By the time I finally managed to find Rooftop again, hours had passed, my stomach was furious, and I was terrified.

Raids only lasted an hour or two, three at most. I had left fairly early in the morning and now it was well past noon. Nik and Sarah would be panicking - Charlie would, too, if he understood what was going on.

Dammit, Evie. This is all your fault.

But I knew that wasn't completely true. I had been the one to seek her out, to scare her off. And then I had been the one to pursue her when she ran, getting myself lost in the process.

I wasted no time in returning to my apartment. Not even giving myself time to think of a cover story, I leaped through the window and stopped short at the sight of Nik pacing back and forth across the floor, deep in troubled thought. When he saw me, his eyes widened and he hurried over to me. "Claire," he breathed, wrapping me in a tight hug.

I sighed. "Nik, I am so - "

"I was so worried," he murmured brokenly.

"I know. I'm sorry," I replied.

"Sorry doesn't really cover it. Where were you?" he demanded, stepping back and crossing his arms unforgivingly.

"I told you," I tried lamely. "A raid."

"Cut the crap. Where were you - really?"

Don't tell him. It will only make things worse.

I closed my eyes. "I...I lied. About Mouse. She did help me get information on the Gambler."

And I told Nik everything.

Once I was finished, he stared at me in silence for a long moment, until I began to fidget uncomfortably.

Finally, he spoke.

"How could you?" His voice was quiet, low and venomous. The three simple words held so much hate, each one more painful than the last.

"Nik - I - I - " I floundered, helpless.

"You were going to rig the Life Lottery and then just...leave? With Charlie? You were going to just disappear without ever telling me why?"

"I was - I was going to tell you...later," I defended myself lamely.

"Oh, sure," Nik retorted sarcastically. "Claire, you were going to abandon me. After all we've been through. After everything you know."

I knew exactly what he was referring to: our heart-to-heart in that alleyway seven years ago.

"You, Charlie, and Sarah are my only family," Nik reminded me. "If you and Charlie left - " His voice cracked and he halted abruptly. I was horrified to see tears sparkling in his eyes.

"Nik - "

"I need to take a walk," he muttered angrily, shoving his way past me and climbing out of the window.

"Nik, wait - "

But he was gone.

My lip quivered as my own tears rose. They began to spill and I let out a choked sob, falling to the floor and pressing the palms of my hands into my eyes.

I only let myself show weakness for a few minutes, however. Then I stood and resolutely cleaned off my face with the sleeve of my hoodie.

Nik will calm down. He always does.

But I couldn't recall a time we had had such an argument. Never, if memory served.

Let him cool off, the rational side of me reasoned. He'll be back. In the meantime, I needed to fabricate a story for anyone who Nik had recruited to search for me.

*

Everyone but Sarah believed my lie that in looking for a suitable apartment to raid, I had gotten turned around and tried to travel home in the wrong direction. She required some hasty, improvisational lying, but was eventually convinced.

"And Nik was so angry that he just...ran off?" she asked as I tested the faucets and grimaced in partial triumph at the thin trickle of water.

I nodded, not wanting to think about what would happen when Nik returned. he would doubtless want to tell his girlfriend about my meetings with Evie.

What have I done?

*

That night, Nik still wasn't home. I felt a tiny tendril of worry beginning to twist in my stomach.

Maybe he's sleeping over at a friend's.

I didn't ask around, for fear of what the answer would be.

"Where's Nik?" Charlie innocently asked as he snuggled into my side on the couch, his three books piled in my lap.

"He'll be back soon," I assured him, avoiding the actual question. "Now, what are we reading tonight?"

Later, when I had washed up as best I could with our limited water supply, I lay next to Charlie on the couch, wide awake and staring at the ceiling, where a small stain from food or something similar marred the surface.

Oddly, a book I had read ages ago in school came to mind. It had been an ancient novel, one of the few preserved after the third world war and one of the fewer available to the public, as the Order had later revealed. In the story, there had been a water stain on a little girl's bedroom ceiling just like mine - except hers was caused by a leak in her roof that let the rain in.

Part of me wondered what it would be like to feel the rain, but then I reminded myself that it was painful, each raindrop like icy needles. Well, supposedly. If nothing else, Horizon's dome protected us from anything but the best weather.

With the irrational daydream of rain, I finally found sleep.

*

"Nik still isn't back?" Sarah asked incredulously as she padded out of the hallway. Her voice was tinged with sleepy irritation.

I shook my head. "I really thought he'd be over it by now..."

"Are you sure you didn't say something really bad?" Sarah asked carefully. "When you argued?"

Guilt tore at me. I shook my head slowly.

"Okay." Sarah sighed, the end of the sound turning into a small growl of frustration. Before I could console her, however, she whirled around and hurried back down the hallway.

Charlie's head peeked over the back of the couch, expression bleary. "Huh?"

I took a deep breath. "Go get us breakfast, Char."