Ari

My heart was beating a million miles a minute as he looked at me, while that song played—our song. I loved Dean with everything that I had in my soul, even the bits deep down in the black abyss that were ugly to look at. I loved him with a type of love that deep down wasn't always the easiest thing to lay your eyes on. I couldn't imagine a life where I wasn't in love with Dean Andrews.

I didn't want a life where that was possible. I didn't one where he wasn't the first thing I saw in the morning and the last when I closed my eyes. I knew that our love wasn't always the easiest thing and I was a firm believer that love shouldn't ever be difficult, but that previous thought was because I was naive to true love. 

True love wasn't easy, because it didn't always go your way.

True love was a constant struggle where you fought within the inner pit of your heart, tugging between common sense and being utterly lost in it.

True love saw no boundaries and because of that, it was rapid and consumed you. If love ever became easy, then it wasn't true.

True love was never lazy. It was like a river with choppy white swells that crashed you around as you clutched your raft and smiled, the sheer excitement of it causing the acrobats in your stomach to flip and twirl.

True love was a raging wildfire that could never be put out with the small buckets of water thrown on it.

True love was like a fighter, clenching his fists and dodging around the ring, desperate to overcome the obstacles. It gripped every piece of you threatening to crumble your world around you, until all that was left was the other person. No one else mattered, nothing else mattered.

Every other touch was but an annoyance, every other word was but faint on your ears;m, because the only touch and voice on your soul was the one that griped your heart.

As I checked my reflection in the mirror, I could feel his hands on me, his breath on my neck, and his words when he spoke of our future. Deciding that I couldn't spend another minute without him, I threw open the doors of the restroom and hurried down the hall towards the banquet room.

I felt a grip on my arm which pulled me back into an alcove of the hallway and spun me around. It was a hand that pulled me in close to his firm chest, into his smell.

I looked up into the face of the hands, hoping that I would see his blue eyes and sculpted jawline eager to pick up where we had left off on the dance floor, but when I looked up it was hazel eyes I was staring at. Hazel eyes and a perfectly symmetrical face, and jawline lined with brown stubble. His brown hair was slightly longer on top, but still choppy and he flashed me a wide white toothed smile, which made his laugh lines prominent on his face.

He was dressed in an expensive traditional tuxedo and his aftershave had hints of cinnamon and other spices. I felt his strong hands come up to cup my face, but I was too much in shock to react. Before I knew what was happening he gently pressed his thin pink lips to mine, taking my bottom lip into his mouth and sucking on it.

My brain and heart were screaming for my body to do something, anything, but I was frozen in place with shock. Why was he doing this to me? I know he said he wasn't done fighting, but he always knew my feelings for Dean and this was wrong. I reached up with my hands and pushed him back from my lips, looking up into his eyes, mine beginning to betray me as they welled up with tears. They filled with tears at what had just happened, as a wave of guilt spread over me because what Ace had just done to me, meant that I had inadvertently cheated on Dean. I had cheated on the love of my life.

My heart clenched within me, like it was in a vice grip. When he opened his mouth and spoke, it clenched even harder. "Arina, darling. I can't be without you. I know what you said in New Orleans, but I'm in love with you." His southern accent was heavy with affection and desire.

Every single word that left his lips was another stab from a knife wielding attacker to my soul. Every single breath he took crushed my heart, because everything he did made me hate myself. I hated myself, because I pitied him for feeling the way he did. We had an amazing connection in the short amount of time we had shared, but in the end, I was always in love with someone else. Had I chosen Ace, he would have just been another man in the short line of men that I tried to love, while I had been secretly in love with Dean.

He would have just been another man that I gave only part of myself to, while my soul belonged under lock and key, reserved for another. It would have been unfair, because Jack "Ace" Parker was amazing; he just wasn't my true love.

I opened my mouth to speak, to tell him how wrong he was, but only sobs came out as the tears spilled down my rosy cheeks. He reached up to rub his hand down my exposed arm, but I cringed slightly at the thought and then I heard a throat clear.

My head snapped over and I saw his ocean blue eyes, which were so angry that they looked like a turbulent sea under the grips of a massive earth shattering storm. I could see his teeth clench and his jaw tighten. I just cried, my body couldn't muster anything else.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing with my girlfriend, Jack?" His voice was guttural and deep, like it was prepared to unleash a flurry of hateful words.

Ace just backed up and away from me and stood facing Dean. "Andrews, somehow I think if Arina knew exactly the kind of man you were, she wouldn't remain your girlfriend long."

Dean stepped forward, ready to close the distance between him and Ace. I stepped in between the two men, not concerned with my safety, mainly because I knew Dean would never risk laying a hand on me. I turned to Dean and cupped his face with my hands, forcing him to take his gaze off Ace and look at me.

"I am so sorry. I didn't want that, none of it."

I turned to Ace who had a look of defeat in his eyes and simply said, "You're an amazing man, but I don't love you, Ace. I'm sorry."

I hung my head and turned to walk away from both men, but I felt Ace reach for my hand, his fingertips brushing over mine as I just walked away from the man who I thought was my friend and the other who I thought was my future.

I ran past Sassy, who stood at the end of the hall with a look of utter shock and horror on her face at what she had witnessed. I ran out of the double doors of the museum and into the cold. The snow had begun to fall and I just snatched my shoes off and ran across the freezing ground, not caring that my feet felt like they were ice underneath me. It was punishment for the hurt that I had caused Dean.

I don't know how long I ran or if I caught a minicab, but I ended up in front of Milly's house. I punched the code into the pad and the front door opened. I ran as fast I could into my room, stripping off the beautiful dress and leaving it on the floor. I quickly pulled on a pair of legging, a comfy sweater and boots, and grabbed my jacket off the chair, along with my small handbag.

This was it, my world was over.

I knew how Dean felt about cheating. He told me he would never look past any sign of infidelity from someone he was monogamous with and that included kissing. He might have been a playboy, but he was a traditionalist. Whether or not I wanted that kiss from Ace, it had happened and now the love of my life would never look at me again, never touch me again. I scrawled on a piece of paper the following words.

My Dearest Dean,

I can't begin to apologize for what happened. I never wanted it, all I've ever wanted was you, but I know how you feel about infidelity, so I will have someone collect my things tomorrow. I am so sorry, I never meant to hurt you.

ya lyublyu tebya. 

Goodbye and Always,

Ari

The tears hit the paper as I clutched it to my chest, sobbing. The paper becoming soaked and slightly torn thelinger I held it. Putting it on the bed was like relinquishing my only child, knowing I'd never see them again. My heart was shattering in a million pieces at that moment. I placed it on the bed in his room, because it was no longer our room.

I grabbed my small packed bag and left Milly's home. I left my future behind as I tried not to look back, the tears streaming down my face, stabbing at the skin like icicles.

This was it. When I got home, I was finished. There was nothing more to live for. 

I was nothing...

..............................

Dean

I just stared at his face, trying to convince myself not to break his jaw. I had a history with Jack Parker and it wasn't exactly a pleasant one. The first time I met Jack, six years ago, was when he walked into his fiancée's hotel room and found her naked in my lap, screaming my name while she clenched the sheets with her delicate fingers.

I was not a good man, but I didn't know she was engaged. Truth was, even if I had, I don't know that it would have stopped me. She was beautiful and I was horny, nothing more. I didn't know that he'd been the man that Ari had left with in Las Vegas. She called him Ace and I had only ever known Jack Parker as Jack. It wasn't until she talked about Sarah that I put two and two together. 

I was very familiar with Sarah because we had spent a lot of time together at events. She was a gorgeous woman and the first time I met her, I tried to pick her up. She simply laughed in my face and told me that unless I was secretly the most butch woman she had ever met, there was no chance. Needless to say, I was instantly in love with her, but in a sisterly way.

We spent a lot of time playing wingman to each other at events and I knew of her twin, but it seemed like there was never the opportunity to meet him until that February night after the Children's Hospital Charity Gala. The night he walked in on me and Jezabelle Ryan, his fiancée of six months and girlfriend of five years. The name was fitting though, because I wasn't the only man she ever gave into, but I was probably the only one that she stalked viciously for eight months after her breakup, trying to get me to give it another shot.

Ari didn't know about Jezabelle, just that I had made a mistake and was keeping a low profile from charity events for a few months.

When I saw Jack place his lips to hers, I felt my heart break, but then I saw that she didn't reciprocate. I was very adamant that I didn't deal with any kind of infidelity from a partner, even kissing, but I saw how upset she was and knew that she never would have touched him in any way, other than pure friendship. I saw her tears as they streamed down her face and I saw the shame in her eyes.

I am so sorry. I didn't want that, none of it.

I knew there was complete honesty in those words, but my body was so filled with rage at Jack that I didn't realize she had stepped away from me and had run down the hall, until I heard Sarah call out to her and heard her sobs. By the time I got to the front doors of the museum, I couldn't see where she went. It was bitterly cold and she didn't have on a jacket, just that perfectly beautiful dress that left little to the imagination.

I ran back into the main hall, frantically searching for my grandmother in the crowd. My hands were in my hair, almost pulling it out. Before I knew it, I saw my father's face by the bar and I was standing in front of him, panic in my voice.

"I don't know what else to do. Something happened and Ari's gone. Please tell Grandmother I needed to leave before the presentation." My voice choked on my words and my father's expression changed from annoyance to sheer concern.

He gestured over to Marcus who was next to him, instructing him to inform Milly of the events and then he turned to me. "Alright son, where would she have gone?"

"What?" I looked at him in confusion.

"Dean, focus. Where could she have gone? Does she know the city?" His voice was calm and for the first time in my life since my mother's death, he was trying to act like a rational but concerned parent.

"No, she's never been to London. So probably the house if anywhere."

"Alright, you head to the house and check. I'll ask around to anyone outside and see if they saw which way she went. If I find out anything I'll ring you. Call me if you need me to check anywhere." My father clasped me on the shoulder and moved towards the exit, in order to question a few men who might have been outside smoking.

"Dean, I'm going with you to the house." Sarah came to stand over by me, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards the exit.

We arrived at the house and the pin code clicked, but didn't register the alarm, so I knew she had at least been there. I ran up the stairs while Sarah checked downstairs, but when I hit our room, my heart sunk. At my feet in a puddle, sat her perfect crimson dress, discarded in a manner which should have been because that was where I took it off of her, but it was there because she had discarded any trace of the night.

Her clothes were all pulled out of the closet and her small overnight bag was missing, along with her toiletries, handbag, and iPod. She was gone, but I could still smell her in our room. I slumped down on the edge of the bed, a piece of paper falling down behind me. I picked it up in my hands and noticed the tear stains and rippling.

She was gone, out of my life. She told me she never meant to hurt me and then in Russian, she professed her love for me one last time before saying goodbye. It wasn't just a standard goodbye like parting lovers, it was her telling me that she was done with everything. If there was no me, there was nothing.

I just put my face to the note, my heart breaking. I had to quickly compose myself, because this wasn't the end. This wasn't the end of my love story—this wasn't the end of our story. I didn't chase women, but I would chase her to the ends of the earth and past, if it meant her being in my life forever.

I looked over at the corner of the room where my carryon bag had fallen off the chair in her hurry, the velvet box had rolled out onto the floor. The box that I had planned on giving her while we were here in London. I had it all planned out and tonight at the charity event I had paid a ridiculous amount of money, silently bidding on the venue where I would ask her to be my wife.

As I sat there defeated on the floor, looking at the velvet box, Sarah appeared in the doorway. "Dean, she's not here. Are you ok?"

"No, I'm not fucking ok, Sarah. The love of my life's somewhere out in this city, a city that she doesn't know. She's out in the snow and not here where she belongs, with me!"

Sarah came into the room, trying to pick things up, in an attempt to keep herself busy. She walked over to my bag which was on the floor, stopping by the velvet box and slowly bending to pick it up.

"Leave it, Sarah," I snapped at her, but she just looked at me with utter sadness in her eyes. I heard the clasp on the box open and a gasp leave her painted lips. I looked over at her and just sighed a sigh of defeat.

"Oh my, Dean. That's your family's ring! I've seen pictures of Milly wearing it. You really love her, don't you, darling? I mean, don't answer that of course you love her, how couldn't you? Ari's amazing. What I meant was that you really have changed and it's because of her. You never would have batted an eye at another guy kissing a gala date of yours and you never would've been sitting on the floor, in an almost $8,000.00 tuxedo worrying over someone. We need to find her."

"You're right, we need to find her." I heard his voice in the doorway and I jumped up, ready to pummel his face in two. That smug face that I hated for driving my girl away from me.

"Get the fuck out of my house, Jack, before I kill you!"

His next words almost drove me over the edge as rage swept over my face.
"You don't realize what you have, do you?"

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A/N: Hey Guys!

Ok, before we go on a let's kill the author spree. I am sorry. I am a horrible person, really I am, there is no excusing it...

Ok, well Ace is back... yeah... and he broke Team Denari up. Will they be able to make it through this or is all hope lost?

<3 Ami