Ari   (Cont.)

Sometime in my middle of the night I felt the weight of his body crawl into my bed and wrap around me. His warmth engulfed me and I felt calm, the pain I had been experiencing all night began to subside deep within my core. He brushed the tears from my face, gently kissing my forehead before I calmed enough to nuzzle into his chest, where I drifted off peacefully.

I opened my eyes and could see that it was still very dark outside and I realized that it hadn't all been a dream, because he was right there beside me. His arms had relaxed their grip sometime during the night, but when he felt me move slightly, he instinctively pulled me closer to him. I kissed him softly on his chest and he opened his sleepy eyes and looked at me, brushing my hair out of my face. 

"Hey," he said, in his signature sleepy tone of voice.

"You stayed with me all night, Dean?"

"I had to, you needed me," he uttered, as he adjusted himself so that he was facing me, looking into my eyes. At that moment, I was super self-conscious about stupid things like morning breath or bad hair, but I wasn't sure I could leave him to address my concerns even if I wanted to. 

"That's not usually your style." I instantly hated myself for saying that, because I could see his brow furrow a tad.

"You mean more to me than any of those other girls, I hope that one day you'll be able to see that." 

"I'm sorry, you're right. I'm really sorry for saying that, it's really hard for me to forget all of that stuff," I apologized.

"No, Ari, I'm sorry." 

I looked into his eyes and asked, "What do you have to be sorry for, Dean?" 

He kissed me softly. "I'm sorry for fucking all those other women and never taking into consideration how you might have felt. I'm also sorry for not telling you sooner how I feel about you."

I placed my hand on his face, his stubble was thicker today, "I don't think you've ever really told me how you feel." I could see the hesitation in his eyes and I didn't want to make him uncomfortable. "It's ok though, you don't have to tell me right now, but thank you." His expression was that of slight shock and he tensed up slightly under my touch.

"Ari, when the time's right, I'll tell you exactly how I feel, but I need to know that when I do, you're going to be there beside me and right now you're at a crossroads. I would never push my feelings onto you in an attempt to sway your decision. I need you to want to be here."

"But, I do want to be here with you!" The tears began to lightly flow down my cheek as he brushed them off. How could he think that I didn't want to be here with him, everything I'd done this last month was to be right here with him. 

"Ari, I need to know that you want to be with me, not just in this moment, but for the thousands of moments that will follow."

It instantly hit me that what he needed was a reassurance that my feelings about dying had changed and I desperately wanted to tell him that they had. However, the truth was that while I had decided to try and fight, there was still a feeling deep in my core that didn't want this life to continue any longer. It was the place deep inside where all my fears lived, the darkest abyss of my soul, the place where the pain came from. It was the place that broke into a million pieces each time someone else touched him.

The tears were welling up again, because I knew that in my heart the love I felt for him was endless. It was the kind of love that hooked on to your soul and no matter how strong you struggled to untangle yourself from it, it sunk deeper inside of you until it took hold. He had such a grip on my heart that wild horses couldn't drag me away, but maybe just maybe, my fear could. 

As I laid wrapped in his arms while he slept, the feeling of his chest rising and falling beneath my head almost hypnotized me. It was a comfortableness that I hadn't felt in a long time, but every single time I felt comfortable, my fear began to sabotage me. I laid there thinking about all my failures and if it wasn't enough, I started to think about my past relationships and the way I felt about them. The things that brought me to other men always seemed superficial and trivial. 

I was only in what I would classify as love, once in my life and it was a feeling that was nothing like the way I felt for this man beneath me. Jason Ramsey, was my high school sweetheart. He wasn't my first kiss, but he was my first everything else. A tall and lanky guy who was two years older than me, with beautiful green eyes, reddish brown hair and freckles. I remember the first time I ever saw him, he was leaning against the brick wall outside of a local stable where I used to visit frequently when I felt able to venture out. I loved to sit and watch the young kids learn to ride those extremely elegant horses. I remembered the first time he smiled at me, tipping his baseball cap before kicking the dirt off the bottom of his work boots.  It was like the instant we met we were meant to be together. 

My dad loved Jason, probably more than I did, if that was even possible at that time. I remember that to this handsome boy who made my heart skip a beat, it didn't matter that I was sick. He never treated me like I needed pity or saving. He just held my hand, rubbing his fingers over my knuckles and kissing me softly. I saw a future with this boy and he saw one with me. I wanted nothing more than to remain in love with him until the day I died, to have a family with him and a future, but in any true damaged girl fashion, I did what I do best and I pushed him away. 

After my dad died, I was so overcome by grief that I pushed him away as hard as I could, even though he fought against it. He loved me so much that he was determined to be there for me, but I pushed and pushed until he couldn't fight for me any longer. I'd always regretted that I lost him, that I didn't fight harder. I regretted that I was afraid to be loved. I had always been afraid to be loved, because I was deathly afraid of destroying someone's life.

I realized as I thought about him, that if I had fought for that childhood love, I wouldn't be here with a love that was beyond my comprehension. I loved this imperfect man beneath me, but I also knew that being with me may in fact destroy his life. I was so afraid to destroy him and for a second, I wondered if I'd made the right choice to be here right now, with him. Maybe he was better off, without me.

..............................

I felt the brush of his lips against my forehead as he left me. I glanced at the clock which read 8:30AM.

"Dean, where are you going?" My words were muffled by the pillow, which I pulled closer to my face. The pillow which smelled like him.

"I'll see you tonight, I have to go back to L.A. for a business meeting, but I'll be back late tonight. Just sleep," he said softly and I could hear the knob of the door as it twisted, then shut lightly. 

In the pit of my stomach an emptiness formed, it was like I felt incomplete all of a sudden, but it wasn't the sort of emptiness that I felt daily. This feeling of incompleteness was new. It was a longing that tore into your heart, tugging at you until the tears were the only relief. I grabbed my headphones off the bedside table and put my earbuds in. Pandora decided to twist the knife a tad and played Florence + The Machine's "Cosmic Love" and I felt that feeling of longing even more than I did a few minutes ago. He wasn't even out of the villa and I missed him with every piece of me.

I couldn't take Pandora's choice is knife turning music, so I tossed my iPod on the bed and ventured out to find sustenance. Venice was already sitting at the table, having ordered room service. Sprawled out in front of her was all of her favorites: eggs, bacon, hash browns, waffles, fresh fruit, juice and of course french press coffee. Every time I saw her eat, I desperately wanted to ask her if she had a tape worm, because there was no way that I could eat like that and still rock the body she had. There was a tray on the other side of the table, but it was covered and for a minute I wondered if she was going to eat for two today.

"Morning," she greeted me, as she looked my way, "I ordered you breakfast. I figured you'd be down soon."  

I walked over to the other side of the table and sat down. Sure enough she had gotten my favorites: Apple Jacks cereal, fresh fruit, and of course my own glass of orange juice. She knew that I had an undying love of two things in this world and they were cereal and gummy worms. 

"They didn't have Coco Puffs and chocolate milk, but I figured that it's cereal, so we should be good. I know how much you love your cereal," she commented and I couldn't help but smile at her, as I shoveled a big spoonful of cereal in my mouth. She laughed at me and went back to shoveling waffles and eggs into hers. 

"So, I guess we have the day free, no boy?" I asked, as I looked over at her between spoonfuls.

"Yeah, I was shocked that he could tear himself away from your bed," She gave me her sassy, give me all the details look while she sipped on her coffee. 

"V, it's not like that... Well, at least it hasn't been yet." I felt a little ashamed at that moment, which was weird, because I'd never felt weird about telling Venise things, especially when those things were boys or hot steamy and not so steamy sex related. She just looked at me a little surprised, but still proceeded to shovel food into her mouth.

"Well, you guys did have that moment in the pool, so I guess I just assumed that you've found a chance to do the deed. So you are saying that he hasn't pirated that booty yet?" 

"We have slept together a couple of times, but that's all it was, sleeping. Actually, he wants to take things slow." The sound of her fork hitting the plate snapped my head up, as I saw the expression of utter shock on her face.

"You've got to be freaking kidding me right? Panty Pirate Andrews is actually trying to be a boyfriend and not a sex machine!"I couldn't help but bust out into uncontrollable laughter at her comment. I had to admit that this whole thing had been a huge shock to me as well.

"Trust me, I'm about as shocked as you are right now. I've had a few moments of stupid, throwing myself at him and him politely denying, but overall it's been pretty amazing." 

For the next hour we sat, enjoying our coffee and I told her everything. I told her about the visit to the tree and the things he said to me as he cupped my face. I told her about the night in the pool, the perfect date, the way he held me when we danced, and I told her about all the stuff he said to me early this morning. Her expression of shock didn't dissipate, but I could sense that there was a happiness beneath it. She asked me a lot of questions about how I felt, some I was able to answer, others I told her I wasn't sure about yet. 

The truth was that I wasn't sure that I wanted to be with Dean Andrews. The parts of me that weren't sure, were the parts which had been brokenhearted by him, each and every time I saw him with another woman. 

...........................

In true Venice fashion, her idea of an amazing day involved spa packages, shopping for new outfits, and of course ogling hot men. So, it was no surprise that while we were getting ready to go to a club and dance, she informed me that she had something more fun in mind. 

"Change of plans, Ars!"

The curling iron in my hand flinched, because she scared the holy crap out of me and I almost gifted myself with a really large cheek burn. That would have been an amazing souvenir to take with me on this trip. 

"Holy crap, V, where's the fire?" I asked, as I looked behind me.

"Sorry, I'm so excited because we're going to have some hooooot fun!" she exclaimed, as she did her little excited chest shimmy in her brand new high waisted, white flare-leg pants that had a big white belt bow. The black and white striped bustier top she was wearing looked fierce on her and she had paired her outfit with a pair of absolutely stunning black stiletto heals that had a crystal encrusted bow on the strap. She would probably shut the club down if she walked into it looking like this, but I guess we weren't going to a club after all. 

Venise picked out the dress I was wearing  and I had to say that she did an amazing job. It was a white open back, sleeveless bodycon mini dress with a deep plunging neckline that I wouldn't normally wear, because it showed way too much boob. However, it was true what they said about Vegas and being daring, so I let her convince me to buy it. I broke out of my trunk of shoes my most extravagant pair. I had been dying to find something to wear with these boots since I splurged on them. They came up mid-calf and were gold stiletto peep toe heels, with intricate crystal embellished flower cut-outs and they laced up with a gorgeous gold ribbon. They looked very Park Avenue escort to Saudi Princes, but they were breathtaking.

Venice took one look at the boots as I walked out of the bedroom and at that moment, I was worried that she was going to hit the floor.

"Damn, Ars. Please remind me to steal those, they're like Princess Diana meets million dollar hooker. I so want those!" For a second, there was a hint of something in her eyes, like she might just murder me in Vegas and hide my body, just to get her hands on these boots. "No wonder you don't own a car, Ars, your money is spent on amazing shoes that you never wear."

"Where are we headed for some hoooooot fun, V?"

With that one question, she said the one sentence that both excited me and terrorized me at the same time, Thunder From Down Under.  The smile on her face was devious and instantly, I wished that Dean was there to rescue me.

We were at the Excalibur Hotel and Casino in no time. I shot Dean a text to tell him where we were incase he got back early. I was careful not to divulge exactly what we are doing, because I knew how Dean could overreact at times and I was afraid to push that button so early into whatever we were. 

Ari: Hey, V dragged me to Excalibur for a show. 

Dean: Ok, I'll be back around 12, meet me at Octane after the show. I miss you terribly.

Ari: Ok, safe flight. Missing you also.

......................

I wasn't sure that words could describe the feeling of sitting for almost two hours watching male strippers with rock hard bodies gyrate on the floor. It was hot for sure, but not really my scene. I think the whole women throwing themselves on men thing, churned my stomach a bit, mostly because I had the pleasure of being front row to that show for a long time. Also, part of me was still embarrassed that I had been one of those women recently. 

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved watching Channing Tatum in all his rock hard sexiness in Magic Mike, but this was different. This was real life and I didn't see a Tatum in the room. At one point, while back by the bar grabbing a drink, my ass was groped rather unwelcomely by a very chiseled Asian stripper who smelled like Cool Water cologne. I knew there was a reason I couldn't stand the smell of Cool Water.

I looked for Venice in the crowd and she was absolutely eating up the whole thing. I headed her way and tapped her on the shoulder. "Hey, I'm going to head over to Octane early. This is a little too much for me."

"Yeah, no problem. I'll see you over there soon!" she shouted over the music, as she threw a few dollars at the stage and went back to cheering for a chiseled guy dressed up like a cowboy on roids. I knew she wasn't upset that I was leaving, our friendship wasn't like that. I also knew that I would get the 411 on the whole rest of the show, once she stopped drooling and found me at the club. 

I headed in the direction of Octane and once inside, I looked around for any sight of Dean. He had told me he would be at the bar around 12PM, but in the rare chance he was early, I knew he wouldn't spoil our fun by texting. I didn't see anyone that resembled him, so I decided to just head towards the bar and wait for him to show.

I was half way there, when I caught a glimpse of what looked like him standing by the far end of bar. The man was wearing fitted jeans and a grey jacket with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, but I could tell by the watch, that it was Dean. I knew this, because I gave him that watch and he never went anywhere without it.

I headed in that direction, but I stopped dead in my tracks when he shifted to the side, to order another glass of whiskey and I saw the absolutely slutty looking blonde with the huge tits, in a skin tight top and jeans lean in closer to him. He looked over at her and faintly smiled, but quickly ordered her a glass of champagne. 

She took it to her lips and provocatively sipped it, her hand placed on his arm. One look at that hand and my heart shattered into a million pieces. How on earth could I have been so absolutely stupid to think that someone like him would want me or love me for that matter? There was a new feeling that surrounded that heartbreak and it was like molten fire. I was so angry, that all I wanted to do was order a drink just so I could throw it glass and all, right into his smug face. Wait, was I seething with jealousy? Yep, I was!

The DJ conveniently played Robyn's "Dancing On My Own" and the anger I felt in my core leached closer to the surface and sat right beneath my skin. The song conveyed exactly the things I was feeling in that moment and it was making the whole situation even worse. Here, standing in front of me was the love of my life and some other bitch had her slutty hands on him. More importantly, he was letting it happen.

I walked over to the bartender and leaned over the bar, in a way that conveniently dipped the plunging neckline of my dress even more, giving him a dose of sexiness in his direction. He was all too eager to run over to help me. I ordered Dean's favorite whiskey, Johnny Walker Blue, before brushing my hand over said bartender's face. 

I walked seductively over to where Dean was standing and the heads that turned as I walked by almost shocked me. I'd never had so many eyes on me before and it almost made my skin feel dirty, but for a minute it was exactly the feeling I wanted to feel. I came to a stop and stood behind him for a second.

I could hear her laughing at his jokes. I could hear his voice, that Dean sexy voice, that he put on when he wanted something. Just as the song came to a climax, I placed my hand on his shoulder, setting the drink down next to him. He turned and looked at me in utter shock, spinning around to face me. His eyes glanced me from my head to my toes, a look of amazement and pure sex swept over his face.

"Ari, you're here. Fuck you look... Wow." His words were calm, but I could also tell he was nervous beyond belief.

"You bet I am... Here have a drink, it's on me," I said, as I ran my hand over his face, his skin becoming hot against my touch. I leaned into him, almost brushing my lips against his, the daggers being stared at me from the set of fake boobs were lethal. "Be sure to fuck her good, Dean, because you deserve it. You were such a good boy for a few weeks. Much longer than we ever expected." 

I gripped my fingers on his chin and pushed his face away from me. The look on my face was pure anger at him.  Afterwards, I spun on my ridiculously sexy heels and I turned to walk away. He grabbed my arm and tried to turn me back towards him.

"Ari, it's not like that. Please believe me, please trust me," he begged, as I looked over my shoulder and his eyes had a hint of sadness to them. I could feel the tears in my eyes forming, as I turned my head away. I had to get out of here, out of this city, out of this moment. I pulled against his grip, which almost hurts.

"I saw everything I needed to see, Dean. You'll never change, because I'm not worth it," I cried. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore and I broke away from his grip and ran for the door.

I slipped past the crowds of people, loosing him. I turned the corner in full blown tears, my heart shattering into a million pieces, when I ran into someone spilling what smelled like an awfully expensive glass of wine all over her amazing looking gold dress.

"Oh my god! I'm... so... sorry," I said in between sobs, as I cried the not so subtle type of crying, but total ugly crying.

"Oh, darling, please. Do not worry about this little thing, I was absolutely bored with this dress anyways," she said in a real thick but elegant southern accent.

She looked at me with a set of amazingly stunning blue eyes, which were further highlighted by the dark eyeliner she was wearing. Her massive blonde curls fell around her shoulders and her face was breathtaking in its nude and peach blush and lip stick.

I choked back the tears at her words, as she placed her perfectly manicured fingers on my bare shoulder. "You were bored with that dress? But... it's stunning and it looks so expensive."

"Well darling, it was." She chuckled, looking into my eyes. "I would hope it was stunning considering it was $5,000.000, but like I said, I was bored with it about an hour after I put it on." The tone of her voice was so casual, like it was no big deal that I'd just ruined a massively expensive dress during my mental breakdown moment. "I'm Sassy and who might you be darling?" Sassy, now that was the exact thing that I would have called this woman in front of me.

"I-I'm Ari."

"Well, Ari, what's a girl as beautiful as you, doing crying outside of a terribly lame nightclub?" she asked, as her fingers brushed my bare shoulder, rather seductively.

"I had a fight with my boyfri... I mean... my friend." Her expression was a little shocked, but soft.

"Oh that's a shame! A girl who looks like you should have men running after her, not you running from them. Please  let me buy you a drink." Yhe tone of her voice was a little bit on the seductive side and for a minute I wondered if she was buttering me up for a trip to Vagina Town.

"Shouldn't I be the one buying you a drink, considering that I just spilled yours?" I inquired, as she began to lead me towards the gambling area, before asking a server for a glass of club soda.

"If you insist, darling, just let me first find my brother, then you can buy me all the drinks you'd like."

She motioned toward one of the high roller tables where she caught the eyes of several guys who locked their gazes onto her. The waitress ran back unusually fast with Sassy's club soda and she began to dab it on the wine spot. When she was done, she motioned to the waiting server, who took the drink and the cloth, then scurried away.

Just as Sassy began to head towards the table a strikingly handsome man in his mid to late thirties threw his cards on the table in a excited manner, before standing up to pull the large pile of chips towards him. His laugh was very large and echoed above all the commotion of the room. It was a laugh with a very distinctive southernness to it. The rest of the men at the table groaned and threw their cards towards the dealer. The man excused himself, having the dealer cash him out before he approached us.

He approached us and the first thing that my eyes fixed on were those gorgeous hazel eyes with specks of amber in them. They then gravitated to his chiseled chin and perfectly symmetrical features. He had short, but somewhat chunky brown hair and facial stubble. Again, if this had been a cartoon moment, I'd be the wolf with the bulging eyes in the back of the room, howling. 

"Sassy, are you picking up beautiful strays now?" His voice was rugged and with each word that left it, my skin tingled a bit.

"Ari darling, please meet my hilariously funny twin brother." Sassy motioned towards him, as my mouth opened a little bit to say hello, until he lightly grabbed my hand in his.

He took my hand and brushed his lips over my knuckles. "Pleased to meet you, beautiful. I'm Jack Parker... But, everyone calls me Ace." I felt a little weak in my knees and if he touched me again I might have passed out right there in the middle of that casino. "You've already met my lovely sister, Sarah, I can see. She does have a knack for picking out the roses in a sea of thorns. It's a shame sometimes that we have the same taste in women." 

I snapped out of the trance that I was in, my gaze fixed to his. His eyebrows rose as he looked at me, causing his forehead lines to pop a tad. I wasn't sure if I had ever seen someone as handsome in my life, well I had, but that person was seriously on my crap list right now. Thinking about Dean just made my heart ache more and I was afraid I was going to cry and embarrass myself in front of my new friends.

"Please, let me buy my now two favorite women a much needed drink." Before I could agree, he took my arm as Sassy wrapped her arm around his free one and we walked towards the front door of the casino and into the night, never looking back. 

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A/N: Hey guys!

Please don't forget to vote and comment!

So I decided to change up things a bit and let you hear from Ari some more. I also felt like it was a great time to throw the twins into the mix. What's your first impression of the twins?

 For me, it will be really interesting with two charismatic  characters in the mix now and I'm anxious to see how Dean deals with another guy who is equally as irresistible as he is.  It will also be interesting to see how he shapes Ari's journey and in what way. I also love Malin Ackerman and I think her personality paired with a southern belle feel will be pretty fun in the future.

Check out my Twitter: @amina_leeds 

<3 Amina