There has been a plenty times when I wanted to shout at you that how much I love you, how much you have hurt me. how much i remorse to let you tramp my heart under your feet again and again.

But I couldn't, I was so afraid, you would get hurt, that I kept hurting myself  until i became bold enough to hurt you. To tell you that I don't want to be hurt anymore.

I wont say that, That was the last day of my pain, but yes it was my first day of recovery, my healing.

The things I couldn't say to you remained locked in my google drafts and notepad because I wanted to tell someone, even if it's just a digital screen. Now you would think , why not my best friends whom I so much boast about being them understanding. Because their patience has also exhausted after the countless times they tried to tell me that you don't deserve me. And I'm afraid to listen their " I told you so!"

So here I am with my bleeding pen staining the white papers of this screen , etching each word taken from my heart. I'm glad it's a digital platform or the words in my letters would be smudged just below the level of my eyes.

But it felt good. You should also try it sometimes, because now, You don't have me, to vent your anger and frustration. This method might come handy.