Aishah

THREE DAYS LATER after the death of my mom they performed her three days prayer like every other Muslim does,people came to share their condolences.

"We need to talk"Qadirah whispered in my ear and I nodded,every one return back home and I gave Nadeerah to Ibrahim telling him I will return home later

I went to the sitting room and met Qadirah her husband and children sitting down,I joined them and soon enough Abdul joined us

"It's so sad that we lost our parents at this stage of our lives,I never thought a day like this will come sooner but we have no say in what happens in our lives because it was already designated by the Almighty"Qadirah said and I nodded

"So I decided to tell Yunus everything that happened in the past, everything dad said we should bury but the worst part was it wasn't able to stay buried and Mr Kandiri came into our lives the second time taking our mom from us"she said almost sobbing while Yunus grabbed her left hand rubbing it soothingly

"Aishah I'm afraid!"she said bursting into tears and I would be a liar if I didn't agree to what she said,I was afraid too I'm scared of what Mr Kandiri will do next since my mom is dead "I'm afraid for myself and family,I have a daughter too Aishah and I'm scared he might take her away from me,I don't want history repeating itself Aishah I was the only one who knew what I experienced,I was the one who knew how I went through all the pains trying to toughing up for us for my family"she said wiping away the tears from her eyes

"I don't want my daughter to go through thesame fate like me I might be lucky and found Yunus but what if Faiza isn't that lucky,so I'm not risking it Aishah I don't want my child to go through pains of any form,so Yunus and I decided to leave Zaria,we decided to start afresh leaving this state that hold so many bad memories"Qadirah said and my eyes almost popped out

This was the time I needed my family the most and now she's talking about leaving,what about me? Who will be there for me to lean on, I have no dad anymore neither do I have a mother and the only sister I have is planning on leaving me alone in this dilemma

"Where are you going to?"I asked the first question that came to my mind swallowing the lump forming in my throat

"We are leaving Nigeria Aishah"she said and broke into tears and my moistened eyes couldn't hold it any longer,tears fell freely from my eyes so my sister decided to leave me alone in Nigeria taking away my cute niece and Nephew

"We are going to England,Yunus already had a transfer from his company which he initially planned on turning down but because of everything going on he decided to change his mind"she said and I swallowed,I couldn't stop my sister from going to where she wants to go she had her own family to protect and she's doing this for Faiza no one can trust that Kandiri of a man

"What of Abdul?"I asked

"He is coming with us"Qadirah said and I felt my heart squeezed almost popping out through my mouth,the rest member of my family is leaving me alone here and I couldn't do anything,I can't stop them because of my own selfish interest

"When did you plan on going?"I asked

"We will be leaving in a month time,I need to get some documents ready"Yunus replied instead

Abdul glanced between us quiet throughout the ordeal,I nodded my head standing up,I couldn't take this any longer and I needed to cry and release everything I feel inside

"Where are you going!"Abdul asked and I smiled at him

"Home of course"I said and started walking out Abdul tried to stop me but I heard Qadirah talking to him to stop

"Let her be,it's just too much for her to take in,she needs to be alone"

I went to the compound and entered my car driving out of the house I once called home,I tried remaining strong till I reach home,I wasn't ready to cry yet,I parked the car in the compound rushing to my room

I went inside my room and slumped on my bed,I couldn't hold it any longer and burst into tears,I cried bitterly already missing my family even though they aren't gone yet

When did things turn this bad?

I wondered loud and started reminiscing the time I use to live with my parents,I thought I had a good life then and planned on having a better life than that but everything turn upside down,my dad gone,my mom dead and now the rest member of my family I love so dearly running away from the problem we had leaving me alone in this hell hole

My mind drifted to Ibrahim and thinking about him I'm not sure of what I feel for him any longer,it's been crises upon crises and things haven't been going well and here is Halimat having the power to control our lives the way she wanted,I wasn't going to continue living this life I need to do something fast

***********

I left the house early the following day with Nadeerah in my arms as I went to the hospital to check on Fareedah,I heard she had woke up and I wanted to be there for her,she just lost her pregnancy and I know it's going to take a lot from her

I entered the wards reaching Fareedah's room,I open the door and I met her sitting while her mother was preparing tea for her,I greeted her mom who replied smiling at me and I look at my friend with her eyes dull

Fareedah is never the dull type,she's always full of life but seeing her like this breaks my heart the more,I went closer to her dropping Nadeerah beside her in the bed,I took her hands massaging it soothingly while her mom excused us

"I lost my baby Aishah,I didn't know I was pregnant I was so full of revenge and didn't know I have to protect my baby,I lost my baby!"she said breaking into tears

"It's okay dear"I said with my heart breaking

"It's not okay Aishah,it's not at all"she said bursting into more tears and I draw her closer hugging her,she cried on my shoulder and I rub her back

Twenty minutes later Fareedah was smiling again and I was happy for that,I told her about Qadirah's decision and she felt for me understanding how lonely I most feel

"Aishah it's time you do something,you can't allow this people to keep on stepping on you,you have loose a lot in short period of time"Fareedah said sipping the tea her mom prepared for her

"I have been thinking about it too,I need to do something I can't keep on living under their shadows"I said rubbing my temples

"You have lost a lot my dear,you're now an orphan,the rest of your family members leaving you because of them,you lost your son,got raped and most importantly can't mother a child anymore"Fareedah said and my heart broke into pieces

I got sad anytime I'm remembered I can't have a child anymore,it pains me a lot to know Nadeerah will be the only child I will ever call my biological child,I wiped a lone tear from my eyes

"I know what to do"

*****************

I went back home with Nadeerah waiting for Ibrahim to come back home,I needed to talk to him before taking my decision,lucky enough Ibrahim came home earlier than expected looking tired

"I have something important to discuss with you"I told him and he nodded

"Give me some minutes"he said and I went back to my room waiting for him

He came inside the room few minutes later and sat on the bed,he took Nadeerah playing with her

I rubbed my temples trying to calm down before telling him what I want to tell him

"We need to discuss about us"I said and Ibrahim look up at me and stop playing with Nadeerah

"What about us?"he asked

"I want to know about your decision with the way Halimat have been treating me,since your marriage to her I have been experiencing nothing but pains,I can't continue this life anymore"I said as my eyes got moistened

"You have to be patient Aishah I already told you this right from the onset"Ibrahim said calmly and I chuckled dryly

"Haven't I being patient enough! When you got married to her did I do anything? Of course not when she put her leg on my way,did I do anything? When she done the worst making me loose my son,making me barren and got raped by men I do not know did I do anything now Ibrahim answer me aren't I being patient enough! I'm tired of being patient Ibrahim and the only hope in my life right now is nothing but Nadeerah!"I rambled and Ibrahim stood watching me

"What about me?"he asked and I look at him puzzled

"What about you?"I asked

"I thought you said you love me"

"I don't know Ibrahim"I said looking away "I don't know what I feel about you anymore,things have been going wrong for me and love is the last thing on my mind"

"I asked you to be patient for me,you promised to be patient on whatever comes your way and I'm trying...."he started rambling and I cut him off

"Trying what? Ibrahim you didn't do anything rather than walking in the shadow of them,I tried being patient but it didn't pay for me all I ever had I lost it,I lost my fertility and you expect me to keep calm? You can get any woman pregnant at any time you wish but I can never get pregnant again do you know how heart breaking is that,I'm just twenty one for Allah's sake!"I yelled and started crying

Ibrahim was really pissing me up and he isn't helping matters at all,how dare him play with my feelings like that asking me to be patient aren't I being patient enough,I have been patient for as long as I can remember and I don't think I'm ready to go on this road with him anymore

"We are getting divorced"I said and he shot me a look

"You're joking right?"he asked

"Do I look like a joker to you,Ibrahim I'm tired of this meaningless marriage and I need to set my life right I can't continue living like this"I said and he came forward to hug me

"Don't leave me please you're the only one keeping my sanity,I promise to make everything right soon I promise"he said soothingly and I broke into more tears crying in his arms

I'm so tired of everything going on and my life have changed drastically from good to worst and I can't do anything about it,my life is not in my hands to make decisions and here I am again falling into Ibrahim's failed promises