Our local hole-in-the-wall diner is a staple here on campus. Simply named Jimbo's Diner, they serve the best burgers, fries and milkshakes, as well as breakfast all day.

One of Jimbo's highlights is that they're open 24-hours. Perfect for late night munchies, 2am drunk greasy binges, or early morning risers.

Today we were in the latter category. I'm not generally a super early morning person, I'd classify myself as pretty average. However, Wren bust into my room at the ass crack of dawn this morning, sinfully refreshed with a hunger only pancakes could satisfy.

Why she didn't wake Aster up instead is a great question.

If I had to guess it's a combination of knowing I was probably only half asleep since I don't sleep that well to begin with, and also just the general audacity of this bitch.

She's bold and sometimes crazy, but she's also an amazing friend who, even after meeting Aster, makes sure she has time for me still too. She didn't just cast me aside like a used matchstick like she could've— the way others have.

We've been best friends since high school, only because she decided we would be. It was very one sided at first. I had no friends, I didn't fit in. I didn't trust myself, nor did anyone trust me. Except Wren. She plopped right down next to me a week into freshman year, stickers on her notebook, purple pen in hand, rainbows braided in her hair. Loud and bright and exactly what I didn't want. When I tried to ignore her or push her away she'd just waggle that finger at me and say she wasn't going anywhere. Years later she finally told me that my emotions had stood out like lightning in a storm cloud. She had picked up on my turmoil: my jealousy of other peoples friendships and weaving abilities. My want for companionship, but also my hesitation and fear keeping me back.

For several years she was only friend. She stuck with me even when she saw me struggle to control my weaving, leaving charred paper and burnt fabric in my wake. She could see the other students alienate me, even watched my mother yell at me or just plain ignore me with disdain. She knew why I needed my space, could read me even when I tried to hide it away. But while I've opened up more over the years there's still a thin wall around me that even she hasn't quite broken down.

I've tried enough forms of meditations, self reflections — yes, even crystal healings— to know that I'm flawed. I've hurt people. I've been reminded time and again of my destructive potential, and I decided long ago to put that wall in place and keep it there.

By the time we met Jasper our senior year of high school, I had come to terms with myself. I've been content since then to finally have friends who aren't afraid of me, while keeping them at a literal arms length. They both understand me better than most, especially Wren and her knack for gripping my feelings better than even I do, but there's still that deep, innate, potential part of me that looms there. I could never forgive myself if I hurt either of them. So the wall stays up, even if it's been beaten and thinned by years of Wren's patience.

She's my best friend by choice now. Her once annoyingly persistent personality now comforting. Her once peeving prying into my own life and head now a knowing bond.

I've tried to make up for lost time with Wren; she doesn't resent me for pushing her away those first few years, but I'm grateful for her steady friendship. I know she cares about me, as I do her. She can still be a bit overbearing at times but that's what makes her her, and I know it's well intentioned.

So when she busts into my room at 5am with the audacity of a freight train, wanting to spend time with me and just chat and eat— I don't say no. Even if it was extremely tempting to throw a pillow at her face instead since I still hadn't entirely recovered from the night before.

"I shaw you two exchangch numberch last night!"  she comments, immediately after receiving her double stack of blueberry pancakes and stuffing a humongous bite in her mouth.

"Don't talk with your mouth full, you heathen."

"Don't avoid the subject, Aideebear."

She munches on another bite, syrup glistening on her bubblegum pink lips. The bright color is mocking me in this early hour.

I was kind of hoping she hadn't actually seen that last night, or wouldn't ask about it... but I also know how meddlesome she is.

We all went straight to bed last night after our shift, and the last thing I remember was my phone buzzing with a text:

Kal: Night Hotstuff, text me if you need me 😉

It was the first and only text from him, since we had just exchanged numbers about an hour beforehand. I didn't even get a chance to text him back before passing out. And then this morning I wasn't really sure what to say, or if it was too awkwardly late to say anything at all... it's not like I could wish him a goodnight back the next morning. So I just didn't respond and left it alone.

I eat some of my bacon to give me time to think on how to respond. She watches me patiently, but she has that you better tell me what happened between you guys face on.

I need to get it off my chest anyway... maybe talking about it will help me process it better. So I tell her about last night in the cafe, about Kal's idea, about the deal he wants to make, and about his text.

I may have glossed over telling her about his hands on my forehead and chest, may have left out the details regarding how amazing that felt. How for once, I felt almost normal.

"K, first of all, you should've texted him back. A good morning text, a how'd you sleep text, even just an acknowledgment like a thumbs up would've been fine... don't overthink it." She rolls her eyes. "Second, go for it dude!"

"Go for it? That's your advice? Go for what exactly?"

She points her fork at me, jabbing the air. "Whatever you want it to be! It's not everyday you get an opportunity like this! A weaver with an ice affinity just happens to drop into your life— an extremely attractive one, who you get along with well, right? You guys definitely have some kind of chemistry, I could feel it. I think you guys should hook up, it would be one hell of a pairing."

"Let me think about tha— No."

"And why not, everything I said was true right?"

"I mean, I guess... I'm not blind, he is super attractive. And yes we get along well. But no. I'm just not interested in him like that, you know how my last few relationships have gone. It never ends well."

"Honey, I get it. Guys don't interest me either, women just rub me the right way." She throws me a wink and I can't help but crack a smile at that. "Listen, in all seriousness, if your not interested in him that way it's totally understandable. That's why I said to go for it in whatever way you want, I was merely throwing in a suggestion."

"Yeah I get what your saying... It's just a question of how comfortable I am letting it go further. I don't want to hurt him. It's not just a mental thing... When I overheat, I tend to hurt people. My flare ups in middle school, my girlfriend I burned in high school, the guy I almost burned last year, need I go on?"

"I don't blame you for being hesitant, I know you've hurt people in the past... but you've learned and grown a lot. And those people were idiots! They didn't even try to help you, they just made it worse and then ran away."

I avoid her gaze, and my clamped jaw starts to ache. We've had this conversation before, or at least similar ones.

"Aiden. I know you don't like when I tell you that, but I only say it because I love you and you need to hear it. Even if you don't believe me yet, one day it will start to sink in... Don't let your past blind you from what's in front of you."

I'm still staring intensely at my eggs, absently moving them around my half eaten plate. She's waiting for me to answer, so I sigh in acknowledgment, "I know..."

She pokes me square in the forehead. "It's because I do care about you, that I'm not running away, I'm trying to help instead. So take my advice when I say go. for. it." She pokes my head three more times, drilling in each word. "This arrangement is just as beneficial for him as it is for you: when he's cold you can help him warm up, and when your hot he can help you cool down. You guys balance each other. Its mutually beneficial, so you don't even have to feel bad about using him or something."

"I guess..."

"Kal's already said it's nearly impossible to burn him, so I say trust the guy. And honestly, worst case scenario, even if you do burnout he's way better equipped to handle it. He could probably put out your flames and help you down from the burning edge."

"Yeah..."

She pokes my forehead one more time and I bat at her.

"Yeah?" She asks.

"Yeah. Ok. I'll try."

"Good!" Satisfied, she chows down on her pancakes again.

Honestly, she's got a point. It's hard to deny that this could be a really good opportunity, and even though I'm still hesitant, I think I'm willing to at least try. Kal is easy to be around, I enjoy hanging out with him, so maybe this will be a good way to get to know him better too.

I think about Kal's confidence, and try to muster up some of my own.

I pull out my phone from my pocket and pull up Kal's text. If I'm going to try, I need to take a first step. I type out a message, the first thing that comes to me. Don't overthink it.

Aiden: Thanks, Elsa. I will. 👍

Sent.

I stare at the screen, step one complete.

A piece of food hits my chest, a chunk of potato from my home fries.

"Why are you smiling at your phone?" Wren asks with a mischievous glint. "Finally text Kal back?"

I glare at her, pick up another piece of potato, and throw it at her. It hits her smack in the center of her chest and falls down her shirt. Sweet revenge.

"I wasn't smiling."

"You definitely were, and— ew." She pulls the home fry out and drops it on the table. "Boobtato."

I cringe.

"Anyways," she continues, "you were. You're also shining with nervous excitement, so don't even try to deny it. Did you send a thumbs up? You did, didn't you? Gods, help you."

"Shut up."

I don't deny it, because she's right. Somehow I am excited. And nervous. But still excited.

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[A/N]
Ooh backround stuff... maybe it's easier to see why Aiden tends to be more pessimistic now.

Also wanted to highlight Aiden and Wrens relationship a bit. I'm a firm believer that there's many forms of love, and having a solid friend you can count on is definitely one of them. 😊