(Side note: i am sorry. But, you can listen to music boxes like

To the moon-everything's alright (music box) Cantarella  (music box) the lost ones weeping (music box) ano nastu he (music box) come out and play (music box) come little children (music box) kimi no na wa ost- yumetourou (music box) sing me to sleep (music box) thechords7- deep sea girl (music box) dear (music box) i say yes (music box)

Once you listen to one of those, remind yourself, that she is listening to it as well, you may not be together, you never spoke, you never saw eachother, yet you will hear the same music that fills her ear with glimpses of hope. You will be connected.

Once you listen to one of those,

You are listening to her heart.

And whenever youre crying, just play everything's alright, because whenever she cries everyday, she listens to it. You have no clue how much it pains her she isn't there when you need her. Just always remember,

She loves you.
Unconditionally. For all eternity.
And she swore to the gods that shell never stop. Never