-Sky-

The day had been amazing. It had been everything I could've wished for. Max had been so nice to me, and for a moment, I thought we were the only two people left in the world. Just the two of us, no one else.

And then my dream world came crashing down. I remembered the reality when he said he couldn't come camping with me every weekend.

The drive back to Max's home was agonizingly long, and we didn't speak much. I was mostly staring out of the window on my side, but still tried to say something every now and then.

"It was left from here, right, Max?" My dad spoke, and I snapped my head in his direction.

I hadn't paid much attention to our surroundings. I couldn't remember where Max lived, and I had no idea where we were, even though we had just been there a few hours ago. But I did remember his house, which was looming up ahead. I felt disappointed that my time with Max was over, but at the same time I was relieved, too.

I just wanted to go hide in my room and never come out again. I was too embarrassed of myself to be around people at that moment. I'd been acting like a little kid the whole day. Of course Max preferred spending his time with his mature friends, the ones he went to parties with, and talked about their relationships and sex and stuff, instead of the embarrassment that was me.

"This is it," Max spoke, and my dad stopped the car. "Thanks for the ride, Mr. Jenkins."

"Any time," Dad spoke with a smile, and I saw him looking at me with a hint of worry in his eyes.

I turned to look at Max and tried to smile at him. "I'll see you on Monday?"

"Sure," Max replied with a bigger smile. "We didn't decide on when we're going to start with the project."

"We can talk about it when we meet again," I said quietly.

"Okay, see you at school then," Max said, and got out of the car.

I waved at him slowly before he shut the door and started walking to his home. My dad waited for a moment before he started driving again.

"Is everything all right?" he asked worriedly. "Was he being mean to you?"

"No! Nothing like that," I hurried to say. "I'm just a little tired, that's all. I think I stayed in the sun for too long."

It was a lie, of course, but I didn't want him to worry over me. He was always worried about me. Freddy was far more outgoing than I was, and easy to make friends with. He was smarter too, and bigger, and liked sports, so he was the better son. I was a little kid. I was the one who still came home covered in mud and with a bleeding knee.

"Did you find the owls?" Dad asked after a while.

"We found their nest. Max helped me to see it! He built me stairs with some bales so I could climb high enough to look! I wish I would've brought my camera though..." I trailed off and sighed.

"I thought you did take your camera with you," Dad spoke.

"I did. It's right here," I said, and grabbed the camera from the seat. "It was here in the car the whole time..."

"No way," Dad chuckled. "I'm sorry. I should've made sure you take it with you."

"It's not your fault," I sighed and put the camera away. "I'm just a stupid little kid who forgets or breaks everything..."

"Don't say that!" he said sharply.

I didn't start arguing with him. I was right, but he was my dad, so by default, he didn't think there was anything wrong with me.

Soon we arrived at home, and I made sure I had all my stuff with me before leaving the car. I followed Dad to the front door, and once we were inside, I climbed upstairs. I went straight to my room and closed the door. I put the camera back on the shelf, left the rest of the stuff at the end of my bed as I climbed on it and lay down on my stomach. I grabbed a pillow and buried my head in it.

"I wish I was more mature," I whispered to no one.

*****

An hour later, Mom knocked on my door.

"Dinner is ready!" she spoke with a loud voice and opened the door. "Sky?"

"Coming," I muttered, sitting up on the bed.

"What's wrong?" she asked and stepped in. "Did something happen with Max?"

"I feel a little sick..." I muttered.

I didn't like lying to my parents, but I did not want to tell them why I was being so down.

Mom frowned and walked to me. She pressed her hand on my forehead and waited for a moment. "You don't have a fever," she muttered.

"Humans can be sick without fever," I said quietly.

"True, but my instincts tell me your body isn't sick. It's something else," she spoke softly and sat down next to me. "Even your dad believes something happened at the barn. Did Max hurt you?"

"No!" I sighed in irritation. "It was just the sun..."

I wasn't lying about that. Max was the sun, and I'd been too close to him for too long. I'd started seeing mirages; dreams about things that would never happen. And then the eclipse came, and I was left cold and lonely when he showed me my place.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" Mom said. "Talking is better than keeping it all locked up."

"I'm fine, Mom," I said quietly.

I knew she didn't believe me, but she let it go. She hugged me tightly before standing up. "Come. Maybe things look better once you have a full stomach," she said, offering her hand.

I grabbed it hesitantly, feeling more like a ten-year-old clinging onto his mother's hand. I let it go as soon as I was standing on my feet and followed her out of my room. She looked at me once more when we were walking downstairs. She looked just as worried as my dad had back in the car.

A few moments later, we were all sitting at the dinner table, and I was almost shocked to see Freddy with us. I hadn't seen him outside the school since he usually spent all his time with his girlfriend.

He was wearing black skinny jeans and a white T-shirt with a logo of some band on it. He had bracelets on his wrists and a chain necklace around his neck, and his short, blond hair was literally standing up. People used to say we looked like twins, but I couldn't even tell that we were related. He looked like someone Max would like to be friends with. Instead of me, a weirdo wearing a bright yellow, worn down T-shirt and a saggy pair of blue jeans with holes in them.

"What are you staring at?" Freddy asked with a frown. "Do I have something on my face?"

"No, sorry... It's just weird to see you at home," I muttered, and grabbed my fork.

"Yeah, I guess I haven't been home much," he chuckled and rubbed his neck.

I could see hickeys on his skin.

"You should spend more time with us," Mom said with a complaining tone. "I know you're a teenager, but still. Are you even doing your homework?"

"I'm doing my homework with Stacy. You've seen my grades..." Freddy spoke, glaring at me like he wanted to strangle me for bringing it up.

My mood was already down, and now I was feeling absolutely miserable. Not because Freddy was angry with me, I was used to it. We did have a good relationship, but we were so different that we didn't have much to talk about. No, I was sad, because there was no way I could ever be like him. Even if I had the same clothes and the same hairstyle, I would still be the dorky little kid. My brother was cool. That was something I could never be.

I tuned out and stared at my plate, eating halfheartedly. I wondered, if I paid more attention to sports and fashion and TV-shows that were not about animals, could I learn to be cooler? Maybe if I threw out my kitty-posters and that stupid green backpack with a turtle on it... It hurt to even think about throwing them all out, but I had to do something. I had to become someone else if I wanted to have friends.

"Uhm... Mom?" I spoke timidly, like I was about to ask something dangerous. In a way, I was. "I could use... some new..." I took a deep breath and forced myself to say the final word, "clothes."

They all fell silent. They all were staring at me with wide eyes. Then a wide smile appeared on my mom's lips.

"FINALLY!" she shrieked. "Yes! When? Now! Oh my God, I knew this day would come!"

She grabbed her fork and stuffed her mouth with mashed potatoes. "I knew it, I knew it!"

"Uh... Honey...? Calm down. You're scaring me..." Dad muttered, while Freddy just stared at me.

"No time! We are going shopping!" Mom spoke with her mouth full. "Hurry up, Sky! We can still make it to the mall!"

I closed my eyes and shivered. My mom took shopping seriously. I could only wish I wouldn't regret going to the mall with her.

*****

Mom had been serious about going to the mall right after dinner. A part of me was regretting my decision to ask for new clothes, but the other half kept insisting that new clothes would make me more popular. Maybe I could learn how to be cool if I dressed accordingly.

Freddy had decided to come with us since he needed new shoes. Though I was sure he was more interested in making fun of me than getting new sneakers. At least I could ask his advice about what kind of clothes I should get.

But when we stepped inside the mall, I immediately regretted saying anything. The whole place was filled with cool kids. I already knew I would never fit in, no matter what I was wearing. The kids were just lounging there with their cool phones, taking pictures of themselves. Some of them were doing pranks on each other while the others filmed it. If they weren't on their phones, the girls talked about makeup and the guys were catcalling them, snickering if the girls looked at them.

The fact that they were hanging in a mall made my stomach twist unpleasantly. I didn't like that place. It was too crowded, and the only plants they had were fake. Nothing about the mall was natural, and I couldn't see myself spending hours in that place. That was why I would never fit in.

"That looks like a good place to start," Mom spoke, and I turned to see the store she was pointing at.

"Absolutely not!" Freddy chuckled. "Sky has enough grandpa clothes already. I know a place where we can get nice clothes."

We had no choice but to let him lead the way. Mom tried to suggest some other stores too, but Freddy shook his head every time. He had a determined look on his face, and it worried me.

Then, finally, he stopped and nodded his head towards a store on our left.

"That's where we can find good clothes for you," he said victoriously.

I peered in and my head started to hurt. It felt like I couldn't fixate my eyes on anything since all the clothes were colorful, full of pictures or text. The store looked like it had been designed by a madman on drugs.

"H-Here?" Mom spoke and peeked in. "Aren't these a little too... too much?"

"This is what the kids are wearing now. If Sky wants to blend in–"

"I didn't say anything about blending in!" I hurried to say.

"Oh, come on!" Freddy chuckled. "If this isn't about Max Peterson–"

"It's not!" I squealed and turned bright red on the spot.

Freddy stared at me for a moment with a knowing smirk on his face. Then he turned to look inside the shop and chuckled.

"Sure, sure..."

I bit my teeth together and marched through the doors. I could hear Mom muttering to Freddy, asking what Max had to do with me wanting to blend in.

"Never mind..." Freddy murmured back. "Sky! Wait up!"

I ignored him, letting my gaze run over the clothes around me. I couldn't understand what was so fascinating about them. Clothes were supposed to keep people warm and hide their personal areas, but for some reason, they had a bigger meaning to others.

There were a bunch of teenage girls close by, and one of them had a dress in her hands. She had almost a worshipping look on her face as she showed it to her friends, who all sighed in awe. To me, it was just another blue dress with tiny sparkles on it. It didn't even look comfortable to wear.

"Here – try this on," Freddy spoke, giving me a hoodie. Then he started going through a pile of T-shirts. "You know, you could start listening to music. Everyone loves music, so it's a good topic to talk about," he said.

"I don't know what to listen..." I muttered, undressing my jersey so I could put on the hoodie.

"I'll give you something to listen to," Freddy promised, giving me a pair of black jeans. "What size are you?"

"What does my size have to do with music?" I asked before thinking.

"No, uh..." Freddy laughed and shook his head, "I need to know your size so I can find the right clothes for you. We are shopping, remember?"

"Oh..." I muttered. "I don't know..."

"You don't...?" Freddy trailed off and took a deep breath before he smiled at me. "Don't worry, we will find the right size."

"Thanks..." I muttered, looking at myself in the mirror.

The hoodie did look cool, but as soon as I was wearing it, it turned into an ordinary piece of clothing. It had to be because of me. I turned everything cool into something really lame.

"It's too big for you," Freddy said, grabbing another hoodie from the rack. "Try this."

*****

By the end of the day, after three hours of shopping, I had a huge pile of new clothes on my bed. Freddy and Mom kept insisting that I looked just like all the cool kids when I was wearing them, but I couldn't see it.

I was so exhausted since Mom had made us visit every single store that sold clothes for teenagers. I just wanted to go to sleep already, but since Mom and Freddy were on a roll, they didn't leave me alone.

"All right, let's do something with your hair, shall we?"

I turned to look at Stacy, Freddy's girlfriend, who was holding a pair of scissors in her hands. Freddy had insisted we'd go get her after leaving the mall, so she could give me a new haircut. He was lurking in the corner of my room with a grin on his face.

I glared at him before letting out a sigh, then followed Stacy into my bathroom and sat down on a chair. Freddy joined us, and soon enough, Mom also came in.

"Just don't do anything radical. Sky's so new to all this," she said, eyeing at Stacy's hair.

Stacy had a big cloud of rainbow-colored hair around her head. I had no idea how she'd managed to make it look so big. It was everywhere.

"You're such a cutie," Stacy told me, brushing her hands through my hair. "Therefore, you need a cute haircut too!"

I grimaced when she said I was cute. I didn't want to be cute!

"Trust me, when I'm done with you, all the girls will line up to you," Stacy said with a confident voice.

"Yeah, the girls..." Freddy chuckled. "And maybe someone else too."

"Someone else?" Stacy repeated, turning to look at Freddy with a frown. "Like a guy?"

She turned to look at me with wide eyes when the realization kicked in. She had a manic look on her face. She looked a lot like Mom when I'd asked her for new clothes. "You like a guy?! Oh my God, that is so cute! Who is he?"

"I don't like anyone!" I groaned, feeling my face turning red again. "Freddy is just joking..."

"Yeah, sure..." Freddy laughed. "He's been talking about Max Peterson nonstop for the past few weeks."

"He's my friend! I don't like him like that," I tried to tell him, but somehow, he had always seen right through me.

"All right, stop teasing your little brother," Mom said sternly. "Sky is too young to think about boys – I mean girls..."

"I'm fifteen..." I muttered.

"And I wish I could stop you from getting any older," she said tenderly and planted a kiss on the top of my head. "You'll always be my baby."

"Mooom...." I sighed in irritation.

"You are so adorable," Stacy cooed like I was a small child, ruffling my hair. "I want a little brother like you! Mine is just a pain in the ass..."

I sighed and snapped my mouth shut. Maybe if I stopped talking, people would think I was cool. Or that I was too dumb to speak, which would be just my fudging luck.

"Let's get started," Stacy said, when I didn't say a word.

She grabbed her scissors, and I closed my eyes, hoping that I'd made the right decision.