I awoke the next morning blissfully unaware of what had transpired the previous day.

Sunlight streamed in through the curtains and a slight breeze crept in through my partially open window. At the end of my bed, Goose lay curled up in a small ball, snoring away and no doubt dreaming about chasing the chickens. She didn't stir as I shifted a little in bed, pushing the blanket off my legs and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I stretched, staring at the ceiling.

For a few seconds, I was content with the knowledge that the previous day had never happened. Oblivious to the arrival of the telegram and what its contents might have been. If I had it my way, I would have stayed there, but as I started to wake up a little more, the events of the previous day came rushing back.

Even after having a night to sleep on it, I still refused to believe that the telegram was telling the truth about Mum. I had a clearer mind and it became obvious that the Germans never would have bombed a residential street; they would have gone for the docks or a Naval base. What would they have to gain from bombing a street? What would they achieve by killing an innocent person like Mum?

Whatever that telegram said, it was wrong.

I sat up and climbed off my bed, grabbing my slacks and blouse from the floor. When I grabbed my blouse, I noticed a slight shake in my hand but I clenched it into a fist and flexed it again, determining it to be a side effect of having stood up too quickly. Trying my best to ignore it, I dressed and ran a brush through my hair which had become matted on one side from where I had been sleeping. Before I went downstairs, I stepped into the bathroom and caught myself in the mirror.

My eyes were red, almost as if I had been crying but I didn't remember waking up in the night and I couldn't imagine why I would have been crying. Deciding I had most likely rubbed my eyes in the night, a habit from when I was younger, I splashed some water on my face and brushed my teeth. When I stepped out of my room, Goose stood outside the door staring at me with her tail wagging. I gave her a fuss behind the ears before climbing downstairs.

"Morning," I said, jumping off the last step into the living room. Jonathan, who had been sitting on the settee reading the newspaper, jumped.

"Morning, Sybil," he said, staring at me with wide eyes. "Your chores are already done."

"Even Juliet?"

Jonathan nodded. "Fed, watered, and raring to go."

"Oh. I thought Juliet was my responsibility."

"She is, but I thought you could have the morning off, just this once." He winked at me.

I nodded, still a little confused as to why Jonathan would take on my morning chores when he had been so adamant that looking after Juliet would be my responsibility. Why he would suddenly change his mind, I didn't know but I was glad to not be traipsing outside early in the morning, especially with the cold wind setting in.

Jonathan placed his newspaper onto the coffee table, sending a piece of paper across the top with the slightest gust of wind caused by the movement of the paper. At first, I didn't know what the other sheet of paper was, but it didn't take me long to realise that the paper was the telegram we had received the day before. I couldn't understand why Jonathan and Barbara would still have it, especially since it was nothing but a lie or a mistake. They should have thrown it out.

After catching me staring at it, Jonathan quickly tucked the telegram in between the sheets of his newspaper. He smiled at me, acting as if he had done nothing, before shuffling past me and heading into the kitchen where Barabara was finishing preparing breakfast. Once he was out of sight, I managed to grab hold of the edge of the telegram and pull it out of the newspaper, stuffing it into my pocket. Perhaps if I read it myself I would know the truth of what happened and why they had sent it.

I shuffled into the kitchen, breathing in the smell of eggs as Goose wound her way around my legs in search of some scraps off Barbara. Despite her reservations about having Goose, Barbara often gave Goose a few pieces of scrambled egg in the morning before we fed her. She had done it once and Goose had been in search of pieces of egg ever since.

"Good morning, Sybil," Barbara said when I took my seat at the table. She eyed me a little and out the corner of my eye, I saw Jonathan give a small shake of his head. The two of them appeared to be having a conversation without ever having to say a word.

"Morning."

"How did you sleep?"

"Fine, although I think Goose kicked me in the leg during the night."

"Maybe she should go back into her basket, she kicks you a lot."

"No, it's fine. I like having her on my bed."

"If you're sure." Barbara smiled and placed a plate of scrambled eggs in front of me. "What are your plans for today?"

I shrugged. "I don't know yet. Alec said he'd be here so we might just work with Juliet in the paddock."

"Sounds like fun," Jonathan said.

I looked between the two of them, somewhat confused that neither of them had even mentioned the telegram or what it said. Perhaps Alec had managed to convince them that I was right after all and they didn't want to mention it so as not to make a fool of themselves. Then again, they might not have mentioned it because they didn't want to upset me. I decided to go with the former of the two options; it made more sense.

We sat down to breakfast with Goose deciding to sit right next to my chair, her head resting on my thighs as she waited for me to drop something onto the floor. She was the only part of that morning that felt normal. Jonathan and Barbara kept exchanging glances with one another, having a silent conversation with their eyes. Every now and then, they would look at me as though expecting me to do something or expecting something to happen. They just kept watching me, staring at me as though I might break.

Trying my hardest to ignore them, I tucked into the eggs and hoped that Alec would hurry up so I didn't have to put up with the glances any longer. I knew Alec would still have an air of normalcy about him, well, as normal as Alec could be. He wouldn't look at me like I was fragile and I knew that he believed me about the telegram. He understood that it was all a mistake.

After breakfast, I moved into the living room and sat down on the sofa. I tried to ignore the rustling in my pocket and hoped that Jonathan hadn't heard it. He had hidden the telegram for a reason, and I knew he wouldn't be happy if he found out I had it, even if it was addressed to me. My hands still shook slightly, but I tried my best to ignore it and kept my hands pressed into my lap so no one else would see it. Jonathan and Barbara were already treating me differently, I knew how they would react if they saw the shaking.

A sharp knock at the door caught my attention and I jumped up from the sofa. Swinging open the front door, Alec stood in the doorway. His hair was a little dishevelled from the ride, his hands shoved into his pockets, and his shirt sleeves pushed up past his elbow.

"Finally. You took your time," I said.

"Someone has to deal with the chickens now." He shrugged. "Are you ready?"

"I just need to find my boots, they were here." I glanced down at the floor near the front door, trying to find my laced boots.

"They're by the back door," Jonathan said. "I cleaned them yesterday because they had mud all over them."

"Oh, right." I looked at Alec. "Give me a minute."

I left the front door open and manoeuvred my way through the living room and into the kitchen. The back door was just off to the side and opened up onto a small garden area where Barbara would hang the washing up. She was the only one who used the garden since it wasn't really big enough to play in and I wouldn't have been able to ride Juliet or Jigsaw out there.

My boots were sitting by the back door, the leather shining after having been scrubbed clean of weeks worth of mud and dust. I wrapped my fingers around the back of them and went to return to the living room, but a conversation happening just feet away from me caught my attention before I rounded the corner and into the main room. Rather than disturb the conversation, I remained in my little hiding spot and listened.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Barbara asked, anxiety lacing her voice. "It doesn't seem to be very healthy, acting like nothing is wrong."

"We don't have any other choice."

"If you keep pushing, Syb's just going to pull away. She has to come to the conclusion about what happened herself and that's going to take time. You can't force her to believe something like this, her ignoring it or pretending it didn't happen is just her way of coping," Alec said.

"And how do you know all this?"

"Mum did the same thing when my grandfather died. She pretended as if nothing had happened and Dad just let her until the grief caught up. It's just a way people cope with unexpected trauma."

Jonathan laughed a little. "I didn't know you could be so smart."

"Me neither."

All this time I thought he believed me. I thought he had been able to convince Jonathan and Barbara that I was right about the telegram and yet he was just humouring me. He told me he trusted me and yet it seemed more like he had decided to betray me, to tell me what I wanted to hear. I thought we were friends, more than friends, but it seemed like he was no better than the rest of them when it came to that telegram.

Alec had lied to me, manipulated me and for what? How could he not see that there was no grief behind my actions, only logic? He said he believed, he said he trusted me but he didn't. Instead, he had been on their side the entire time, believing something that was far from the truth. I didn't understand how no one else could see that the telegram was wrong, that it wasn't grief or anything else. It was the government making a mistake.

How could no one else see it?

After overhearing the conversation, I didn't want to spend any time with Alec and yet I couldn't ask him to leave without creating suspicion. I would have to suck up my feelings towards Alec and try to ignore what I had heard, although I knew that would be difficult. I didn't want to spend time with someone who lied to my face and wouldn't tell me the truth. How could I trust him to not lie to me again? I wanted to trust him, I did trust him, and he betrayed me. He betrayed me and I would never forgive him for that.

"Found them!" I said, rounding the conversation with my boots hanging from my fingertips.

"They weren't lost, Syb," Jonathan said, "just moved."

"Same thing."

I shrugged and moved to the settee, sitting down and pulling my boots on. I could feel everyone's eyes on me, watching me, judging me. It took everything in me not to turn around and yell at them, to tell them how I really feel about them and the lies they continued to push and believe in. Had I done that, I knew it would only make things worse for me and they probably wouldn't even let me leave the house if I said anything. I couldn't stand being inside all day.

"Shall we go?' I said to Alec, staring him down.

"Yes, I expect Duchess is getting antsy outside."

"I'll call you for lunch," Barbara said.

"Alright." I nodded at her.

Not wanting to be in the same room as them for much longer, I joined Alec outside and the two of us headed down the track towards the stables. He didn't say a word to me and I was glad about it.

I didn't think I had too much to say anyway, not to him.

~~~

A/N - We are back with Chapter Fifty-Four! Not many chapters left to go until the very end and the start of the sequel!

Questions! Do you think Sybil is deliberately avoiding the topic or is it the grief? Is Alec right to lie to her?

Comment below!

First Published - March 23rd, 2022