Chapter 2

    "You need to go to the doctor."

"Leave me alone," I grumbled moodily as I continued to scrub at the table. Ava and I worked together at the pizza place a couple blocks from school to help with our expenses and she'd been trying to catch me alone since that test gave me a false positive.

"It's been a week, El. You've got options-"

I snapped my gaze up to Ava, watching as she untied and retied her smock with nerves. "There's no options when nothing's happening, Ava."

I ignored her frown, continuing to scrub the table. The last family who'd been here had ordered the messiest pizza in existence - all meat with extra meat, and their toddler had decided to smash every kind of meat on their slice into the table. I'd went over this table four times over and still hadn't gotten the caked pieces of sausage and bacon.

This is why I couldn't be pregnant. I didn't like kids - they were annoying, moody, and smelled. I'd done my research and having a child was expensive - much more than I could ever afford. So, I chalked it up to a false positive and went about my merry way. Apparently that wasn't enough for my suffocating friends, though - they were one hundred percent sure that I was actually with child.

"El, seriously. There's adoption, abortion-"

"If I was... pregnant, I'd never get an abortion," I snapped, flicking her off behind my back. I didn't have anything against abortion, of course - I was completely with the notion that it was your child and your choice. I could never personally have an abortion, though - not when I'd previously miscarried a child.

I felt myself stop short as I thought about how I'd miscarried my child. I was completely frozen in place, flashbacks of that day flickering through my mind like a movie. I'd gotten pregnant by my last boyfriend, and we weren't ecstatic but we were going to make it work. We had plans, great plans for that baby and we were going to be a family. The day I started spotting would turn out to be the worst day of my life.

I'd gone for the sonogram, nervous to see why I was bleeding but excited at the prospect of seeing my baby. I was only nine weeks, so it was my first one. My boyfriend at the time, Henry, couldn't go because he had a hundred classes that day so I went by myself. I saw the baby, I saw and heard the heartbeat and it was the best day of my life.

Until it wasn't.

I felt tears running down my face before I could stop them and hastily swiped at them, throwing the rag in the water bucket and walking away from the table. I felt arms wrap around me and sunk into the familiar embrace of my best friend. She was one of only six people to know about the pregnancy - the other three being Lacey, Seth, my mom, my brother Timmy and Henry. He never told anyone, presumably for fear of public ridicule or the reaction of our peers, and I never told anyone but those that really needed to know.

I told my mom everything, she was my saving grace all my life and though she'd been disappointed in me, she mourned the loss of the baby with me. Timmy only found out because he was the one that went to college with us and he cornered me one day, demanding to know why I couldn't stop crying over the course of two weeks. I finally gave in and told him, and he too was upset - I heard he didn't go to three straight practices and completely neglected his football buddies until they forced him to hang out.

Lacey, Ava and Seth were the three friends I knew I could count on, so they were told as soon as I  got pregnant. They were three of the four to know before I lost the baby, and were so excited to go through the journey with me. They were my shoulders to cry on considering Henry couldn't have been bothered. When he found out I lost the baby, he blamed me and resented me for it. I couldn't have helped it, it wasn't my fault - but he sure made me feel like it was.

The physical pain lasted about two weeks, since I passed the baby myself, but the emotional pain would last a lifetime. That was probably one of the reasons I refused to believe it was a true positive test. I didn't want to go through the heartache of looking at sonograms, getting attached and losing another baby. Another reason I didn't want it to be true was not only was I just a college senior, but I only worked at a pizza place for crying out loud - part time at that. The most important reason, though, would of course be the fact that the only person that could have possibly impregnated me was the person I hardly ever saw and disliked with every fiber of my being.

"It's okay, El," Ava whispered in my ear as I broke down in her arms. The comforting embrace of my best friend would always be my security blanket when times were tough, and truthfully though we'd only been friends for four years, it felt like a lifetime. She was there for me through all of my trials and tribulations and I would have given up if not for her. Since I'd lost the baby a little over a year ago, she'd been my shoulder to cry on and I couldn't be more thankful. "Thinking about Angel?"

I cried harder at the name, sinking my head into the crook of her neck. Thankfully we currently had no customers or I'd feel like an idiot for breaking down in the middle of Antonio's. We'd cried together about Angel, and sometimes we still did. Angel was what I named the baby, since I'd never gotten to find out if it was a boy or girl - but I had a feeling it was a boy. I nodded softly at her question and sighed softly as she tightened her arms around me. "It's alright, El. They're in a better place."

I shook my head, frowning and choking out my next words. "They're not. They should be here with their mommy, not away from me."

"They're in heaven."

I sighed shakily, bobbing my head side to side and throwing my view skywards. "You know I don't believe in that."

The bell to Antonio's rang out, signaling someone had walked through the door so I withdrew from Ava's hug hastily. I turned, not even sparing a glance at who'd come in and went behind the counter. I heard many voices and curiosity got the best of me, so I looked up. My breath caught in my throat as I saw the familiar group of guys pushing three tables together so they could sit together.

This is just what I need right now.

Jaxon looked up, catching my gaze but his smile fell rather quickly. He made a move to get up from the table but I shot to the kitchen, effectively going out of eye sight. We hadn't talked about that night, and truthfully we'd said maybe five words in passing since. We weren't friends, he was just friends with my brother whom I wasn't even that close with. Tim would always be there for me and had my back through everything, but we weren't that close. He was a year older than me and the only reason we were even both in senior year is because he took a year off college to pursue his pipe dreams of getting into the NFL. When the idiot realized he'd have to play college ball first, he chose the college I did because it'd be easy to copy off me.

He was protective if someone hurt me, but that was the extent. He wasn't overprotective by any far means and barely spared the guys I hung out with - or dated, a glance. I heard a soft knock on the kitchen door and exchanged a look with the cook before sauntering over slowly. When I opened it there stood Timmy, a frown etched onto his face and his eyes clouded with concern. He pulled me into a hug immediately upon seeing my face and I knew it must have been obvious I'd been crying.

"Angel?"

I nodded sadly, breathing slowly. "I just miss them, that's all. Something reminded me of them, and I-"

"What reminded you of losing your baby?"

I froze, looking up into the green eyes that matched mine before widening my own. I hadn't thought that through. I couldn't tell Timmy I might be pregnant. Not only would he be completely disappointed in me because I was single, but he wouldn't stop until he found out who'd gotten me pregnant. If he found out it was Jax, he'd go ballistic. He was always so proud of me for being the only one to resist Jax's charms.

I mulled over the possible lies I could tell. It seemed as if I'd been lying a lot since getting involved with Jax, which only proved him to be bad for me. I couldn't be pregnant with his child. Timmy's features showed his impatience and I clenched my jaw in thought before I came up with the first thing I could think of. "We had a customer with a daughter, t-they uh, they called her Angel."

He nodded sadly, obviously buying the lie. That was one of the good things about not having lied all your life - people believed you when you did. I didn't want to be known as a liar, though. My father was a liar and I'd never wanted to be like him. We'd been raised to never lie, to always tell the truth and up until getting it on with Jax at that party we always had. We would even tell on ourselves when we did something bad as children. One time, when I was ten I'd wanted McDonald's so bad I took my mom's car while she was sleeping. Timmy being the big brother demanded he come with me and that he'd use his piggy bank money to pay. I actually drove it all the way there, impressively, only to be stopped by the worker at the window. Our mom pulled up with the police and immediately blamed Timmy, but I'd taken full responsibility, like always..

Timmy told me I needed to come out, that his friends wanted to say hi to me so I put on my proverbial big girl panties and walked out of the kitchen with my head held high. I couldn't show that anything was wrong - none of these people knew about Angel, and hopefully none of them ever would. And if I was pregnant, none of them would know about that, either - not if I had anything to do with it.

"Hey Elena!" Yuki, one of my brothers friends called as I walked over to get their order. Ava was struggling with the soda machine at the moment - soda was spraying every which way but down, so she was a little preoccupied. "Long time no see."

"Not since that party," Troy commented with a wink, earning a slap to the back of the head from Timmy and causing Jax to stiffen in his seat. I physically saw him freeze and I was surprised no one else picked it up.

But they were guys, after all.

"What can I get you guys?"

"You," Quay murmured with a smirk, also earning a slap from Timmy.

"Food," I corrected, earning knowing smirks throughout the table. When I caught the sexual innuendo behind their smirks, I groaned. "God, seriously order something."

"Five large meat pizzas and one large cheese," Timmy told me through a heated glare towards his friends. I nodded, jotting it down even though I could remember it because if my boss reviewed the cameras and saw me not write something down he'd have my ass.

I turned to walk away, but Quay stopped me in my track with his annoying voice. "Where's my service with a smile, Elena?"

I glanced over towards him to see he was pointing to the napkin holder, which said the words 'Service with a smile' and a stupid smiling emoji. He loved to point it out every time they came, but I especially didn't feel like smiling today. Still, I rearranged my frown to muster a smile, as much as I could, before turning on my heel and walking towards the kitchen. I handed the paper over to the cook, before the urge to vomit from the smell grew too great and I ran to the employee bathroom.

After throwing up - which I'd been doing on and off for the past week - I felt a hand gently lay itself on my arm.

I looked over to see Ava standing there with a concerned but knowing gaze, and I frowned. "Want me to call different doctors?"

I sighed, nodding my head slightly. "I guess."