Naruto

The glass was cold against my skin as I stared out. It was dark, not pitch black but the sun had disappeared behind the horizon. The sky was shedding its lighter hues and the black was creeping over slowly. Slowly. It was all slow.

It was quiet inside the bus, thank Kami, with most passengers having fallen asleep after a hot daytime ride. It was a sweaty, moist mess and every flat object that could hold itself had been recruited to fan warm skins. It was a sauna in here a few hours ago. Funnily I had only noticed when the woman next to me demanded I took off my jacket because just seeing me in it was making her feel all the more hot. I had obliged, I wasn't in a mood to argue. I just wanted to get back to wallow in my thoughts. That's what I tended to do a lot lately. Think.

My phone buzzed on my lap and I looked down to see 'Shikamaru' written across the glowing screen. I pondered what he could possibly want, internally I groaned in irritation. It was his idea that I took time off my work and now that I was, he couldn't let me be. Later, I would feel terrible. I knew that he was just concerned. I haven't been myself lately. But for now, that I had forsaken my mannerisms for the time being - good boy mannerism - I was free to feel however I wanted. So I stared at the screen until the buzzing stopped.

I returned to staring at the scenery outside, the play of colors bursting in the sky. It took me back to her, the blue reminding me of her ocean gaze and the pink of her beautiful locks, so much like her mother's. I had loved it, loved her with all my heart that it almost killed me when she vanished. Being the stubborn fool I was, my body survived but I was only a breathing shell of my former self. I would die any day of the week if I could, I would've died if it meant she got to live. But things never go the way you want, does it? She had breathed four springs and then she was gone.

And despite everything, despite my body being a walking mannequin and my heart crushed glass, I couldn't summon any tears. I wish I could but there was something wrong with me, I guess. That was why I often frequented a therapist. That was why I was on medication, for my mood, for sleep, for all the things we take for granted. But I think the only thing wrong with me was my inability to be a good father. I was terrible when she lived. And I am terrible even now, while she was six feet under. I couldn't even cry for her. When the doctors told me that she had passed, I hadn't shed a single tear, despite Sakura's cries having roused the entire hospital. At the funeral, when the were lowering her coffin into her tiny grave; I still didn't cry. They said crying was good, that it helped with every dark thought and feeling bottled inside of you. Maybe that was why even after six months, I was as miserable as the day she had moved on.

The bus stopped and someone climbed in.

The frame was that of a girl but her face was shadowed by the headdress of her hoodie. She paused momentarily and fidgeted in her spot before reluctantly settling down into the only empty seat, opposite to mine. I mentally scoffed at her poor attempt to conceal herself. Who was she trying to fool? I could tell her from anywhere. The way she carried herself, the way she twiddled her fingers - I knew it like I knew how to breathe. We grew up together. At one time, she had been my extension.

At any other day, I would have been ecstatic. I would've rejoiced at finally finding my lost friend. Best friend. But she left when I most needed her. She vanished, only adding to my worries and misery. I had blamed myself for her disappearance. I had prayed every day for her well being, for her safety, for her to comeback to us, to me. And now that she was here, I don't find myself caring at all.

She might as well be a stranger to me. She threw away my friendship, like a discarded canteen. To her, it meant nothing. And if she didn't want it, I don't want to give her. I take back my friendship.

I was NOT friends with Hyuuga Hinata anymore.

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The first chap came out a big angsty. Well guess what, that's how I like it. What are your thoughts on it?

tayyabalaraib.