The morning air was crisp and still. It smelt of wet grass and drying leaves; not to mention sweat. The grass crunched under my feet and puffs of steam were sent flying as I exhaled.

My breathing was uneven. I was gasping for breath. Bark, however, ran with ease. He had good form and his breaths were steady. I glared at him sidelong as we ran. Annoyed, I increased my pace slightly, so I got to the finish point just before him.

Stopping, I doubled over, taking in great lungfuls of air. "You know," I said between breaths, "If I had've known you'd be running so easily, I wouldn't have invited you."

"Good, next time don't," Bark replied. "Mornings are for sleeping, not exercise."

Shaking my head at him, I dropped myself onto the grass and started doing sit-ups. "How are you so thin?"

Bark shrugged and lay down beside me, beginning his reps. "Just am."

"You eat a lot," I said.

"And so do you," he replied, sounding annoyed.

I only grunted in response. Fixing my eyes on a leaf hanging from the tree above me, I continued my sit-ups.

"More importantly," began Bark, curiousity filling his voice. "Where were you last night? I was asleep by the time you got back."

I shrugged and rolled over, getting in a pushup position. "I was with a girl," I said, dropping low and raising myself again.

"Bullcrap," Bark answered, standing up and beginning squats.

I finished my pushups and shrugged at him. "Don't know what to tell ya."

I jumped, grabbing a tree branch above me. Hands wrapped around the tree, I began chin-ups, the thin branch dipping under my weight.

Bark eyed me skeptically. "Alright, what's her name?"

"Evelyn."

"Wait, Evelyn? Our year? grey hair?" He asked, gesturing at his head.

"That's the one," I answered, dropping to the ground.

Bark laughed. "You really know how to pick them; I'll give you that."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, more curious than anything.

Bark shrugged. "She's just quiet. Doesn't say much and I hardly see her around outside of classes."

I laughed, short and sharp. "Well, you ain't wrong. But you're in no position to give advice. What's with you and June?"

Bark looked at me dumbly. "What do you mean?"

I could only blink at him. "You serious?"

Frowning, Bark raised his hands innocently. "Don't know what you're on about."

"Poor girl," I muttered.

"Heard that," Bark growled.

I nodded, raising my brows. "I'll take another lap. Catch you later."

Bark smirked, but without his usual humour. "I don't know why you'd want to lose that gut of yours. It's not like you're fat. Really, it's just an armrest."

I laughed. "Maybe so."

Shaking my head, I turned and began running. I jogged towards the fence line, where I could disappear amongst the trees and run in peace.

As I jogged, my breathing became ragged again. The burn in my legs was painful, but I pushed through it. Just a little further. I'm nearly there. I can go a little farther, can't I?

I slumped against a tree, catching my breath. That's when I fell. Leaning against that tree, I just slid downwards, till I was on the ground. I stayed awhile, watching the morning sun break through the treetops.

The light of day, and the warmth it brings, is truly something special. Though, against its majesty, the darkness of things becomes glaringly obvious.

I laughed weakly and remembered what Einstein had said, 'Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.'

I'm not sure how many times I'd done this now, but it had to work eventually, right? One day, would I be fast enough to outrun it, or could I be strong enough to kill it? Either way, it's getting too heavy. This thing that hangs over me, I can't carry it much longer, but I refuse to break. That's possible, right? Could I maybe... win?

I know how this goes, so I was ready and waiting. When the cold rage filled me, I slammed my fist down upon my leg. Then I stood, not waiting for the pain to numb. My heavy footfalls thudded throughout the forest as I raced along.

In that moment, I was blind to everything around me. All I could do was run. Run and do not crash. Do not fall. Do not break. I dodged trees and bushes and hardly noticed the birds. It's no surprise I was oblivious to her.

Sprinting through the trees, I didn't see the girl, eyes wide at my passing. In that moment when I was blind, she saw it. Someone finally saw it.

Her lips curled downwards as I disappeared through the foliage. She simply stood and thought about what she'd just seen. It was a boy. It was J. Though, there was something different. Now, when he thought he was alone, his walls had come down and just for a moment she saw his pain.

A distant bell broke her from a reverie. The bell was signaling that the dining hall was now open for breakfast, but that didn't mean much to her. That wasn't true for him, though.

Hearing the bell, I turned and ran back towards the boy's dorms. There was a small crowd already heading to the dining hall. I worked my way through them, back to the dorm room. I snatched up some clean clothes and a towel.

Not two minutes later I was in the showers, hot water washing over me. It was relaxing. My worries didn't quite wash away, but I managed to shelve them for a while. So that, when I checked the mirror and found that fake smile on my face, I just chuckled and nodded.

"Just a little farther."