I don't know what to write anymore, and I leave tomorrow/today (depends on when I get this finished). So here, another batch of incorrect quotes coming right up!
Authors note: It's June 27th as I write this, and I have written a record 6 (including this one) chapters today- I mean I did have a half day but that surprises me-
Link: https://perchance.org/incorrect-quote-generator

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Scar: *hiding something in their coat* I think we should adopt another kid!
Grian: No.
Scar: Why not?
Grian: Because when you say "kid", you mean "cat", and we already have fifteen of those.
Scar: *unzips coat* Sixteen.

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Martyn: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL-
Mumbo: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!

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Etho: I'm in love with you.
Joel: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.
Etho: I know.
Joel: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

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Lizzie: This is a safety pin.
*cuts off end*
Lizzie: It is now a danger pin.

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Joel: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.
Joel, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

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Ren: "Go hang a salami" backwards is "I'm a lasagna hog".
Martyn: How did either of those sentences occur naturally for you to discover this?

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Impulse, trying to impress Skizz: I re-initialized the entire command structure, retaining all programmed abilities but deleting the supplementary preference architecture.
Etho: They turned it off and back on again.

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Etho: Welcome to my room. As you can see, I've knocked over many chairs because I get so tilted at the towers.
Tango: Uh, this isn't really tilted. Or a tower.
Etho: Well you see, it's a gamer pad. Not many girls come in here because I get friendzoned so frequently. But that's okay.
Tango: I'd like to be in the Friendzone! I like friends!
Etho: It's not as pleasant as you think. They don't treat you like a friend. They treat you like an item. Sometimes I wish I could be more than just an accessory to these women; But unfortunately, as a gamer, I don't get respect.
Tango: I'm not a gamer! so maybe they'll respect me!
Etho: That just makes you a beta cuck.

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Skizz: Hey, what are you reading?
Impulse: This is my magic book where any ink spilled shows a scripture of the future, however it bears a curse making it broken, and as such in order to make any scripture appears, I have to do it myself.
Skizz: Impressive! I must have it for myself!
Tango: So it's just a Notebook?
Impulse: It's just a Notebook.

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Bdubs, to Scar: You have room temperature IQ.
Scar: What's room temperature IQ?
Cleo: 73°.
Scar: Oh, okay.
Scar: How much is that in IQ?

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Etho: I have a bad feeling about this...
Skizz: What do you mean?
Etho: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?
Skizz: No?
Bdubs: That actually explains so much.

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Tango: When you work at lush and a customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it's cheese... this happens way more frequently than you think.
Skizz: If you stopped literally presenting soap as deli food this wouldn't happen.
Tango: Who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese?
Etho: Who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese?

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Martyn: What's your biggest fear?
Scott: I am incredibly arachnophobic.
Martyn, under their breath: You don't want spiders to get married?

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Jimmy: Is something burning?
Joel: My burning love for you of course! (PLATONIC)
Jimmy: ...
Joel: ...
Joel: And the kitchen is on fire...

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Grian: Why is Jimmy crying?
Joel: They saw a leaf on the sidewalk and-
Jimmy: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY!
Grian: Please don't say what I think you're gonna say-
Jimmy: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH!
Grian: NO, NOT THAT!

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Etho, looking at their reflection: Now, that's rubbish. Who's that supposed to be?
Cleo: Well, that's you.
Etho: Me?! Is that what I look like?
Cleo: You don't know?
Etho: Busy day.

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Cleo, learning how to drive: What happens if I press the gas and the brake at the same time?
Scott: The car takes a screenshot.
Martyn: Please pull over. I'm driving now.

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Scott: A stake to the heart won't kill a vampire if their tits are big enough.
Pearl: Yeah, you just catch it.
Martyn: Nah nah nah, deflects it. Stake? Just bounces right off. Done. Back to doing hot girl shit.
Cleo: Then I just use a spear instead.
Scott: You are trying so hard to kill a vampire with big bazongas, and for what? Why would you do that to the ecosystem?

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Lizzie, about Pearl: Gem, they're an asshole! They have purposely stabbed you on more than one occasion!
Gem: Some of those stabbings were accidental!
Lizzie:
Gem: Okay, well, I know for a fact the third time was accidental.

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Cleo: I need 28 lightbulbs for 28 ducks.
Lizzie: Ducks can't eat lightbulbs?
Gem: I think that's the point.
Cleo: Exactly. I want my ducks to glow so I can find them.

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Ren: You need to be more careful!
Big B, who was dragged into Ren's issue: Careful? CAREFUL?! I'LL CAREFULLY WRAP MY HANDS AROUND YOUR THROAT-

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Skizz: I'm going to get so much done today.
Impulse: I'll hold you to that.
*8 hours later*
Impulse: So how much did you get done?
Skizz: One thing.
Impulse: Well, that's one more than usual.

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Tango: Mint is just cold spicy.
The Squad: ...
Skizz: What the actual fuck is wrong with you.

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Mumbo, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with um, seven espresso shots.
Grian, in line behind them: Jesus Christ, just do cocaine.

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Martyn, to Impulse: First rule of battle, little one... don't ever let them know where you are.
Grian, shooting out of frame: WHOO-HOO! I'M RIGHT HERE! I'M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O' ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH! Whoo-hoo!
Impulse: 'Course, there're other schools of thought.

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Mumbo: I desire moisture.
Grian: Please just say "I want water" like a normal person.

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Grian: Are you a cuddler?
Scar: I'm a machine of death and destruction.
Grian:
Scar: ...Yeah, I'm a cuddler.

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Etho: Joel, please calm down.
Joel: I asked for two large fries!
Joel: *dumps fries onto table*
Joel: But all they did was give me a MILLION FUCKING LITTLE ONES!

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Joel: What are you doing here?
Etho: I could ask you the same question.
Joel: I live here. This is my house.
Etho: I should probably ask you a different question.

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Grian: ARE YOU-
Pearl: Fucking.
Grian: KIDDING ME?! YOU-
Pearl: Fucking.
Grian: IDIOT!
Scar: ...What was that?
Pearl: Martyn banned Grian from swearing, so I'm helping them out.

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Scar: Hello friends!
The Squad:
Scar: You might be wondering why I'm taped to the ceiling

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Martyn: Grian, you look deep in thought. What's wrong?
Grian: Did you know you can look at any object and know what it's like to lick it? Even if you've never touched it before?
Martyn: I'm never asking you anything ever again.

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Scar: Hi.
Martyn: Hey, did you do what I said? Did you tell them?
Scar: I did.
Martyn: And what did they say?
Scar: "Thank you."
Martyn: You're totally welcome. What'd they say?
Scar: They said, "Thank you." I said "I love you" and Grian said, "Thank you."

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Lizzie: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".

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Watchers: I'm gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

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Me: I love sarcasm! It's like punching people in the face, but with words!

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Joel: Jimmy, this morning, I called you abhorrent and reprehensible, and I'd like to withdraw that statement-
Jimmy: Aww, thanks-
Joel: But I can't. Those are the 2 words that best describe you.

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Tango: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it.
Tango: Everything will be fine. You have no choice.
Jimmy: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that?
Tango: Ominous positivity.

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Martyn: What's your favorite color?
Ren: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something logical and mature.
Martyn: How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP?
Ren: My favorite color is pink.

Written on June 27 (As you already may know from the authors note)