Okay, so I literally had a dream before I wrote this that a reader commented saying that this chapter was absolute trash and the worst one I've written yet. Please don't be that reader; I'm sensitive 😅

I will warn you that this is gonna be borderline crackfic? Idk, it's kinda weird. Enjoy!

Word Count: 4,412

Bruce began to feel embarrassed and ashamed about Hulk, especially since he came out more often after the scientist's nightmare.

A particular incident Bruce kept apologizing for was when the two were on a date looking for wild herbs in the nearby woods for Thor and Stephen to use. The green guy had decided to come out because "Hulk want kisses too!"

The scientist had hidden behind a tree after Hulk decided to leave, partially out of embarrassment and partially because he didn't have any extra clothes. Thor lent Bruce his shirt until they got back to the compound since it came almost to Bruce's knees.

"Bruce, I've told you, I like both you and Hulk! You don't need to be embarrassed when he comes out," Thor had assured him.

"But I'm scared he'll say something rude or dumb or destroy something or--urgh, he just stresses me out, okay?" Bruce pulled at his hair before burying his face in his hands.

Thor moved them aside. "Maybe if you let him out more often, he wouldn't stress you out as much," he said softly. "I'll make sure it's a safe environment. The woods were a good place. We just have to remember to bring a change of clothes next time." He chuckled.

Bruce groaned. "I don't know, Thor. You know my rocky relationship with Hulk."

"I know," he replied. "But think of it as like a two-in-one shampoo! I get a smart, nerdy scientist that I can talk about space with, and an awesome sparring partner who's not afraid of hurting me!"

Bruce chuckled. "That's not how two-in-one shampoo works."

Thor grinned. "All I'm asking is for you to consider it."

Fast-forward a few days. Peter mentioned going into New York for patrol since it was his weekend to visit his Aunt May and Pepper. Thor had asked to go along to see what Peter did, and to step in if he needed to. Stephen portaled the pair to the Sanctum and Peter began his rounds.

The two currently sat on a rooftop overlooking Central Park. They had stopped a store robbery and helped a pair of girls walk home safely from a bar after seeing a group of guys eyeballing them from further down the street. (Thor also gave the guys a stern talking-to and threatened to set his brother loose on them).

They sat and ate some churros Peter had bought, despite Thor's protests.

"Dude, I'm pretty sure I have more money than you," Peter had replied when Thor objected.

Thor perked up, shoving the rest of the churro in his mouth as he saw a tall, dark figure land at the edge of a meadow in the park.

"Did you see that?" he asked, but Peter was already masking up when he turned to look.

The two jumped down from the building and slinked across the edge of the meadow among the shadows. They approached the spot where they first saw the figure, which was now vacant.

"Wasn't it right her--"

The two stumbled back as the figure landed in their path from the trees. It even towered over Thor.

"I see you have led me to some snacks, Eddie!" The figure exclaimed. Thor's eyes focused to see a black, slimy-looking creature with a human-like figure, aside from the height and extra muscles--oh yeah, and the huge, milky-white eyes and teeth.

"Snacks?" Peter laughed nervously. "Venom, you know me!"

"Fine." The creature--Venom--turned to Thor. "A snack. You look very yummy. Very beefy. My dinner tonight will be glorious."

"Um, I actually have a boyfriend that I would like to get home to in one piece," Thor squeaked. Normally he wouldn't be intimidated by these things, but now he had an external sense of self-preservation named Bruce.

"Okay, okay, knock it off, Venom. I'll make you some family-sized brownies with extra hot fudge when we get home," a different voice interrupted.

"Fine." The creature's black skin began dissolving, revealing a smaller, brown-haired man underneath.

"Hey Peter," he greeted, nodding. "Sorry about Venom. He hasn't had his dinner yet, as you can tell. I'm Eddie Brock," he said, turning to Thor.

"Thor Odinson," the god replied. "Oh! What are your pronouns? I go by he/him."

"Same," Eddie replied.

Venom's face appeared over Eddie's shoulder, making Thor jump a little. "I go by he/it at the moment. But when Eddie and I are bonded, we call ourselves we. You can call us 'they' though."

Eddie scratched Venom's chin. "I didn't realize you were aware of pronouns, buddy."

"I've been living with you for two years, Eddie. We even went to a Pride parade."

Eddie blushed. "I guess you have a point."

"I go by he/him," Peter added. "What brings you here?"

"Oh, we were just in the neighborhood patrolling like you do. I haven't seen Thor come with you before." Eddie nodded at the god, Venom still hovering over his shoulder.

"I decided to come along for fun." He gazed at Venom. "May I ask a question?"

Eddie looked at his symbiote, who nodded. "Sure."

"Venom, are you like...Eddie's alter ego or a whole different being?"

"I am a symbiotic organism that survives off of a host."

"I didn't know you had that big of a vocabulary," Eddie mumbled, earning a whack upside the head from a slimy, black tendril.

"Is Eddie your only host, or can you survive off anyone?"

"Anyone who is compatible. Some people have been unable to handle me and died. Eddie has not died yet. And even though he is a loser, he has been my most compatible host and companion."

"Thanks buddy," Eddie replied, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "Or should I say, parasite," he whispered.

"WHAT!?"

Thor chuckled but tuned them out as he heard a rattling sound coming from a bridge tunnel several yards away. It sounded like a sewer lid. He began walking toward the sound, his hands crackling with lightning to provide some source of light.

"Um...Mr. Thor?" Peter called. "It's not a good idea to wander into tunnels at night."

"Oh my gosh, did he say Thor!?" a voice whispered excitedly from inside of the tunnel.

"He literally has lightning coming out of his hands right now and you're asking that?" another voice whispered.

"Show yourself!" Thor demanded.

He stopped abruptly, coming face-to-face with a...turtle??? Four turtles???

"Mr. Thor, we're such big fans!" a turtle with an orange mask exclaimed.

"Oh, well I'm honored, yet I'm ashamed to say I don't know who you are," Thor replied, lowering his electrified hands.

"Oh, we're the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles," the orange-masked one replied.

"Actually, that depends if you're going off of human years or not. If you go off of turtle years, we're more like the Middle-Aged Mutant Ninja Turtles," a turtle with a purple mask replied.

"It doesn't have as nice of a ring to it," a blue-masked turtle replied.

Thor heard footsteps behind him and turned to see that Peter and Eddie walked up.

"Hey guys!" Peter greeted, waving.

"Hey Peter!" All four of them chorused.

"Young Spider, you know these turtles?"

"Yep! That one is Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, and Michaelangelo," he replied, pointing to each turtle as he named them. "They help protect the city, like Venom and me."

"But we usually go by Leo, Donny, Raph, and Mikey," Mikey replied.

Thor nodded. "What are your pronouns?"

"He/him," all four replied.

"But you can also call us it or they, we don't care," Donny added.

"I can't believe we finally get to meet you!" Mikey exclaimed. "Talk about right place, right time."

"We helped evacuate people to the subways during the battle of New York," Leo said. "We are usually very careful about revealing our identities, but we figured we wouldn't be the weirdest thing people had seen that day. Everyone has probably forgotten about us by now."

"Well, thank you for helping us, and for keeping the city safe since then," Thor replied.

"Aw shucks, now I'm blushing," Mikey replied.

Raph whacked him. "We can't blush. The green cancels out the red. Haven't you watched makeup tutorials before?"

The three other turtles looked at him. "No?"

Thor chuckled. "Don't worry Raphael, I know what you mean. I like to do art." He clapped his hands together. "So...do you all live in the sewers?"

They nodded. "Us and our master, Splinter. He's a giant talking rat," Mikey said.

"So I presume since you called yourself mutants that turtles on Midgard aren't normally this size?"

They shook their heads. "We were the result of a lab experiment," Donny said. "It made us big and gave us supreme intelligence."

"More like it gave Donny supreme intelligence. The rest of us are sort of...average," Raph added, shrugging. "Donny is the brains of the team."

"So with all due respect, all of you are freaks!" Thor said, beaming.

"Um...I guess so," Leo says.

"I would agree."

Thor hopped excitedly. "This is great! I know someone who would love all of you! Would you be willing to meet here same time, same place tomorrow night?"

The turtles and Venom nodded.

"We could take you to our hideout, too. We'd just have to blindfold all of you," Raph said.

"Oh, this is perfect! He's going to love this!

"Psst, Mr. Thor, it's getting late," Peter informed him. "My dads will want me back."

"It was lovely meeting all of you!" Thor said, following Peter out of the tunnel. "Have a good night!"

The turtles waved before disappearing in the sewer. Venom followed Peter and Thor for a few blocks before stopping at an apartment building.

"Who were you thinking of bringing here tomorrow?" Peter asked.

"Pfft, isn't it obvious???" Thor replied.

"Thor, why did you and Peter bring me to Central Park at 10 pm? This is a good way to get mugged," Bruce fretted, looking around. "And why do you have pizza and two pounds of chocolate?"

"Young Spider said it would be a good thank-you gift," Thor replied, not offering any extra information.

Bruce froze, grabbing Thor. "What's that up ahead?" he whispered. He could feel the Hulk in the back of his mind growing louder as he saw a towering, dark figure.

"Oh! That's one of our friends!" Thor waved. "Venom! Eddie!"

"CHOCOLATE!!!!"

The creature hurtled toward the trio, making Bruce cower behind his boyfriend.

"You brought me chocolate???" Venom asked, skidding to a halt in front of them.

"Yes! Peter told me you'd like some!"

Venom shot out a pair of tendrils, reaching for the grocery bag. They pulled out a chocolate bunny, barely remembering to unbox it for Eddie's sake before eating it whole. They belched. "Yummy!"

"Oh! I'd also like you to meet my friend, Bruce. It's alright Bruce, they won't hurt you."

Bruce leaned around Thor. "H-Hi."

"So you are the freak that Thor told us about? He doesn't look very freaky."

"Venom, be nice," Eddie chided, his face showing partially.

"Bruce has a big green rage monster named Hulk that comes out when he's scared or angry," Thor explained.

"It might not be very long until he comes out, Thor!" Bruce hissed.

"Don't worry, I brought a change of clothes," he whispered.

"What!?"

"Ah! We've heard of you!" Venom exclaimed, earning Bruce's attention again.

"Wassup, my dudes!" a voice echoed from the nearby bridge tunnel. The ninja turtles appeared.

"Thor...I think I'm getting a little freaked out..." Bruce said, eyeballing the turtles.

"Hello my friends! We brought you pizza as a thank-you gift!" Thor exclaimed.

"Yes!!!" Mikey exclaimed. He ran up to the god, grabbing the box.

Donatello gasped, looking at Bruce. "You're Bruce Banner! I've studied your work for years!"

"Thor...how does a talking turtle know me?"

The god chuckled. "Donatello is the nerd of the group. I'm not surprised that he's heard of you."

"Thor, I don't think you realize, but I just might Hulk out if you keep this up."

Thor smiled. "Perfect. They want to meet him."

"What!? No! You know he's bound to destroy something!"

Thor kissed his cheek. "We're going somewhere safe. Plus, he'd have to go through four turtles, an alien symbiote, a very strong spider-boy, and a god. I think all of us can handle him."

Bruce took a deep breath. "Okay. I just wish I had a little bit more of a heads up."

"Sorry," Thor replied.

The smaller man sighed. "That's okay. Not telling me probably makes it easier for the Hulk to come out."

Thor clapped his shoulder. "That's the spirit! Raph, did you bring the blindfolds?"

"Yep!" he replied, shoving the rest of his pizza slice in his mouth. He pulled out four cloth sacks from his belt. "Follow us."

The four followed the turtles through the sewers, holding onto one another. Footsteps, dripping, and the rustling of candy wrappers from Venom echoed off the walls.

"Why don't you ever buy me this much chocolate at once, Eddie?"

"Because I would probably go into cardiac arrest."

"..."

"I think I've had enough chocolate for now."

The group chuckled, but otherwise remained silent. Bruce had been squeezing Thor's hand the entire time. He hadn't indicated Hulk's condition at all.

There was a grinding of metal gears up ahead, then Bruce saw light through his blindfold.

"Welcome to our crib, bruh!"

"Our fortress of solitude!"

"Our Hogwarts!"

"Our Xavier Academy!"

"Our next generation, state-of-the-art WonderDome!"

The blindfolds were taken off to reveal a cleaner, more lived-in part of the sewer with higher ceilings than the tunnel they'd first dropped into. Various Christmas lights and LED strips illuminated the space. The walls and ceilings held countless items that had washed into the sewers. One corner was filled with computers and other tech, another looked like some kind of training area, and another was a rec area. Straight ahead was a space with a table in the middle that had cushions on two sides. The wall behind it was stacked with various boomboxes and car radios. Bruce guessed based on the cushions that it was a meditation space.

"Ah, my sons! I see you brought your friends!" a voice echoed through the room.

Bruce's eyes widened to see a giant rat step out from behind a nearby pillar. His breath quickened. Due to previous poor living conditions, he'd developed a slight fear of rodents. A six foot tall one pushed him over the edge.

"Thor!" was all he managed to say before the green guy took over.

Everyone turned as Hulk looked around. He looked down at Thor, a slight bit of fear in his face. "Thor?"

"I'm here, it's alright," Thor reassured, grabbing one of his hands. "Peter's here too. We have some friends we'd like you to meet."

"Friends?"

Thor nodded, then introduced everyone.

"Wanna show us your moves?" Raph offered, gesturing to the sparring ring.

Hulk looked down at Thor, who nodded. The green guy roared and ran after Raph and Leo, Venom following.

Peter retracted his mask since everyone in New York knew his identity at that point. He pushed a hand through his hair. "Wow, your hideout is awesome!" He looked at Splinter. "Thanks for letting us come here!"

"It's my pleasure," Splinter replied. "It's not every day that my sons get to meet people similar to them."

Thor stepped forward. "I apologize on Bruce's behalf for freaking out when he saw you. I didn't give him a very fair warning, and the Hulk comes out to protect him when he's scared."

Splinter waved a paw. "That's okay. It looks like the Hulk is having fun." He nodded to the sparring ring, where Leo and Raph were showing him and Venom some martial arts moves. Thor chuckled as he saw Hulk raise one leg in the air, then lose balance and fall onto his back. He laughed along with everyone else.

Donny turned to Peter, gesturing to the computer wall. "May I ask you some questions about your nanotech suit?"

"Of course," Peter replied, nodding and following him.

Thor's eyes bounced from them to Mikey, who broke into a run for the door they first came through. A knock sounded not a second later.

Mikey opened it to reveal a dark-haired woman in her mid-twenties. She stopped to hug him, then continued through the door.

"April's here!" Mikey announced.

All of the turtles chorused some version of hello before going back to what they were doing.

April looked around before her eyes landed on Thor. "I see some new faces."

"I'm Thor, god of thunder. The boy in the red suit over there is Peter, or Spiderman, the dark and slimy creature is Venom, and the green guy is Hulk, who is also my sweet and amazing boyfriend," he gushed. He held out his hand.

"I'm April O'Neil," she replied, shaking it firmly.

"April's dad worked at the lab that we were raised at, and she saved us when it caught fire," Splinter said.

"I now work as a researcher and assist the turtles with their missions."

"April brings me a lot of the up-to-date technology," Donny said, gesturing to his computer screens. "Not all of these fall into the sewers or get thrown in dumpsters."

Thor turned to April. "You'd like my friends, Jane and Darcy. They're scientists that study astrophysics."

April's eyes widened. "Wait, Jane Foster and Darcy Lewis!? I've followed their work for years! Astrophysics isn't my field of study, but the research they've done is fascinating!"

Thor nodded. "They're both amazing women! Their intelligence greatly exceeds mine." He looked back to the training ring. "Bruce would probably like to talk to you if he transforms back before we leave."

"I would love to meet him," she replied.

The god made eye contact with the Hulk.

"Thor play!" Hulk yelled.

He grinned. "Alright, if you insist." He ran across the room and barreled into Hulk, the two crashing into the opposite wall. Both got to their feet, Thor barely having time to duck a punch from his partner. He dived forward, wrapping his arms around Hulk's knees, making him fall onto his back.

"Ha!" Thor yelled, laying on the green guy's stomach.

Hulk smirked and rolled over, squishing the god underneath him.

"Okay, you win!" Thor wheezed. Hulk laughed and sat up, grabbing and kissing his winded boyfriend on the cheek.

"I won!" he teased, gazing triumphantly at the turtles and Venom, who cheered.

Thor used a tiny amount of his lightning powers to shock Hulk.

"Ow!" he roared, then threw Thor across the ring. The god laughed as he flew through the air.

Hulk smirked as he sat down beside Leo then yawned. "Hulk tired."

"What time is it?" Thor asked, standing up.

Eddie appeared, checking his watch. "A little after midnight."

The god walked over, sitting beside Hulk. "Did you have fun?"

The green guy nodded.

"Do you want to turn in now? Bruce may want to get to know the others, too."

He nodded again.

Thor turned in the direction of the computer wall. "Young Spider, yeet me my backpack!" Peter had just taught him that word the past week.

Peter took off the backpack he was wearing and hurled it across the room.

Thor caught it and unzipped it, pulling out a blanket and draping it over the Hulk's lap. "Please give us some space," he directed the turtles and Venom. "Bruce usually doesn't like an audience after he transforms.

The three nodded and left the sparring ring.

Thor grabbed Hulk's hand and began stroking it. "The sun's getting real low, big guy."

Hulk's eyes drooped after a minute and he smiled as he began to shrink down.

"Goodnight Thor," he murmured, almost completely gone.

"Goodnight, Hulk," he replied, kissing him on the cheek. He pulled away to see Bruce lying under the blanket.

The scientist looked around, drawing the blanket tighter around him. "Where are we? Are we in the sewers, or was that all a dream?"

"No, it wasn't. We're still here," Thor replied in a soft voice, hoping it would help soothe his boyfriend. He dug around his backpack. "Here are some clothes."

"Thanks," Bruce murmured as he took them, slipping the shirt over his head. Even though the scientist was putting his pants on under the blanket, Thor still turned around, mainly to see where Donatello and April were.

The god felt a nudge and turned to see the blanket being handed to him. A now-clothed Bruce sat in front of him.

"Do you want to talk to Donatello and April?" Thor offered. "They both really like your work."

Bruce nodded, and Thor helped him up. Both continued to hold hands as they walked over to April, where she was having a conversation with Eddie and Peter about their experiences in the news business.

April paused when she saw them approaching. "Doctor Banner! I've always wanted to meet you!"

Bruce furrowed his brows. "You have?"

She nodded excitedly. "I've studied your work about gamma radiation! I've used your papers to help figure out how the mutagen transformed the turtles."

Donatello walked over. "I have a few questions, too!"

Soon, Bruce was whisked away by the two, talking in Donny's tech area.

Thor stared after them, then jumped as Eddie spoke right beside him, not realizing he had walked over.

"So, how long have you and Bruce been dating?"

"Oh, about a month now," Thor replied. "I've loved every minute of it."

Eddie smiled. "How's dating Hulk been? Do you find it weird, dating something that isn't quite human?"

"I could ask the same for you."

Eddie chuckled.

Thor continued. "No, I don't find it very weird. Probably because I've seen weirder. My brother once mated with a horse, but he can also change forms. Anyway, Hulk has been on the team basically since I've joined, so I've had time to get to know both of them." He paused for a moment. "Maybe I misunderstood. Are you romantically involved with Venom?"

Venom appeared over Eddie's shoulder, looking to its host for an answer.

Eddie shrugged, scratching Venom's head. "Yeah, we try to be when we're not biting peoples' heads off or when I'm not in the hospital from eating five chocolate-scented candles!" He glared at the symbiote.

"Hey! I've learned my lesson!" Venom retorted. "From now on, I've learned to listen to you when you've said something cannot be eaten."

Thor laughed. "Why do you like chocolate so much?"

"There is a type of chemical--"

"--phenethylamine--"

"--in the human brain that is required for me to survive. But, small traces of it are also found in chocolate. And since Eddie, being the loser he is, won't let me eat humans all the time, I eat tons of chocolate, which is the next best thing. Oh yeah, and tater tots!"

"Well, that's a quite exotic diet," Thor replied, chuckling.

"Does your boyfriend like eating humans too?"

The god waved a hand. "No. Hulk just likes beating them up. Bruce mainly likes to drink tea. I don't know if the Hulk has any cravings."

The three continued talking for another twenty minutes before Bruce wandered up, wrapping his arms around Thor's waist. The scientist wasn't used to public displays of affection yet, so he must've been very tired if he was doing that.

"I'm tired," Bruce murmured not even a second later, resting his head on his boyfriend's shoulder.

Thor chuckled and turned his head to kiss his temple. "I can tell."

Peter walked over. "I'm getting pretty tired too." He turned to the turtles. "Do you guys mind if we head out?"

The turtles shook their heads.

"I'll lead them out," April offered.

Raph grabbed the blindfolds and handed them to her. "Thanks for coming! It was really cool hanging out with you guys!"

"Thank you for having us!" Thor replied. "This was fun!"

"Yeah, fun was had," Bruce murmured, still hugging Thor. The group chuckled.

"Venom and I will head back with you, too," Eddie said.

Thor turned around, forcing Bruce to relax his grip on his waist. "I'm going to pick you up now," the god said. Bruce mumbled as Thor grabbed the backs of his thighs and hoisted him up, the scientist's legs wrapping around his waist and his arms around his neck.

"It was lovely meeting you all!" Thor called from the doorway before sacks were slipped over everyone's heads. "I hope we can all get together again!"

"We too!" Mikey replied.

"Bye!" Everyone chorused.

It was about 2 a.m. when they got back to the compound. Peter and Thor walked through Wong's portal into the dark hallway.

"Goodnight, Spiderling," Thor whispered as Peter paused at his bedroom door.

"Goodnight, Mr. Thor," he replied.

Thor carried a sleeping Bruce further down the hall to his room. The god felt a little drool on his neck, but that was okay. They had had a long night.

He carefully laid the scientist in his bed, tucking the blankets in around him. "Goodnight," he whispered, kissing his hand.

Bruce's hand tightened as the god tried to pull away. "Thor," he mumbled.

The god stroked his face. "Shh, I'm sorry for waking you. Go to sleep, darling."

"No, no it's fine. I just wanted to say thank you for making me meet the turtles and everyone else. The Hulk and I had a lot of fun. Basically, thanks for thinking of us. Getting to know them and their abnormalities makes me feel better about mine."

Thor grinned. "Aw, you're welcome, Bruce. I'll do anything to help you love yourself." He leaned down and looked at Bruce's lips, his gaze asking permission.

The scientist nodded slightly, and they both met in a kiss.

"Goodnight," The god murmured.

"Goodnight."

Thor looked at his partner one last time before leaving his room. He silently vowed to help Bruce learn to love himself; whatever it took.