A/N - Oh my god. We've come to the final episode of this book! I'm both ready and not ready.

"Every ship I go on, they just shoot at me. Handles, I said, put me on a ship. I didn't say, put me on a Dalek ship. Don't put me on a Dalek ship when I'm holding a broken bit of Dalek!" the Doctor ranted. He hit the Cyberman head with the Dalek arm and it bounced off and hit him in the head. "Ow!"

Elise sat reading a book on the stairs.

"You could help, you know?" he snapped.

Elise ignored him. She'd been feeling sad lately, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

"You did not indicate a preference," Handles told the Doctor.

"Use your head." He picked it up and carried it around the control room. "It's not like you've got a lot of alternatives. They're all here. Daleks, Sontarans, Terileptils, Slitheen. And they're not even fighting, they're just parked. Why?"

"The message was received throughout the universe."

"Yes, yes, the message, the message. Even I can't translate it. I mean, why is everyone here if they don't understand it?"

"You're here."

"Well, you know, I'm OCD. What's their excuse? What does this message mean?"

The phone started ringing and the Doctor put Handles back on his stand. "Oh, no. And remind me I've got to patch the telephone back through the console unit. This is getting ridiculous."

"Thank you!" Elise said, "I don't know why you moved it in the first place."

"Attention. Information available," Handles said.

"Okay?" the Doctor said.

"You must patch the telephone device back through the console unit."

"No, no. No, no, no, no. No, not now. Remind me later."

"When?"

"I don't know. Just later. Just pick a time."

"When?"

"I don't know. Just any old time. When you think I've forgotten."

"When?"

"Just pick a random number, express that number as a quantity of minutes, and when that time has elapsed, remind me to patch the telephone back through the console unit."

"Affirmative."

"How those Cyber-evenings must fly."

"You know, this would easier if you just let me do it," Elise told him.

"No, no."

"But you never let me work on the TARDIS!"

"I do too."

"You do not!"

The Doctor opened the door and grabbed the telephone. "Hello, the TARDIS. Ding dong. Okay, brilliant. I may be a bit rusty in some areas, but I will glance at a manual." The Doctor ran a hand through his hair.

He walked over to the console, phone in hand, and picked up Handles. "Oh, that was quick. It's a roller coaster this phone call. Well, I hope you're nicer to the next one. So? Yeah, I did that once and there's no easy way to get rid of an android. Yeah."

The scanner picked up a new spaceship entering the orbit of the planet.

"Handles, that's a new ship. Okay, we'll take the TARDIS this time. Sorry, missed that last bit. Got to dash." The Doctor hung up.

Elise was looking at him. "Clara, again?"

"Yes. She wants us to come for Christmas dinner." He ran out of the TARDIS with Handles and then quickly ran back in.

The phone started ringing again, so he popped out to grab it again. "I'm being shot at by Cybermen! Yeah, why not?"

Clara came running into the TARDIS, soon after they landed. "Doctor, I so need you!"

"Clara!"

"No, stop, stop, don't move. Don't do anything," Clara told him.

He was naked. Completely naked. "Why? What is it? What's wrong?"

Clara turned around, facing the door. "You're naked."

"Yes, I am naked. I wondered if you'd notice."

"Doctor, why are you naked?"

"Because I'm going to church." In the blink of an eye, he had clothes on again. "Better?"

Clara turned back around. "Oh, that was quick."

"Hologram clothes, projected directly onto your visual cortex."

"So you're still naked underneath?"

"Everybody's naked underneath."

"Ugh, don't say things like that. It's Christmas. Come and meet my family." Clara noticed that a certain redhead was missing. "Where's Elise?"

The Doctor scratched the back of his neck. "Um, not coming."

"What do you mean?"

"Elise...well you know how she is." How could he explain that the last Christmas dinner they'd had was with Amy and Rory?

Elise was in the control room when they re-entered the TARDIS.

Clara was carrying an uncooked turkey.

"You can't keep using the TARDIS like this," he told her.

"Like what?"

"Missed birthdays, restaurant bookings. And please, just learn how to use iPlayer."

They went underneath the console.

"Ooo, vortex cooking?" Clara asked, placing it inside.

"Yep, exposure to the time winds. It'll either come up a treat, or just possibly lay some eggs," the Doctor said.

"Information available," Handles told them.

"What's that?" Clara asked.

"Oh, just a bit of a Cyberman. He'll get us to the church on time," the Doctor explained.

"I have developed a fault," Handles said.

"The organics are all gone, but there's still a full set of data banks. Found it at the Maldovar market." The Doctor flipped a switch and they were back where they were before Clara called them.

"Planet identified from analysis of message," Handles said.

"Right, cool. Go on then. Okay, tell us, what is the planet? Go on," the Doctor told him.

"Processing official designation. Processing."

"Okay, in your own time, dear. Don't rush."

"So why haven't you just gone down there and had a look?" Clara asked.

"It's shielded. Even the TARDIS can't break through it."

"Gallifrey," Handles said finally.

"What did you say?"

"Excuse me?" Elise asked.

"Gallifrey," Handles repeated.

"What are you talking about? Gallifrey? What do you mean?" the Doctor asked.

"Confirmed. Planet designation, Gallifrey."

The Doctor grabbed Handles and walked him over to the monitor. "You see that? Gallifrey is our home. I know it when I see it. That is not Gallifrey."

"Doctor, are you okay?" Clara asked.

"It's not Gallifrey. Gallifrey is gone." He walked over to the door and opened it.

"Unless, unless you saved it. You thought you might have," Clara said.

"Even if it worked, it's still in its own pocket universe," Elise said.

They went back inside.

"It can't be," the Doctor breathed.

A loud fog horn blast came from outside.

"What's that?" Clara asked.

They looked outside and saw a big square spaceship.

"Papal Mainframe. It's like a great big flying church. The first ship to arrive. They are the ones who shielded the planet. They can get us down there," the Doctor explained.

A large holographic face appeared and the Doctor bowed.

"A friend of yours?" Clara asked.

"Tasha Lem, the Mother Superious," the Doctor said.

Tasha crooked her finger at them.

"Oh, she's inviting us aboard."

"Why?"

"Because I asked her. Swallow this." He held out a little pile to Clara.

"What is it?"

"Your hologram projector. You can't go to church with your clothes on." He blew a kiss to Tasha and landed the TARDIS inside the mainframe. He held out a small pile to Elise. "Take it."

"I'm not going in there with no clothes on."

"Elise, you have to. It's disrespectful."

"I don't care."

"Elise Amelia Smith."

Elise took it from him and swallowed it.

Clara tried hard not to laugh.

Despite being well over 500 years old, she still acted like a spoiled child sometimes.

They entered the Papel Mainframe.

"I don't feel like I'm wearing anything," Clara said.

"I know. Relaxing, isn't it?" the Doctor asked.

They walked between two rows of soldiers.

"What is this place?"

"The Church of the Papal Mainframe, security hub of the known universe."

"A security church?"

"Yep. Keeping you safe in this world and the next." The Doctor bowed and Clara curtseyed.

Elise did nothing.

"I venerate the exaltation of the Mother Superious," the Doctor said.

"Welcome to the Church of the Papal Mainframe. Your nudity is appreciated," the man standing next to Tasha said.

"Hey, babes," Tasha said.

"Loving the frock," the Doctor told her.

"Is that a new body? Give us a twirl."

The Doctor spun around. "Tash, this old thing? Please, I've been rocking it for centuries."

"Nice though. Tight."

Elise wanted to gag.

"So, er, hello. Also here," Clara said.

"Elise, Clara, this is Tasha Lem, the Head of the Church of the Papal Mainframe. Tash, this is my...my associate, Clara Oswald. Miss Clara Oswald," the Doctor introduced.

"And the girl?" Tasha asked.

Before Elise could open her mouth, the Doctor answered, "My daughter. Elise."

"Daughter? My, Doctor, you've been busy."

The Doctor blushed.

"Exquisite tattoo, by the way." Tasha turned to her second in command. "We'll go to my chapel. All honors in place, no sacrifices required."

"Oh, well that's good," Elise quipped.

Tasha smiled. "She has quite the attitude, doesn't she Doctor? I can see why you keep her around." Tasha gave Elise a wink before they started off for the chapel.