Kill me. Please, do it. It's freaking two in the morning, minus eight degrees outside and I am here sweating so hard my pajamas are damp. Give me a break.

Groaning, I pulled myself upright and dragged my hand down my face. Holding my head with one hand, the other crept over my chest. My heart was vibrating; not pounding, or thumping, vibrating.

It was terrifying. That being said, instead of going into panic mode, I felt something else overtake me. Frustration drove me to stay calm. Slowly my heart stilled; wait, that's bad. Work properly, you useless piece of-

Sighing, I shuffled back and leaned against the wall behind me. Tilting my head, I closed my eyes and simply breathed in the cool night air. It's been a while since I had a nightmare like that. It never gets easier. Each one can be as scary as the last or it can be even scarier; or it can be a pushover. Either way, it was still a pain.

It's early, and it's freezing outside. I could try going back to sleep or I could take a five-hour shower. Back to sleep it is! Honestly, I would probably fall asleep in the shower right now.

Taking a few more moments to cool my mind, I took a deep breath, donned a smile, and lay back down. Wrapping the blankets tight around me, I cocooned myself and shuffled closer to the wall. For some reason, it just felt safe there. Though, beneath closed eyelids my pupils darted, searching for a danger that wasn't there.

I flipped the pillow to the cool side and rested my head upon it. The tension in my muscles slowly faded as I reminded myself that I was safe, and just a beast of a man. Seriously, tough as nails. There was nothing to be scared of!

That thought comforted me as I tumbled into a dreamless sleep. In moments, I was sleeping like a log once more. I've said it before, and I'll say it again; I am a simple man.

Cool night air drifting across the mountains, trees grew sharp and the grass brittle as ice hugged the earth. A thin layer of snow dressed the ground, a world of white dancing in the moonlight.

Eventually, the sun cracked the horizon, chasing the chill from my bones. It eased me awake, that light slipping through the blinds. My alarm was a harsh comparison.

Groaning, I rolled over and smacked my phone until the rock music that comprised my morning playlist shut off. I sighed, shook my head, and ripped myself from the mattress, throwing the sheets off. As much as it was very cold and six-thirty, I was determined to exercise. I mean, it was so cold I could probably do with an extra layer of fat but whatever!

Donning my sweatpants, runners, workout-shirt, and jumper, I stepped outside. My instant regret was as sharp as the wind biting my face. It wasn't too late for me to go back to bed.

Pushing the thought from my mind, I hurried downstairs. The grass crunched underfoot as I walked about, shaking my arms and legs out. Jumping slightly, I tried desperately to warm myself up.

Rolling my neck, I sighed, watching my frosty breath float away. I kicked the dirt before taking off at a slow jog. Moving to the forest, I wove between the trees, jumping roots and ducking branches. It would've been pleasant if I wasn't breathing so hard. Is this what it's like for Evelyn?

The best part of my morning exercise was listening to the birds, but today their song was interrupted. A quiet thumping noise bounced lifelessly throughout the forest.

My ears pricked at the new sound. Swiveling, I searched for the source of the noise. Over there, maybe?

My curiousity carrying me past the trees, the noise steadily grew louder. Slowing, I rounded a tree. My head tilted and my hands tunneled into my pockets. My brow furrowing, I leaned against a tree and watched.

Daniel stood in running gear. His unzipped jumper bounced wildly as he boxed. His eyes narrow, muscles taut, he skipped on his toes, hopping back and forth. His hands flying forward, Daniel rhythmically punched a tree. The thudding noise rang out as his fist connected with the hard bark.

Pain appeared on Daniel's face, but he ignored it. Rather than slow, his speed and ferocity increased. No longer skipping, Daniel stood still, slamming one heavy blow after another into the tree. The skin on his knuckles breaking, blood trickled from his wounds, watering the earth.

It was sickening to watch. His anger, the blood spilling from his hands, the pain so obvious on his face; my blood boiled, but I pitied him.

Shaking my head, I cleared my throat. Jumping in surprise, Daniel turned, his eyes widening as they landed upon me.

Daniel's shoulders heaved with each breath. Stumbling backwards, he looked at me strangely. "J, why are you out here?" He asked, panting.

Using my head, I gestured to the tree Daniel had been punching. "I've got the next round."

Confused, Daniel looked to the tree, then back to me. Glowering, he sighed and turned to leave. He had only taken a few steps when I called out.

"Why not practice with someone who fights back?"

Stopping, Daniel glanced over his shoulder. Rolling my neck, I stepped forward and took a boxing stance. Fury was evident on Daniel's face but still he held himself back. I can't have that.

"Why so pissy?" I asked cockily.

His teeth gritting, Daniel turned. Sauntering over, he ground his teeth. Reeling back before launching forward, his fist flew toward me. Standing my ground, I caught the blow on my forearm. Immediately, my arm began throbbing, pain shooting up my nerves.

Grinning, I skipped backwards. Daniel's anger grew and he gave chase. Blow after he blow, he kept punching. Most strikes I blocked with my arms. Others I managed to deflect, swiping them sideways.

So it went, two blokes dancing through the forest in the early morning. Blood trickled from one, bruises sported on the other.

Finally tiring, Daniel paused for just a moment, and I saw my opening. His hands dropped low, and I hurried forwards. Throwing quick jabs, I shot for his face, stopping just short. Squawking, Daniel stumbled backwards, tripping over himself.

From the ground, he looked up at me. Sweat stained his face; he was panting hard. The blood from his knuckles dirtied my forearms.

"Why, why didn't you?" He mumbled between breaths.

Scoffing, I shook my head. Rubbing my forearms, I leaned against a tree. "Hit you? There was no reason to."

His eyes widening, Daniel's jaw dropped. "No reason? I deserved it!"

"For what?" I demanded, looking him in the eye.

Freezing for a moment, Daniel stuttered. "I, I punched you."

"And?"

Daniel sat dumbfounded, unsure of what to say or do. "What are you playing at?"

My face growing soft, I looked sadly upon him. "Why are you so angry?"

His eyes narrowing and fingers clawing at the dirt, Daniel glowered ferociously. Remaining silent, he ground his teeth; refusing to meet my gaze.

Sighing, I shook my head. Glancing at his bleeding knuckles, I smiled gently. "You don't deserve it."

Slamming his fist into the ground, Daniel clenched his eyes shut. "Yes, I do!"

"Why?"

Seething, Daniel silently cursed himself. He stood, shook his muscles out, and closed his eyes as he leaned on a tree. "Just leave me alone."

"You wanted me to punch you, right? You think you deserve it? Why?"

Still refusing to answer, Daniel held his head in his hand. His lips curled back as his teeth bared.

So close now, I can't back off. Please, let me be right; and if I am wrong, forgive me.

Taking a deep breath, I squared my shoulders and launched myself from the tree. Soldiering over, I grabbed Daniel by the collar. "Why?" I shouted. "Why do you deserve this?"

Glaring at me, Daniel's fury gradually melted into hopelessness. His body grew limp in my hands.

"Because I can't," he wheezed. His face distorting in pain, his voice was an angry whisper. "I'm not good enough."

Relaxing my grip, I released Daniel's collar and stepped back. He slammed his fist into a tree and covered his eyes with a hand. His teeth ground painfully before his thoughts finally exploded.

"I try so hard!" He yelled, clawing at the bark. His face twisting in pain and voice dropping, he looked desperately to me. "Why can't I be better? I hate myself so much. I want to be proud of myself. I want others to be proud of me, but every time I look in the mirror, I get so angry. If I could just, I don't know what to do. What if I never change? What if I'm always like this? I'm scared."

Turning my back on him, I looked into the sky and smiled sadly. "I was like you," I whispered. "I wanted so badly to be better." Pausing, I chuckled and shook my head. My eyes falling to Earth, I kicked the dirt. "But this isn't the answer."

"Then what is?" Daniel hissed, begging for someone to help him.

"You have to discover that on your own. It's different for everyone. I'm still working on it; and it's hard, but it's better. I used to feel so worthless, and it pisses me off." Spinning quickly, I looked Daniel in the eye. "I refuse to ever go back there. We move forward or not at all."

Shifting, Daniel rested his head against the tree. His voice quiet and broken, he whispered, "I don't know how."

Smiling, I placed a gentle hand upon his shoulder. "Then take your time, and figure it out. Ask all sorts of questions and learn the answers yourself. You'll be okay. You don't got far to go."