My phone buzzed angrily. Edging closer to death it crawled towards the edge of my desk. Grunting, I fastened my belt. My phone slipped from the desk, and I snatched for it, but merely smacked it away, sending it careening into a wall.

Feeling a little piece of myself die inside, I simply stood and stared at the fallen device which continued to buzz. Sighing, I eventually walked over and picked it up. There was a small crack running across the corner of the screen. Checking closely, I breathed a sigh of relief. Only the screen protectors had broken.

My brows furrowed upon seeing the name lighting up my phone. Pursing my lips, I slipped a hand into my pocket and raised the phone to my ear.

"Hey, Mark," I answered casually.

"J, where are you?" Mark asked in a cheery voice.

Slowly turning, I looked around my dorm room. "Lost in the abysmal and existential void."

Mark laughed and yelled into the phone. "Well, climb out! We've got things to do and places to be! You're ready to go, right? Meet me by the front gate."

Without another word, Mark hung up and I was left dumbly standing there. Shaking my head, I sighed before walking out.

For context, it's Saturday. Evelyn texted me this morning and told me we were hanging out in Lambarra tonight. Now, I was late to meet Mark who I guess is my chauffeur or something? Apparently, Evelyn had already filed leave permission forms for both of us without telling me. I doubt that was allowed. Josiah must have pulled some strings.

Deciding to hurry and get some answers, I jogged to the front gates. Mark's old Ute sported fresh scratches on one side, but I decided not to ask about them. Other questions were already filling my head.

Slipping into the passenger seat, I glanced over at Mark. He was grinning like an idiot. We were alone in the car.

"Where's Evelyn and what's happening?" I asked, my brow raising.

Pulling away from the curb, Mark sped away from the school. "The world is ending."

Grunting, I cocked my head. "About time."

So, I won't be getting any answers from Mark, just sarcasm and judgmental looks. I tried to ignore it, but he kept glancing at me. He was trying and failing to be inconspicuous.

"What?" I asked, catching him looking at me again.

"Really dressed up, didn't you?" He said drily.

My face falling, I ran my hand over my thigh. "These are my nicest jeans."

Not responding, Mark made a noise and raised his brows, shaking his head disappointingly. Did I really look that bad? Navy blue jeans, thin grey sweater. I shaved and even wore my nice sneakers, the ones without holes!

Feeling rather insecure, thanks to Mark, I spent the rest of the trip peering out the window. Flowers were blooming in the forest. Bright green leaves dotted the many trees. The sun was just nearly done setting over the treetops.

My mind wandered; I was completely oblivious to our route. It wasn't until Mark stopped the car that I blinked myself to life. My brows furrowing, I got out of the Ute and looked around. We were in a small carpark. A nearby path led up the mountain to the lookout.

Leaning over from the driver's seat, Mark grinned at me. "Alright, have a good night!"

Gunning the engine, Mark reversed quickly before slamming the brakes. My door swung shut on itself and Mark sped away. I'm starting to see why his car is so damaged.

When he disappeared from sight, I looked around again. I was the only here. Shaking my head, I figured that Evelyn was waiting at the lookout. If that's the case, what am I still doing here?

A small smile resting on my face, I strolled up the path. Mountain air mingled with pollens and the buds of spring to attack my nose with a cacophony of scents.

The air was so still tonight. The coolness of night was beginning to set in, but it wasn't cold.

My feet dutifully carrying me to my destination, I reached the end of the path. There I saw her, standing by the edge of the platform. When she turned and smiled at me, I realised that the view here really is exquisite.

Her smile melting away, Evelyn pressed her hands to her hips. She scowled. "Really dressed up, didn't you?"

Man, these two are like mirror images. Except that, Evelyn is cuter. Significantly, cuter.

Preparing a sarcastic response, I shook my head and grinned, but something caught my eye. What was that, wrapped around the handrailing? Was Evelyn wearing a dress? It's so, uh, I don't know what colour that is. Like a white-blue?

Her hair done up in a neat bun, a loose strand trailed down by her cheek. Her dress fitted tightly to her small figure, tapering down to the knees. Her nails were painted a clear colour, for what reason I don't know. She looked incredible, though her white sneakers were a far-cry from the rest of her ensemble.

"Wh-what's happening?" My head cocked dumbly, and I peered at her like a confused puppy.

Still scowling, Evelyn marched to the edge of the platform and fiddled with something. A moment later, golden fairy lights sprung to life, clinging to the guardrails. Making a show of waving her phone in the air, Evelyn placed it on the handrailing, and music filled the night air. She marched over, grabbed my hand and yanked me onto lookout.

Without warning, Evelyn cupped her hand in mine, placed a hand on my shoulder and began slowly dancing. Blinking stupidly, it took a moment for me to realise what was happening.

A huge grin spreading across my face, I squeezed Evelyn's hand. My free hand hovering beside her waist, I raised a brow. "May I?"

Evelyn nodded and I proceeded. Like that, we slowly danced across the lookout. Stars slowly began twinkling overhead, jealous that they couldn't shine brighter than us.

Admittedly, we stumbled a few times, stepping on each other's toes and crashing into each other, but all we could do was laugh. The smile on our faces were so big. My eyes were wider than they'd ever been and the last of the weight on my shoulders melted away.

It wasn't because of the dancing, but rather because of Evelyn. It was because, she gave me another answer. For this girl, I am so grateful. For the morning sun, the evening moon. For the wind and the rain. For the joy and the pain. For Bark, June, Charlotte, Daniel, my parents and sisters. For all of it, I am so grateful. Gratitude is a game-changer.

I won't always be thankful for everything, but there are always things I can be thankful for. As long as those exist, I do believe that I will be okay. It's been a long time coming.

These were the thoughts churning my mind as we danced to Hey There Delilah. The tune caught in my head, and I grew thoughtful. Replaying the chorus mentally, I listened closely.

My smile growing impossibly wider, I shook my head at Evelyn. "You know, this song, it works with your name too."

Evelyn's head tilted, but she her grin never faltered. "What?"

"Hey there, Evelyn, won't you dance with me tonight? I'm right there if you're ready, so take my hand, it'll be alright," I sang, butchering the lyrics.

Scoffing, Evelyn shook her head. "Please, stop," she begged.

Throwing my head back, I laughed to the sky. The noise carried out in the night before fading; replaced by curiousity.

Staring suspiciously at Evelyn, I smirked. "I'm curious. You said you wouldn't dance with me until the world ends?"

Her eyes narrowing, Evelyn squinted. "I'm not going to say something about you being my world or whatever it is you're thinking."

Laughing again, I shook my head. "I can't be your world. That would be dumb. There's so much more out there than just me. I hope we can see it together."

Evelyn gasped and lowered her head. Biting her lip, she tried to keep from laughing. "I hope so too."

Eventually, the music changed, becoming slower. Evelyn and I broke apart before wrapping our arms around each other. She rested her head against my chest. Swaying back and forth, under the moon, I felt a tear kiss my cheek.

The single droplet streaked down my face and careened onto Evelyn's shoulder. Raising her eyes to peer at me, Evelyn frowned. "J, what's wrong?"

Shaking my head, I smiled and inhaled deeply, my breath shaky. Laughing brokenly, I met her gaze and shrugged. "I'm not scared."

The words hung in the air and were more of an incredible melody than any song ever could be.

Her lips stretching into a wide smile, Evelyn wiped the traces of the tear from my cheek. Her hand lingered there for a moment. Some might need to steel their courage, but not her. She was like me, she wasn't scared.

"I love you," she said, as if it were obvious.

Taking her hand in mine, I closed my eyes and whispered, "I love you too. Thank you, V. Thank you for saving me."

There it is, my tale, in short. The questions that kept me up at night and the answers which I changed and added to endlessly. That was my strategy. Other people might use something different. Whatever works for you, I say. However, there might be some universal truths.

I couldn't have arrived at this conclusion without some help. Though it killed me to admit I was struggling, it taught me something. Resilience, I think, is not one's own toughness. Rather, a person's resilience is determined by the quality and support of the people around them. That's not to say any one person is weak, but rather, there is always a chance to be stronger; to go a little further.

So, that's that. We all face challenges, and life can be terrifying, but by realising what we value, and what allows us to thrive, then we can enjoy the life we bear.

The Life We Bear - Fin