Declan

The asshole who was holding my nose slammed my jaw shut which made the pills that were caught between my teeth break in my mouth. The chalky powder coated my tongue, mixing with the saliva in my mouth. I had no choice but to swallow. He wasn't going to let go until they saw me swallow. The bitter taste from the pills had me wanting to throw up but I held back my inherent want to start dry heaving and tried to keep my features stoic.

I wasn't going to let them know I was fucking panicking.

My heart was thudding in my chest, my anxiety rising. I don't know how many pills he'd made me swallow. He said he'd let Desmond have the honors of killing me but Anatoly was as much a lying piece of shit as Desmond.

When the Russians took over the building they fitted out the building with their own CCTV system but Tommy was a wiz when it came to that shit. Hopefully by now he'd managed to get into the system and was watching all of this. He, Noah and Paul were my safe guard in all of this which was a huge gamble. If they were caught or Tommy wasn't able to figure it out, I'm fucked.

"Before you don't feel anything." Anatoly leered.

His closed fist barreled against my cheek making my head snap in the direction the blow. My teeth cut against the inside of my cheek making blood pool in my mouth and mix with the rest of the chalky residue. I could feel that his gaudy rings had cut the skin on my face as well. The blunt force made my migraine intensify to the point that I thought he had his hands inside my skull, twisting my grey matter between his fingers.

I couldn't help the pained sound that came from me. Fuck, did that hurt. I gathered the blood and saliva in my mouth and spit it onto his custom dress shoes.

"Then why don't you shut the fuck up and hit me?" I goaded. This earned another blow to my face. The world went silent around me while the intense pain came over me. My head felt like it was swimming and I could feel my stomach lurch, bile rising up in the back of my throat threatening to spew.

I slumped back against the couch, my body finally succumbing to all of the abuse I'd endured over the last few hours.

I could hear Scars muffled screaming over the intense ringing in my ears. "Stop, please!"

"Take them away." He spit on my face for added effect.

A warm, prickling feeling sparked on my skin at the base of my neck. The sensation quickly started to travel up my neck and spread across my scalp, feeling like fingernails scratching at my skin.

The need to sleep came on fast. My eyes shut and almost instantly I felt like I was drifting off.

The guards who were at my sides hauled me up off of the leather sofa, jolting me awake. I was already unsteady on my feet from how dizzy I am but one of these assholes kicked my feet out from under me. I dropped onto my knees and hissed at the pain from falling onto the hardwood floor. They hooked their arms under mine and started to drag me towards the door.

I kept telling myself that I had to stay awake. I had to know where they were taking her. But my head kept lulling forward and my eyes closing. The voice in my head telling me to go to sleep. To sleep off the pain.

"Declan!" She screamed from somewhere behind me. "Where are you taking him?!"

"Suh... Scars?" My voice was barely audible. Shit. I can't fall asleep. I have to stay awake.

"Don't worry, lisichka. You're going with him." Anatoly answered.

More muffled screams followed.

Everything went by in a blur of colors and muffled sounds. I kept drifting in and out of consciousness. It didn't even feel like I was being dragged anymore. Instead I felt like I was floating. Floating through some weird dream until all the darkness that surrounded me was ripped away and I was thrust into a blinding light. I felt their hands move out from under my arms and for a moment it felt like I was thrown up into the air. Like in a dream when you jump but end up sailing uncontrollably into the air. The moment I opened my eyes I saw myself careening towards a tiled floor.

I let out a pained groan when my shoulder hit against the ground followed by the side of my head. I coughed, struggling to breathe from having the wind knocked from my lungs from the impact. I spit out more blood onto the cracked tiles then rolled onto my back, trying to fill my lungs.

The guards laughed from somewhere behind me as they spoke in Russian. Struggling to open my eyes from the light, I tried to look around to see where we were. Even in the haze I was in I recognized this as the interrogation room I set up in the basement of The Atlantic. The walls were a stark white color made even more bright by the offensively bright halogen lights above.

There was a set of security cameras in the corner of the room and I was fucking praying that Tommy had hacked it. That they were already on their way now that we were away from Anatoly and all of his security.

One of the Russians came in and knelt down beside me. He took a knife from his pocket and cut the zip ties that were around my wrists, making sure to cut my arm as he did. I laid there on the floor, unmoving. I wasn't sure how much more of a beating I could take at this point.

A slow wave of warmth cascaded from the top of my head down my body. As it washed over me, I could feel the pains in my body from Desmond and Anatoly's abuse ebbing. The few fingers Desmond had broke went from throbbing to a dull tingling. My face was no longer on fire and the pain in my shoulder from just a moment ago was already gone.

The pills were starting to take effect.

I could hear rushed footsteps out in the hall followed by muffled yelling. Rolling my head to the side so I could get a better look at the door now that my eyes had adjusted to the lights I saw Alex and another one of Anatoly's dogs push Scarlett into the room.

She stumbled forward in the heals she was wearing and fell on her hands and knees next to me. She let out a quiet sob before turning sharply towards Alex, her hair whipping around and sticking to the tears on her cheeks.

"When I get out of here, I'm going to kill you." She sneered at Alex, breathing out of flared nostrils.

I pushed myself up so I was sitting, preparing for Alex to retaliate.

Alex scoffed. "You should get used to that, being on your knees. You'll be on them until they decide to kill you."

Alex slammed the door behind him. In an instant I felt her fling herself into my chest, nearly knocking me over and wrapping her arms around my neck. Inhaling sharply through my nostrils from the pain that still lingered, I pulled her closer, resting my cheek against the top of her head.

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed. "I-I thought if I gave him the thumbdrive it would end everything."

I'd put two and two together the moment I saw her giving over the flash drive earlier. She thought she could save us all by giving Anatoly the files. Without knowing if Tommy had gotten into the security for the building I couldn't even tell her that the drive she gave Anatoly was empty. I couldn't risk them finding out before I knew help was on the way.

"It's okay." I replied, pulling her away from my chest. I cupped her face, using my thumbs to wipe away her tears. "It's going to be okay, we're going to get out of this."

She shook her head in my hands, her breath hitching. "No, it's not okay. They left Ben bleeding out and-"

"Ben's fine." I said, trying to keep my voice calm despite the strange feeling of excitement. My body was numb now. All of the pain from earlier completely gone and now the euphoric rush was starting to take over.

"They're going to kill you! Anatoly, he forced all those pills in your mouth. Jesus, you could be overdosing!" She grabbed the front of my hoodie in her hands and pulled me closer.

I bit my lip trying to stop myself from smiling. The euphoric rush from Z hits right before the hallucinations start. I have to be quick about this, I don't know how much time I have.

"Scars, I don't know how much longer I have." Her eyes widened, fresh tears pooling along her lashes.

"Then Declan before it's too late I have to tell you-" He put his finger over my lips.

"I need you to listen to me. You're going to be okay." My eyes traveled to the corner of the room where I saw a flash of grey. My brows pulled together for a brief second before I shook it off.

"I never meant for any of this shit to happen." Another flash of grey sparked in the corner of the room, darker this time and then gone just as soon as it appeared.

Her blue eyes follow my line of vision to the corner of the room. She looks back at me for a second, confusion on her face then turns back to the corner. "What are you looking at?"

"Nothing," I answer. It was back but it wasn't a shadow this time in the corner of the room. It was a tall figure dressed in clothes similar to mine. Shaking my head, I focus back on her. The hallucinations are starting, this might be the last time I see her.

The tiny black dress that barely covered her showed off every single contusion on her skin. The chain that was around her neck earlier left her skin raw, cut and bruised. The dark make-up they had around her eyes was trailing down her cheeks leaving streaks of grey. Her red lips turned down in a pout. All of this because of me. If I wasn't so fucking numb I'm sure my heart was twisting inside my chest. Maybe it's best I couldn't feel anything.

"Please," She begs.

"Everything is going to be okay." I repeat, not letting her speak.

My thoughts drifted from Scarlett who was shaking me, trying to keep my attention while she spoke desperate words, to the one standing there. Watching. Squinting my eyes, I tried to make my eyes focus. For a second, it looked like me standing there staring at me holding Scarlett.

My head turned to the side, confused. Scar's hands grabbed my face and moved my head so I was directly in front of her but my eyes stayed on the man behind her.

He took a step closer, his features coming in sharper now. He looked like an older version of me. His hair a darker brown, almost black with streaks of grey around his ears. His features were almost identical to mine, down to the same stoic look that I wear.

"Declan, I..." Scars' words go in and out. Her voice distorted, like hearing someone trying to speak underwater.

He takes another step closer to us and I notice bruising on his face. His cheeks becoming more gaunt. I pull Scarlett closer to me. I hear her yelp when I tighten my arms around her. I don't know who the fuck this guy is but I won't let him hurt her.

"Liam?" I hear my mother's voice behind me making me seize up.

My eyes widen. How the fuck did they find her? Did Desmond have his men capture her? Craning my neck to look behind me, I can see a younger image of my mother. She looks like she's trying to hold back her tears. I knew that look all too well from my childhood. The way she was holding onto the tiny gold cross she always wore around her neck and the slight tremble of her chin.

"Liam, is that you?" Mom asks. Letting go of Scars, I turn to look back at who she was speaking to. Realization hit me in the gut. He's my father.

The white walls around me melt away until I can see the stained floral wallpaper of my childhood home. I'm hiding in the cabinet in the kitchen again. The door cracked open so I can hear what my parents are talking about.

They had a fight a month ago and I haven't seen my father since. I remember hearing my mom screaming at him followed by hysterics. Dad's hardly been around the last few months and every time I catch a glimpse of him I can't help but notice all of the new bruises and cuts all over his face.

"He's after me Shelly. He knows I'm gone." Dad's voice sounds on edge.

"Then we need to leave." Mom answers.

Dad shakes his head. "No, just me. It'll only make things worse if we all disappear."

"How much worse can things be, Liam?" I can tell mom is struggling to stay calm. She says something else but her voice is muffled and I can't make it out. Her hand points to the cupboard I'm hiding in and I feel my stomach drop.

Dad locks eyes with me between the crack in the door and I shrink back from the opening.

"I have to leave before he finds me here." My dad flinched when there was a tap at the window. It sounded like a pebble being thrown at the glass. The natural light in the kitchen was getting darker, like it used to when the sun was setting.

"I have to leave." He repeated.

"Liam, no. Not without us."

Another tapping sound comes from the window.

"Shelly, promise me you'll keep him safe." Dad's voice hitches.

She's quiet, her lips parting like she is going to say something then closes.

"Promise me that he will never find him!" He booms making me cower in my hiding spot. My mom flinches back from him, her hand covering her open mouth.

Promise who won't find me? I started to feel anxious.

Another tap at the window. This one making me flinch, too.

I could see sweat break out on my dad's brow, his hands starting to tremble.

"Shelly, I have to leave. He's found me."

I could feel my own dark sense of dread start to crawl up my spine. I was feeling anxious, like something was coming but I didn't know what. The light outside the kitchen windows growing darker still. My dad is starting to twitch, jumping at the now constant tapping on the window.

My mother says something, moving around the kitchen table towards my dad but I can't make it out.

"He's here." Dad's voice in panicked now.

The air in the room is tense. My own heart is hammering inside my chest. Who's here? Who's after my dad?

The kitchen door is kicked open, slamming against the wall. The drywall crumbling and the wallpaper ripping from the force of the door hitting it. A tall, looming figure is standing in the doorway. It remains there, silent and unmoving.

Fear coils around my chest making it hard to breathe. Why are they standing there? Why aren't they running? I call out to my parents but my voice is silent. I try to raise my arms to push open the cupboard door but my arms feel sluggish, like I've got hands tugging back on my sleeves.

My dad is visibly shaking now. His face pale and his eyes wide. My mother is clutching her cross so tightly that her knuckles are turning white.

"Byrne," The voice draws out my family's last name. It's deep and gravely but something in me finds it familiar, like I've heard it before.

The figure moves over the threshold and into the kitchen. The moment it passes under the doorframe the shadows surrounding it vanish revealing Desmond. Only he's different. Something about him is off. My stomach slowly twists and I can feel my palms become sweaty.

"I've come to collect." Desmond says. His mouth is slowly curling up the sides of his face, a smile of pure malevolence.

Before my dad is able to respond, Desmond pulls a gun from somewhere on his person. A flash of light and the deafening sound of the gun shot fills the room, my dad dropping to the floor clutching his knee.

I fight hard to raise my arms despite the heavy feeling in them. I need to get to my mother before Desmond does anything to her.

Mom is standing there, silent, watching her husband on the floor while he writhes in pain. Her eyes meet mine for a moment and then back to Desmond.

"I'm impressed, Liam. I really am. No one's ever gotten away from me." Desmond's Belfast accent is thicker than usual. I notice my dad's blood start to pool around him turning the white tiles crimson.

Another shot's fired, the round hitting his other knee. Dad's piercing cries and twisted expression on his face illustrate his agony.

I watch, helpless behind the cabinet door. My eyes are locked on my mom, silently begging her to do something... anything to help dad. A glint caught my attention. There resting on top of the cutting board was the kitchen knife Mom was using to cut carrots. It was no more than a foot from her.

Why won't she pick it up?

I can feel the rage inside me starting to build as I sit here. Helpless.

Dad's head tips back so he's looking at me. I can see the tears in his eyes from the pain threatening to spill. His face is pale making the dark circles under his eyes even more apparent.

Why the fuck isn't she doing anything to stop Desmond?

"Save him!" I try to scream but not a sound is produced, I can't speak.

I try to move but whatever invisible force that's holding me tugs me back, holding me in place. I scream for my mother to do something but I feel a hand curl around my vocal cords, snuffing out my scream. I grab at my throat, trying to pry the fingers from my throat but nothing is there.

Mom's eyes are fixed on me, her face expressionless. Dad's blood is trailing towards her feet. Why isn't she helping him? I repeat in my head like some sick mantra.

"What's t'is?" Desmond asks, looking between my parents. He follows their line of sight until he finds me.

Desmond stalks forward towards my dad. I feel the air being ripped out of my lungs. He's found me. I freeze, not knowing if I should run or stay still. The moment he's next to my dad I can hear him pull back the hammer of his revolver. The metallic click is all I can hear, every other noise has faded to tense silence.

"No!" Whatever was holding me back finally lets go and I tumble out of the cabinet into my father's spilled blood. The viscous liquid burning my skin.

Desmond is smiling down at me, watching while I bring my hands up to look at my father's blood coating them. "What do we have here, Liam?"

Desmond's laugh is inhumanly loud before he pulls the trigger for a third time. The bullet rips through my dad's head, his blood spraying across my face. I'm stuck for what feels like hours staring at my dad's lifeless form until I hear muffled crying making me blink.

She did nothing. She did nothing to fucking stop this.

My hands curl into tight fists. It feels like my hands are about to snap from the tension.

Looking down at his leather shoes, Desmond notices the blood that's splattered on them. His lip curls up in annoyance.

"Funny you see me here Deco, am I to be takin' it that you blame me?" He laughs. "Boyo it's not really me your mad at, is it..." he smiles slowing diverting his gaze to mom.

"She let this happen, now didn't she?" his voice says from over my shoulder, as if he's right by my ear. "She let it happen."

I get to my feet and run towards my mother who's standing at the kitchen table, her hand still clutching her cross. The rage that was building inside of me is about to go nuclear.

I grab a hold of her shoulders and shake her violently. "Why didn't you save him?"

Desmond leans against the kitchen counter, his arms crossed over his chest as he watches. His dark, looming figure begins to dematerialize into vapor.

My lungs feel tight in my chest and I'm struggling to take a full breath but I don't care. I crane my neck over my mother to make her shrink under me.

"You were right there, why the fuck didn't you save him?!"

Her pained screams sear into my brain. I'm shaking her so violently that I can hear her neck and spine cracking. She's clawing at me to stop which only pushes me further over the edge. My fingers wrap around her delicate neck and I squeeze. Her screams turning to choking gurgles.

"Declan!"

Scarlett? Crippling panic consumes me.

No. She can't be here.

I pull back, loosening my hands thinking I'm hurting her.

"Please, it's me!" Her voice sounds so far away.

Everything around me fades to black. For a moment, the anger is gone. The fear is gone. I'm floating in darkness.

I hear her voice again, but this time it's unclear.

Where am I?

My mother stood there and did nothing. She watched Desmond murder my father while she stood there.

"Declan, it's me." Scarlett's voice is pained.

Where did Desmond go?

"Your little one." Her voice trembles. She's crying. "I used to hate when you called me that but God, I miss it so much."

That looming feeling is back. Like someone is behind me in the dark, watching me.

"I'd do anything to hear you say it again."

I feel small arms wrap around my ribs in the darkness. My hands move to feel what's around me. It's her. For a moment, I let out a relieved sigh and pull her closer. My fingers tangle in her hair and pull her closer.

Desmond hasn't found her.

"You have to fight this, Declan. Please... I love you."

I burry my head in her hair and breathe her in but my moment of peace is instantly shattered. This isn't her. The smell of her hair is vile, repulsive. It's not her smell. Is... is this a trick?

I push her back from me and hold her at arms length. In the darkness I can just make out my mother's face staring back at me. The rage from before ignites and in one explosive movement, I grab a hold of her throat and push her back until I feel her hit against a wall. The moment she hits the wall it's like the lights are turned back on and I'm back in my kitchen.

My mother's eyes are wide with terror. Her nails are clawing into the skin of my hands, drawing blood but I feel nothing. Nothing except anger towards her for the life she refused to save and this urge to end her goddamn life for letting Desmond kill dad.

She's kicking and thrashing under me but this only makes me put more of my weight in to it. Her tiny body feels so frail under me. My hands are cramping from how tightly I'm holding her. My chest is heaving as I pant through gritted teeth. My breaths are fanning across her face, making her now sweaty hair blow out of her face.

"Kill her," Desmond's disembodied voice urges in my ear.

"You did nothing!" I growl. My jaw is clenched so hard I swear I can feel my teeth cracking. My own sweat starts to drip from my brow.

"You let him die!" A maniacal laugh rips from my lungs as I watch her turning blue. Her struggles weakening.

"Now it's your turn, you dumb cunt and no one's going to fucking save you either."

Just as she starts to slump, her hands falling from mine, succumbing to the lack of oxygen, I'm violently ripped away from her.

No.

I'm punched in the gut, my body doubling over yet I don't feel a single goddamn thing. Looking back up at my mother, I see a faceless form hovering over her. Helping her.

No!

Another blow to my stomach stops me from struggling enough for them to tie my hands together in front of me.

"Declan," Scarlett coughs out, her voice sounds strained and weak.

Why the fuck do I keep hearing her? She's not here!

I fight against the shadow figures who are taking me from the kitchen into a dark hallway. One of them gets close enough that I'm able to sink my teeth into their bare arm. They scream while I tear the flesh from their arm. Screams echo from all around me. I can feel the skin dangling from my teeth, their blood dripping down my chin to my neck.

I have to get back there and kill her. The useless fucking cunt I once called a mother.

Something solid connects with the back of my head. Despite not feeling any pain from it, it renders me motionless. I'm conscious enough that I can hear things around me but I'm back in the dark and now I can't move.

I hear heavy doors opening and then I'm thrown onto cold, wet concrete. A boot collides with my ribs, kicking the air out from lungs making me cough up blood.

More muffled voices shout around me.

My mouth feels like it's welling up with liquid. I try to open my mouth to let whatever it is spill out but it only seems to get worse. I feel like I'm drowning. I can barely take in a full breath and my heart feels like it's slowing, struggling to beat inside my chest. I can hear my pulse slowing in my ears.

Opening my mouth wider, I'm desperate for air but no matter how hard I try I get none.

Then darkness. Silence.

A sharp, burning sensation fills my nose. I can feel the burning liquid run down the back of my throat from my nose making me gag and paw at whatever is shoved up my nose. In an instant, all of the fucking pain rushes back. It takes my breath away. The headache, my broken fingers, the beatings I took from Desmond and Anatoly.

I scream out in pain, curling in on myself. My ribs are in absolute agony. I think they're broken. The pain is spilling over me in waves making me shake and my eyes tear up. My surroundings are coming in and out of focus now. I'm in an alley, dumpsters and the trash surrounding them on either side of me. A shadowed figure is craned above me.

Desmond.

Blind fucking rage consumes me.

Next to me on the ground is a bent piece of rebar. I grab a hold of it with both hands, the ties around my wrists biting at me and push myself to my feet. The world is spinning under my feet making me sway. He isn't fast enough to get to his feet. I kick his chest making him fall on his back against the ground.

I stumble on my feet from all of the fucking agony I'm in. All of the pain I'm feeling because of him. Bringing the rebar up above my head I let out another pained scream and bring it down on his head.

His skull cracks from the blow, his body slumping onto the ground as he twitches. He's practically dead already but I'm not finished with him. I pull the rebar from his head with a loud squelching sound.

I bring it above my head once more and continue my assault. Once. Twice. Three times. I keep going, feeling his blood and grey matter splattering against my face. It gets in my eyes and the intense burning has me twisting up my face but it doesn't stop me. I keep on pummeling his body until the excruciating pain makes my body seize up and I fall to the ground in a heap next to the dead body.

I'm panting, finally able to fill my lungs.

Wiping my hands over my face to clear the blood and sweat, my head turns over. I'm excited to see my handiwork. To see Desmond's mutilated face looking back at me. I can't help the crazed laugh that echos off of the brick walls of the alley.

To my fucking horror, when I see the face that's looking back at me, I want to throw up.

It can't be. No. It... it was Desmond. I killed Desmond.

But I didn't.

A portion of Paul's face, the only bit that was left after my assault, was looking back at me.

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Thoughts?