Six months passed with Stephen, and I with each memory I regained he helped me sort it all out, which was my life, which was an illusion stuck in my head by Thanos. It took me months to finally sort out the final ones, and once I finally got everything straight in my head, the recollections didn't stop.

I thought after I got my memories back, I'd feel whole again. But if anything, I was worse. Living in constant memory of what Thanos did to me. Remembering my final, hopeless moments on Swartvelheim.

The one memory that refused to leave me was someone else's final moments, as well.

Loki.

The thought of him turned my head into turmoil, and I could never bear to think of him for very long. The life I could've had with him, the one that Thanos stripped away from both of us. I felt like I was trapped under the surface, staring at the ashes of my life and the scars on my skin, forever living in the shadow of who I used to be. I had no idea how to break through the surface, and to be me again. I wasn't sure I would ever be able to.

I knew that Thor was still out there, he still mourned me. I would return to him, but not yet. I didn't think I was ready.

That day, I was sitting in a lounge room of some sort, I didn't know the technical name for it, curled on a sofa with a book on Asgard magicks. I was honestly surprised Stephen had any books concerning the Nine Realms, and it was refreshing to revisit a piece of my past. It was hard to remember that Lyra, so dedicated to her realm, to her king. She was so pure and young and kind...

But she died on Swartvelheim. The thoughts startled from my head when I heard a large crashing noise. I perked my head in curiosity, and an object whipped through the room and knocked over a lamp, before flying out just as quickly. I frowned.

Was that an umbrella?

-

Thor had his arm extended out, and Strange watched with a raised eyebrow as he heard distant crashing as his hammer, disguised as an umbrella, came soaring back.

Thor cringed, giving Strange a sideways glance. "Sorry,"

When he caught it, he shook the glass from the folds of the umbrella, staring back at Strange. "So you'll be sending me off, then?" Thor asked, holding his weapon behind his back.

Strange held up a finger. "There's one more thing," He said. Thor frowned. "You're not going to teleport again are you?" He asked in distaste, spacing his legs out as if bracing himself. Strange chuckled dryly. "No, there's someone here you need to see." He said, staring at the top of the stairs as if he were expecting someone.

"Wha- who?" Thor asked, his eyes flitting to the stairs where Strange looked.

"Stephen? What the hell was that?" A female voice called from another room. Strange looked at Thor, whose face had gone pale. "There she is now,"

-

I walked to the top of the stairs into the parlor room, wondering what he could possibly be doing that he would summon an umbrella.

When I looked down into the room, I stopped.

Stephen was standing at the foot of the stairs in his cloak and wizardry clothes (whatever the name was) and standing across from him was someone I hadn't seen in three years. My knees weakened from under me, and tears welled up in my eyes.

"Thor?" I choked, not believing I'd ever see him again.

"Lyra- you're-" He started, I bounded down the stairs with tears in my eyes. He enveloped me in his broad arms around me and tugged me into a fierce hug, laughing and crying with glee. Tears spilled from my eyes and onto Thor's mundane clothes as I squeezed him back, and he pulled away and looked at me, cupping his hands on my face. "I don't understand- I saw you die," He sniffed, my hands fell to his chest and I smiled sadly at him, wiping my red, watery eyes.

"I'll explain everything," I promised him, he looked at me, and then he yanked me into another bone crushing hug. "I can't believe this, I can't believe your here," He said, and I laughed, squeezing him tight and shaking as I pulled my chin onto his muscled shoulder. I couldn't believe it either, I'd never imagine seeing him again. I didn't think I was ready before, too scared of the person Thanos created to let Thor back in, but seeing him I realized how much I needed him.

After another moment he pulled back, breathing in shakily. "So much has happened since you've been gone." He said, smiling at me while wiping his red eyes. "My father's been missing from Asgard for years, and I've gone to find him." He paused, a smile brightening his face. "You should come with us! Return with us to Asgard, you must've been on Swartvelheim so long.... I can't imagine what you've been through." He said. He assumed I'd stayed on Swartvelheim, and it was a fair assumption without any knowledge of what actually happened. So I let him assume, because I don't think I could get the words out of my mouth to tell him what really happened.

"Okay, I will," I said, smiling back at my friend. Perhaps for the first time in three years, I felt something besides pain. A pleasant warmth blossomed in my chest and hugged my middle, and I wondered if it was happiness that finally found itself back into my life.

We both turned toward, Strange, both of us with red, puffy eyes, and Thor's arm slung over my shoulder and hugging me toward him.

Stephen had a smile on his lips, but it didn't reach his eyes. I frowned at the unease I sensed within him, I'd thought maybe he'd be glad to see me with my friend again. He motioned his hands around for a moment, golden light patterns displaying in his hands, and then cast a portal in front of us. "He's waiting for you," Stephen said, motioning to the pocket of land beyond the circular portal.

"Of course I'll need my brother back," Thor said. The smile shrank from my face and my head snapped up to Thor's,my brows furrowing with confusion. "What?" I asked, my eyes going to Stephen's. He was looking at me, warning in his eyes. I frowned. "Of course," said Strange, he turned his hands skyward, then twisted them in a circular motion until a portal appeared there.

A man's yells from the portal are heard, until someone slams into the floor in a flash of black, a mop of raven black hair falling around his face like a curtain. I jerked away from Thor in surprise, hoping it was not who I suspected it to be. He fell facing away from me, but I knew in my heart who it was.

"I have been falling, for thirty minutes!" He exclaimed, whipping his head up angrily and tossing his hair from his face. I backed away until I was against the wall, frozen with fear. Don't let it be him, I begged in my mind, but no amount of begging would change the man's voice, or his hair, or Thor calling him his brother, or the fact that I just knew it was him. "Brother," Thor said gently, and Loki's head jerked up, anger festering in his emerald green eyes. Fear seized hold of my limbs as I began to tremble, I bit my lip in a futile attempt to stop its quivering.

It's not real

His eyes landed on me and I couldn't move with the fear, the repeat of the mantra I knew so well in Thanos' grasp.

It's not real

"Lyra?" He whispered, the words raw and uneven and almost as if he didn't believe it, I couldn't begin to depict the emotion in his voice, because as soon as I heard that name I launched into movement. Thanos was here, I'd never escaped, I was never safe-

As I bolted Thor cried out my name in shock, not knowing what to do he snatched me around my waist, "Lyra-" "LET GO OF ME!" I cried, tugging at his arm that was hooked around me, Stephen launched into action, seeing my sudden hysterics. "You need to let her go- " When Thor released my waist I stumbled forward, gripping the railing of the stairs.

"Wait-" I heard Loki's voice I sped up the steps, tears falling down my cheeks, and I didn't stop when I heard Loki's voice again.

-

Strange should've seen this coming, he was a fool for thinking she wouldn't automatically assume the worst the moment she laid eyes on Loki's face. She thought he was dead, and was haunted by his memory, both her own and the ones that Thanos put in her mind.

He should've warned her.

Lyra bounded up the stairs, and Strange went to go after her to keep her from doing anything brash, but soon there was a hammer pressed against his chest, and Thor had grabbed Strange by the collar. "What did you do to her!" Thor snarled, rage turning his cheeks red.

"It's not me," Strange said, holding his hands up. "She's scared of him," He said, pointing to Loki. Loki was in a different head space, staring at the stairs where she disappeared, he was in shock, it was clear. "That's bullshit," Thor snarled angrily, Stephen phased behind him. "It's not, she thinks he's dead." Stephen said, careful to be kind with his phrasing. They had lost someone dear to them; and they couldn't begin to grasp that she was here much less terrified of their very presence. Loki's head snapped to his. "What?" He snapped.

Stephen held his hands up. "How? We saw her-die, before Loki did." Thor stuttered accusingly, his eyes were reddening from the restraint of tears and anger. Loki was still frozen, showing no signs of emotion, but his eyes were trained on Strange. Strange sighed, he knew he couldn't tell them the truth. That was Lyra's truth to tell.

"She survived the elf," Strange drawled cautiously. "And when she awoke, she saw your body. She suffered a head injury and had significant memory loss, she was on that planet for months until I found her. I took her here and helped her regain her memory, but for all she knows you are dead. She's scared, and she doesn't know what to believe."

Loki stared hard at him, he was a calm mask of emotions, but Strange could also see his disbelief. Thor ran a hand down his face. "I'll go talk to her-" "I don't think that's a good idea." Strange interrupted.

Thor flipped toward him angrily. "Oh bullshit! Lyra's known me all her life, she's known you- what? A few days? A month?" Thor growled. Strange helped up his hands defensively.

"Last time she got that hysterical, she tried to stab herself in the throat." Stephen said gently. The color flooded from Thor's cheeks and his head whipped to the top of the stairs where Lyra had disappeared. He could see the need in Thor's eyes to run toward her and stop her from doing anything of the sort, but to his credit, he remained still. "I know how to handle her this way, alright?" Stephen insisted, Thor huffed a frustrated breath, but his demeanor changed completely at the mention of her attempted suicide.

He stepped aside and let Strange pass, and Loki continued to stare hard at the staircase, a suspicious, yet pained look in his eye.
-

When I was in the room I'd known so well the past six months, I shrunk against the wall, cries spilling from my lips and tears from my eyes. I had thought I was safe for so long- but I had been a fool. How had I let myself fall victim to yet again another illusion?

When Strange had come through the door and found me crying there, I began to scoot away from him, sobs racking my chest. "Lyra- please- you have to calm down," He said, I sank against the wall, staring at him with red eyes. "You lied to me, you gave me hope," I spat through uneven breaths, though I knew it was futile. He crouched down in front of me and I didn't bother to try and get away from him. I knew it was pointless.

"This is probably not the best way to tell you, but Loki never died. He faked his death after he thought you did." He told me gently. I curled my teeth at him in a crude smile. "Your lies enter empty ears," I snarled, and he sighed and dragged a hand through his hair. He picked up my hand and I didn't fight him as he turned my palm up.

"Your.. fire." He said. "You said before that you can't summon it in illusions."

I sucked in a breath, I hated listening to word from his mouth. I'd let him give me hope for months, and know I continued to let his lies affect me. But... I knew he was right. Thanos could never fake it...

An orange light turned into red flame in my palm, it circled for a moment before threading around my fingers spritely and then spread across my palm and around my wrist. I shuddered with relief. My quick, heavy breathing slowed slightly, and Strange, seeing me begin to calm at the look of the small tendril of flame moving in my palm, sagged in relief.

"My Loki is alive?" I asked, my voice merely above a whisper, shaking, and still unbelieving. And though I saw and felt my fire, I still could not let myself realize it.

"You still don't believe it, do you?"

I didn't answer, the look on my face was enough.

-

Finally coming back to the parlor room was difficult, and when I saw Loki and Thor, watching me come back down with wide eyes, it was even more difficult to remember that this was real. I tried to prevent myself from shaking, tried to shake the memories of Loki's blade carving into my skin as I walked down.

"Are you alright?" Thor asked me, thankfully staying at respectful distance. I gave him a curt nod, trying my best to smile, but it came out more as a grimace. "Are you up for this?" He asked me, nodding toward the portal. I'd almost forgot we were going to confront Odin, and I didn't know if I was ready, but I still nodded. When I looked at Stephen, he gave me a reassuring nod.

He mouthed the word fire to me, no doubt a reminder that I was safe.

I wanted to believe him, I really did, but everything in my head screamed the opposite. I turned my head and looked at Loki, the memory of his hands touching my skin almost completely drowned out by the fresher illusion of his dagger carving my flesh. Loki met my eyes, and I felt myself frozen in place, his emerald green eyes shone with emotion that I knew to well.

He was in pain, seeing me so terrified of him. I hated myself for doing that, but I couldn't stop shaking.

The Lyra that trusted him unconditionally was gone, she was trapped under water, and I couldn't fish her out. No matter how hard I tried.

Hello, loves, hope you enjoyed today's chapter.

I've decided to start updating weekly, right now I will be updating every Saturday, but if you guys have a day that you'd like me to switch to I have no problem with that, just drop it in the comment section. Thank you ❤️

Come back next Saturday at 8 pm CT time for the next chapter