*Cloud Recesses*

Lan XiChen steps closer, "Clan Leader," he starts, but Jiang Cheng shakes his head, "Zewu Jun, there are things a man should say out loud. What I am about to tell you will probably change the way you look at me. But I would rather tell you now than let you enter my mind unprepared."

Zewu Jun nods, for he can see how determined Jiang Cheng is, "In that case, please go on."

Jiang Cheng takes a deep breath and sits next to Wei Ying, "I always felt that Wei WuXian was better than me. When we were kids, I envied him. Though I loved him deeply, I always felt that he was more talented, more popular, and more loved than me. My father was very fond of him, as well. Sometimes, no, most of the time, as we grew up, I felt that my father wanted me to be more like him. I felt that I was never good enough. Everything I did, Wei WuXian did better. When Lotus Cove got destroyed, I blamed him. I blamed him for the devastation caused by the Wen's. I blamed Lan Wangji too. I was jealous of their friendship; of their closeness." Jiang Cheng pauses and looks at Zewu Jun, "I became the clan leader, and was scared of what others might think of me if I were too side with him. He was stubborn and did what he wanted; he had no regard for rules or social status. He was untameable, and I panicked. I was scared of being judged. I- I abandoned him. At Evernight, I killed him, blaming him for my sister's death. I spent years blaming him. I did things I am ashamed of..." Jiang Cheng trails off.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"I want to, Zewu Jun." Jiang Cheng states and continues to tell him all the times he had tortured people that he doubted of using demonic cultivation. He tells Zewu Jun about times he had not stopped people from bad-mouthing his brother even when he knew what they were saying was untrue.

Zewu Jun's brows crease, and he closes his eyes, "Jiang Cheng, I am sorry." He mutters; Jiang Cheng chuckles humorlessly, "I don't deserve sympathy. I don't deserve anything. Zewu Jun, when Wei WuXian returned, I was happy for a moment, but then Lan Wangji took him away- I - I looked down upon their relationship. I kept feeling that it was not just friendship; I felt disgusted by it- " Jiang Cheng stops to wipe the tears leaving his eyes, "I was so wrong. Love is not something one can plan. Who enters your heart is not under your control. I didn't know that then. Finally, when I saw them together at Lotus cove, I realized my mistake. For what they had was special. Love is special."

Jiang Cheng stands and walks over to Zewu Jun, "They made me understand my heart, Zewu Jun. But sometimes, one can only love from afar. Sometimes one-sided love is all one can have."

Zewu Jun nods, "Yes, what they have is special. Wangji and Master Wei are lucky that they found each other." He agrees and smiles, "I am happy for them. Their love is pure and selfless. They live for each other, not for themselves."

"Zewu Jun, but not everyone's love can or will be reciprocated by the other." Jiang Cheng states.

"But one can try. One mustn't give up before trying." The older Jade states optimistically.

"Zewu Jun, if one knows that his feelings won't be reciprocated by the other, what should he do?"

"They must keep it in their heart... " Zewu Jun stops abruptly and looks at Jiang Cheng as if realizing something, "Jiang Cheng, are you in love with someone?"

Jiang Cheng gulps, "Yes, I am. I realized it recently." He admits looking away from the older man, "The one I am in love with doesn't love me back."

"Did she tell you that herself?" XiChen enquires innocently.

"It's complicated... It's not a woman." He stammers and turns to face XiChen again.

"Oh. I didn't expect that. Can I help? If you want, I could talk to...him." XiChen offers, making Jiang Cheng sigh.

"Zewu Jun, I had decided that I will never confess my heart to him, but that choice has now been taken away from me. He will know my heart even if I don't want him to."

Zewu Jun's brows crease, "Why is the choice.... " he starts and trails off. He remembers how Jiang Cheng had started the conversation, 'Our cores are going to merge, soon, you will know me... my thoughts and my heart... '

Understanding dawns on him, and his eyes widen, "But you dislike... You hate- You believed-" Zewu Jun fails at words. He looks at Jiang Cheng's downcast eyes, "Are you sure... " he trails off again and remembers how Jiang Cheng had saved his life just that morning, not once but twice, the man in front of him had shielded him. Why, just a few hours ago, he had come to his aid at the gates of Cloud Recesses.

"Oh." He mutters under his breath. The information had come as a shock to him. For how could Jiang Cheng, a presumably straight man, be in love with him.

'Didn't Jiang Cheng fancy Lady Qing?' He wonders, bewildered.

"Zewu Jun," Jiang Cheng calls, dragging the older Jade out of his reprieve. Jiang Cheng has a sad smile playing on his lips, "I don't expect you to love me back. I just wanted to tell you before you found out on your own- I - I didn't mean to - I don't know when it happened," Jiang Cheng gathers his courage. He walks closer to Zewu Jun, "I don't expect anything from you. I am not forcing you to love me back. All I want is for you not to hate me. Just don't hate me, Zewu Jun." Jiang Cheng finishes.

*****

"Yes, Lan Zhan, our core. I can feel it again. I can feel the emptiness where my core used to be." I tear rolls down Wei Ying's cheek, "I am sorry, I couldn't protect this body's core either. Your core recognizes me; it's keeping me alive. But I can feel that I am draining it. My existence is a burden to you. If we don't accept help soon, you will lose your core too. Only spiritual energy can heal me, Lan Zhan. I can see myself as mediocre, but I will never let it happen to you. I would rather... "

Lan Zhan embraces Wei Ying, "No, nothing is going to happen to you. I won't let it. We will receive help. I am ready."

*****

Zewu Jun realizes two things simultaneously, first, that it had taken a lot of courage for Jiang Cheng to confess to him and that he had done it to save their brothers. And second, that though Meng Yao had never told him how he felt, he too was in love with him.

XiChen realizes for the first time that he had never known romantic love. All his life, he had only tried to be the man his family and Clan expected him to be. He had never given love much thought. Thus, he had failed to recognize its depth when Wangji had told him that he wanted to bring Wei Ying to Gusu and hide him. Yes, he knew loyalty, honesty, and respect, but he did not know love. He had failed to see it when it was staring him right in his face. For, Meng Yao had looked at him with the exact same expression many times, as Jiang Cheng was directing at him right now.

Now that he knew what love looked like, regret filled his heart once again. 'If I would have understood his heart, would I have been able to stop him?' He wonders.

"Zewu Jun, say something. Anything." Jiang Cheng urges desperately, dragging the older man out of his thoughts, "I... I don't hate you." Zewu Jun whispers without looking at Jiang Cheng, whose heart breaks, for he knows that these words were not for him.

Yet, the man doesn't lose his calm. He doesn't break down. He can't break down, not now, not till he sees Wei Ying smiling again. He puts an arm on XiChen's shoulder, "Zewu Jun, I believe that Meng Yao knows that you don't hate him. And I am sure he doesn't blame you either. His soul is at peace. Both their souls are at peace." Jiang Cheng reassures the man in front of him.

"I never understood him." Zewu Jun whispers, looking at Jiang Cheng and his brows crease, "Maybe I could have stopped him. Maybe I could have saved-" Zewu Jun trails off and looks at Wei Ying. He sways, his knees give way, but Jiang Cheng supports him.

He walks him to Lan Zhan's bed, "Zewu Jun, Meng Yao is gone, but we can still save our brothers. I need you to be strong for them. I promise I will never let anyone know how I feel. Neither will I mention it to you again."

Another tear makes its way down XiChen's cheeks, "I am sorry, Jiang Cheng, I can't."

Having expected the reaction, Jiang Cheng nods and gives the older man's hand a gentle squeeze, "I am here for you, just like you were there for me, Zewu Jun. No strings attached." He smiles and stands up, "Now you know everything about me. Please try to forgive my wrongs and help my brother." He requests and bows to XiChen.

"Jiang Cheng," Zewu Jun starts, but stops when the door opens. Lan Bao, accompanied by the best cultivators of the Lan clan, enter his chamber.

Bao walks to the bed and smiles, "They are ready to accept your help, Clan leaders." He informs Jiang Cheng and Lan XiChen.

Jiang Cheng smiles, "I knew Wei WuXian would convince Lan Wangji!" He exclaims and looks at Zewu Jun, who stands next to Lan Zhan with a relieved smile on his face, "Elder, let us make haste." He suggests, and the physician nods.

"Seniors, and my peers, I need you to concentrate on your cores and pass the spiritual energy to Zewu Jun as we discussed. Do it only when I give you the signal." He instructs, and the cultivators arrange themselves in a semi-circle just a couple of feet behind XiChen.

After the physician is satisfied with the arrangement, he instructs Jiang Cheng and XiChen to do what they had done earlier.

"Zewu Jun, Clan leader Jiang, the situation is optimal for transferring spiritual energy now. Hold hands and let your cores mingle unrestrained." He adds, joining the two clan leaders hands.

This time, Jiang Cheng is ready; he opens his heart and mind and concentrates on their joined hands. 

Zewu Jun feels his fingers tingle when
Jiang Cheng's core begs entrance; the older man opens his heart and mind, letting Jiang Cheng enter it and see the heart. A heart that had just begun to understand the meaning of love.

{Note :- I know this is a heartbreaking update 😭 but most of you had guessed it already.

But the important question is: is there still hope for them?

On another note, my break did not go as planned, but I guess, something is better than nothing.

I am not sure which book I will update next 🤷‍♀.

Please Vote for this update if you have enjoyed it.

Thank you for reading.
Have a nice day.}