A/N - This was pretty fun to write. I love how the Second Elise plays off Eleven.

The TARDIS phone was ringing.

Elise opened the door and looked at it.

In all the years of traveling with the Doctor, the phone attached to the outside of the TARDIS had never rang. So why was it ringing now?

She shrugged and shut the door, going back to her reading.

When the Doctor arrived at the TARDIS, the phone was still ringing. The Doctor opened the door of the TARDIS and yelled, "Why didn't you answer the phone!"

"Not my problem!" Elise yelled back.

The Doctor rolled his eyes and slammed the door. God, she was moody today.

A few minutes later, the Doctor came running into the TARDIS dressed like a monk. He started throwing levers and pressing buttons.

"What's going on?" Elise asked as the TARDIS took off.

"Clara!"

"What?" The Doctor laughed.

The TARDIS landed and he ran out, Elise following. They walked up to a door and the Doctor started knocking and ringing the doorbell.

"Clara? What about Clara?" Elise asked him.

The door opened and there stood Clara.

"Hello," she said.

"Clara," the Doctor breathed, "Clara Oswald."

Elise stood there shocked.

"Hello."

"Clara Oswin Oswald."

"Just Clara Oswald. What was that middle one?"

"Do you remember me?"

"No. Should I? Who are you?"

"The Doctor. No? The Doctor? What about Elise?" He grabbed Elise and put her in front of her.

"Uh, no. I'm sorry. Doctor who?"

"No, just the Doctor. Actually, sorry, could you just ask me that again?"

"Could I what?"

"Could you just ask me that question again?"

"Doctor who?"

"Okay, just once more."

"Doctor who?"

"Ooo, yeah. Ooo. Do you know, I never realized how much I enjoy hearing that said out loud. Thank you."

"Okay." Clara slammed the door in their faces.

"Hey, no, Clara, please. Clara, I need to talk to you. Listen. Please!"

Elise grabbed his arm. "Stop it. You're going to scare her off!"

"Do you or do you not want to know why this girl keeps popping up in our life?"

"What if she's a trap? What if it's River all over again?"

"Then I guess we'll find out. Won't we?"

Clara's voice came out of a speaker next to the door. "Why are you still here? Why are you here at all?"

"Oi, you phoned me. You were looking for the internet."

"That was you?"

"Of course it was me."

"How did you get here so fast?"

"I just happened to be in the neighborhood, on my mobile phone." The Doctor stepped back and pointed to the TARDIS.

"When you say mobile phone, why do you point at that blue box?"

"Because it's a surprisingly accurate description."

"I'm sure she'd appreciate that description," Elise muttered.

The Doctor shushed her.

"Okay, we're finished now," Clara said.

"Oi! No, look..." The Doctor sighed.

"Well, done," Elise said.

"You..."

The Doctor stormed off into the TARDIS.

"So that's it? We're leaving?" Elise asked him.

"No." The Doctor started to pull off his monk robe. "Right. Don't be a monk. Monks are not cool." He went down to the lower level of the TARDIS and started pulling out clothes. He grabbed a fez and put it on his head before knocking it off. He pulled out two coats. His brown tweed from the Pond era and a purple knee length coat. To finish off the ensemble, he put on his favorite bowtie. He stepped onto the platform and gave Elise a little twirl.

She smiled. "I like it. Much better than that army green coat."

"Oi. What's wrong with that coat?"

Elise shrugged. "I just don't like it."

The two of them ran back to Clara's front door.

"Clara! Clara?"

"Hello?"

"Ah, see? Look, it's me. De-monked." He slapped his cheeks and spun around. "Sensible clothes. Can I come in now?"

"I don't understand."

"Could you just open the door?"

"I don't know."

"Of course you can."

"...where I am. I don't know where I am. Where am I? Please tell me where I am. I don't know where I am."

The Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver to open the door, but Elise shoved him aside. Elise, who was wearing heavy combat boots, kicked the door open.

"Elise!" the Doctor scolded.

"What? You wanted the door open, its open."

The Doctor shook his head and muttered under his breath as they entered the home.

Clara was lying on the floor.

The Doctor soniced her. "Clara? Clara?"

Elise took one of her wrists. "She's alive, but her pulse is weak."

"I don't know where I am. I don't know where I am. I don't understand. I don't know where I am! I don't understand. I don't know where I am."

The Doctor looked up and saw a girl on the staircase with a screen for a head.

"What the hell is that thing?" Elise asked.

"Where am I? I don't know where I am."

The Doctor started sonicing the robot. "Walking base station. Walking Wi-Fi base station. Hoovering up data. Hoovering up people." The Doctor ran out of the foyer, leaving Elise with the unconscious Clara. He came back with a laptop and started typing at a fast pace. "Oh no, you don't."

Elise monitored Clara's pulse as the Doctor continued to battle with the person on the other side of the laptop. "Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not this time, Clara, I promise."

"Come on. Come on," Elise urged the Doctor.

Finally, a beam of blue light shot from the robot to Clara.

Clara gasped for breath and Elise helped her to roll to her side.

"Okay. It's okay, it's okay. You're fine. You're back. Yes, you are. Oh yes, you are." The Doctor cradled Clara's head and kissed her forehead.

The Doctor and Elise sat outside, enjoying the night. The Doctor was trying to figure out the robot, while Elise read a book.

This body did a lot of that. She hardly ever picked up her paint set anymore.

"Hello?"

Elise and the Doctor looked up to see Clara looking out her little window.

The Doctor stood up.

"Hello! Are you all right?"

"I'm in bed."

"Yes."

"Don't remember going."

"No."

"What did I miss?"

"Oh, quite a lot, actually." The Doctor pulled out a notepad. "Angie called. She's going to stay over at Nina's. Apparently that's all completely fine and you shouldn't worry like you always do. For god's sake get off her back. Also, your dad phoned, mainly about the government. He seems very cross with them, I've got several pages on that. I said I'd look into it. I fixed that rattling noise in the washing machine, indexed the kitchen cupboards, optimized photosynthesis in the main flower bed and assembled a quadricycle."

Elise found it quite funny seeing the Doctor be all domestic, especially since he lost his mind after four days on Earth with the Ponds. Pond. Amy and Rory... Elise stopped that train of thought. No use in getting sad over something she couldn't change.

"Assembled a what?"

"I found a disassembled quadricycle in the garage."

"I don't think you did."

"I invented the quadricycle." The Doctor laughed.

"What happened to me?"

"Don't you remember?"

"I was scared, really scared. Didn't know where I was."

"Do you know now?"

"Yes."

"Well then, you should go to sleep. Because you're safe now, I promise. Goodnight, Clara."

Clara shut her window, before opening it again. "Are you guarding me?"

"Well, yes. Yes, I am."

Clara smiled and the Doctor gave her a small smile back. "Are you seriously going to sit down there all night?"

"I promise I won't budge from this spot." He flipped his screwdriver, before tucking it back in his jacket and leaning back in his chair.

"Well then, I'll have to come to you." Clara shut her window as the Doctor stood up.

"Eh?" He straightened his bowtie and smoothed out his coat.

"Are you...preening?" Elise asked him.

"What? No!" The Doctor's cheeks were turning pink.

"Oh my god! You are! You like her!"

"I do not!"

She raised an eyebrow at him. He remembered her first body doing that. She'd clearly held onto that trait.

"Oh shut up!"

Clara came out the house carrying a chair and balancing three mugs.

Elise rushed to take one from her.

"Thanks," Clara said.

"I like your house," the Doctor told her.

"It isn't mine. I'm a friend of the family."

"But you look after the kids. Oh yes, you're a governess, aren't you, just like..."

"Just like what?"

"Just like..." The Doctor took a sip of tea. "I thought you probably would be."

"Are you going to explain what happened to me?"

The Doctor picked up her laptop and sat across from her. "There's something in the Wi-Fi."

"Okay."

"This whole world is swimming in Wi-Fi. We're living in a Wi-Fi soup. Suppose something got inside it. Suppose there was something living in the Wi-Fi, harvesting human minds. Extracting them. Imagine that. Human souls trapped like flies in the world-wide web. Stuck forever, crying out for help."

"Isn't that basically Twitter?"

Elise let out a loud laugh. The Doctor smiled hearing her laugh. It was so rare these days.

The Doctor's brows furrowed and he looked at Clara.

"What's that face for?" she asked.

"A computer can hack another computer. A living, sentient computer, maybe that could hack people. Edit them. Re-write them."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because a few hours ago you knew nothing about the internet, and you just made a joke about Twitter."

"Oh. Oh. Oh, that's weird. I know all about computers now in my head. Where did all that come from?"

"You were uploaded for a while. Wherever you were, you brought something extra back, which I very much doubt you'll be allowed to keep." The Doctor stood up and stared at a man standing across the road. "You and me inside that box, now."

"I'm sorry?"

He urged Clara to stand up. "Look, just get inside."

"All of us?"

"Oh, trust me. You'll understand once we're in there."

"I bet I will."

The Doctor turned around, shocked at what she was implying. "Clara, please!"

"What is that box, anyway? Why have you got a box?"

"Clara."

"Is it like a snogging booth?"

"A what?"

"Is that what you do, bring a booth? There is such a thing as too keen." She took a sip of her tea and raised her eyebrows.

Bedroom lights started to turn on around them.

"Clara, look around you," the Doctor told her.

"What's going on? What's happening? Is the Wi-Fi switching on the lights?"

"No, people are switching on the lights. The Wi-Fi is switching on the people."

The man across the street head started to turn and reveal a screen.

"What is that thing?"

"A walking base station. You saw one earlier."

"I saw a little girl."

"It must have taken an image from your subconscious, thrown it back at you. Ah!" The Doctor smacked himself in the head. "Active camouflage. They could be everywhere."

"Doctor? Doctor."

The lights of the city behind them started to turn off.

"What's going on? Our lights are on and everyone else's off. Why?"

A plane could be heard in the distance.

"Some planes have Wi-Fi."

"I'm sorry?"

"We must be one hell of a target right now. You, me, box, right now." He grabbed Clara's hand and they ran into the TARDIS.