Climbing down the steps, I had my hand clutched tight around the railing. I hate heights and these stairs are made from metal grating making it so I was able to see through the steps to the ground below, making my legs feel like rubber. Once on the ground level, I pried my hand from its death grip on the railing and head towards the boys where I'm greeted by the smell of fresh ground coffee. My mouth starts watering from the heavenly smell. I haven't had coffee in months, they didn't want to give me 'stimulants' during my stay at Portland Asylum.

Ben and Paul stood around the foldable table that held the electric griddle and coffee machine while Noah was over on the couch, his thumbs hammering against the screen of his phone. Whatever he was doing on his phone seemed like it had him agitated, his brows were pinched together and his lips curled down to the side.

"Mugs?" I asked, coming over to Ben and Paul.

Ben looked up from fiddling with the coffee machine and smiled once he saw me. "Over there," he pointed with his elbow to another table against the wall that had some plates, cups and silverware stacked on it. "Morning!"

I smiled, remembering their call signs from last night. "Morning Crash," I answered then looked to Paul who was placing thick cut strips of bacon down on the electric griddle. "Cherub."

Ben laughed out as soon as he heard me say it. "You mean Stupid Cherub."

"Uh-uh!" Noah called from over on the couch, looking up from his phone. "It's The Stupid Fucking Cherub."

"Keep it up and I'm spitting on your food." Paul said, annoyed at the three of us for laughing.

Grabbing a chipped mug from the table, I walked back to Ben and waited for the coffee to fill the pot with just enough of that precious, caffeinated liquid gold for me to fill my mug with. My face must have been pretty dramatic because Ben chuckled when he turned and saw me staring at the coffee maker.

"Coffee addict?"

"Yes, and I've been going through withdrawals for months!" I teased, scratching at my neck.

"Well you got at least another five minutes this machine is slow as fuck." Paul said from behind me. A loud sizzle came from his direction which made me turn and look at him. He'd just cracked an egg and let it land on the griddle, instantly cooking in the bacon grease. My stomach groaned loudly at the sight of the food, actual food, being cooked in front of me.

"Mind if I bum one?" I asked, point to the cig that was hanging between Paul's lips.

"Yea, pack's over there." He said using his chin to point at the pack next to him on the table. I slid around him and took one from the pack and used his lighter to light it.

Breathing in the burning smoke, I let my eyes close. I held it in my lungs, feeling my heart beat harder and harder the longer I held in the toxic smoke and then finally released. The cloud of smoke lifted into the air, tangling together with the smoke from the cooking food. I could feel myself get light headed from not being used to smoking so I leaned against the table while Paul continued to cook, flipping the bacon and removing the already cooked eggs and placing them on the four plates.

Four? I scrunched my brows. There should be five. I looked around the space trying to find Nux. My jovial mood was squashed when I couldn't find him.

"Where is he?" I asked, my voice quiet.

"Hm?" Paul hummed, cursing when the bacon grease popped, sending little spirts of burning grease to land on the back of his hand. "Shit!"

"Declan." I clarified, starting to feel like I was curling in on myself.

"He took Nux for a walk. He's patrolling." Ben answered, handing me my cup of coffee then pouring himself one.

"Thanks." I said quietly, taking a sip. "Patrolling?"

"He didn't tell you? They're all after us." Paul said.

The air between us changed, I watched their faces turn solemn. Ben was visibly the most upset, his lips trembled slightly, turning down into a frown before he walked over to one of the couches.

Paul leaned over so I could hear as he spoke softly while he finished fixing our plates. "They killed most of our families, blew up the apartment building we lived in. Ben's younger sister was the only one from his family to survive, she was out picking up dinner for her and their parents. My mom, step dad and two older brothers died."

He shook his head like he was trying to shake the memories from his head. The whites of his eyes started to turn a light red color and I could see the tears pooling. He quickly blinked them away and cleared his throat.

"Paul..." My heart was hurting seeing him and Ben react to talking about it. "I'm so... so sorry."

"Desmond knows that we know what he's doing, teaming up with the Bratva. He has the whole family after us. Ben can't even get to his sister to keep her safe and Noah, well his brother was arrested by Desmond's guys. Noah has been slowly losing his shit." He continued.

"So Declan's out there, what just running around the woods by himself?" I remember last night he said he had this place on lockdown so why the hell is he out there walking around alone? I could feel myself getting angry at him for putting his life out on the line. He could be killed or they could take him, torture him.

I take a drag from the cigarette that's still between my fingers, flicking the ash onto the ground. Blinking away my tears, I try to keep myself composed. Angry because he's out there and could get killed which means I'd never see him again. Shit, Scars, you've got it bad, I thought bitterly.

I hated myself for this, for having feelings for him. It was all a lie. From the very beginning, he used me. He probably had this all planed, have me fall for him so I would give him everything he needed. He made me kill him that night. And here I am, on the verge of tears because he could get hurt or killed. I sighed, annoyed with myself.

Shaking my head, I take another drag. "How long have you guys been here?"

Paul shrugged his shoulder while he grabbed some plastic forks from a solo cup and placed one on each plate. "Here? Two days. On the run? A few months. Maybe three?"

"Three months, two weeks and five days." Noah answered, throwing his phone onto the makeshift table which was a piece of rotting plywood on top of two old tires in front of the couch he was on. He swiped his hands through his hair a few times then stood. "109 days."

He looked over to Paul and I, his face a slight shade of red from the anger boiling under his skin. "One hundred and nine days on the fucking run, sitting around with our dicks in our hands while they're out there torturing my brother." He turned to Ben, "Who the fuck knows if they found your sister, Lydia and-" He stopped himself before he could say anything else. His top lip twitched up in a snarl, his fingers flexing at his side before he curled them into tight fists.

"We need to make a goddamn plan or something. We can't just keep hiding out like a bunch of pussies while they kill the rest of our families." Noah hissed.

"Let's hear your fucking contribution, then." Declan's out of breath voice had us all snapping our heads in his direction. Slamming the metal door of the factory shut behind him, he hooked his thumb under the hem of his balaclava and pulled it up so it was resting on the top of his head. His skin was coated in a layer of sweat, the tips of his hair that were sticking out under the balaclava were drenched.

"By all means, Noah, if you've got some genius fucking idea of how the four of us are going to single handedly take down Desmond, his army and the Bratva, please tell us." Declan snapped, unclipping the lead from Nux's collar. Nux ran over to me, putting his full weight against my legs and started to turn in circles until I put my hand out to scratch behind his ears.

Noah stayed silent but didn't back down, he kept his eyes locked with Declan's.

"That's what I thought." He retorted, starting to take off his kevlar vest. "I know this sucks but we can't rush into this."

"Rush into this?" Noah parroted, his tone dripping in sarcasm. "It's been over three months!"

"I'm not sure if you know this, but it's only the four of us, kiddo. Did you really expect us to take down two well established crime families in one night?" Declan quipped.

"So we're just going to keep killing their dealers? Wait and see how many of 'em we gotta merk before they grow a heart and stop dealing Z, kidnapping people?" Noah crossed this arms over his chest that was rising and falling with every ragged breath he took in.

Declan had had enough. He pulled off his hoodie, leaving him in a fitted black t-shirt that was wet from his sweat. "You think your tough?" Declan closed the space between them with a few long strides and got in Noah's face.

I could feel my adrenaline spike from the charge in the air. My palms became sweaty and I felt myself start to shake seeing the two of them become confrontational.

Noah straightened his spine so that he was eye to eye with Declan, their chests almost hitting off each others in some sort of primal stand off. Paul quickly leaped over the table and threw himself between to the two of them. He put his hands on Noah's shoulders and leaned into him to push him away from Declan while Ben got in front of Declan, talking to him in a hushed tone.

"Fuck you!" Noah yelled pointing his finger at Declan, trying to push Paul out of his way.

"Keep talking, boy." Declan spat back.

This ignited Noah's fuse. Paul grabbed his waist and tried desperately to hold Noah back even as Noah started to punch Paul's back to try and get his grip to slip. Ben saw what was happening behind him and rushed to help Paul. Ben grabbed Noah's arms from behind and put his arms in a lock by lacing his fingers behind Noah's head.

I watched as Declan stood there, his eyes dark as his nostrils flared while he watched Ben and Paul try and subdue Noah.

When Noah had finally calmed down, the two of them let him go but stayed close in case he was planning on charging Declan again. Noah kept his gaze down and shook his head, giving up. Declan placed a cigarette between his lips and lit it. He brought it in front of his face, looking at the glowing cherry at the tip while he blew out the smoke.

"We're laying low the next couple of days." Declan said, not looking at the three of them.

Paul and Ben looked between themselves. "But won't that give them the opportunity to regroup and come up with a counter-offense?" Ben questioned.

Declan shook his head slowly. "No. We've shaken them up enough for now. They've both been attacked and right now they're trying to figure out who's doing this. We're going to let them fester."

"What about my brother?" Noah asked, his voice sounding hoarse.

Declan sighed. I could see the look of hurt on his face even though he was trying to hide it. "I'm sorry Noah but he's too heavily guarded. They know you'll eventually crack and try and go after him."

"And if they kill him while we wait?! And what about Ben's sister, Lydia?"

I looked to Ben and saw the drop in his expression at the mention of his sister. Wiping his hand down his face, Declan stayed silent for a moment before he finally answered.

"I don't have an answer for that right now." Declan's voice was low, defeated. I watch his visible discomfort, his shoulders fall and him shift on his feet. I really did feel bad for him. Through all of this, he is trying to help them, keep them alive, keep their remaining families alive, bring down two crime syndicates all while doing it almost completely by himself.

"Right. So we have to risk our lives to save your girlfriend but fuck our families. That's a great double standard, you've got there, Boss." Noah pushed past Ben and Paul, knocking them off their balance making them both have to step back from him.

His words stung me, instantly making me feel guilty. He was right, Declan made them risk their lives to save me but is holding them back from saving their own siblings. I could feel my cheeks burn a shade of red from the unworthy feeling that was taking hold.

"Noah, where are you going?" Declan asked but didn't do anything to stop him from grabbing his riding jacket, helmet and phone.

Noah remained silent, shoving his arms in the sleeves of his jacket while he stomped towards the door.

"Noah!" Declan's voice boomed through the building, echoing off the bare walls.

"Don't worry, your majesty, I'm not going anywhere near my brother." Noah snapped before he left us all in silence.

Declan looked back at Paul and Ben who were both shocked at Noah's outburst and sudden departure. It looked like Declan was trying to desperately find the words to say to them both but there was nothing he could say. Noah was right.

Whatever factory this was back in it's day I imagine must have been in charge of some pretty nasty chemicals because at the other end of the factory there was a locker room with a large tiled shower with about fifteen shower heads along the wall. My morbid thoughts instantly started to visualize a Chernobyl type scenario, that the factory was producing some type of radioactive chemical and one day there was a workplace accident, causing said chemical to become airborne or spill onto the ground, contaminating the workers.

Pushing the gory visuals my mind created from my thoughts, I turned the faucet to one of the shower heads and stood under the Lukewarm water. It was such a relieving feeling to finally be able to take a shower without having eyes on me. At the asylum there was no privacy, I was constantly monitored.

I grabbed the bottle of two in one men's shampoo and conditioner and worked it through my hair while I watched the water leak from where the shower head was screwed to the pipe that was coming from the wall. The drops of water raced down the grout of the tile on the wall and pooled with the rest of the water at my feet.

Not only did I need a shower but I needed to get away from them. Noah's words were on repeat in my head and they only got louder whenever I locked eyes with Ben or Paul. I mean, Paul's whole family was killed. Ben's sister is out there, God knows where, it must be eating him alive and then Noah and his brother. And here I am, the only one deemed worthy enough to be saved according to Declan.

I didn't ask for this, to be saved while the others are left for dead but I couldn't help but feel shame or like they thought I think I'm better than their loved ones.

Finishing with my shower, I grabbed for the tattered blanket that Paul said I could use for a towel and dried off. I wrapped my hair up in the blanket as best I could and put on the clothes I'd grabbed from the trunk in Declan's room. Another thing that added to my feelings of shame and embarrassment. Declan has been toting around a trunk full of my clothes yet the boys were told to essential forget their families.

I groaned, pulling up my flared leggings and fixing my oversized shirt. I hated feeling like this.

The sun had already set and Noah still hadn't come back leaving us in an uneasy tension. It was Paul's turn to go out on patrol but he left Nux back with us. Ben was over at the monitors, his attention fully on the screens in front of him. Declan was on one of the couches, fully engulfed in his tablet. Neither of them noticed me enter the space or when Nux ran towards me, his tail knocking against everything he passed as it wagged.

I couldn't help but chuckle at him and how dopey he is with his lack of spacial awareness. He followed me over to the couched and jumped up when I sat down on the one opposite of Declan. Nux immediately laid down next to me and put his big block head on my lap, waiting for me to pet him.

"Any luck finding Noah?" I asked, keeping my voice low so only Declan would hear.

It took him a moment to look up from his screen, his finger pausing from scrolling. Only his eyes moved so he was looking up at me through is lashes. He held my gaze for a moment in silence before looking back down at his screen.

Guess I deserved that. Ignoring him, I turned my attention to Nux and started to rub behind his ears.

"Not yet." He answered without looking up, his voice monotone.

Running my fingers through the short fur at the top of Nux's head I sighed. I was already nervous about him running out on us earlier but now that we've gone all day with no word from him I was starting to feel apprehensive.

"What happens if we can't find him?"

Again, his finger stopped mid scroll. I could see him thinking of a response but one never came. Instead he kept scrolling, his eyes glued to the screen.

"All you wanted to do last night was talk and now you're giving me the silent treatment?" I retorted.

His eyes blinked up at me, staring at me emotionlessly through his lashes. He gave me goosebumps with the way he looked like a Stanley Kubrick villain.

"You really think this is the time to act like a brat?" He bit back.

"I-" my mouth closed and I pulled my lips in between my teeth, biting them awkwardly before I let them pop back into place. "I'm worried about Noah."

"Then shut up and let me do my job."

I could feel the tears stinging my eyes. I tried so desperately to hold them back but they had already started to spill over my lashes. Quickly putting my head down so my wet hair fell in front of may face, I focused on the dog in my lap.

Declan let out an audible, annoyed breath through his nose when he heard me sniffle back my tears. "Scars-"

His words were cut off by the door to the factory being kicked open. In one swift motion, Declan threw his tablet aside and was at my side, putting his hand at the back of my neck shoving me down onto the couch so I was hidden behind the backrest of the couch. Turning, he drew his gun from the holster at the front of his jeans and had it aimed at the door. Nux was off of me in a flash, racing for the door.

With his back to me, I couldn't help but peak over the top of the couch to see what was going on. Ben, who was still sitting in front of the monitors had his gun aimed at the intruder.

There in the threshold stood a tall, lean figure in all black wearing a black motorcycle helmet with the visor heavily tinted. His arms were up in the air, waving in surrender.

"Don't shoot, don't shoot!" Noah's muffled voice yelled out in a panic. He unlatched the clip under his chin and took his helmet off, throwing it down on the ground so Ben and Declan could see his face.

"Christ," He huffed once they lowered their weapons.

Paul entered through the door, pushing Noah to the side before he closed it behind him. "I told you to let me in first."

Declan looked back at me and saw I had my head over the backrest, exposing me to what could have potentially been someone here to kill us. His already angry expression deepened. I watched this jaw clench, the muscles flexing under his skin and I couldn't help but feel like a child who just disappointed their parent.

"Where were you?" Ben asked, annoyed at his friend.

Unzipping his riding jacket, Noah looked between Ben and Declan before he answered. "Out."

"Yea well who ever you were out with got their lipstick all over your face." Ben shot back, nudging the faint red lipstick that stained Noah's cheek with his knuckles. Noah flinched back, smacking Ben's hand away.

"You really think going out for a piece of ass was a smart choice?" Declan asked, crossing his arms over his chest, his tone still flat.

"Well it's a good enough choice for you, your majesty." Noah used his head to motion towards me as he spoke. The embarrassment from Noah's comment felt like a rock falling in my stomach.

"Hey man, shut the fuck with this shit already." Paul yelled, starting to get in his face.

Declan was about to lose it. His arms fell at his sides, his fists clenching so tightly I swear he could bend metal.

"Look," Noah started, running a hand through his matted hair. "There's this girl. She works at the bar that my brother's guy deals from. It's owned by the Russians. She's seen some stuff, alright? And she has a way in with them. I went to her tonight to try and get some information."

Declan let out a disbelieving laugh. "You really think this girl is giving you the information out of the kindness of her heart? She's double crossing you. What all did you tell her?"

"She hates the Russians."

"I'm sure she does! What all did you tell her, Noah? Did you give them our location? Did you tell her that it's been us killing off their dealers?!" Declan's voice was getting louder and more inflamed with every question.

"She's only working at the bar to find out what happened to her friend!" Noah yelled over Declan's rapid-fire questions to get him to shut up. "Her friend Cassy used to work there and she's been missing for months. The cops aren't doing anything about it so she thought she could get in and figure out what happened to her."

I watched Declan mentally rip apart Noah's explanation, trying to decide if he believed the story that this girl had been feeding to Noah.

"She said the Russians fully believe that Desmond is the one killing off their dealers. Anatoly and his guys are coming up with a plan to take Desmond out." Noah continued.

"What's this girls name?" Declan finally asked after a long pause.

"Alie. Alice Sykes."

Declan pointed his slightly trembling finger at Ben. "Get me all the information you can on her." He demanded then turned his attention back to Noah. "Until I know everything about this girl, you're not leaving this fucking building. Understood?"

---------------------------------

Thoughts?

Please don't forget to vote!  :)