come on, we don't have all day," Yuko said softly, offering me a small, sympathetic smile.

I was grateful for his offer, because I really didn't want to be alone right then. If I was alone, I'd only let the doubts and negativity of Jake's strange behaviour consume me whole. A part of me wondered if Yuko knew that I was really upset. After all, he was pretty observant.

The walk to the campus café was a short one, but I enjoyed the view of the old brick buildings that had thick green leaves growing along the walls, climbing up the rough surface, trying to reunite with the sun. Instead of looking eerie or ancient, the leaves gave the buildings a rustic look, and it really was beautiful. Strangely, I felt comfortable walking in the middle of the two tall boys in complete silence.

"I've been here ever since I was in kindergarten and the beauty of this place still manages to take my breath away," Logan murmured, his face serene as he looked at the trees, flowers and buildings that surrounded the three of us. Yuko nodded in approval.

"You should see the cherry blossom trees when they bloom. It'd be any time soon," Logan commented.

I tried to ignore the stares of every Meilleurean that passed by. Curious glances were thrown our way and I tried my best not to be bothered by it.

"Ignore them. Their stares─," Yuko mumbled quietly beside me.

"─ and words do nothing but remind you that you are alive," I finished, shooting him a small smile. "I remember."

"Unfortunately, you have to. Meilleureans have taken a fond interest towards you, too," he laughed. I couldn't help but notice the slight bitterness in his tone. I nodded with a small smile and the three of us continued to walk to the café without another word.

Along the way, I observed the two boys secretly. I realized that Logan's fingers constantly drummed against his thigh as if he was creating a tune with the wind, and that Yuko always seemed to have something on his mind, making him seem a little detached from reality.

When we arrived at the café, we took a seat on the comfortable bamboo-woven chairs and almost immediately, a waitress approaches us. I frowned slightly, aren't we supposed to order at the counter like everyone else?

"Mr. Marshall, Mr. Hideyoshi, welcome back to The Bean!" the waitress greeted with a false cheery tone and a wide smile. She looked almost nervous. Yuko nodded slightly, and Logan began to order.

"I will have an Americano, and Yuko will have his usual. Alex, what about you?" Logan asked.

"Chamomile tea for me, please," I told the waitress, and the waitress nodded and quickly scampered off.

The three of us sat in comfortable silence as we waited for our orders. Soft, happy music floated through the air. I recognised it to be a cover of Sunday Morning by Maroon 5. I bobbed my head to the beat of the music to busy myself. It didn't take long for the same waitress to hurry back to our table with a tray filled with cups of coffee.

"An Americano for you, Mr. Marshall," the waitress said, placing a cup of steaming hot coffee in front of him.

"Your usual order, Mr. Hideyoshi. And your tea, Miss," the waitress said. She placed our drinks and a plate that had a delicious looking blueberry muffin in front of us.

Before the waitress could leave, I said a quick 'thank you' and smiled at the lady. She smiled quickly before hurrying back to behind the counter, where a throng of impatient customers were already waiting.

I eyed the muffin on the table. It looked and smelled so good, I could feel my mouth watering.

"Do you want some?" Yuko asked, handing me a fork. My eyebrows shot up in surprise, and I blushed slightly. God, they probably think I'm some kind of pig.

"It's okay," I politely declined, but he only raised his eyebrows.

"Come on, it's the best thing on the menu. Try it," he urged, pushing the small fork into my hand. I accepted it without much protest. I cut a relatively large bite, smiled sheepishly at the two amused boys, and ate it. I closed my eyes as I savoured the warm muffin. It practically melted in my mouth, and the fresh blueberries were still warm and gooey.

"This is the best muffin I've ever had!" I exclaimed, mouth still full with blueberry muffin. Logan laughed and Yuko smiled slightly. Yuko took me by surprise when he pushed the plate towards me. I looked up from my drink, eyes wide.

He gestured to the muffin, "Eat."

I blushed and shook my head.

"Oh no, it's yours!"

"It's okay, I'm not that hungry anyway," Yuko said with a gentle smile. I hesitated, and took another small bite of the muffin. I was surprised at his kindness. I really didn't expect it from Logan, much less Yuko.

We spent the remaining break eating in silence, and I never felt more calm and relaxed. That is until...

"Robin?" Logan greeted. He looked partly surprised, but also happy to see his friend.

"Logan. Yuko," Robin greeted, before he made eye contact with me. I felt my smile falter when his cold eyes pierced through me.

"What is she doing here?" Robin asked, frowning slightly. I gritted my teeth at his rudeness.

"Oh, she's just having a cup with us," Logan explained, shrugging casually as if we do this on a regular basis. He sent a knowing look to Yuko, and the two boys smirked at Robin, laughter concealed behind the two pairs of warm brown eyes. A muscle in Robin's jaw ticked and the icy glare he sent me rivalled even the low temperatures of the Arctic.

"Why?"

"Why not?" Yuko countered, meeting Robin's steely gaze with his own. The tension was suffocating.

"I should go now," I quickly excused myself when the bell rang. Thank god. I quickly packed my bag and fished for notes in my skirt pocket, pulling out a ten-dollar bill.

"You don't have to pay," Logan said kindly.

"But─"

"Your company is good enough," Yuko reassured with a small smile. I hesitated, but Robin's hard look made me leave without so much of a backward glance.

  ❁❁❁ 

A/N: Hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! Have you heard about my poetry collection 'The Skin On Our Bones'? It just got awarded Best Poetry in The Fiction Awards 2017. Thank you all so much for your endless support. 

Song of the Chapter: Bitter by Charlie Lim