Lilith: "Greetings one and all! Welcome to another episode of the Great Demonic Cooking Show! I'm your host Lilith, along with my co host, Luci. We started with twelve of the nation's greatest chefs, cooking their finest delicacies for our celebrity judges Beelzebub and Belphegor. Twelve fantastic chefs put onto the chopping block until one emerged victorious!"

Lucifer: "And with all his fingers intact, sadly."

Lilith: "I know, we had so many wagers. I lost 20 quid to that putz Satan. Anyway, that was six seasons ago.

Lucifer: "This season we combed through the ravaged countryside and greater demonic utopia to find ten fantastic amatuer cooks!"

Lilith: "Ten? I thought we had twelve?"

Lucifer: "There was an incident with a hellhound and some raw bacon. Ten! Ten amatuer cooks, and after three episodes under the cleaver, we have whittled down our contestants to four remaining semi finalists."

Lilith: "After last week's astounding upset, poor Tommy Grinder was placed on the chopping block after his dish failed to wow the judges."

Lucifer: "Really should have gone through the trouble of sifting those toenails out of the stew. Nothing so gauche as biting into a tender piece of meat and meeting gnarly cartilage."

Lilith: "To be fair, those toes were thoroughly scrubbed."

Lucifer: "Shame really. This week, our remaining four contestants must pick their choice cuts and impress the judges with a dish prepared to this week's theme, braising!"

Lilith: Just look at them creep into the tent, Luci, I think their spirits are thoroughly broken.

Lucifer: "Well let's hope their cooking skills are still intact. Today's task finds our finalists Steve, Annie, Marcus, and Bean--really Bean? Who the hell names their kid Bean?"

Lilith: "It was a dark age before our great demonic overlords began their reign."

Lucifer: "And Bean, Beanie Boy, Bean over there must cook for their lives. In just a few minutes, today's special ingredient shall be revealed and the contestants will pick their cuts for dish creation."

Lilith: And here are our judges now. Good morning Beebs, nice horn shine. Morning Belphegor, still a giant arse I see."

Belphegor: "You're under contract."

Lilith: "Belphegor, baby, have you lost weight? Ready to gorge on our contestants' offerings?"

Beelzebub: "Oh definitely. Braising is one of my favorite preparation techniques. I expect meat prepared to a melt in your mouth texture, that falls easily off the bone."

Belphegor: "The secret to a good braised dish is the sauce. I expect to be dazzled."

Lucifer: "Oh looks like Marcus fainted. Can someone prop the poor man up. Smelling salts? Anyone? There we go, cattle prod works just as well. Seems like a lot of pressure to live up to Belphie, hope our contestants live through-- I mean, up to the challenge."

Lilith: "And now our judges shall reveal this week's ingredient.--oh, Tommy Grinder. These Grinder cuts were expertly butchered by Hobgoblin Organic Meats. Look at the fine marbling on those cuts. I'm told Grinder hailed from one of the wealthier districts, under the Demonic Overlord of Avarice."

Lucifer: "Excellent base for our remaining contestants to build on. Annie, my love, if you are going to toss your cookies, please do so in the designated bin. Since you were star chef last week, you have first choice of cuts this week."

Belphegor: "Short ribs, a personal favorite. I do look forward to seeing what you bring to the table, Annie dear."

Lilith: Looks like shanks for Marcus, shoulder for Steve, and oooh, Bean is going adventurous. I see lots of organs and throw away cuts in his bin. Wonder what he plans to cook up for the judges today."

Beelzebub: "Bean's dishes are always very creative, with practically divine presentation, but he needs to nail his flavors if he wants to edge Steve or Marcus out of a spot in the finals."

Lucifer: "At this point you both seem to agree Annie, who is also a fan favorite, has a guaranteed spot in the finals?"

Beelzebub: "Her dishes are consistently spot on. That veal dish from week three was absolutely stunning."

Lilith: "I don't think the poor girl slept for weeks after."

Lucifer: "Well, Annie plans to prepare her short ribs with red wine and fresh rosemary from her own promise garden."

Lilith: "Fresh herbs? Smart girl. Beelze's a sucker for that extra effort."

Lucifer: "Steve is going for a very traditional dry rub on his shoulder cut, which might be a little too safe for this stage in the game."

Belphegor: "That dish must be cooked to perfection, the spices in the rub must be perfection if he wants to nab that spot in the finals."

Lilith: "Marcus is braising his shanks in a variation of ox tail soup, using caribbean inspired flavoring."

Beelzebub: "I do look forward to tasting that dish. Shanks have such a rich flavor when properly prepared and an ox tail soup inspired dish could be quite interesting."

Belphegor: "He best keep the brief in mind. We asked for a braised dish, not a soup or stew, that was last week. Marcus might be setting himself up for the block if he doesn't meet the requirements."

Lucifer: "What is ole Bean up to over there?"

Lilith: "Oooh looks like he is turning those throw away cuts and organs into a sort of substitute flank cut. Quite the interesting combination of spices he has going on his counter."

Beelzebub: "I do appreciate his economy is using those cuts. Some of the best cuts of meat come from what too many butcheries toss away."

Belphegor: "Did you note how he grabbed Grinder's head? Enough brass on those balls to clank when he walks."

Lucifer: "No doubt just desserts for Tommy's attempted sabotage of Bean last week, dropping that ghost pepper into his chili."

Beelzebub: "An unexpected delight in our case. I do love a bit of heat."

Lilith: "Don't we all? Ah, yes contestants you have half an hour left to finish braising and plating your dishes, half an hour left."

Beelzebub: "Look at them scramble. This is my favorite part, watching the hustle and bustle--"

Belphegor: "The fear."

Lilith: "Annie is looking a little woozy. I am just going to pop over for a spot check and see how she's faring."

Beelzebub: "Shame if she crashes this week. I would so miss sampling her dishes. Still, I do wonder what she'd taste like."

Belphegor: "Skilled cook, but low fear threshold, I doubt we get much more than economy cuts from her. Now someone like Bean or Marcus, who hail from the well fed demonic districts, much better fat to lean ratio."

Lucifer: "Ten minutes, that's ten minutes left on the clock to get your plates prepared."

Lilith: "Poor Annie, my love, she was all aflutter that her sauce wasn't rich enough. She also kept insisting Tommy's decapitated head kept turning to look at her from Bean's cutting board. Poor girl's hallucinating."

Lucifer: "Yes, hallucinating, that's it."

Lilith: "Oh, please tell me you didn't."

Lucifer: "Five minutes until your dishes must be on the block. Don't lose your heads!"

Lilith: "Poor taste, Luci, poor taste.

Lucifer: "It was all a bit of fun. I promise I didn't do anything drastic like shove the poor bloke's soul back in there."

Lilith: "Time! That's it! Please, put your dishes at the end of your benches! Stop fiddling Bean! I'm watching you."

Lucifer: "Annie would come bring up your dish?"

Beelzebub: Braised short ribs in red wine and rosemary infused sauce. The smell is incredible. Let's give it a taste."

Belphegor: "Look at that, meat just sloughs right off the bone and that sauce, magnifique. Tender as a newborn babe. Well done, Annie!"

Lilith: "Oh would you look at that, the Lord of Sloth's handshake. Do remember to wash up after that, Annie my love."

Belphegor: "You can be replaced with Coulter."

Lilith: "Marcus please bring your dish up to for the judges?"

Beelzebub: "I admit, I was worried when I heard your dish was inspired by a stew, but this sauce is thick and that caribbean inspired flavor is genius. Not too stew like at all, beautiful flavor, and perfect preparation."

Belphegor: "I didn't want to like this but well done. Excellent balance of spices. I can taste each one."

Lucifer: "Good show Marcus. Steve do you need help bringing your dish to the table? You seem to be shaking an awful lot."

Beelzebub: "I can guess why. This roast is overcooked. How you managed to dry out such a perfect cut of meat through braising is a baffling. Did you have your oven set to inferno?"

Belphegor: "How disappointing. To make such a rookie mistake in the semi-finals I can only assume the pressure may be getting to you."

Lilith: "Tough break Marcus. Bean would you bring up your offering for the judges."

Beelzebub: "Cuban steak from throw away cuts. How delightful."

Belphegor: Oh my devil, is this cheek meat? It melts like cream in your mouth. Did you try this, Beez?"

Beelzebub: "Sweet Satan's Beard, that is incredible. Well done, sir. You truly stepped up your game this week."

Lucifer: "A second handshake! This time from the Lord of Gluttony himself. If that doesn't spell a secure spot in the finals I don't know what does. Now our judges have some deliberating to do while our contestants chill in the cage."

Lilith: "Some great dishes this week. Who are you thinking for this week's star cook, which could be a huge advantage going into the finals next week?"

Beelzebub: "Annie's dish was excellent, as always, but I really think we need to put Bean up there as well. He really pulled out all the stops to impress and his risks really paid off with that Cuban inspired dish. Using cheek meat, damn, no one has had the balls to dig into a prior contestants skull for such prime meat. He's a boy after my own heart, you know, if I had one."

Lucifer: "Now, Marcus really wobbled this week. A real shame considering his past performances were so strong. Do you think he simply cracked under pressure."

Belphegor: "Quite possible. Of the four contestants, he was stood out for all the wrong reasons and he knows it. I think his spirit broke a couple weeks ago, and we are seeing the after effects now. I think he had a real connection with Meg, from week four, and having to prepare her in a meat pie must have been the tipping point."

Lilith: "So you've made a decision?"

Beelzebub: "Yes, I think we have."

Lucifer: "Hello again contestants. Another week come and gone. You all put in an excellent effort this week for our viewers at home. I have the pleasure of announcing this week's star cook, someone who takes risks, that has put him in danger of the block in the past but this week, his island inspired dishes proved he really is a good ole Bean. Congratulations sir, for earning a place in the finals."

Lilith: I have the pleasant and fun task of announcing who is on the block this week. As you know, we can't take you all with us every week. The feed bills would be horrendous. So it is with anticipation and glee, I must announce that the next contestant on the chopping block is ....Marcus. Tough break, buddy. Now if you could just take one step to your left. No tears, no tears, take it like a man, and pow!"

Lucifer: "Right in the forehead! Never let it be said your demonic overlords were merciful. Congrats you lot, on being our season finalists! Oh, Annie, love, no blubbering, you made it, you're a finalist. Don't worry, we'll have the crew bleach your shoes."

Beelzebub: "Everyone rest up for next week's final challenge, and uh, be sure to eat lots of rich food."

Lilith: Thank you all for tuning in for another episode of the Great Demonic Cooking Show! Do you have a human minion with excellent cooking skills you would like to showcase in our next season? Contact headquarters and you shall receive ample compensation for your human chattel. And until next time--"

Lucifer: "Stay oppressed humans!"