Life goes on. Time never stops, not for a moment. Whether in pain or happiness, time marches on, dragging us by the ankles. Kicking and screaming we can fight, but it's useless. So, isn't it better not to fight but to abide? To trust that tomorrow will come and to do our best to make it good? That's what I think, but I don't have all the answers.

I'm missing something. I can feel it. I never knew that losing something could be so heavy. This thing exists right in front me. It's something every person knows from birth; ingrained into our very beings. So how could I forget it?

I've searched relentlessly and now I am tired. Blessed, lucky, happy, but so very tired. It's always there, a weight in my chest, refusing to budge. Pain ricochets through me, refusing to be forgotten. The terror I've known, Bark and June's heartache, Charlotte's loneliness, Daniel's self-hatred, Evelyn's hopelessness. These things have been to laid rest upon my shoulders. I tried to send them to the grave but still they persist.

I am scared.

Music rose to a crescendo, the melody raising my head before dropping it cruelly. Actors danced across the stage. Charlotte sang, not perfectly, but better than I ever could. Her acting was stunning. When she forced tears to her eyes, when she looked broken, still you could see how much fun she was having. I was a little jealous, actually.

I sat in one of the many rows of chairs lining the hall. Evelyn sat on my left, ecstasy leaking from her body. It was a treat to see her so happy.

To my right was Bark. He was solemn, an empty expression. He didn't care for musicals, but still he was here. After June had broken-up with him, he had consumed a record number of apples. I wasn't sure whether to be scared or impressed. Now, I'm simply hopeful. He's strong, and I'm keeping my promise to him. He'll be okay. Also, for his birthday next year, I'm buying him an apple tree.

June sat to the left of Evelyn, a childish grin decorating her face. Her eyes were lit upon the stage. It was reassuring. After causing Bark such anguish, she had become miserable, but that spark still lives in her eyes.

It was a pleasant distraction, watching the musical. Peter Pan hopped about the stage, a comical shadow; man dressed in a black bodysuit, dancing after him. The orchestra was fantastic, a testament to the school's musical prowess. The actors were average, apart from Charlotte of course who was far away and the most impressive.

I had to quit the backstage team after my injury, but I couldn't help but feel proud. Even if it was only a little, I helped create this. Now, my friends were doing a fantastic job. The musical was being filmed too; families could purchase the disk and watch a recording. It would be money well spent.

The night hurried on, one breathtaking scene after the other. So quickly the production came to a magical end. The cast bowed and naturally my applause and whistling intensified when Charlotte took centre stage.

So quickly, the mercy ended. The cast disappeared to thunderous applause. The house lights came up, and people began filing from the hall. I waited behind to congratulate Charlotte on her fantastic performance. She was red in the face and smiling from ear-to-ear, not that I blame her. The final scene was show-stopping.

Once Charlotte disappeared backstage again, June and Bark said goodnight briefly before hurrying back to their dorms. There was some awkwardness between the two, but I trust they'll be alright. Whether they date or not, they still love and need each other.

Just like that, Evelyn and I were left standing in the corridor outside the hall. It was late and we should be getting to bed, but I doubt I could sleep. Thankfully, Evelyn read my mind.

Taking my hand in hers, she smiled up at me. "How about a walk?"

A weak smile dotting my face, I nodded. Grinning, she led me from the hall, outside. The weather had been warming lately, but it was still cool in the evening. Though, I have layers of fat to protect me. So naturally when Evelyn shivered, I offered my jacket. The excited glint in her eyes told me that I'd lost another of my favourite hoodies.

Wandering through the trees by the school perimeter, we hopped between patches of moonlight, flittering down between mighty branches arching overhead. The moon was bright tonight, and its silvery light made an excellent guide.

Skipping through the trees, Evelyn smiled pleasantly, a contented look resting on her face. Stopping suddenly, her body spasmed as she sneezed cutely. For so much buildup, it was underwhelming. I couldn't help but chuckle.

Spinning on her heel, Evelyn pointed accusatorily. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Her hand falling, Evelyn sighed. Shaking her head, she fiddled with a loose strand of hair. "I'll allow you to laugh at my sneeze, but just this once."

My brow raising, I flopped backwards, leaning against a tree. "Ah, thank you, princess," I said in grandiose tones, mock-bowing.

Evelyn groaned. "Stop. For once just stop and talk to me. What's going on, J?"

Wincing, my eyes fell to the ground. My shaky smile began to crumble. Burying my hands in my pockets, I kicked at the dirt.

Stepping close, Evelyn smiled gently, her eyes big. Rubbing my shoulder, she bit her lip and begged me to meet her gaze. "J, is it me? Am I," trailing off, Evelyn took a half-step back. "Am I bothering you?"

My eyes snapping upright, I launched myself from the tree. Grabbing Evelyn by the shoulders, I shook my head violently. "No! No, not at all! I'm sorry that you think that. I'll do better."

Covering her mouth, Evelyn giggled. "You're doing great. I just needed something to get your attention."

"Oh," I said dumbly. For a moment, I just watched. Then, I erupted in laughter. My hands fell from her shoulders, and I stumbled backwards. Chortling to the sky, I felt a little of the weight leave my chest.

Laughing a moment longer, I stopped and took a deep breath. Sighing, I collected my thoughts. Leaning against the tree again, my eyes fell back to the dirt and words began falling like rain, slow and miserable.

"I'm sorry, V. That night, when Bark and June, both called me. I had to listen to my friends. They were in so much pain and there was nothing I could do. I listened to Bark tell me how much he cared about her, knowing that she was going to break his heart."

Not saying anything, Evelyn slipped her hands around my waist, pulling me close. I wrapped my arms around her and leaning down, buried my face into her neck.

"It just hurts," I muttered.

"I know. It's okay to not be alright. You have done enough. You can rest now." Evelyn's soft voice carried a smile. Not pitiful, but sincere, reassuring, familiar.

This incredible girl, as she supports me, I swear to raise her up. I will love and hold her; and I know she will love and respect me. That is so much more than I could ever ask for, or ever deserve.

I think, I think all this will be over soon. Then, I can be happy again. Don't misunderstand, I have my answers; I'm excited for the future. Still, I am tired. All this time Evelyn has given me the strength to face each new day, but I doubt it will stay like this. Soon, I will have a new answer. Then, I can be alright again.