Julian only stopped driving when they switched cars, when they were refueling and finally when they reached a tiny little town called Imanay up in the mountains of Kiryu, the Easternmost province of the Elorian region. They had been driving for hours and by the time they arrived the sun had set and the stars were out, sprinkled all over the ink blue sky. It was nearly midnight.

He pulled up in front of a small inn, and after the General, who was now in the front seat, stepped out of the vehicle, Julian turned towards Thea. "We're here."

Thea fumbled for her things, half asleep but forcing herself to stay awake the whole time because she thought it would be inappropriate for her to sleep after all the trouble she caused, while Julian and the General stayed awake, alternating the driving.

So she got out of the car quickly, not wanting to be any more of a hassle and looked around, seeing the tiny little town and breathing in the crisp, clean air of the mountains. They were at the town square, which had an inn, a general store, bakery, a post office, a bar and a police station all in one area, all circling a lovely little fountain in the middle of it. And that was it. Well, that was all she could see in the darkness of the night, the old cobblestone roads lit only by dim lamps.

She imagined that if you were to follow the roads down in the direction of the shadowy mountains off in the distance, you would probably find all the homes of the people who lived here, though no one was out right now.

They were certainly really, really far away from the city.

She followed the two men up the steps of the inn, and when they entered, they were greeted by an older Elorian woman sitting at the front desk. "Niall!" She exclaimed, making it clear that she knew him.

Niall smiled and when Thea looked at him, she saw the exhaustion plain as day on his face. It made her feel worse, but the woman distracted her by beginning to speak in Old Elorian, the ancient language of Eloria which was barely spoken these days by anyone except for those who lived in rather isolated areas of the land– areas that were largely untouched by the Aiverian occupation.

Even before Eloria was taken over by Aiveria, the language began to fade away in the more urban areas. Nowadays it was almost never heard in areas such as Abureth and Gaila seeing as the Aiverians enforced their own language upon the Elorians after taking over a hundred years ago. Old Elorian was now practically useless, the knowledge of it meaning nothing for any sort of worthwhile career.

Despite her own Elorian pride, Thea herself barely understood the language. All she really knew were words and phrases from lullabies and songs her grandmother used to sing to her. And her brother... he too used to sing her Old Elorian songs, proving he was rather well versed in it thanks to their maternal grandparents who spoke pretty much only that– her mothers family had come from the outskirts of Abureth, after all, her grandfather moving them to the city so they could have a better life.

However, her maternal grandparents were long dead by the time Thea was old enough to learn it and her paternal grandmother, despite being a teacher and then a principal, never thought it significant to teach it to even her own children, let alone her grandchildren.

Now, Old Elorian was a language they taught the basics of for a few years in elementary school so that Elorian's could value their history. But that was it.

Hearing it now, here, was more than enough to make Thea certain that they were literally in the middle of nowhere.

She assumed, as she tried to comprehend what the woman was saying but managing to only pick up on a few phrases, that the woman didn't actually know Niall well. Why would she think he knew the language–

Thea's train of thought was caught off by the General responding back to her in fluent Old Elorian.

She blinked, taken aback.

The two held a conversation with one another and Thea could barely keep up, but before she gave up trying, the General turned and handed Julian two sets of keys. "Take her to her room," he said, the pleasant air he had when speaking to the older woman gone, "I'll meet you there."

"Understood, Sir," Captain Brayne said as he took the keys and began walking down the hall.

Thea didn't need to be told to follow.

The General didn't take long to join them in the room that was all the way down the hall but she dreaded the wait, sitting on the bed with her back straight and hands in her lap, and Julian's looming presence as he stood at one side of the room, leaning against a wall in silence, didn't help much at all either.

Finally, when she heard the door click open, she found herself jolting up into an even straighter position as he walked in and shut the door behind him.

She expected anger.

She expected yelling.

She expected fire and rage despite the fact that she had gotten used to the coolness of his green eyes and the calmness of his demeanor.

She had betrayed his trust. She had broken her contract. She had put them all in a situation where guns were pointed at them. She had made a huge mistake... a huge mistake that everyone who knew about it had tried to stop her from making.

And for that, she expected a storm.

However, when the General turned to face her, she got none of that. Instead, the look on his face was utter disappointment and somehow, that was worse. "What were you thinking?" He asked, his voice icy and stern, but quiet.

He was giving her an opportunity to explain herself but she couldn't think of a reasonable response despite the fact that she had thought of a hundred things to say to him while driving here... a thousand things to yell back when he yelled at her.

She hadn't expected this.

She didn't know how to answer without being prompted to yell. "I..." she started. She looked down at her hands, not able to look him in the eyes. "I wanted to help."

"Help?" he responded. "Help how? By getting yourself killed? Who are you helping by putting yourself at risk?"

"I didn't think it would end up like that. I just wanted to help–"

"Which is exactly why you don't make such foolish decisions on your own, Rhaanan–" Thea flinched. The last time he had spoken to her, he had called her Thea. Now it wasn't even Miss. Rhaanan. She had been dropped down to simply Rhaanan. She didn't know why that mattered to her, but it hurt all the same. "People in our positions do not go around making such risky decisions on their own. Think about it. Have you never, not once, wondered why even I rely so heavily on a team? Me? The General of the Aiverian Army. The Deputy Secretary of Defence. Me, one of the most powerful men in this entire nation. Have you ever wondered why even with all of that power, I rely so heavily on the people I work with? How I don't make a single decision without direction from those I trust?"

She had never wondered that.

She had never even realized it.

"No, clearly you didn't. Because it's all about what you want is it? You wanted to help? Well, in that case, shall I tell you what I want to do right now?" He asked, though not waiting for her to respond. "I want to go back to that nest and shoot down every single one of those Revolutionary Crows. Why? Because they made me angry. Because, whether it's their fault or not, they put myself and people that I care about in danger. I want to get rid of them because all they have done is cause destruction, from running an entire town out from their homes and forcing the people that still live there to live in fear, to bombing a fort and attacking the very State that I work for," he said. "That's what I want."

She looked at him.

"But," he continued. "I won't do that. I won't do that despite the fact that I could pick up the phone right now, have an army of State Soldiers at the gate of that town by morning and the blood of every single Crow there seeping into the soil of the very town they destroyed by noon."

She was holding her breath, fear overwhelming her.

"Why? Because instead of running buckwild and doing what I want, I have learned to value the opinion of those I trust. If I discussed my wants with my team, Milo, who has mastered the ability of looking at things in unconventional ways, would have reminded me that slaughtering that entire division would be like burning a book with valuable information and resources that could help us in the long run. Luana, who has an understanding of the inner workings of the military unlike most because of her Elorian background, would have reminded me that the soldiers I send wouldn't care to put in the effort to distinguish between a civilian and a Crow. Aari, who knows the Crows better than anyone, would have reminded me that acting out against this division would give them all more of a reason to oppose the State, as well as make a martyr out of their leader. Kaya, who handles all the logistics, would have told me that though she could get me everything I needed and we would win, easily, the effort isn't worth it because of the negatives that others have said. And Julian, the level headed moral compass who knows everyone on this team better than even themselves, would have looked me in the eye and told me that my anger is no reason to slaughter an entire town, Crows Nest or not."

Thea was dumbfounded as she thought through all the Naill had said. She didn't realize until then the significance of everyone's role. She didn't realize how well they all worked together and how much they relied on one another to make the right decisions.

And though she understood all that he was saying and cared about all those people and their words, it still confused her. What was she doing here? What was her role? Why was she a part of this team now? Why, despite understanding his words, did she feel like she was not part of this?

But then again, maybe she didn't feel a part of the group because she wasn't. How could she be when she had broken their trust? These people had been a team for a long time already and she was still new... she had not yet given them a reason to fully trust her. Now, however, she may have ruined that for good.

"I don't go and do something so risky on my own simply because I want to, whether it is to help someone or to hurt someone," he continued. "We go about it as a team. You should have come to me and talked to me about this, not hide your conversations with Vetori from me."

"If I came to you, you would have said no," she wasn't trying to argue, which is why she kept looking at him as she said it. She wanted to explain herself.

She didn't want him to be mad at her.

She didn't want him to stop trusting her.

She wanted him to hear her. To understand her. Even if she was most certainly wrong.

"And if you said no," she continued. "I... I would have felt like a traitor to my own people... I would have felt like..."

"Like me?" Niall asked.

Thea was about to protest, but he held his hand up.

"Or like Luana? Or maybe Aari?" he asked. "But I don't need you to answer that, because I understand now. You didn't do this because you wanted to help Vetori. You did this because you wanted to make sure that you didn't feel like a traitor."

She furrowed her brows. No.

But she knew he was right, Luana too.

"You did this for yourself. You did this because you were selfish. If you really cared for Vetori, but more importantly, protecting the people you care about, then you would have listened to Luana and Milo when they tried to explain the consequences of your actions to you. You would have come to the rest of us to evaluate all of the pros and cons before making the decision. Instead, you did what you did because you wanted to do it for yourself."

She felt her eyes water, looking back down at her hands to hide it. She realized right then that her hands weren't shaking. That was odd, but it wasn't hard for her to figure that it was because Thea wasn't scared. No... she wasn't scared.

She was sad and disappointed in herself... not scared.

"You may think of the rest of us as traitors, Theavi, but at least we stand for something. We put others before ourselves." he said. "With the decision you have made today, you've shown me that you stand for yourself. You fight for yourself. You are driven only by your emotions and want things your way."

"I'm sorry," she said, though it came out as a whisper. "I really thought I was trying to help. Really."

"Then you are more naive than I thought you were."

That word.

It stung her.

But she had no right to be mad. "I'm sorry."

"If saying sorry was enough we'd be living in a different kind of world. You not only put yourself at risk, but your actions could have gotten Julian and I killed too. The fact that we came out of there alive... that in itself is a miracle–"

"I know," she responded, the tears leaking out of her eyes and falling down onto her hands and pants. "But still, I'm so, so sorry. I know I can't take it back and I appreciate you and Julian coming to help me more than anything... but I never imagined that it would turn out like this. I never imagined that I would put you and Julian in so much danger–"

"Julian told your grandmother that I would take care of you," he suddenly said.

She hesitated, looking up at him through her tears, her lashes wet and heavy. Yes, he did. She also remembered the General saying that Julian was too nice and loyal... making it seem like Julian was exaggerating.

"I never forgot those kinds of things. I never will, not so long as you work under me. And all I ask in return is that you understand that you are not the only person whose needs must be met... who I must protect. Selfishness is unacceptable, especially when that selfishness puts my people at risk," he said. "Remember that when you decide that there is something you want to do."

With that, he turned around and walked out the door.

Julian lingered in his spot for a moment, and when Thea looked at him, he sighed. "It has only been a matter of months, but Thea, you no longer seem to be the strong, confident girl we hired... the girl who would stand up in front of a panel of higher ups at the Elorian Times and tell them that they had no morals... the girl who sat in the back of a car with Niall Killian and stood her ground even though she thought he was going to kill her."

Her heart began to ache.

Was that what they saw when they first met her?

And did they really think otherwise now?

"I don't know if it's the job itself that's getting to you, or something else... or maybe both, but whatever it is, know that heeding the General's words may help with that as well."

She hesitated, not really knowing what he meant.

"People often don't realize that sometimes the most confident and successful people are the ones who have the ability to trust into the hands of others, not only their ideas, but also their lives."

And with that, he too was gone.

Thea cried for hours, lying in bed, reflecting on how she had let everyone down. The General had trusted her, yes, but so had everyone else. And even if she didn't mean for it to end that way, she nearly got the General and the Captain killed. Because of her, those two could have lost their lives, and the others would have lost someone they truly cared about.

All because she had been selfish.

She tried to remember why it was that she even felt the need to prove that she wasn't a traitor. Who was she trying to convince?

Those strangers in Achlis? Why did she even allow herself to care about them so much?

Or maybe it was Adrien? Because if it was him she was trying to convince, aside from the obvious fact that it was stupid to think about a man who was never here to begin with, she should have also known from day one that no matter what she did, that wouldn't be enough to prove anything to him.

Nothing would be enough to prove anything to any of those people.

It was stupid.

She was stupid.

And she didn't even want to get started on the fact that Vetori had played her like a fiddle.

She was so stupid.

It was nearly three in the morning when she finally sat up and realized she wasn't going to be able to fall asleep. There was no chance. All she really wanted to do was to apologize. To make sure that the General and Julian knew how sorry she was and to make sure they understood that she would do everything she could to make up for this.

But she knew that wasn't possible either.

So, deciding not to wallow in self pity for the whole night, she sat up, washed her face and decided to go for a walk. When she opened the door and walked down the hall, however, she was surprised by the sight of Julian reentering the inn.

Her instinct was to avoid him, despite what she was thinking earlier, to run back to her room and hide, but she knew that would be silly. Besides, he had spotted her before she could even react. "Thea."

"Not... sleeping?" She asked awkwardly, wringing her hands together.

"No," he responded, rubbing the back of his neck. "The General and I needed to discuss the plans for tomorrow and map out our route."

"You need to make sure we avoid the Crows," she said. The Crows that may have been after them because of her stupidity.

"Exactly," he said before letting out a breath. He then looked at her with a gentler expression. "What about you, going for a walk?"

"I can't sleep..."

"Well, Imanay is as safe as towns get, so a walk wouldn't hurt, despite the time."

She nodded, before taking a breath. "I'm sorry–"

"I know," Julian said as he gave her a smile. It seemed that time was enough to allow him to settle down enough to be a little warm again. "I know you are. You made a mistake... what's important is that you learn from it... and don't do it again."

His words were genuine, she knew, he wasn't just saying it to be nice. He meant it, and she couldn't be more grateful for that, knowing she didn't deserve his kindness at all. "Thank you."

He nodded, before reaching out and squeezing her shoulder. "Despite everything, I trust you," he said. "I believe in you. The General does too. We're here trying to help you because of that. We value you and your expertise and we care about you... believe me, if that wasn't the case, then we would have let them take you. The General has made much bigger sacrifices than that, trust me."

Despite her curiosity in regards to what that meant, she nodded, happy nonetheless and still thinking she did not deserve their trust at all. "Thank you."

He smiled. "Alright, I'm going to try and get some sleep... we have a long trip ahead of us tomorrow."

"Okay..." she started. "Oh... and I can drive... too," she said, looking embarrassed but wanting to help in any way she could. "I have my license."

To that, the Captain chuckled. "I appreciate you letting me know." Then, he gave her a nod before walking off. Thea was going to head off as well, but before she turned, Julian spoke up again. "By the way... if you want to speak to the General, he's certainly awake."

She hesitated as Julian turned and looked back at her. "When you leave the inn, turn right. Walk up the hill for a few minutes and you'll see an old house. He'll be there."

"He's not... here? At the inn?"

"I suppose we never mentioned it," Julian started, though looking oddly amused. "Niall lives there."

"Live..." she narrowed her eyes, confused.

"Or maybe it would be better to call it his future retirement home," Julian continued before smiling. "Whatever the case, it's up to you. If you'd like to talk to him, you'll find him there."

"Oh... okay..." she found herself rather perplexed.

Julian continued to smile, almost looking a little amused. "Good night, Thea."