Queen of Hearts

Pagbukas ko ng mga mata ko, nasa loob na ako ng kwarto. Inalog ko ang ulo ko dahil sa pagkakaalala ko ay magkasama kami ni Jalen kagabi sa kotse habang sinusulatan niya ang kamay ko. Teka, nakatulog ba ako sa kotse at binuhat niya ako dito?

Agad akong napaupo sa kama ko para kalmahin ang sarili ko. Bakit wala akong maalala? Ganoon ba kahimbing ang tulog ko kaya hindi ko man lang namalayan na dinala niya ako dito sa kwarto?

Bumuntong-hininga ako at nang inilibot ko ang mga mata ko ay doon ko lang napagtanto na wala ako sa kwarto ko. Di hamak na mas malawak ito kaysa sa akin. May kulay gold na salamin sa may gilid ng kwarto na mukhang dressing table at sa baba nito ay isang maliit na couch. Pagtingin ko sa kanan ay may naka-setup na parang maliit na sala at may tv unit pa sa gitna.

Nasaan ba ako?

Bumangon ako sa kama at nagtungo sa cr na naka-konekta sa kwarto. Saktong huhugasan ko ang kamay ko nang makita ko ang drawing sa may kaliwang kamay ko. Isang mukha ng babae ang nakaukit dito at may korona rin sa ulo niya. Kamukha niya yung Queen of Hearts sa Alice in Wonderland dahil sa hugis puso nitong buhok at bibig.

Napangiti ako sa gawa ni Jalen. Hindi ako makapaniwalang nakatulog ako habang ginagawa niya ito. Effective nga talaga yung ginagawa dati ng mama niya.

Pagkatapos kong maghilamos, lumabas ako ng kwarto at namangha ako sa malaking hallway na tumambad sa akin. Naka-carpet ang buong sahig kaya nahiya akong umapak rito. Buti nalang at wala akong tsinelas ngayon.

Nagtungo ako sa hagdan at bumaba ako rito habang nakatikom ang aking bibig. Ayaw kong may makakita sa akin dahil alam ko kung nasaan ako ngayon... sa mansion ng mga Atkinson.

"Koleen?"

Isang pamilyar na boses ng lalaki ang nakabasag ng diwa ko. Hindi ko sigurado kung tama ang narinig ko o guni-guni ko lang ito.

"K!"

Napatigil ako sa may gitna ng hagdan. When I looked over my shoulder, a guy in plain, white shirt stared back at me in confusion. My heart was telling me to run towards him, but I tried to stay calm.

"K, ano'ng ginagawa mo dito?" Tanong ng best friend ko habang naglalakad na siya pababa ng hagdan para marating ako.

Gusto ko man siyang sagutin ay hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ako nandito ngayon.

Umiling ako sa kanya habang pinipigilan ang sarili kong hindi umiyak. Halos tatlong buwan na ang nakalipas simula nung huli kaming nagkita. Marami na rin ang nangyari sa loob ng maikling panahon na wala siya.

"K." Markell reached for my hand, squeezing it.

"Bakit ngayon ka lang bumalik, Kell?" I croaked, trying to suppress my tears.

"I'm sorry, K. I was trying to sort things out," the guy explained, his grip tightening over my hand.

My eyes twitched, trying to calm myself, but I couldn't.

"K, sorry na." Humakbang palapit si Markell kaya pati paghinga niya ay rinig ko na rin.

"Why don't you two make up before the family dinner later?" Boses ni Jalen ang nakaagaw ng atensiyon ko kaya napatingin ako sa direksiyon niya. Nakatayo siya sa may paanan ng hagdan habang nakatingin sa amin.

Ngayong nandito na si Markell, hindi ko maiwasang makaramdam ng kung ano. Pero hindi na ito katulad ng dati.

Tumalikod na rin si Jalen para umalis nang hindi man lang nagpapaalam.

"Anong family dinner?" Tanong ko sa lalaking kaharap ko.

Markell sighed. "Welcome party lang nila para sa akin."

Ni-invite ako ni senator? That almost sounded impossible, even in my dreams. Kaya ba ako dinala ni Jalen dito kagabi ng wala man lang pasabi? "Aalis na ako," I protested.

"K, dad wants you to be here," Markell insisted.

"Sabihin mo nalang na may sakit ako. Please, Kell, gusto ko lang mapag-isa."

Markell shook his head. "You're staying, K. No more questions."

#

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nakain ni senator para imbitahin ako. Not only that, Mr. Senator was all smiles at me as soon as I sat down with them in the long dinner table. If I wasn't sane enough, I would've confronted him and asked him why the hell he was suddenly being all nice and friendly. Pero siyempre hindi naman ako eskandalosa kaya hindi ko gagawin.

"We're glad you're able to join us tonight, Koleen," the oldest person in the room spoke from the far end of the table. Markell's grandfather had always been nice to me. Pero alam kong may dahilan kung bakit nila ako inimbitahan ngayong gabi.

"Thank you for inviting me, Lolo A," I answered, glancing at his direction. He just nodded his head at me as he grabbed the wine glass in front of him and took a sip from it.

"We want you to be here as we'd like to inform you about our plan of adopting you legally," the senator's words suddenly hit me right in the chest. I didn't even know what to think or feel in that moment.

"A-Adopt?" I had to confirm what I just heard because honestly, I might've just been hearing things as a result of my gloom the past weeks.

The senator nodded, passing a glare at me. "I assume Ellis already told you."

I didn't know why but my lips involuntarily twitched upwards as I turned to the guy beside me. "Wala po siyang nabanggit," I muttered.

"I promised your father that we will take care of you before he passed away. Your mother obviously can't take care of you," the senator continued.

There were only a few moments in my life where I wanted to scream and cry my heart out. I was always good at keeping the salty tears from trickling down my cheeks, but right now, I could already feel them about to flood the entire room. The silence only made the hot liquid to crawl out of my eyes in an instant.

A screeching sound halted the surge of despair growing inside me, making me look up to the one sitting across me.

Tumayo si Jalen sa kinauupuan niya at lumapit sa akin. "I'm so sorry for all of these, Konstant. In behalf of my insensitive family, I deeply apologize."

"Jale Enrico Atkinson, what do you think you're doing?" That was their mom's voice this time.

Jalen ignored his stepmom as he grabbed my hand and pulled me up from my seat. "Come on. I'll drive you home."

I didn't bother to look behind me as I followed Jalen out of the dining hall.

Inaamin kong gusto kong mapabilang sa pamilya nila. Pero hindi sa ganitong paraan.

The walk going towards the entrance of the mansion had never been this long. I might've just overlooked it before, but the hallways seemed to be narrower and farther this time as I let the guy in front of me drag me by the arm.

Nang makarating kami sa malaking kahoy na pintuan, muntik pa akong matapilok sa pagbaba namin sa hagdanan papunta sa driveway.

"K, wait!" Markell's voice suddenly stopped me from jumping off the cliff I was heading into. I wasn't ready, but I was left with no choice.

"Ano, Kell?" I blurted out, looking over my shoulder.

Nilapitan ni Markell si Jalen. "Can I talk to her?"

Jalen glanced at me as if asking me if I would be fine. I gave him a slight nod. "I'll wait for you here."

Markell grabbed my hand. Dinala niya ako sa kung saan hindi kami maririnig ni Jalen. "K..." he started to speak.

Tahimik lang ako habang nakatingin sa kanya. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nasa isip niya, which was always the case.

"I'm sorry hindi ko nasabi sa'yo. It's just that..." Markell paused, looking away. "I thought I could find a way to convince dad para hindi ituloy yung adoption."

Hindi ituloy ang adoption? Bakit? Gusto kong itanong... pero walang lumabas sa bibig ko.

"I told you na break na kami ni Flora, right?" Patuloy ni Markell.

Tahimik lang ako habang pabilis ng pabilis ang tibok ng puso ko. At hindi ko alam kung bakit.

"And you know that our families just set us up, right?"

Tumango ako. Hindi ko pa rin alam kung saan papunta ang usapang ito.

Kinuha niya ulit ang mga kamay ko at pinisil ito ng marahan. Ramdam ko ang init galing sa kanya. Pero nanatili lang ako sa posisyon ko.

"I'm in love with you, Koleen," Markell suddenly blurted out and I swore my breathing stopped for a moment.

Maybe it was because of the overwhelming emotions drowning me the past weeks or the loud murmurs going on inside the mansion right now, but I suddenly couldn't think clearly.

"I've been wanting to tell you, but..." Markell held my hands, tight like a leash.

"Kell..." I hushed. Huminga ako ng malalim para kumuha ng lakas at masabi ko na rin sa kanya ang matagal ko nang gustong sabihin. "Hindi mo alam kung gaano ko katagal hinintay ang araw na ito..." I continued.

His dark brown eyes glistened. "You feel the same way?"

I sighed. "Kell, it's different now and I'm not in a good place."

"K, alam ko... and that's why I'm willing to wait for you. I will wait for you... kahit ano pa ang sabihin nina mom and dad."

I shook my head at him, removing his grip from my hand. "Kell, mas mabuti pang magkaibigan nalang tayo."

"K, you're the only one that I want to spend the rest of my life with."

My heart was racing, much faster than when I overdosed myself with caffeine. But, I held my resolve. Masyado akong maraming iniisip. Ayaw kong madamay pa si Markell sa lahat ng pinagdadaanan ko.

"I love you, K." His words sounded foreign, or at least that was what I wanted it to sound like.

"Kell..." I paused, trying to swallow the guilt I was feeling. "I'm sorry."

Markell gritted his teeth, his legs about to bend in defeat. "Don't do this, K."

I didn't want to, but I had to. No matter how much I loved this guy in front of me right now. I had to let go of the love I had been trying to keep for years because if not, I would just get swallowed by it alive and I couldn't afford to die now... not when my mom needed me the most.

🍭

A/N: Big revelation... or is it? Lol

#iloveyou