Chapter 3

    I sighed shakily, staring down at my tremblings hands. My hands were held by Seth and Ava, my purse, which I'd dropped five times, secured on Lacey's arms. They were going to be here for me when we found out, all of them. Seth opened the door to the OBGYN, gesturing for me to walk in first and I paused. I couldn't do this. It was almost better not knowing than knowing. I'd be a single mother if I was pregnant - I may even consider adoption, since I didn't have that good of a job. I only had a year left of college though - I could probably do it.

I sighed. No use worrying until I know for sure.

With that thought in mind I entered, the air turning from the outdoorsy smell to that of perfume. I couldn't place the smell; maybe cucumbers or flowers or a pungent mixture of both but it sent my breakfast rising faster than I could blink. I covered my mouth, swallowing down the bile and continuing forward towards the desk.

"Hello, how may I help you?" The woman sat at the desk greeted, a bright smile on her face. I frowned, feeling completely opposite how she felt and wanting to show it. Still, her smile didn't falter and I considered that maybe she'd painted it on.

"Hi, I have a ten o'clock appointment."

"Name?"

I swallowed nervously. "Elena Webber."

The woman nodded, turning towards her computer and typing. The sound of her keyboard keys being pressed in rapid succession sounded and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as she didn't have to look at the keyboard once. Ava, Lacey and Seth were stood awkwardly at my side but I appreciated the silent security. I knew they were here for me. The keys stopped and I looked up to see the woman peering at me curiously. "Date of birth?"

I almost scoffed at the judgement in her eyes. Sure I was young, but this wasn't exactly my plan either, lady. "March 12th, 1997."

The woman slowly nodded, the judgment not leaving her eyes as she continued to type. "Age twenty two?"

This time I did scoff. "Good job, you can do math."

Seth and Lacey chuckled while Ava pinched my arm. The lady smiled wryly, clacking a few more keys before scooting her computer chair towards the printer. She grabbed the papers, coming back to her desk and stapling them in the corner. She opened the clipboard in front of her, snapping the papers on them noisily and passing me the clipboard along with a pen. "Fill this out, the doctor will collect it when you're called back."

"Can my friends come back with me?"

She shrugged, turning her attention back to the computer in front of her. I sighed, taking the clipboard wordlessly and heading towards the chairs in the far back corner. I was embarrassed to be here and my friends knew it. I shouldn't be, if I was... pregnant, I was creating a life and that was hardly something to be embarrassed about. Still, I couldn't help but remember the judgment in the receptionists eyes. It was the same judgment I'd received when I was pregnant with Angel.

I scrawled my answers on the papers messily, answering boring questions I didn't think mattered. What was my address? Full name? Phone number? Date of last period? I frowned at that one. Did they want my social security number too?

I'd been so upset about Angel, I couldn't even remember filling out this pointless paperwork once before. When I came to the last questions, my breath caught in my throat and I had to remember how to breathe. My friends noticed the look on my face and peeked over to see the questions that had physically made me go pale.

Number of pregnancies? Number of live births?

I felt tears well in my ears as Ava snatched the clipboard from me and the pen. I watched numbly as she wrote one for the first question, and zero for the second. It was almost as if I wasn't in my own body watching her scribble the answers down, grumbling to herself. "How stupid to ask."

"It's important, Av," Lacey murmured sadly, rubbing my knee comfortingly.

I nodded, feeling choked. "Yeah, it is. Probably increases risk of another one."

"I doubt it," Ava mumbled scoffing.

I looked around at the others waiting, smiling softly to myself. A little boy and little girl sat with their parents, their mom very obviously pregnant and I longed to have that stability in my life. Why had my life gotten so messed up? I'd never have the white picket fence family with a dad and a mom, even if I wasn't currently pregnant. The reminder that I'd have a baby with a different father that I'd never get to meet would forever be in my mind. I'd never forget that, and I'd never have more kids with Henry.

On the other side of the waiting room sat a mom holding her stomach lovingly and I wondered if she was a single mom. She looked happy, content even and I wished I felt like that. Then I let myself wander over to another couple, huddled together and cooing at ultrasound pictures together. I felt tears in my eyes but stopped myself as I imagined an outsider looking in at my group. I wasn't alone - I had three people who would always be there for me, and that was a blessing in itself. Some people didn't even have friends to count on and I realized I should be counting my blessings.

And then the door to the back opened.

A woman stepped out dressed in purple scrubs and adorning a smile. She didn't look much older than me. "Elena Webber?"

I stood up, Ava, Seth and Lacey following my lead and together we walked to the door. I ignored the eyes on me and asked the woman if my friends could come back with me, to which she replied, "Of course!"

She led me to a little room where she sat and got my temperature, weight and blood pressure and took the paper from Ava's hands. She asked if I filled it out on my own and I nodded, before Ava filled in my silence. "She, uh- it was hard for her to answer the last two."

A knowing look crossed her face, then a pitying smile. I hated it. "I understand. I'll just get you to give a urine sample and lead your friends to your room. Look for the blue flag out at the door, that's your room."

I nodded softly, taking the cup she handed to me and walking into the bathroom. After peeing in the cup and placing it in the metal contraption in the bathroom like she'd instructed, I washed my hands and headed towards the door she'd pointed out. I went in, sitting on the bed and looking around at my friends who were all sharing worried looks. I was more worried than they were, guaranteed.

After a few silent minutes there was a soft knock on the door. A man walked in this time with a salt and pepper scruff of a beard and grey hair. His eyes were kind as he smiled, looking around the room before looking back at me. "Elena?"

I nodded, and he continued. "So I tested your urine, and you are in fact pregnant. If you've got the time, I'd like to do a transvaginal ultrasound, or what's commonly known as a dating scan, to see how far along you are and if the pregnancy is viable."

I paled at his words as they rang in my head. If the pregnancy is viable.

If the pregnancy is viable.

Pregnancy. Viable.

A flashback came to my mind before I could stop it.

"I'm so sorry, Elena," the woman in the lab coat murmured as I stared at the screen. My baby wasn't there. My baby had just been here two days ago. All I saw was blurriness now.

"But..." I mumbled, my voice shaky. I moved uneasily, my legs cramping from the stirrups but I refused to move them. "No, the baby was there, I saw it."

She nodded sadly. "And the baby was measuring a week behind. All this heavy bleeding and cramping you've been having, you've probably already passed the fetus."

"Baby," I corrected her angrily, hot tears streaming down my face.

"Baby," she corrected, sighing. "All that's left is clots and tissue. You'll be able to pass this on your own. I'm sorry, but the pregnancy wasn't viable. I thought it was since we heard the heartbeat a couple days ago, but I suppose your baby just wanted to wait to let you meet them before they left.

A sob escaped, followed by many more sobs, and when I finally got up all I saw was blood on the floor.

I felt my shoulder shaking and realized I was being talked to as I snapped out of the flashback. "Huh?"

"Can you undress from the waist down? Your HCG is high for someone who says their last menstrual cycle was a couple days ago, so I want to check everything out and make sure you're okay. If you are pregnant, I need to get a dating scan and see if the baby is viable because Ava here just told me you had sex almost four months ago. If it isn't a viable baby, we've not got long to extract it before it harms or kills you."

Extract my baby?

I nodded silently, watching as he exited the room. He left a sheet for me to place over myself and I did before pulling my pants and underwear off and setting them beside the bed. My friends were talking amongst themselves but I was in my own little world until the doctor came back in after knocking. He sat down in his chair by the ultrasound machine, grabbing one of the wands before humming to himself. He asked me to lay down and I did.

"Four months you say?" He asked mindlessly, waving the wand in thought.

Ava nodded. "Just about, Doctor Carter."

Hm. I hadn't even heard him say his name. Maybe it was during my flashback. Doctor Carter nodded, switching out the wand with the condom on it for the other one. He lifted up my shirt and I stared at him in confusion. When I'd been pregnant before, my ultrasound was with the other wand. He saw my confusion and explained.

"This wand is for after about twelve weeks, sometimes later. I wanted to try with it first, because the vaginal ultrasound is more invasive."

I nodded. Made sense, since I miscarried Angel at nine weeks.

"You're going to feel some cold gel," he mumbled before squirting the gel on my stomach. I tensed momentarily before relaxing and looking over at my friends who were staring at the screen in the room. I tore my nervous gaze from them, forcing myself to look at the screen as the doctor put the wand on my stomach.

And then, a sign of life in the form of a grey and white image of a baby popped on the screen. Lacey, Seth and Ava gasped simultaneously.

"Oh yeah," Doctor Carter mumbled, moving the wand around my stomach. "Definitely pregnant. Why did you say you had a period a few days ago?"

"I did," I told him earnestly, not breaking my eyes from the being on the screen.

He nodded, moving the wand around and typing some things with his free hand. "Well, it's physically impossible to get a period pregnant. But it is possible to bleed during when you'd usually get your menstrual cycle. Rare, but possible; It's the reason many women don't realize they're pregnant."

I stayed silent as I watched for a sign of movement from the baby. I felt guilty for wishing I wasn't pregnant when I saw it, but pushed the feeling away temporarily. I hadn't seen it move yet. The doctor paused, zooming in the screen so I could see something. Small, but definitely there, was a flickering light. I smiled at the familiarity, I knew what this was. "That's the heartbeat."

"Wow," Seth mumbled to himself, wide-eyed.

The doctor took some measurements, nodding to himself. "You're about fourteen weeks pregnant, Elena."

"Is it a girl or a boy?" Seth asked in amazement. Lacey hit his shoulder.

Doctor Carter chuckled. "It's too early to tell that. I can give Elena a scan in about four weeks and tell you, if she'd like to know."

I frowned to myself. "I'm not sure if I do or not."

"Well, I need to see you back in four weeks anyway just to make sure everything is progressing as it should. Should you decide you don't want to know the gender, I can refrain from telling you just let me know ahead of time. Your estimated due date is June 12th, 2020."

I smiled softly, nodding and mentally noting it. He told me congratulations before telling me to stop by the front desk on my way out, handed me something, and made his way out. I looked down at my hands, seeing a print out of the black and white ultrasound of my baby. My baby.

"I'm so excited!" Lacey squealed, clapping her hands in excitement.

"We're going to be Aunt's!" Ava exclaimed, and I tried to ignore the pang of hurt that she didn't really count Angel. No one ever did except me.

"His name will be Seth Jr," Seth proclaimed proudly.

I tuned my friends out as they argued over names and the gender of the baby. My stomach was clenched painfully tight as I stared at the ultrasound in my hand, mindlessly touching my stomach softly. I was nervous, scared, excited and anxious all wrapped up into one; I didn't know how to feel. There was one thing I did know, though.

Jaxon Cohen couldn't find out about this.